Confused about a GUY!

kk0223

lol Silly subject, huh?

But, I'm curious and want opinions.

I am friends with a guy that I have only known for about 4-5 months. He says he doesn't "like me like that".

BUT, since we met it's been pretty touchy-feely and sweet. We hang out a lot and when we do there is a lot of hugging, kissing, etc. But, he doesn't want more than friendship and doesn't "like me, like me".

I stay all night with him sometimes and he treats me just like a "girlfriend" and I have mentioned to him that I don't understand how he can be so sweet and "boyfriend" like but not like me like that. He said "I'm sorry if I confuse you".

We have went back and forth with stopping the affection and starting it back up. I do like him but finally realized I have to back off some and see how he acts. That was about 2 weeks ago and he did what any man would probably do. He recognized that I was backing away from him and he became "lovey dovey" again. I didn't go to his house or message him or anything for almost 2 weeks and when I did finally go to his house he admitted he missed me.

What does all of this mean? He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship. I get the feeling he likes me but apparently something is missing. Idk.

He also asked me this past Friday if I have messed around with any other guys since we met in August. I told him no, cause I haven't and asked him the same question about girls. He said no cause he hasn't found anyone he wants to be committed to. But, he is affectionate with me? A "friend" he doesn't "like, like"????

I'm so confused.

-HELP!

ivykivy

He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.

Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only. Some people go to Sams Club to fill up on the treats they really don't intend to by anything. So if you want to be bought don't waste your treats on him . I don't mean it in a mean way, I just saying. Sorry if it comes off that way.

My cousin put this on facebook. I thought it was interesting.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

La_Amazona

Have you read He's Just Not Into You??

It will answer all your questions.

This is simple. He's doing what you're letting him do. He doesn't like you "like that". When he says that, believe him. I hate when guys do the whole confusion thing, so I completely understand what you're saying. But bottom line is, if he DID like you and was truly confused, he'd tell you that. But he flat out says that he doesn't.

So he's going to do what you let him do. He's going to keep treating you that way because you're letting him. It's easy, he gets the benefits without committment!
And the statement he made about not messing around with other girls because there's nobody he wants to committ to? Well guess what? There will be somebody that comes along sooner or later, he's going to end up dropping you and you're going to be hurt. He's waiting (because he can, because you're letting him) on something "better".

Stop before you get hurt! Read the book if you haven't too.

You want to be the exception but you're most likely not. I know this sounds mean (haha) but this is the story we women go through all the time and about 95% of the time, the results are the same- we get hurt.

Save yourself some pain, stop and move on!!

kk0223

I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. Thanks! I'll look at link!

TriumphNow

He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.

Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only.

I agree. He's answering you but you don't like the answer. Believe him and if you want more than he is willing to give, you have to let it go. It may sound harsh but it's true.

kk0223

Hmm, I'm glad I posted this question. Newaustinite, that helps a lot. I guess I should "believe him".

You all know how how we want what we can't have and chase after it until we get it then drop it. lol I guess I'm doing the "chase" in a way.

I'm not sure I'd commit to him if I had the chance. I just enjoy the attention while I'm not ready for a relationship.

I will back off and just be friends. Men can be so harsh. UGH.

Thanks.

KenziesMomma11

I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. Thanks! I'll look at link!

are you only hugging/kissing/cuddling?
if you are doing more, its because of that. he is getting what he wants without commitment. men are pigs. LOL

TheRoadDog

He's looking for something else, but he's stringing you along until she shows up.

You shouldn't be okay with that. I doubt you can back off and "just be friends". I would suggest severing the friendship. When he meets a girl, he will. She'll ask him to.

kk0223

No sex. Just hugging, kissing, cuddling and a little fooling around here and there. But, no sex.

I have the mind set of..

If I back off, he might realize he likes me but if he doesn't realize then it's his loss. I am just friends with him and I can stop the affection and just be friends.

Guess I should go ahead and do that while it's still early in the friendship before it becomes awkward and I lose the friendship as well as the affection.

TheRoadDog

I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. Thanks! I'll look at link!

are you only hugging/kissing/cuddling?
if you are doing more, its because of that. he is getting what he wants without commitment. men are pigs. LOL

Men are Pigs??

KimmieBrie

I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. Thanks! I'll look at link!

But you're wondering... looking for answers you aren't getting and getting all insightful into things that you'll probably never understand, which means maybe you do want more. When he says he doesn't want to commit to anyone - that means you.

I stopped trying to figure men out ages ago. I don't even understand my husband at times and that's partly what's kept me crazy in love with him - the unexpected (not in a bad way). If you really don't want more from this man just be happy being friends - but draw some lines so it isn't confusing to you anymore and free yourself to find what you want somewhere else.

kk0223

He's looking for something else, but he's stringing you along until she shows up.

You shouldn't be okay with that. I doubt you can back off and "just be friends". I would suggest severing the friendship. When he meets a girl, he will. She'll ask him to.

The first thing you said about looking for something else but stringing me along until he does makes so much sense.

Blah, screw him. Thanks.

KenziesMomma11

No sex. Just hugging, kissing, cuddling and a little fooling around here and there. But, no sex.

I have the mind set of..

If I back off, he might realize he likes me but if he doesn't realize then it's his loss. I am just friends with him and I can stop the affection and just be friends.

Guess I should go ahead and do that while it's still early in the friendship before it becomes awkward and I lose the friendship as well as the affection.

are you touching nono spots? if he is getting gratification from you, he will keep you around until he finds someone who he likes & gives him gratification.

ItsCasey

Honey, get rid of this *kitten*. When a guy says "I just want to be friends" while feeling you up, it's because he thinks/hopes you're an idiot.

P.S. Men are not pigs. Men do not behave the way this guy is behaving.

kk0223

I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. Thanks! I'll look at link!

But you're wondering... looking for answers you aren't getting and getting all insightful into things that you'll probably never understand, which means maybe you do want more. When he says he doesn't want to commit to anyone - that means you.

I stopped trying to figure men out ages ago. I don't even understand my husband at times and that's partly what's kept me crazy in love with him - the unexpected (not in a bad way). If you really don't want more from this man just be happy being friends - but draw some lines so it isn't confusing to you anymore and free yourself to find what you want somewhere else.

Great advice! Hmm, the "he doesn't want to commit to anyone-that means you" comment made my eyes pop out. lol Makes SO MUCH SENSE.

KenziesMomma11

I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. Thanks! I'll look at link!

are you only hugging/kissing/cuddling?
if you are doing more, its because of that. he is getting what he wants without commitment. men are pigs. LOL

Men are Pigs??

you forgot about the LOL afterward i am married to a man. he is not a pig. i dont truly believe this. was just a LOL

Carl01

He sounds like he is more trouble then he is worth.

kk0223

Yeah, you all are a lot of help and have made me realize that fast. He is using me and its kind of unnecessary.

I will stay friends with him but back off of everything else.

Thanks, ladies

I love this website.

kk0223

He sounds like he is more trouble then he is worth.

He is..you're right. I guess if I have to question something so much-it may not be worth it.

KyleB65

If you are not moving forwards you are moving backwards.
Stay "friends" with him if you want but start moving on with your life.
By hanging out with this guy and having it lead no where you are also sending out the message to anyone who might want to come up and say hello that you are in a relationship.
Figure out what you want/need and look for that. Let this guy figure out his life on his own.
Best of luck!

KenziesMomma11

He sounds like he is more trouble then he is worth.

He is..you're right. I guess if I have to question something so much-it may not be worth it.

I'm glad you have realized this. Forget him. You are worth so much more than him.