Couples who dont fight.

Articeluvsmemphis

that's weird if couples don't fight, I just don't see how that's a healthy relationship. No two people can have a great friendship/relationship romantic or not and not have any kind of discord at all. my parents are knocking on 30years and they argue sometimes. If there's no arguing, someone is sacrificing a lot of themselves to keep the relationship argue free

cptnjck0209

Some people just agree with each other on general topics. I have friends who fight definitely too much with their partners and they even know it but are too scared of the dreaded 'single' life to do anything. Then I have friends who argue a moderate amount but are okay with it.

Then I have my shining gold example of a relationship or my best friend and her man, rarely ever fight except back in the first few months of the relationship when they were learning to understand each other. The biggest issues they ever face are discussions about their future ideas and atm they're working long-distance for a few months. THAT's the kind of relationship I envy.

Discussions not arguments =D

LorinaLynn

Together 12 years, married 10 years tomorrow.

We disagree, argue and get angry at times, but I wouldn't say we "fight." We both make a point to get little things out in the open so they don't become fights.

asaba1013

My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....

We are now divorced.

My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.

People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.

i couldnt agree more... this is exactly right!!!!!

Alachofra15

Yeah me and my boyfriend are one of those couples who don't fight. We've even discussed that and whether it's weird, but essentially it's because we don't fight with ANYONE in general. It's not that we don't get irritated/frustrated with each other, but we both know (and prefer) to let the other person grumble, get moody and then get over it. It's just who we are as people.

We both know when we're being unreasonable, and he in particular is amazing about stewing, realising he's done wrong and apologising. I'm a bit more stubborn, don't like to be wrong, but I would rather let it out on my own and then get over it than have an argument. And it works for us - when we disagree we talk about it for sure, but it's never gotten to the stage of an argument, and somehow neither of us hold resentment, as I don't think we've had a disagreement about something that's come up a second time.

But I don't think I've had more than one real face-to-face argument in my entire life with anyone, (not including with my parents, siblings when I was a kid and moody teenager). I wouldn't say I'm passive - on the contrary I'm very passionate about certain things - but I don't sweat the small stuff, and I don't lose my temper easily.

I'm incredibly lucky in my relationship, really going strong after a year - so it *is* possible to have relationships that don't fight. But I do think that some couples avoid it because they are scared to lose the other, and so issues DO build up and create longer-term problems.

Grokette

i think if people dont argue or disagree to an extent dont challenge each other.....to not argue to me would be unhealthy

This is true. My husband and I went to marriage counselor because we thought we shouldn't fight. The counselor laughed and said the couples that should be in his office are the ones that don't fight or argue.

Arguing is a great form of communication.

fionarama

I think its that Relate group that said that couples who fights often stay together longer than ones that do.I think its down to personality type, if you are not fighting it may be your'e not as intimate/not communicating as well asyou might think.
Its not so much the fight, its HOW the fight is done - a couple might say they don't fight but that doesn't mean they don't have conflicts but they may have more positive ways of resolving said conflicts. The term fighting implicates a resistance to bend/a resistance to compromise which is never good for any kind of relationship.,
And i guess if the same conflict keeps coming up without there being a solution that can be a warning sign?

chatterbox3110

We certainly have the occasional difference of opinion, but rarely a full blown argument.

We live by house rules - 1, The wife is always right 2. When hubby thinks he's right, see rule 1!!

Having said that, we do have friends who have been married for almost 40 years and have NEVER had an argument - they just plod on every day LOL Absolutely amazing!

LorinaLynn

I think some people thrive on the drama and excitement of fighting.

Life has given me enough drama without having to turn against my husband. If we're going to fight, it's going to be together and against a common enemy.

LilMissFoodie

We live by house rules - 1, The wife is always right 2. When hubby thinks he's right, see rule 1!!

Having said that, we do have friends who have been married for almost 40 years and have NEVER had an argument - they just plod on every day LOL Absolutely amazing!

hahahaha love it!

Also, awww a very nice post I think part of why my hubby and I get along so well is because we know each other inside out. I think that is because we spent quite a long time in an ultra long distance relationship (me in Australia and him in the UK, we had both just graduated and one of us would have had to give up our career to be closer sooner). People would comment that we must not be close to be able to be apart like that but I beg to differ. The only option for making things work and spending time together was talking, talking and more talking! No sitting in front of the tv together, no making out, no going out just hours and hours of conversation every single day. Everybody also always said that once we moved in together all hell would break loose since we had never lived together but I think the strong communication that we had prior to living together was what made moving in an absolute breeze!

CARNAT22

I've been with my OH for 4 years and we've lived with each other for most of this time.

I am a firecracker and fly off the handle pretty easily but calm down pretty easily.

(So for example I may snap at the OH for leaving the dishes in the sink while he plays in the PS3 but within seconds I will apologise for snapping and ask him nicely to do the dishes - "when he has a minute")

My OH is a slow burner - he has to be incredibly pi55ed off about something to get angry. He is usualy very calm and patient so something really has to get to him...

On this basis we rarely argue. He'll pull me up about snapping and I encourage him to be more open if something is bugging him. He has made me more patient and I have taught him to express himself a bit more instead of bottling things up!

Najay

It is normal for people to have disagreements. If not how else would you challenge yourself. This is not a perfect world and no one thinks the same on every issue. Sounds like your friend is lying to herself about her own issues.

KimmieBrie

My X and I hardly ever fought... and I was just going through life in a blah state. I wasn't suppressing anything really - I just didn't care.

My husband and I fight - but not like outright screaming type of fighting... it's more like get pissed off and talk it out after or ya know, go through some sort of passive aggressive juvenile regression and then get over it and make up - it's not loud - but it's still a form of fighting, and later we laugh about it. Most two people just won't agree all the time and people, especially men vs women, are just significantly different.

LilMissFoodie

It is normal for people to have disagreements. If not how else would you challenge yourself. This is not a perfect world and no one thinks the same on every issue. Sounds like your friend is lying to herself about her own issues.

I mostly challenge myself through my career and extra curricular activities. Through careful planning of goals and reflection on my successes and failures. I don't really feel that I need or want to be challenged by my husband! I prefer a mutually supportive relationship based on similar goals and ideals.

LorinaLynn

It is normal for people to have disagreements. If not how else would you challenge yourself. This is not a perfect world and no one thinks the same on every issue. Sounds like your friend is lying to herself about her own issues.

I mostly challenge myself through my career and extra curricular activities. Through careful planning of goals and reflection on my successes and failures. I don't really feel that I need or want to be challenged by my husband! I prefer a mutually supportive relationship based on similar goals and ideals.

I like this.

I wanted a partner, not a Rubick's Cube. Life challenges me enough. My husband and I celebrate our victories, commiserate our sorrows, and support each other as we reach for our goals.

Judas_Queen

I've been with my partner for nearly seven years, and we've had our fair share of arguments. Usually over silly little things that flag up because one of us had a bad day, or is tired and crabby... other than that we've only had two maybe three big fights where we thought it might be over.. but we came back stronger (and touch wood...) we haven't had any relationship shaking fights for a good few years!

I think the longer you're with someone, you know what riles them so know to avoid phrasing things in certain ways. Like i said, we argue about little things quite a lot, but we are engaged, looking at getting a house (as we are poor and living at home with parents.. dont ask..) and are actually, i think, a very strong couple. Arguments don't lessen a bond, i think they make them stronger some people are hot headed and the only way to get your opinion across is to say it louder and SLOWER than your partner so that they understand

rml_16

I don't know how it's possible to live with someone day in and day out and to blend two lives together and never argue or fight.

Of course, there are degrees, but I think if you never argue, someone isn't expressing his or her own opinions and needs somewhere. That isn't healthy.

Gettinfit2

I guess the answer depends on the definition of fight. I've been married for 25 years. We have lots of disagreements. We discuss them; share feelings and look for resolutions. We don't shout, call names, stomp feet, wave hands or go to bed angry and mad. We also try to avoid discussing any issue while being mad or angry- that leads to fights, because emotions rather than reasoning may prevail. I certainly let my husband know how I feel about something and he does the same.

Having issues does not have cause fighting about them. Good communication should help avoid fights.

LilMissFoodie

Having issues does not have cause fighting about them. Good communication should help avoid fights.

I agree, my husband and I are both logical and understanding people. We discuss our opinions which may often not be the same but by the end of the (calm and rational) discussion usually we have reached a common ground. I think it is a big oversight for people to say that those who don't fight in a relationship are not expressing their own opinions.

PJilly

My husband and I have been together since 1989, and we never fight. That doesn't mean we don't have disagreements on occasion, and we talk things out when we disagree about an issue, but we've never had a discussion that rises to the definition of a fight. Argument maybe, but not a fight, and there have been only a handful of those in our 23 years together.