Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control
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Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
Worlds HIGHEST TEEN PREGNANCY rate......
And you're automatically assuming these teens are ones who went to their parents for birth control and their parents said no? Do you realize that many of these teens WANT to get pregnant? Do you realize that some of these teens probably had access to birth control? Do you realize that many of these teens weren't even talked to about pregnancy? I'm not saying to keep it taboo in the home and never talk about it. I'm saying I could never take my daughter at 15 to get birth control. I would have never provided my sons with condoms, either.
OK, well then you clearly live in a VERY different world than the one that I do, and I work in Schools with children. I hope the real world never jumps up and bites you or your family on the *kitten*, I really do.
I am not commenting any more on this thread, it is clearly too big a divide and people have very different views.0 -
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Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
Worlds HIGHEST TEEN PREGNANCY rate......
And you're automatically assuming these teens are ones who went to their parents for birth control and their parents said no? Do you realize that many of these teens WANT to get pregnant? Do you realize that some of these teens probably had access to birth control? Do you realize that many of these teens weren't even talked to about pregnancy? I'm not saying to keep it taboo in the home and never talk about it. I'm saying I could never take my daughter at 15 to get birth control. I would have never provided my sons with condoms, either.
OK, well then you clearly live in a VERY different world than the one that I do, and I work in Schools with children. I hope the real world never jumps up and bites you or your family on the *kitten*, I really do.
I am not commenting any more on this thread, it is clearly too big a divide and people have very different views.
Why can't we have different views without insulting each other? I've commented here and never bashed anyone else for their decision, yet those of us who said "No, we wouldn't" were pretty much land blasted.0 -
Am I the only one here shocked at how many people say they'd be "proud" of their 15 year old daughter asking for birth control because she was having sex? One person even said she felt she "would have done her job" if her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she graduates from high school. It just reminds me of the quote, "Your children will live down to your expectations".
No you are not the only one. Why not put great hopes and aspirations on your kids? Why not have them focus on something other than sex?
For the record I dont think that sex is dirty or nasty. I just think 15 year olds should be studying for their drivers tests and getting excited about being a freshman rather than getting it on with their boyfried of 2 months that they totally love with all their hearts!0 -
this! and...
I have a 12yo daughter, I am dreading this day as she just began menstruating. I would have to have a serious talk about the intense adult ramifications involved with sex and to lighten it up I would give her an aspirin to keep in her purse. When with a boy and feels the need for birth control, she is to hold the aspirin between her knees until the treat has passed. This is effective protection against STDs and pregnancy!
I don't get this?
I think it was a joke. She said, "To lighten it up ..."0 -
Get her birth control and then give her condoms. She doesn't need to tell the boys she is on the pill but she does need to hand them a condom EVERY TIME! Double protected. Also talk to her and let her know that if she is being pressured she can say no. She also needs to know the failure rate of pill and how she needs to be vigilant with taking them and that antibiotics often render them useless. Get her the HPV shot if she hasn't had it. Help her understand that sex is a gift and not give it away to just anyone. Self-respect is hugely important for young women and if she is doing this just to be accepted that is not a good enough reason to have sex. It's ok to wait.
Another poster mentioned that she may want it for heavy periods or her skin or she may want to only have 3-4 periods a year by taking it constantly. These are all adult discussion that need to be considered. From the time my kids (2 of each) were about ten we had open honest cause and effect discussions about sex and babies.Ask: "If you do this what can happen. List the positives and the negatives". Then you fill in the areas they missed. Are these comfortable discussions? Not always. But I always told them if you are old enough to say, "I can make my own decisions" or "Treat me like an adult," then you need to be adult enough to discuss this issue like an adult with another adult. Keep the lines of discussion open always.0 -
no, i didnt read it that way. Dont argue, but i can tell you something. Im 31 and you guys are scaring me away from having children!
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quote]Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
Worlds HIGHEST TEEN PREGNANCY rate......
And you're automatically assuming these teens are ones who went to their parents for birth control and their parents said no? Do you realize that many of these teens WANT to get pregnant? Do you realize that some of these teens probably had access to birth control? Do you realize that many of these teens weren't even talked to about pregnancy? I'm not saying to keep it taboo in the home and never talk about it. I'm saying I could never take my daughter at 15 to get birth control. I would have never provided my sons with condoms, either.
OK, well then you clearly live in a VERY different world than the one that I do, and I work in Schools with children. I hope the real world never jumps up and bites you or your family on the *kitten*, I really do.
I am not commenting any more on this thread, it is clearly too big a divide and people have very different views.
So, your "hope" for me is that one of my childen ends up pregnant as a teenager or getting someone pregnant? Yes, we do live in different worlds.
[/quote]0 -
Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
My best friend has had quite a lot of sex since she was 14. She didn't have an unwanted pregnancy because she was lucky. I would rather not take the chance that my kid will be lucky.
That's great that no one in your high school has gotten pregnant, though doubtful. You probably just don't know about it.
When I had my daughter, that same year, 28 girls between 7th and 12th grade in the district were pregnant, all from "good homes." We were an upper middle class area and most everyone attended church regularly. A LOT of Catholics. Small town in upstate New York, highly educated as well.0 -
Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
i can speak for myself in the fact that I dont NOT know if she is or is not going to engage in underage sex. I would however like to know that she doesnt have to just because some kid wants her to. Besides 15 year olds are inadequately equipped emotional and mentally to make any decisions that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Thats why they have parents.
I do not rule my kids with an iron fist. we have a loving home and we do openly communicate. No one knows what their kids will do when they are teenagers. No one's way is right or wrong. Whatever works for one household may not work in another.
But by asking to go on the pill, she is making her own mind and choice on the matter clear, and is asking that you help prevent an unwanted child that might result from adding to the massive numbers already in your country, which has the worlds highest teen pregnancy rate.
im sure the day will come that she asks for it too. my hope and desire is that she waits until she is married. i dont understand why this mind frame is laughed at? i dont think its unrealistic at all.
The question is, "If your teen daughter asks for BC, what would you do?"
That assumes that she's asking for it because she wants to have sex. That means she ISN'T WAITING. So, you all would rather send her off to have sex unprotected than make sure she doesn't. If your kid decides to have sex, she's probably going to. You can try to talk her out of it, but what if you try and she still says she's going to do it? Chastity belt? Bars on her windows and locks on her doors? Follow her to school and shadow her everywhere she goes?0 -
Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
My best friend has had quite a lot of sex since she was 14. She didn't have an unwanted pregnancy because she was lucky. I would rather not take the chance that my kid will be lucky.
That's great that no one in your high school has gotten pregnant, though doubtful. You probably just don't know about it.
When I had my daughter, that same year, 28 girls between 7th and 12th grade in the district were pregnant, all from "good homes." We were an upper middle class area and most everyone attended church regularly. A LOT of Catholics. Small town in upstate New York, highly educated as well.
I agree that teenage pregnancy is a problem and it is sad. I'm not saying that those raised in a Catholic home or Catholic school don't get pregnant as teenagers. I should have mentioned that I work at a small school, and I realize that's very different than a school of thousands of kids so my situation is not really a good sampling of society. My point is that I do not think it is bad parenting not to provide your children with birth control, as has been suggested here. There are plenty of teenagers having sex who do not get pregnant whose parents did not provide the BC.0 -
Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
My best friend has had quite a lot of sex since she was 14. She didn't have an unwanted pregnancy because she was lucky. I would rather not take the chance that my kid will be lucky.
That's great that no one in your high school has gotten pregnant, though doubtful. You probably just don't know about it.
When I had my daughter, that same year, 28 girls between 7th and 12th grade in the district were pregnant, all from "good homes." We were an upper middle class area and most everyone attended church regularly. A LOT of Catholics. Small town in upstate New York, highly educated as well.
I agree that teenage pregnancy is a problem and it is sad. I'm not saying that those raised in a Catholic home or Catholic school don't get pregnant as teenagers. I should have mentioned that I work at a small school, and I realize that's very different than a school of thousands of kids so my situation is not really a good sampling of society. My point is that I do not think it is bad parenting not to provide your children with birth control, as has been suggested here. There are plenty of teenagers having sex who do not get pregnant whose parents did not provide the BC.
Then those were either very smart kids who got it on their own or they were lucky.
Again, I don't want to take the chance with my kid's life that she'll be "lucky."0 -
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I agree that teenage pregnancy is a problem and it is sad. I'm not saying that those raised in a Catholic home or Catholic school don't get pregnant as teenagers. I should have mentioned that I work at a small school, and I realize that's very different than a school of thousands of kids so my situation is not really a good sampling of society. My point is that I do not think it is bad parenting not to provide your children with birth control, as has been suggested here. There are plenty of teenagers having sex who do not get pregnant whose parents did not provide the BC.
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I have to say that I agree with you...My parents made it very clear that if I ever got pregnant, they woudl not support me. So, through highschool I did not have sex and worked my butt off to get myself established career wise and financially. I was months before graduating HS before I had sex and the next year I met my now husband. I definately see patterns in the family with the friends I have when I look around *my* life and it's been proven by myself and so many other teens that there are other ways to protect your kids besides offering them a security blanket. THat's just my opinion. Take it or leave it. :flowerforyou:0 -
Macpatti said:Why can't we have different views without insulting each other? I've commented here and never bashed anyone else for their decision, yet those of us who said "No, we wouldn't" were pretty much land blasted.
Though she previously said:Am I the only one here shocked at how many people say they'd be "proud" of their 15 year old daughter asking for birth control because she was having sex? One person even said she felt she "would have done her job" if her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she graduates from high school. It just reminds me of the quote, "Your children will live down to your expectations".
The great thing about the internet as opposed to arguing in person? You can't pretend you didn't say something you in fact did.0 -
Do you know what, all you people who think if you talk to your kids and are open with them or any other of those things that they WON'T have sex if they want are only deluding yourselves, like my Mum, who totally believed I would not have sex, I told her I would not have sex when she asked me about it, she would not let me go on the pill because she KNEW I was a good girl, I was bright, we had an open and easy relationship and I had firm moral boundaries and great guidelines to follow.
It was only when I was pregnant that she finally woke up and smelt the coffee....bit late methinks
Again~ who said that any of us who will not provide our 15 year old daughter with birth control thinks that means she won't have sex?
yes but she WON'T have an unwanted pregnancy as a result......that is the point surely
You're assuming that teenagers who don't have a parent who will say yes to birth control end up pregnant. I realize I'm in the minority here, but none of my friends or any of my children's friends or my husband's friends got pregnant when they were teenagers. I doubt they were put on birth control by their parents. I've worked at a high school for 10 years, and I've never seen or heard of a teenager getting pregnant, nor any of the guys getting someone pregnant. Believe it or not, not all teenagers who have sex and have a parent who won't provide BC get pregnant.
My best friend has had quite a lot of sex since she was 14. She didn't have an unwanted pregnancy because she was lucky. I would rather not take the chance that my kid will be lucky.
That's great that no one in your high school has gotten pregnant, though doubtful. You probably just don't know about it.
When I had my daughter, that same year, 28 girls between 7th and 12th grade in the district were pregnant, all from "good homes." We were an upper middle class area and most everyone attended church regularly. A LOT of Catholics. Small town in upstate New York, highly educated as well.
I agree that teenage pregnancy is a problem and it is sad. I'm not saying that those raised in a Catholic home or Catholic school don't get pregnant as teenagers. I should have mentioned that I work at a small school, and I realize that's very different than a school of thousands of kids so my situation is not really a good sampling of society. My point is that I do not think it is bad parenting not to provide your children with birth control, as has been suggested here. There are plenty of teenagers having sex who do not get pregnant whose parents did not provide the BC.
Then those were either very smart kids who got it on their own or they were lucky.
Again, I don't want to take the chance with my kid's life that she'll be "lucky."
Well, my hope is that I raise some very smart kids who make wise decisions. I will not compromise my moral obligations because of something that might happen. I hope to teach my children the same. It's not that I won't discuss sex with them; we do all the time. My oldest son has actually asked me for some advice on a relationship he was in regarding sex. He would have never put me in the position of asking me to provide him with condoms. He was smart enough to know how to get them on his own and respected me enough not to ask me.0 -
Macpatti said:Why can't we have different views without insulting each other? I've commented here and never bashed anyone else for their decision, yet those of us who said "No, we wouldn't" were pretty much land blasted.
Though she previously said:Am I the only one here shocked at how many people say they'd be "proud" of their 15 year old daughter asking for birth control because she was having sex? One person even said she felt she "would have done her job" if her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she graduates from high school. It just reminds me of the quote, "Your children will live down to your expectations".
The great thing about the internet as opposed to arguing in person? You can't pretend you didn't say something you in fact did.
I never pretended to say something I didn't. I stand behind what I said. I'm not personally insulting anyone as others have done. I'm stating my shock and dismay, not calling anyone a bad parent.0 -
That was funny that you did that, but i dont agree with it. Through discussions people can change their minds. Politicians do it all the time!Macpatti said:Why can't we have different views without insulting each other? I've commented here and never bashed anyone else for their decision, yet those of us who said "No, we wouldn't" were pretty much land blasted.
Though she previously said:Am I the only one here shocked at how many people say they'd be "proud" of their 15 year old daughter asking for birth control because she was having sex? One person even said she felt she "would have done her job" if her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she graduates from high school. It just reminds me of the quote, "Your children will live down to your expectations".
The great thing about the internet as opposed to arguing in person? You can't pretend you didn't say something you in fact did.0 -
That was funny that you did that, but i dont agree with it. Through discussions people can change their minds. Politicians do it all the time!
I completely agree. But first she'd have to say that she changed her mind. She's sticking to her story that so long as she doesn't personally address the people she's talking about she's not insulting anyone. And that being shocked and dismayed at someone isn't passing judgment on them.0 -
I liked both of these posts....Am I the only one here shocked at how many people say they'd be "proud" of their 15 year old daughter asking for birth control because she was having sex? One person even said she felt she "would have done her job" if her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she graduates from high school. It just reminds me of the quote, "Your children will live down to your expectations".
No you are not the only one. Why not put great hopes and aspirations on your kids? Why not have them focus on something other than sex?
For the record I dont think that sex is dirty or nasty. I just think 15 year olds should be studying for their drivers tests and getting excited about being a freshman rather than getting it on with their boyfried of 2 months that they totally love with all their hearts!0 -
:huh:0
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That was funny that you did that, but i dont agree with it. Through discussions people can change their minds. Politicians do it all the time!
I completely agree. But first she'd have to change her mind.
I'm confused, Brett. Where did I pretend to say something I didn't? Find me a comment in here where I called someone a bad parent or insulted someone for their choice in this discussion. I'm explaining my position and having to defend it to some who think it's bad parenting. I'm also expressing shock that I'm in the minority.0
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