Confused about a GUY!
Replies
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He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.
Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only. Some people go to Sams Club to fill up on the treats they really don't intend to by anything. So if you want to be bought don't waste your treats on him . I don't mean it in a mean way, I just saying. Sorry if it comes off that way.
My cousin put this on facebook. I thought it was interesting.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html
lmao this sam's club comparison is funny lol.
what if he says he wants something, but not ready right now, no affection/physical activity involved - 6 months of strictly friendship? hmmm0 -
this is my answer to all guy questions : MEN ARE IDIOTS lol0
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Oh! If you're cool with FWB, then I'd lay out the rules.
i.e. No asking if you are seeing anyone else & no being jealous!
lol!0 -
He wants to clap dem cheeks.0
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Caveat: I only know what you've told us so I may be way off base here. But based on what I know this is how I read it.
He likes the FWB situation. But he thinks there's someone out there better. You'll do for now, but he's also knows he's got a good thing going here and doesn't what that threatened. This is why he's asking about other guys and being "sweet".
Minute he finds someone he thinks is better...gone, and I don't mean just the benefits part.0 -
Girl if you are good with FWB, then hit it!!! Just remember, if you let your feelings get swept away while doing FWB, you will end up hurt. You have to get into the FWB mindset - like he is... no strings. And be open to the fact that this might all end when one of you finds something better.
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It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.
Well, that's just it. It's not a "booty call". We are actually friends. We hang out and we don't always mess around. That's one reason I'm kind of confused.0 -
He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.
Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only. Some people go to Sams Club to fill up on the treats they really don't intend to by anything. So if you want to be bought don't waste your treats on him . I don't mean it in a mean way, I just saying. Sorry if it comes off that way.
My cousin put this on facebook. I thought it was interesting.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html
lmao this sam's club comparison is funny lol.
what if he says he wants something, but not ready right now, no affection/physical activity involved - 6 months of strictly friendship? hmmm
Well, like I said earlier, he says hes not really ready for a relationship or to commit to anyone. Someone said it's me he's pointing that towards. So, I don't know. I really just think I should stay friends. If something happens it happens. If not, it doesn't.0 -
Oh! If you're cool with FWB, then I'd lay out the rules.
i.e. No asking if you are seeing anyone else & no being jealous!
lol!
True. BUT, he asked me! lol That's another reason I'm jealous. So many reasons! Grr! He asked me out of nowhere this past Friday if I've messed with anyone else. If you don't like me why do you care?!?!0 -
He wants to clap dem cheeks.
I love the guys responses. So short and "sweet". lol Get right down to the dirty point.0 -
Caveat: I only know what you've told us so I may be way off base here. But based on what I know this is how I read it.
He likes the FWB situation. But he thinks there's someone out there better. You'll do for now, but he's also knows he's got a good thing going here and doesn't what that threatened. This is why he's asking about other guys and being "sweet".
Minute he finds someone he thinks is better...gone, and I don't mean just the benefits part.
I hope it doesn't turn out that way.
He is friends with all of his exes. Which is good if it's possible to do that. It's hard for me personally to be friends with exes. But, I mean, you may be right. Same goes for me though. If I find someone then bye bye FWB and he can't be mad! 0 -
Girl if you are good with FWB, then hit it!!! Just remember, if you let your feelings get swept away while doing FWB, you will end up hurt. You have to get into the FWB mindset - like he is... no strings. And be open to the fact that this might all end when one of you finds something better.
Yep. I am trying that. I did like him and fall for him pretty quickly at first but then realized the hard way that it wasn't going to happen. So, I stopped talking to him for awhile. That helped me get over him. Other than friendship and messing around some. I don't talk to him daily anymore and stuff doesn't always happen when we hang out. We hang out and watch movies, chill or just talk for hours at a time at one of our houses without "sex" in mind.0 -
Ok, so I know I'm older than you and things have changed, but don't you think being in a FWB relationship decreases the chances of finding a good guy?0
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Ok, so I know I'm older than you and things have changed, but don't you think being in a FWB relationship decreases the chances of finding a good guy?
I agree. If we stopped the benefits part today I'd be okay with that. But, at the moment, I seriously don't want a man. So, I don't think I'm missing out or wasting time since I'm not ready for all of that again.0 -
It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.
Well, that's just it. It's not a "booty call". We are actually friends. We hang out and we don't always mess around. That's one reason I'm kind of confused.
I'm sure the guys will agree-- if it's good, they'll tolerate the other stuff to get it.0 -
As nice as I'm sure the lovey-dovey parts are, I think you need to tell him to knock it off. It's not fair to you if he's just playing around -- especially as you've discussed before how it makes you confused. He needs to be consistent with you one way or another.0
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Just tell him, "I've met somebody."
Then don't return his texts or calls.
If he runs into you be happy to see him, yet vague with your answers. Then check your phone, laugh at a "text" then smile, excuse yourself and run off.
It will drive him NUTS! (No one is pining for him!) You will be officially The One That Got Away!
Then, around this time next year, start over (if you'd want to). Say, "Mike/Chris was great, but I'm looking for someone better for me."
I guarantee, there will be a very different story.
Men are NOT complicated!0 -
It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.
Well, that's just it. It's not a "booty call". We are actually friends. We hang out and we don't always mess around. That's one reason I'm kind of confused.
I'm sure the guys will agree-- if it's good, they'll tolerate the other stuff to get it.
That's kind of harsh. I know you're only answering my questions and being honest. I do know we are friends either way. He wouldn't take his time to call and invite me over to just hang out or ask me over for dinner etc if there wasn't a friendship there. So, yeah, we're friends. It's not just toleration.0 -
Just tell him, "I've met somebody."
Then don't return his texts or calls.
If he runs into you be happy to see him, yet vague with your answers. Then check your phone, laugh at a "text" then smile, excuse yourself and run off.
It will drive him NUTS! (No one is pining for him!) You will be officially The One That Got Away!
Then, around this time next year, start over (if you'd want to). Say, "Mike/Chris was great, but I'm looking for someone better for me."
I guarantee, there will be a very different story.
Men are NOT complicated!
Lol. Thanks. I do wonder how he'd act if he thought I was talking to someone else. 
Hmm.. 0 -
Better yet! Actually meet somebody!
The real trick is to not answer his calls or texts, smile and be happy when you see him, always be busy, and mention another guy in passing when you do run into him.
"Jake said..." should do it.
His imagination will fill in the rest.0 -
Better yet! Actually meet somebody!
The real trick is to not answer his calls or texts, smile and be happy when you see him, always be busy, and mention another guy in passing when you do run into him.
"Jake said..." should do it.
His imagination will fill in the rest.
Lol. I love it. I am not looking for a relationship at the moment but if it happens it happens. So, I won't actually go out and find someone but that's good advice to make his mind wonder and see how he reacts to it. Thanks. 0 -
It's quite harsh to simplify a gender in such a way as saying we are not complicated. However going that route, here you go. Throw away your self-help books. Throw away psycho analysis:
Demand to be treated as you deserve. If he doesn't adhere--well they aren't for you. That goes for any personal relationship.0 -
The other trick is to give this a considerable block of time. As in NOT talk/see him!
A month for the shock value.
A second for him to react and "win" you back, gain information on the guy.
A third for him to get used to you not being around.
A fourth for you two to be "normal".
A fifth for him to think you're his equal. (He IS playing games!)
A sixth for him to pine over you.
A seventh for him to kick himself.
I personally would wait a full year for him to become an adult human being.0 -
It's quite harsh to simplify a gender in such a way as saying we are not complicated. However going that route, here you go. Throw away your self-help books. Throw away psycho analysis:
Demand to be treated as you deserve. If he doesn't adhere--well they aren't for you. That goes for any personal relationship.
Thanks I agree. I'm sure I know how he will react to that so I can go ahead and say...we will end up being just friends. Which is fine. JUST STOP THE SILLY MIND GAMES WITH ME. 0 -
It's quite harsh to simplify a gender in such a way as saying we are not complicated. However going that route, here you go. Throw away your self-help books. Throw away psycho analysis:
Demand to be treated as you deserve. If he doesn't adhere--well they aren't for you. That goes for any personal relationship.
You are right, but I didn't mean it to sound harsh. Men are way easier than women in communicating!! When a man tells me something I believe them!
A woman: "I'm fine" means "I'm not fine! Sooth me!"
A man: "I'm fine" means "I'm fine."
Nine times out of ten.0 -
The other trick is to give this a considerable block of time. As in NOT talk/see him!
A month for the shock value.
A second for him to react and "win" you back, gain information on the guy.
A third for him to get used to you not being around.
A fourth for you two to be "normal".
A fifth for him to think you're his equal. (He IS playing games!)
A sixth for him to pine over you.
A seventh for him to kick himself.
I personally would wait a full year for him to become an adult human being.
This is where the problem comes in for me. I do want to be his friend. I don't want him completely out of my life and he is a nice guy/friend. Other than head games with females.0 -
It's quite harsh to simplify a gender in such a way as saying we are not complicated. However going that route, here you go. Throw away your self-help books. Throw away psycho analysis:
Demand to be treated as you deserve. If he doesn't adhere--well they aren't for you. That goes for any personal relationship.
You are right, but I didn't mean it to sound harsh. Men are way easier than women in communicating!! When a man tells me something I believe them!
A woman: "I'm fine" means "I'm not fine! Sooth me!"
A man: "I'm fine" means "I'm fine."
Nine times out of ten.
LOL Yes, this is so true. I never say the straight out truth. One thing this guy always does is ask me what's on my mind, what am I thinking RIGHT NOW. Always curious. I always say "nothing". Knowing I'm thinking about something! lol 0 -
Better yet! Actually meet somebody!
The real trick is to not answer his calls or texts, smile and be happy when you see him, always be busy, and mention another guy in passing when you do run into him.
"Jake said..." should do it.
His imagination will fill in the rest.
Lol. I love it. I am not looking for a relationship at the moment but if it happens it happens. So, I won't actually go out and find someone but that's good advice to make his mind wonder and see how he reacts to it. Thanks.
You are not lying!
He needs to see that other men are attracted to you! That will make him want you because other men want you, want you because he "can't have you", or at least treat you like a Real Person! (not playing games).
Interesting how I'm telling you to play games to teach him to stop playing games!
Well, it works! LOL0 -
Pretend that you're not you and read your post. Better yet, pretend your daughter wrote it.
Would you advise her to continue this "relationship"? No, you wouldn't.
A man that wants to be with you will say so and act accordingly. A man who wants a warm place to put his.... "hands" will play games with you, act affectionate, stay over, and the tell you he doesn't want a relationship is just being honest. You're his Plan B until the girl he wants comes along.
Unless you are one of the minority of females that can also honestly work the Plan B strategy, you need to cut your losses. If he is really a friend, hang out in social situations but hanging out alone together will just keep you on the hook. When you're on the hook your eyes aren't open to find a guy that will give you what you're looking for.
There's no use playing games by cutting off communication with him for some random amount of time. Be a grown-up, draw your boundaries, and proceed from there. If he's really your friend you will see him socially. If you're is Plan B then you probably won't hear from him much. If he wants to be with you he will make the effort.0 -
Better yet! Actually meet somebody!
The real trick is to not answer his calls or texts, smile and be happy when you see him, always be busy, and mention another guy in passing when you do run into him.
"Jake said..." should do it.
His imagination will fill in the rest.
Lol. I love it. I am not looking for a relationship at the moment but if it happens it happens. So, I won't actually go out and find someone but that's good advice to make his mind wonder and see how he reacts to it. Thanks.
You are not lying!
He needs to see that other men are attracted to you! That will make him want you because other men want you, want you because he "can't have you", or at least treat you like a Real Person! (not playing games).
Interesting how I'm telling you to play games to teach him to stop playing games!
Well, it works! LOL
Lol My games would be different. To teach him a lesson. Not to get in his pants and screw him over if another man comes along. So, it's okay. lol 0
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