Couples who dont fight.

auntdeedee87

I was recently having a conversation with a friend about a small fight my boyfriend and I had over the weekend. It was silly but necessary, we heard each other out, apologized and moved on.

She was alarmed-- "You've only been together a few months! You guys fight?!"

Yep. We do. Infrequently, and usually they're pretty short-lived but we definitely have arguments.

She proceeded to tell me "Well, me and Hubby never fight. I don't know what I'd do if we had arguments like that."



Really? Never? Are there couples that dont fight at least on occasion? To me that sounds like a red flag. Maybe because my previous relationship was spent, on my part, by walking on eggshells so we Nevermind fought either.

My relationship is the healthiest and happiest I've ever had-- I think arguing is good for us every now and then. Couples who never fight worry me.

I'm interested to know what you guys think.

ElizabethRoad

Hardly ever. People who get up in my business and tell me how my relationship should work, that bugs the crap out of me.

auntdeedee87

Hardly ever. People who get up in my business and tell me how my relationship should work, that bugs the crap out of me.

When I told her we fought on occasion you would have thought I'd confessed to being behind 9/11. I think she secretly wanted to sneak me into a battered women's shelter.

spammyanna

My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....

We are now divorced.

My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.

People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.

taglientep

i think if people dont argue or disagree to an extent dont challenge each other.....to not argue to me would be unhealthy

surfrgrl1

My boyfriend and I don't argue or fight.
Not saying we don't get irritated with one another, but we don't fight.

taglientep

Besides...MAKE UP SEX duh..... i like some fights just because of it

Qarol

We don't fight often. Usually it's about his parents.

Moonblood

I think you're fine, all depends on how often and how much of a fight it actually is. My husband and I bicker often, I sometimes think that's just who we are, we're happily in love and are each others world, we just bicker. We end up making each other laugh because of it. lol I think we have a stronger bond because we really communicate, all the time, good or bad.

ishapeme

I think couple's who don’t argue do care enough to argue. It’s just not worth it to them. OR one of them is compromising their feelings/thoghts for the sake of the other and that can’t be healthy.

femmerides

well we used to fight a lot and they were nasty fights. we started going to counseling, learned effective ways to communicate and respect one another. here we are, almost 8 years married now and we do fight but it is very rare. we also make sure to NEVER fight in front of the kids. if we start arguing, we push pause and continue later when the kids are in bed. i do think fighting is natural since you are two different people with different opinions, etc. if you didn't fight...well, i don't know...i think it would be fake or something. i had some friends that always told people they never fought...however, they would have petty arguments.....that's fighting...lol

u2fergus

Personally, I think HOW you fight is what is really significant. There's a good way to do it and a bad way to do it, and it's not hard to see the difference. If you're saying humiliating or cruel things or if you start getting physically violent, then I'd say your relationship is in some trouble. If you're just butting heads because you're human and you live in the same house... I don't know anybody who doesn't do that sometimes.

sunkisses

I wonder if they disagree, but don't necessarily fight. Know what I mean? I have a friend who has the most excellent communication with her husband, and they disagree, but they don't bicker or fight. Maybe your friend is more like that than a Stepford Wife.

KimertRuns13_1

Besides...MAKE UP SEX duh..... i like some fights just because of it

LOL exactly!!!

Hubby and I do our fair share of "fighting," if you even call it that. We have the occasional disagreement but neither of us are ever sleeping on the couch.

hsh0927

My bf and I hardly ever fight BECAUSE we communicate so well. I remember a guy that I worked told me it wasn't healthy...a week after his wife left him I didn't really take his comments into consideration lol. Although, I do think in a lot of cases not fight can be a bad thing..

tigertchr23

It is natural for couples to argue or disagree. You are two individuals and just because you love each other it doesn't mean you have the exact same views on everything. Every couple is also very different so don't let your friend try to tell you what your relationship should look like. I have been married 16 years and sometimes we argue a lot and sometimes we don't argue at all. There are ups and downs to everything.

Best wishes :flowerforyou:

brookepenni

My relationship is the healthiest and happiest I've ever had-- I think arguing is good for us every now and then. Couples who never fight worry me.

I'm interested to know what you guys think.

I think you've got a great relationship - and you do too, you said it above

FearAnLoathing

Me & the hubby fought like crazy for the first year we were together.Now we never fight.
The biggest agument weve had is whos turn it its to be on top lol

rmhand

My boyfriend and I of 2 years have not fought... yet. We know it will happen one day. We communicate very well and get things off our chest as soon as possible to prevent hurt feelings and fighting. We recognize and respect when something is taken the wrong way or something not so nice was said but we also joke A LOT. And it takes us a lot to get really upset.

I agree fights are natural and normal as long as they end in a positive resolution for both parties.

rockerbabyy

i suppose it depends on what you consider a "fight". little arguments or disagreements should happen in every relationship imo.. screaming/yelling type fights..eh. that would depend on how often they happen and what they are about.. if youre fighting about the same thing all the time i think its unhealthy. if its something you work through and move on from then its fine.
but i think that people who always get along either arent really communicating fully or are extremely lucky to have found someone that agrees with them 100% of the time.

EricNCSU

My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....

We are now divorced.

My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.

People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.

This is exactly what I was thinking.. couples who don't fight aren't talking at all. It doesn't have to be a knock out drag out and no, not a physical "fight".. but you are going to disagree. Even if at the end, you only agree to disagree as long as you listen to each others side and respect the others opinion than it is perfectly healthy.

McKayMachina

I think it's different for everyone. Each relationship is super different.

I don't know why never fighting would be any kind of red flag unless either or both people are suppressing their honesty. But I think some people really just get along very well. I have been in both types of relationships and the dynamic is a very personal one so I just don't judge.

skierxjes

Besides...MAKE UP SEX duh..... i like some fights just because of it

Ever fight DURING make up sex? Kind of awkward if you never have.. Take it from experience.

GorillaNJ

Why would we fight? She would just have to admit that I had been right all along. :smokin:

ElizabethRoad

Hardly ever. People who get up in my business and tell me how my relationship should work, that bugs the crap out of me.

When I told her we fought on occasion you would have thought I'd confessed to being behind 9/11. I think she secretly wanted to sneak me into a battered women's shelter.

You're acting the same way though. I don't appreciate you telling me that it's a red flag to not have fights. Might be true for you, but that doesn't make it true for me. Why can't you just accept that people are all different?

LisaMariaCallow

My husband & I rarely fight; it's more of a disagreement than a fight, per se, but we DO have the occasional fight. We get it out and get over it. People who say they don't are A) lying or avoiding issues.

auntdeedee87

Just to clarify, when I say 'fight' I mean have a disagreement. In our worst there were tears and a raised voice here and there, but only out of frustration and not violence. We are nowhere near violent.

houzkat

My husband and I fight over the stupid stuff and the serious stuff. We yell, then we talk, then we "make up". I think we have an awesome marriage :laugh:

mmuzzatti

My boyfriend and I don't argue or fight.
Not saying we don't get irritated with one another, but we don't fight.

That's me and my wife too.

dandrews010

I think it varies but arguments in relationships to me are very important. Not the arguments themselves but what they mean, which is usually that my current g/f is pushing me. i've had relationships where the women just roll over and it doesn't work for me. I can't stand moaning though.

dkueter94

My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....

We are now divorced.

My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.

People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.

I agree! Not that fighting all the time is healthy, but people who don't fight at all or rarely I think have a lot of things they are not communicating to the other person and/or dealing with. Fighting is NORMAL, as long as it doesn't get unhealthy by calling names or saying stupid mean stuff (something I have to work on when I get really really mad!).