What makes a relationship work?

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  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    Sammiches!
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
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    seperate homes.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    What makes a relationship work?

    When, after being kept up all night by their various snorts and nasal assaults coupled with various kicks to random body parts, you decide to not to place a cinderblock firmly on their face or Gorilla Glue their nostrils shut. That's true love and you know, deep down, that you'll make it through any of life's tribulations.

    As cliche as it sounds, being "best friends" certainly makes life easy for us. (Oh, and the humping. Yeah.)

    Loved this one!
  • ymhand
    ymhand Posts: 188
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    Communication above all!!!

    Yes! Do not make me communicate to you what I want more than once or else....bahaha
  • G30Grrl
    G30Grrl Posts: 377 Member
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    One of the problems with the attitude that love conquers all is that people misunderstand what love actually IS. Too many people think that sexual attraction combined with a desire to spend time together, or a desire to possess/belong to another is love.

    I disagree. That isn't love. It's lust and co-dependence, the things of which unhealthy and/or abusive relationships are made.

    Real love goes much deeper. Real love is a sincere desire for the other person to have genuine deep, lasting happiness. But this isn't the worldly happiness that comes from having things we want or avoiding things we don't want. Real happiness comes only from having a sense of inner peace.

    So I personally believe that if two people are truly committed to ACTING out of love at all times, and if that love comes from a desire for the partner to have the deep, lasting happiness that comes from inner peace, their relationship has a much better chance of making it in the long term.

    But there are no guarantees. Things like ego, addiction, and inability to deal with life's twists and turns with a sense of serenity and inner peace can work against any relationship. Of course, some sort of spiritual connection, involving both people having a relationship with a higher power or a commitment to spiritual principles can also often overcome those challenges.

    Good luck to you.
  • J3SSP3NNY
    J3SSP3NNY Posts: 235
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    Simple, She wins, everytime. :smooched:

    Lol, good man!!
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Love is a verb, not a noun. You decide to love someone and make a commitment. Love, the verb, is what overcomes all because there is a decision to continue even when the feelings come and go.... and they do. Love, the noun, is what gets so many people into trouble because no relationship is perfect because imperfect people are involved.

    Short answer is that the decision to make the relationship work is what makes the relationship work.

    This. "Love" changes over time for most people. The "love" that was felt the first few years may grow and change into something else that is still "love." I kind of hate that word - I think it is overused and the use of it doesn't communicate everything behind it. I once read about an ancient language in which there were several different words for "love" - words for different people and words for different feelings that were still under the "love" type of category. I think that recognizing that people and feelings evolve over time is important, and as the poster I quoted said, making the decision that you want your relationship to work.
  • J3SSP3NNY
    J3SSP3NNY Posts: 235
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    I've been with the same lady since we were teens.
    We've been through most everything, had 5 kids and are still passionate, happy and a complete team.
    28 years married this saturday!

    Here is what works:

    1. Intimacy and attraction - SEX - if you fail here, forget it. Nothing else will work.
    2. Communication - be honest with each other about everything. No holding back, and if you can't, the relationship will either fail or digress into a union of convenience devoid of love and passion.
    3. Money - without money, love will go out the window.
    4. Common Interest - don't grow apart as two people with separate lives and desires. Stay on the same page.
    5. Space - don't smother! Guys need time away to go hunting, fishing or shooting pool, telling dirty jokes, and ladies need time out with the girls.
    6. Romance - ladies, don't stop dressing sexy, and guys, bring flowers a few times each month. Plan a date once a week.
    Have crazy sex in the car or something like that - not the same old boring thing in the same old boring room, same old boring position in the same old boring bed...SPICE IT UP!
    7. Play together - throw a ball, take a hike, ride bikes, play tennis, play cards - just play! Have fun just playing

    That's it!
    Go, and do likewise...lol

    Thank you :)
    I liked this one!
  • J3SSP3NNY
    J3SSP3NNY Posts: 235
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    Painful and humiliating submission by one of the two people in the relationship.

    LMAO :P
  • J3SSP3NNY
    J3SSP3NNY Posts: 235
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    learn how to say "I understand" even though you have no clue and all you hear is blah, blah, blah...........ROFLOL

    This is where I wonder if girls just talk too much :P
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    In your opinion what makes a relationship work? Say two people really love each other-but have lots against them...

    Does love conquer all barriers? Or does it take more?

    I am personally leaning towards both people (in love) will make anything work until they decided not to.

    Thoughts?
    :heart:

    Respect, friendship, love, communication (not necessarily in that order).
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    Security. Being secure in yourself, and your partner- along with providing the tools for your partner to feel secure.

    And many of the other things people have already mentioned ^_^
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    triple post! ah! lol
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    oops, double post!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Marriage or a committed relationship is wonderful but it is hard work too! Worth everything that goes into it. Lots against you as you say... depends. Maybe at least you know what difficulties lie ahead and can see how comfortably the two of you will "conquer all". BTW, my husband and I are married 28 and 1/2 years- I'm speaking from experience here :love:
  • CiciPorcayo
    CiciPorcayo Posts: 381 Member
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    I just really think that what makes a relationship work. is trust, honesty, love, to be caring, suportive and understanding more then anything. We are only human we make mistakes sometimes big sometimes small.. but if we do what we say we will, what we swear we will in vows... Sickness and in Health, Good and Bad, for better or for worse... til death do you part ;) definetly think thats what keeps you together...
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    being nice to each other.
  • Hambone23
    Hambone23 Posts: 486 Member
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    This is my absolute favorite quote about relationships. It was written by Anne Morrow Lindberg in Gift from the Sea:

    “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

    The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”
  • MadeInDR022
    MadeInDR022 Posts: 260
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    I just got a tattoo on my bicep that says this:

    "You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly"!

    This to me is the key to all relationships!


    Exactly!
  • Rikki444
    Rikki444 Posts: 326 Member
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    Well, this is an excellent question. A loaded one!

    Love does conquer all, but often we forget that we need to love Self first in order to love another. Chew on that.

    Perfection should never be required or expected of/from you. Ignore every romantic comedy you have ever watched.

    Men have one basic need..... that is to know that they have what it takes to be your champion.... and women have one basic need.... to know that they are lovely/beautiful..... when you satisfy this need, your relationship works.

    The goal in relationship is to provide your loved one the opportunity to be the best version that they hold of themselves not the best version you imagine they should be. You should also be provided with that opportunity.

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