cruel people
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These are all so sad
As for me, I was skinny, and then slim, for most of my life. But I started to gain when I was about 16. It was horrible. EVERYONE felt the need to mention it. Or I'd be in the canteen, eating dinner, and someone would walk up to me and be like 'CARMEN?!?!!?', just because I was eating dinner
My cousin used to mercilessly tease me about my weight, to the point I'd go home and cry my eyes out. He'd make jokes in front of his friends to embarrass me, single me out, call me a pig, fat, everything.
My ex used to call me fat as a 'joke', and I was the one who was in the wrong for being upset about it. One time, I was being affectionate with him and he called me fat girl. I didn't realise what he said and carried on being affectionate. He then said 'do you realise what I said?' I said no, and he told me. It made me cry, and then he told me I was silly for crying.
I'm sure there's other instances where my weight was a subject of cruelty, but memories evade me right now.0 -
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.
Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..0 -
My own mother used to tell me, and my boyfriends that I would bring home "Wouldnt she be so much prettier if she lost weight?" Thanks mom.0
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-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.
Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..
Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...0 -
Ive had it from all manner of people, my mum with the usual gems:
'Your sister is the pretty slim one, you, well, at least you have some brains.'
'You are fat and ugly and no one will ever want you' (i was 15 years old, with a budding eating disorder, 5"1 and weighed 90lb)
At work, a 'colleague' would constantly harp on about how i needed to diet, I was heavier then, after my 2nd child and weighing in at 135lb. her nastiness knew no boundaries, she once said to me that 'You have such a pretty face, its a shame your so fat' she also *****ed about another woman who was a bit bigger, but who was suffering from bowel cancer claiming that maybe she didn't have cancer at all as if she did 'she's be on the toilet all the time and clearly wouldn't be as fat as she was'
\like many my own personal enemy is myself, I always jump in there with self depreciating comments 'before anyone else does' and make a joke of it...0 -
My mom was the cruelest person in my life too. She would even say things in front of other people about my weight and talked about me behind my back to my own children ( which I didn't find out for years)! I hope you can move soon and get away from all the negativity. I can't imagine wanting to sabotage my own children. I would do anything for them. You have such a good attitude about it. Good luck and I hope your mom wakes up to what she is doing.0
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if someone said " I wasn't saying that to be nice" , I'm afraid my next comment would be " I'm sorry I didn't know you meant to be a b**ch." But sometimes my mouth runs away with me0
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on behalf of good guys everywhere i would sncerely like to apolagise for all the jackassery that some of my fellow gender has done to the women in this thread. im mostly referring to the women in here who have been in verbally or physically abusive relationships. im currently a single father who feels so much better about myself now that im single. for years i would be made to feel like i was unatractive and stupid by my x. at points she would hit me because i think she knew i wouldnt hit her bac so she could essentially get away with it. not saying that looking for sympathy. im a big boy and can handle getting hit but i seriously feel soooo much better about myself not that i am by myself. i saw a quote the other day that said something along the lines of, surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher. essentially that is what i have done. ive cut out as many drama filled situations as i can, people included and am so much better for it0
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My mom. When I was a teenager she asked every now and then "So how much do you weigh now?" in a tone that it was clear that she ment I had put on weight and it was not a good thing. And btw, I've never been over weight, so I don't know why she needed to make remarks of my body. Also once when I was shopping for a bra with her, she pinched a fat roll on my back. My bmi then was 24+ (under 25), so I wasn't fat, just had few jiggly bits - nothing that would danger my health. I'm still overly concious of my body and have a bit disordered body image. My mom is not the only reason, but the things she has said definitely are a contribution. It makes me feel bad that I was at the same weight I'm now when she first implied that I was getting too big. (My bmi is now under 22, so I should not be big.)0
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Growing up I had almost a constant ear infection. Because of that I found it impossible to walk in a straight line. I also would talk louder than I should because I couldn't hear very well. One day in the grocery store my sister looked at me and told me not to walk next to her because I was an embarrassment. I was so hurt, but asked why, so she told me cause I couldn't walk straight. She also told me that I talked too loud and she couldn't stand it. She also told me if I lost weight my boobs wouldn't look so bad. I have always had a bigger chest than her even at 12. I have also always been very self conscience of my chest size, and the fact the aren't identical sizes.
Then when I was 14 or so, she told me she would never let me be a part of her wedding because she didn't like me well enough. Granted she was 17 at the time, and an unwed, pregnant, high school drop out. Her best friend was an unwed, pregnant, 15 year old high school drop out, but I was the embarrassment. Don't even remember how many times I was told Angie is the pretty one. Oh and I was called a snob by her friends and their families cause I didn't want to be an unwed, pregnant, teenage, high school drop out.
When my husband and I were planning to get married, my mother insisted that my husband ask for my fathers permission to marry me. So Ben got on the phone, we were in a different state, asked my dad. He brings me the phone and my dad asked "What he actually wants to marry YOU?" I cried that night.
A couple of years ago I said I was trying to lose weight at a dinner my MIL was having for the family. Here I was expecting some support instead she came up to me put her hand on my shoulder and said "well at least you could try to quit gaining anyway". I have Rheumatoid Arthrtitis and several of the 18+ pills I take daily cause weight gain. I'm not using that ad an excuse, just saying this is a little harder for me. Even now after having lost 12 kilos, she refuses to even acknowledge that I am working hard and pushing Yosef daily.0 -
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.
Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..
Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...
Please explain the circumstances under which his behaviour is acceptable! I say, dump the *kitten*!0 -
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.
Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..
Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...
Please explain the circumstances under which his behaviour is acceptable! I say, dump the *kitten*!
Why would you want me to try and justify something like that ? It's obviously not acceptable...0 -
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words
I'm sorry...I could never talk to my wife that way. That's terrible.0 -
Definitely the kids in grade school . . . the same kids that followed me to junior high and high school. I would find ways not to go to recess. I joined orchestra, because sometimes they practiced during recess. And I started to work in the library during lunch hour. The bus was torture. Hated gym class. I was the fat, slow, inflexible, asthmatic, kid who always got picked last.
Frequently they asked me, "How much do you weigh?"
"Do you want to play with us?"
"Sure," I said.
"No, you're too fat."
They would monitor what and how much I would eat during lunch. And felt free to make comments on my wardrobe. It was a fight to sit down in a seat on the bus.
Kids are cruel. Perhaps, this is why I chose not to have any. And for those people who are all reminiscent about their childhood because it was so great . . . .whatever. The good times are now! Every year gets better!0 -
Well kids are cruel and I've been overweight most of my like so this is some stuff I remember from back in elementary and junior high. In High school people generally just stare at me so nothing specific from there. Some insults that stick out more:
The reason we all hate you is because you're so fat.
Your fatness might be contagious so go away.
Only pigs are fat, so you must be a pig.
You're so nasty! Who the %^$# (Insert the f word) would want to be with you?
You shouldn't do swimming for gym class because you'd gross people out.
I don't want to be your friend because you're fat.
You're such a fat pig.
My dad has said some mean things too.
And some people wondered why I hated school but loved learning.
This is the reason I did not go to my 10year HS reunion. They were so mean to me when we were in school but now they want to be friends because we went to the same place for 4 years NO WAY. I loved learning too also hated school.0 -
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.
Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..
Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...
And when did I STOP her from making her own decision?0 -
I was made fun of in School, my parents always knew just the right things to say to upset me about my weight.
My grandma looks at me and says I don't want you to end up like your aunt's (they are spinsters, live together with tons of animals and are both over 300lbs)
Recently my sister and I were swimming she looked at me and laughed "You have no boobs" they are the first thing I lose. So even when I'm losing weight I can't win I still get made fun of 0 -
on behalf of good guys everywhere i would sncerely like to apolagise for all the jackassery that some of my fellow gender has done to the women in this thread. im mostly referring to the women in here who have been in verbally or physically abusive relationships. im currently a single father who feels so much better about myself now that im single. for years i would be made to feel like i was unatractive and stupid by my x. at points she would hit me because i think she knew i wouldnt hit her bac so she could essentially get away with it. not saying that looking for sympathy. im a big boy and can handle getting hit but i seriously feel soooo much better about myself not that i am by myself. i saw a quote the other day that said something along the lines of, surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher. essentially that is what i have done. ive cut out as many drama filled situations as i can, people included and am so much better for it
You don't need to defend yourself, be apologetic or say you're not looking for sympathy. It's not only men who abuse, it's people, and that includes women too. LOTS of women are just as abusive as men, it just doesn't get reported as often or taken as seriously. There is no shame in being a victim of abuse by a woman. I'm happy for you that you're out of it
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As an adult no one has ever been cruel to me regarding my weight. The most cruel person I know would be my biological father. At about 105 maybe 110 lbs i recall him calling me a cow having gained a couple and i mean a literal couple of lbs. i was maybe 15 at the time.
I'm now 28 and a bad chick so no one steps out of their face to say spit to me because I do and will check them.0 -
I've been teased all my life.
-Cousin would call me an elephant and now he's bigger than me and his wife is bigger than me too.
-My sister used to be thin and one time her friend went over to the house and said that I was growing up so fast and my sister said yeah she's growing and acted like her stomach was big. Now she is overweight and struggling to lose weght.
-Aunt would go to my house when I was little and tell me that I was dirty and needed to shower. I'd tell her that I had just showered and she would say that I was still dirty and she would pull my hair. Now she loves me to death and doesn't let anyone mess with me.
-Grandma used to call me fat and that I needed to stop eating and be more like my cousin, she was the same age as me, and be thin. She passed away but I still love her.
-Uncle used to tell me that my teeth were little because I ate so much and that my cousins, same cousin from above, teeth were big because she didn't eat enough. Last time I saw him he was very very big.
-School kids used to call me fat, ugly, that no one wanted me, that I ate too much, I shouldn't be running, I shouldn't attempt to play sports, that I would cause earthquakes and such cruel things. I couldn't handle it so I would ditch school all day about 3 times a week and then I was home schooled senior year. Most of those people are in jail, overweight, ugly or just straight of who*es.
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.
Please tell me your not still with your husband! You deserve to be treated so much better than that! No man should ever say those words to you!
My mom's ex called her fat after she gained some weight and her reply was "well you can fix fat but you're out of luck because you can't fix ugly!" It shows that he was an ugly person inside and she could do better than him.0 -
Some old lady at the grocery store told me I had chicken ankles and needed to put some meat on me when I was skinnier. Should never have listened haha!0
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I don't know how cruel it was but my daughter said I'm 'half the size I was' . I weigh 165- HOW big does she think I was?0
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My parents drilled it into my head when i was young that fat is bad, well im fat so i guess im bad
On a happier note i have great friends and a wonderful husband0 -
My own mother? Does that count? She's so nice to me in front of other people, but if/when we are alone, she's nasty.
She's overweight herself and it is EATING her up inside that I am losing weight (through a lot of hard work). She does everything she can to sabotage me, but if someone is around she's all "doesn't Monique look great?". I sweat a lot when I workout, and just in general if I get hot. I guess it's a mild form of hyperhydrosis. She told me as a teen (age 12), that I sweat because I'm fat. Ya, sorry mom, not the case because years later I was super thin and fit and guess what?!? I sweat. The other day I said "my pants are falling down, I need new jeans", she said " oh, give your old ones to your sister, oh.. no wait... she's thinner than you. Nevermind". That's not even the half of the things she says on a daily basis. She steals 100 cal snacks that I painstakingly put into little baggies so that my portions are all evened out, she throws tantrums if I don't eat her 1000 cal lasagna for supper (I happily make my own little omelet, I've never asked her to change for me), and she offers me cake, pie, apple crisp, muffins, chocolate you NAME it, several times a day. This is all after we had a HUGE talk about my goals, my needs, my health concerns... none of it sinks in. I was eating popcorn the other evening and she said "How are you hungry, you eat so much". (bite my tongue, bite my tongue... thinking, and I burn at least 400 cals off EVERY day through exercize)
OK, my vent is over, but my mother made me feel very ugly and fat for most of my life. That felt good, thanks for asking. Now, back at ya! You answer!
I would totally limit my time with her. I know it's tough because it is your mother - but regardless no one deserves to be treated like this.0 -
The children that I work with have often asked me if I "have a baby in there" because I carry my weight around my mid-section. If you want brutal honesty, ask a child
My dad often asks me why I'm bothering to lose weight, because "You'll just end up like your aunt, grandmother, and cousins anyway." My aunt is over 400lbs, my grandma every bit of 300lbs, and my cousins are all 300+lbs (adult cousins, not the ones around my age and younger). He doesn't realize that I am losing weight BECAUSE I don't want to be the 400lb-er.
Thankfully, my mom is 100% supportive, and even considering starting on MFP herself.0 -
I had an EX *repeat, EX!!* boyfriend who used to do the same thing to me on a regular basis, throughout the day, every day. He would also talk all the time about his super-bony ex girlfriends and how he wished he could feel bones on me instead of me being a chunker. Well *kitten* him! I lost 60 pounds and kept it off, even while fighting Lyme Disease that made me bedridden for over a year at one point! Now he has no job, is homeless, and has a baby that he doesn't pay child support for. All he ever wanted from me was to pop out a kid for him (at 18!!) and leech off of me and my family. This is the same guy I let pay 25 bucks a week as car payments for a car I bought him.. Which I later repossessed because he didn't make payments. When I got the car back after filing all the necessary reports, I opened the trunk to find $7,000 worth of my things and my parents things that he had stolen from us.0
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My own mother? Does that count? She's so nice to me in front of other people, but if/when we are alone, she's nasty.
She's overweight herself and it is EATING her up inside that I am losing weight (through a lot of hard work). She does everything she can to sabotage me, but if someone is around she's all "doesn't Monique look great?". I sweat a lot when I workout, and just in general if I get hot. I guess it's a mild form of hyperhydrosis. She told me as a teen (age 12), that I sweat because I'm fat. Ya, sorry mom, not the case because years later I was super thin and fit and guess what?!? I sweat. The other day I said "my pants are falling down, I need new jeans", she said " oh, give your old ones to your sister, oh.. no wait... she's thinner than you. Nevermind". That's not even the half of the things she says on a daily basis. She steals 100 cal snacks that I painstakingly put into little baggies so that my portions are all evened out, she throws tantrums if I don't eat her 1000 cal lasagna for supper (I happily make my own little omelet, I've never asked her to change for me), and she offers me cake, pie, apple crisp, muffins, chocolate you NAME it, several times a day. This is all after we had a HUGE talk about my goals, my needs, my health concerns... none of it sinks in. I was eating popcorn the other evening and she said "How are you hungry, you eat so much". (bite my tongue, bite my tongue... thinking, and I burn at least 400 cals off EVERY day through exercize)
OK, my vent is over, but my mother made me feel very ugly and fat for most of my life. That felt good, thanks for asking. Now, back at ya! You answer!
She is your Mom AND that doesn't make her right, kind or give unconditional love. (from experience) Keep on keeping on. {{{HUGS}}}0 -
the cruelest person in my life has been the person in the mirror.
No one has said more mean things to me than myself.
That's been the hardest thing in this journey- UNfriending THAT person.
Totally agree and sometimes it comes back for me.
Ditto.0 -
Holy smokes! People can be such *kitten*. I am so sorry that people have been so cruel to everybody. I have a neurological disease that results in tumors all over my body. I have been told by family members that it looks bad when I wanted to wear certain things. A couple of medical people could barely contain their revulsion when they saw me. A couple of former friends told me they would hàve killed themselves if they had neurofibromatosis like me and some guy said I should have been put to death at birth. These negative and ignorant opinions do not matter to me because I know I am basically a good person on the inside. Those people uttering them have some insecurities going on that they try to tear somebody down to make their own selves feel better.0
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My fiance's co-workers have told him "she'd be hot if she'd lose some weight"0
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