Confused about a GUY!

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  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    *sigh* men. :wink:
  • SharadaRose
    SharadaRose Posts: 69
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    I'm not necessarily "looking" for a relationship. I like the affection and his friendship and if he stays friends, that's fine. It's more happens, that's fine.

    I just don't understand his actions. He acts like a bf but says he doesn't like me like that? How can someone act that way all of the time but not like the person?

    I don't take what you're saying mean or anything. I wouldn't ask if didn't want honest opinions. :) Thanks! I'll look at link!

    are you only hugging/kissing/cuddling?
    if you are doing more, its because of that. he is getting what he wants without commitment. men are pigs. LOL

    Men are Pigs??

    Not all men are pigs but there are some real swine out there.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Not all men are pigs but there are some real swine out there.
    [/quote]

    True and I someone how find them. I have the crappiest luck with guys. I'm not easy or anything like that. I actually respect myself and dont' do things with guys unless I'm committed. I guess I wanted more with this guy and thought it may happen? But, obviously it won't. So, I'm cutting off things with him other than friendship.

    I told one of my friends one day that it's like all guys see "*kitten*" flashing on my forehead cause all guys I talk to seem to want one thing and if they dont' get it they don't talk to me anymore. She said all women have "*kitten*" flashing on their forehead to all men until they woman proves that man wrong. Made sense.

    I personally think that it's best I worry about myself for awhile. I actually enjoy single life. I'm trying to lose weight, buy a house, etc. So, I'm okay without him.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    Him and his Mom actually live together cause she is ill and can't work and he helps take care of her but I hang out over there a lot and they way he talks to her and does everything for her-scary. I love his Mom. Don't get me wrong, but she babies this man. Cooks, cleans, etc. He doesn't do much around the house. Hmm, red flag.

    So she's the sick one, and SHE is the one cooking and cleaning? How exactly is he helping her? He's mooching maid service from his sick mom and mooching make out sessions from you...
    I say kick him out and be his mom's roommate. Lol you'd both be better off.
  • StrengthIsBeautiful
    StrengthIsBeautiful Posts: 309 Member
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    My best guess is that this guy has yet to 'come out'. It doesn't sound like he's leading you on, he sounds like he's being honest about the way he feels.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Him and his Mom actually live together cause she is ill and can't work and he helps take care of her but I hang out over there a lot and they way he talks to her and does everything for her-scary. I love his Mom. Don't get me wrong, but she babies this man. Cooks, cleans, etc. He doesn't do much around the house. Hmm, red flag.

    So she's the sick one, and SHE is the one cooking and cleaning? How exactly is he helping her? He's mooching maid service from his sick mom and mooching make out sessions from you...
    I say kick him out and be his mom's roommate. Lol you'd both be better off.

    LMBO! When you put it that way! lol Yeah, she's not able to work so he helps money wise. She babies him and he lets her. He works, etc but doesn't do a whole lot around the house.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    My best guess is that this guy has yet to 'come out'. It doesn't sound like he's leading you on, he sounds like he's being honest about the way he feels.

    I don't think he's leading me on at all. I know he isn't wanting to commit or as someone said above...doesn't want to commit with ME.

    Just some of the things he says and does confuse me but it's all cleared up now! :)
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    He could be screwing you, saying he's committed but really isn't.

    I give the guy credit for not having sex and stating the reason why is because he doesn't want commitment.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    He could be screwing you, saying he's committed but really isn't.

    I give the guy credit for not having sex and stating the reason why is because he doesn't want commitment.

    True, but, if he wants to be a "real man" he needs to just quit all affection with me! Don't use me. I'm better than that. I'm actually a decent, good, girl. He'd be lucky to have me. Not to be stuck up but I am one of the good ones out there.

    He said this past Friday "I've actually missed you lately and it's conflicted". LOL Damn. I mean, he didn't see me for 2 weeks and missed me which was sweet or whatever but to finish that sentence off with telling me that he missed me is an issue, problem, what have you. Jeez.

    He's no good for me.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Read "he's just not that into you." If he says that he's not into you like that, he's not into you like that he just likes the attention. It's not that complicated. Affection feels good, it's an ego booster and he's just using you to stroke his.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Read "he's just not that into you." If he says that he's not into you like that, he's not into you like that he just likes the attention. It's not that complicated. Affection feels good, it's an ego booster and he's just using you to stroke his.

    I am going to read it. Lots of people have told me to just on this thread.

    He has told me once before "I just don't like you like that and it sucks cause you're an awesome person. I wish I could turn my feelings off and on like a switch but I can't."

    BOO!
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    Well, he does that because you let him. It's sort of a FWB light version. If you think he's not being sincire, you have to stop that activity ffrom happening. Explain that you don't feel confortable with that and set the guidelines.

    Up to now, it fault is both of your's. You can't say you didn't like the attention, even though you knew he didn't want to take it further.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.

    Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only. Some people go to Sams Club to fill up on the treats they really don't intend to by anything. So if you want to be bought don't waste your treats on him . I don't mean it in a mean way, I just saying. Sorry if it comes off that way.

    My cousin put this on facebook. I thought it was interesting.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

    damn. that article kind of chewed me up, spit me out, and then picked me up for everyone to see.

    *tail between legs. i'm going home now.
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    I'm so confused.

    -HELP!

    Let me play devils advocate for a moment. You said you were not really looking for a relationship anyway... so why not just enjoy this for what it is?!?!
    There is nothing wrong with have a "special" friend. Just saying
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    Friends with him is all that he's getting from here on out. No more than that.

    Good luck with that...
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    He shouldn't be allowed to hug you and kiss you without some kind of committment (unless you are completely okay with it...but it doesn't sound like you are).

    And honestly (with all respect to you) you are allowing him to do this because you are participating as well.

    My advice would be to communicate by asking him to commit to you or else you won't be fooling around anymore. Then, follow through. :)

    Good luck, girl!!
  • FrenchMob
    FrenchMob Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Maybe he's confused because he's gay and "trying" things out. :huh:
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Well, to be completely honest...

    I don't have a problem with the "friends with benefits" thing cause it has been a topic of conversation between us before. He just acts like its' more. He acts like a boyfriend! So, it confuses me. He doesn't act like a FRIEND with benefits.

    I guess if I do decide to stick with the FWB thing then I need to ignore his "boyfriend-like" things he does and just be a...FRIEND. I mean we go a few days at a time without even talking and it doesn't phase me. I just want the mixed signals to stop.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Friends with him is all that he's getting from here on out. No more than that.

    Good luck with that...

    Lol Easier said than done cause obviously I like the friends with benefits. I am 100%...ok 95% okay with the FWB thing. Just want mixed signals to stop and him to stop being "sweet". I don't want him to be mean but don't be so effing sweet! lol Don't do "cute" stuff that bf/gf would do. Idk. I'm just a confused mess.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.

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