Couples who dont fight.

NakedLunchTime

My husband and I have been together for 9 1/2 yrs and married 1 1/2 years. We didnt have our first disagreement until we were together 11 months..I have no clue why I remember that lol..anyways, yes we disagree and then get over it..if it is something serious we have deep conversations, not arguments about it because that will only make the other person feel like they are wrong for feeling the way they feel. I honestly feel some arguments have brought us closer together!!

ishmael81

My wife and I fight. It's usually my fault because I'm a big ole jerk and trample all over her.

I guess it's good for us because couples who don't argue seem fake. We know a couple who don't fight but they are rude with each other and then don't talk to each other the rest of the day. It's weird.

kburns0709

Me and my fiancé argue from time to time, but we've never really had a BIG fight. Like a going to bed mad fight. But we argue enough so that I feel like we're probably normal.

VeganGal84

We fight sometimes, but it's so rare that I'm sure I'm guilty of saying "Oh, we NEVER fight!" :laugh:

We debate quite often about things that have nothing to do with our relationship, just politics and such, which is fun.

We compromise about almost everything and hardly ever fight, and it works for us. I don't think our not arguing is a "red flag" since we've been together for 3.5 years now and are ridiculously happy toghether.

kyle4jem

My folks were blissfully happy for nearly 60yrs until my mum passed away last year. They used to argue and bicker all the time - usually because my dad was always convinced he was right (and infuriatingly it was also true 99% of the time :laugh:)

The Hubster and I also bicker like a couple of old fools too and we too are blissfully happy and very much in love with each other.

We never fight... i.e. no screaming or shouting at each other , no throwing or smashing things.

We do have friends that never seem to bicker (although I'm sure they do in private), but most of our friends have healthy relationships where they can express opinions and have a debate without world war three breaking out :laugh:

fteale

We don't fight. I couldn't stand living in a house where there was stress and conflict. Ever. When I get cross, I go seriously ballistic, so it's best I don't even start.

LilMissFoodie

We know a couple who don't fight but they are rude with each other and then don't talk to each other the rest of the day. It's weird.

You wouldn't class that as a fight? See, when I say we don't fight, I'm not saying we do any freaky stuff like that in it's place!!

Froggy1976

Disagreements and dealing with issues does not have to equal fighting. Why do you think everyone's relationship has to function the same as yours? This is so insulting. How dare you tell me that we aren't talking at all? How exactly would you know? Ugh. I can't stand know-it-all "experts" like you.

Is that why you choose to come here and fight? Do you need a hug or perhaps a good nights sleep? No reason to attack people. A question was asked, if you don't agree or it doesn't apply to you, why do you feel the need to reply with such hostility?
My husband and I argue playfully and we have some serious disagreements sometimes. It never gets too heated and it's never in front of the kids.

i_love_vinegar

Who cares if you fight or not!

As long as you are happy together, that is what matters. We cannot all handle situations or communicate in the same manner~there is no right or wrong!

BethanieK

Really? Never? Are there couples that dont fight at least on occasion? To me that sounds like a red flag. Maybe because my previous relationship was spent, on my part, by walking on eggshells so we Nevermind fought either.

Couples who never fight worry me.

I'm interested to know what you guys think.

My ex and I never fought. The entire 4 years we spent together, the only fight we had was pertaining to the break up.
I don't think that's healthy, and encourage a few small arguments now and then to keep things interesting. LOL

*Besides no fighting = no making up and.....well, that just sucks.

rdale8200

I think if we went more than two days without fighting I would be worried. I'm not saying knock down drag out brawls, but little tiffs, bickering, and a rude comment now and then. I will admit I have poor communication skills but those little spats we have lets me express things to my husband much easier than some mushy conversation. I am just lucky he puts up with it and loves me anyway. I think after 2.5 years of being married he is getting used to it. It doesn't help that he is in the Army and out of 32 months of being married we have only lived with each other for 13 of them.

La_Amazona

I'm a latin girl. I have a temper sometimes, I can admit it.

I don't fight to pick fights but sometimes my passion gets me in trouble. I think healthy fighting can be good but as I've gotten older I have learned that picking your battles is best. The crap I used to fight about when I was younger was stupid!!

myofibril

I think if you have been in a relationship for any length of time and have never seriously contemplated plans to have your partner taken out by a hit man you were never truly in love to begin with...

bear_nakey

I didn't read the comments, so someone may have already said this, but if a couple doesn't argue or disagree about anything at all, then at least one of them isn't being honest about how they truely feel about things. I have yet to meet two people who completely agree on everything all the time.* Disagreements, arguing, fighting, are general statements btw *

writtenINthestars

My ex husband and I never fought, but it was because we didn't communicate....

We are now divorced.

My current boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights/arguments, and we worked through them. We have a much stronger relationship because of it.

People who don't fight are ignoring issues and not dealing with them.

This is exactly what I was thinking.. couples who don't fight aren't talking at all. It doesn't have to be a knock out drag out and no, not a physical "fight".. but you are going to disagree. Even if at the end, you only agree to disagree as long as you listen to each others side and respect the others opinion than it is perfectly healthy.

Disagreements and dealing with issues does not have to equal fighting. Why do you think everyone's relationship has to function the same as yours? This is so insulting. How dare you tell me that we aren't talking at all? How exactly would you know? Ugh. I can't stand know-it-all "experts" like you.

Ok first off....above poster is just a delight....


Anyway....I think the statements the OP made were a bit too broad....people may "fight" and in their heads that's arguing about a situation or subject, or it may be full blown screaming...it may be not talking at all. I think every couple deals with their disagreements in their own way but what we all label it may not be "fighting".

christinad95

I was recently having a conversation with a friend about a small fight my boyfriend and I had over the weekend. It was silly but necessary, we heard each other out, apologized and moved on.

She was alarmed-- "You've only been together a few months! You guys fight?!"

Yep. We do. Infrequently, and usually they're pretty short-lived but we definitely have arguments.

She proceeded to tell me "Well, me and Hubby never fight. I don't know what I'd do if we had arguments like that."



Really? Never? Are there couples that dont fight at least on occasion? To me that sounds like a red flag. Maybe because my previous relationship was spent, on my part, by walking on eggshells so we Nevermind fought either.

My relationship is the healthiest and happiest I've ever had-- I think arguing is good for us every now and then. Couples who never fight worry me.

I'm interested to know what you guys think.

You've gotten alot of mixed responses on here, which I think is really good. The more information, the better insight a person can get on a topic. I will say this however, there are many responses of couples who don't argue. My question is what do they consider the definition of argue? The reason I ask this is every couple disagree's and agrues, but that doesn't mean it has to be done in a screaming match. Just because it's not screaming at each other doesn't mean it wasn't a disagreement or that they didn't have to argue their point calmly to get their information across to the other person. I can tell you that the individual in which you had this discussion with is one of many who will say they never argue with their spouse, but truthfully, there's something to be said about that. You're right, IF in fact that's true then the two individuals are just walking on eggshell's around each other, appeasing each other and burying whatever is bothering them. One day, it will erupt. On the other hand I myself even know people who claim they don't argue, or have never had a disagreement. Those are the people that I would love to remind them that #1 they have neighbors, #2 I've walked away from the door without knocking when it was clear they were arguing and I had come at a bad time, and #3- they have children.....and their children talk. Unfortunately, those are the cases that I feel sorriest for because they feel that admiting that they disagree or have a heated arguement must mean that their marriage is not good, when in fact it's the exact opposite. Learning how to work together in a marriage means that sometimes we have to speak our part and that may not always result in a pleasant conversation. It's healthy to have a heated arguement sometimes because this is how we learn how to listen to each other and grow together. Plus making up afterward is always good. LOL. Don't let others tell you you're wrong or make you feel uncomfortable about having an arguement with your other half, it's perfectly normal. Besides, if you have siblings, do you remember what it was like to live in the same house as them for 18 years? Got on your nerves once in a while huh? lol, that's what happens when we decide to share a space with someone, every once in a while we are going to get on each others nerves. lol

fteale

I don't get this couples need to fight thing at all. I have had people in my life I argue with, and they have never lasted in my life for long. I am all for sarcasm and banter, but I simply don't do fighting. If a man shouted at me, he'd be out of my house 30 seconds later. I simply won't have that. Luckily my husband isn't a shouter. Amazingly we have managed to stay together for 16 years without ever having needed to fight or argue. We have things we disagree on, but we discuss them like sensible adults, not brawling children. That's not to say we don't get cross with each other, of course we do, but we avoid each other until we are calm enough to get our point across rather than screaming and stamping our feet.

christinad95

. Besides, if you have siblings, do you remember what it was like to live in the same house as them for 18 years? Got on your nerves once in a while huh? lol, that's what happens when we decide to share a space with someone, every once in a while we are going to get on each others nerves. lol

I agree with everything you said.
But. The way I "fought" with my siblings and parents between the ages of birth and 18 are totally different than the healthy debates and/or arguments I have with them today.

You're absolutely right. When we are young we fight "age appropriately" lol, meaning that your disagreements with them are probably handled with a bit more maturity now that you're an adult. Plus the topics were probably different then, then they are now, just as the topics with our spouse may be very different from those that we had with siblings or parents.