did you just say i was pregnant EXSUSE YOU?

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  • gargoyle999
    gargoyle999 Posts: 117 Member
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    2 questions I'll never ask a woman. How old are you and when are you due!
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
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    Oh and the poster isn't "fat" as someone else mentioned in their reply. Like lots of us who have babies she's probably found it harder to shift weight from that middle area, which let's face it get's somewhat stretched and those of us who have had c-sections are left with a more difficult area to shift. I am only about a stone over what I want to be, and my BMI is well within the healthy range but I still look preggy on a bad day. To be honest, even if I lose that last stone, I reckon it will still be debatable on days when I am a bit bloated.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I had seen a co-worker once ask a woman when her baby was due.. and the girl looked her in the eye and said she was not pregnant... I do not know who actually felt worse... the girl who asked or the girl who was not pregnant!

    So I learned never to ask.... but it does present itself as a tricky matter on the Subway. I will always give up my seat to a person who is disabled (Cane, noticeable limp, missing leg...etc) or pregnant women. Some times it is a close call, see a girl in her 20's with a little bump... I don't want to give up my seat just because she is pudgy and had a big lunch today!
  • tuneses
    tuneses Posts: 467 Member
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    I don't say anything even if the woman is painfully obviously pregnant. When I was in high school my teacher couldn't have kids and desperately wanted one. She was asked by a stranger how far along she was one day. I never seen a woman look so crushed. She was actually crying in class. That's when I decided that if pregnant woman want to talk about their pregnancy they can bring it up.
  • xginanax
    xginanax Posts: 333 Member
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    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

    My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

    Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

    Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)


    THANK U !! I Was about to say the exact same thing! :)
  • Kathy_Noring
    Kathy_Noring Posts: 143 Member
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    Well.... maybe that should tell you something...? Yes, I said it.


    Generally people are happy & excited about babies, so they're trying to share the enthusiasm that you'd have if you were.

    Really? Because in my experience people who say that are being busy-body jerks. How is it acceptable to go up to a woman and ask that? Is it also acceptable to go up to a woman and say, "Jesus, you are FAT!"? Argh.
  • lizgreenhill
    lizgreenhill Posts: 185
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    yea that actually happended to me a few times last year i gained 60lbs in a year and everyone assumed i was pregnant i was super upset that people would be rude enough to even ask. the time i was acutally pregnant ( i was 115lbs when i first got pregnant) and i gained 30lbs in a couple months and a few people thought i was fat because i gained so much weight so quickly i heard a lot of rude comments about that
  • BrandyontheRun
    BrandyontheRun Posts: 204 Member
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    While I was volunteering a couple years ago with 7th and 8th grade youth, one of them asked me if I was pregnant... Right in front of the other volunteers!! I was so embarrased..!! and she was just a kid really, so she didn't mean anything by it but omgosh...!
  • julietsingleton
    julietsingleton Posts: 126 Member
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    I had my mother in law ask "when's it due?" when she knew full well i could not be pregnant because my husband has had "the snip"! I was so angry with her because when i lost 3 stone, she didn't say a word, but when i had put a little bit back on, she felt the need to be a COW!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I had my mother in law ask "when's it due?" when she knew full well i could not be pregnant because my husband has had "the snip"! I was so angry with her because when i lost 3 stone, she didn't say a word, but when i had put a little bit back on, she felt the need to be a COW!

    You could actually get pregnant after that. I have a cousin whose mom's tubes were tied and daddy was snipped. It can still happen.
  • plainjoe81
    plainjoe81 Posts: 53 Member
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    My wife did that to a girl at a high school reunion once, she felt horrible about saying it. In her defense though, the style of shirt the former classmate was wearing looked like a maternity shirt and really was the inspiration for the question. Is there any chance you were wearing the same shirt, or style of shirt each time you were asked this question?
  • wildhehr2
    wildhehr2 Posts: 122 Member
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    I've been asked several times when I was due, and never when I was pregnant. It's humiliating. I know I'm fat. I'm working on it...but once you've had kids, it's really tough to lose the gut. Still working on it....but it's still rude to be asked.
  • tonid2011
    tonid2011 Posts: 6
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    I'm sorry you had to experience this - I've been there.

    In my instance I was with a then boyfriend at a restaurant & the waitress was clearly flirting with him - that doesn't typically bother me and maybe she could sense her playfullness had no effect on me so she dug a little deeper ... shifted her attention to me & asked how far along I was.

    Before I could even respond the then boyfriend had blurted out... "Oh, she's not pregnant, that's just how she looks."

    My guess is that the ending to this story is pretty obvious.
  • shydaisi
    shydaisi Posts: 833 Member
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    My mom said something once to someone who she thought looked obviously pregnant (like due within a month or so), and, come to find out, she had just had a still birth that week at 38 weeks. My mom has never, ever said anything to anyone else since unless they made a comment first. She shared the story with me when I was in my late teens and for that reason have always followed the same philosophy.

    I have never been asked, but I have been worried before that someone would ask. I would have been mortified.
  • julietsingleton
    julietsingleton Posts: 126 Member
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    He had it done about 6 years ago! I would have thought it would have happened by now if it was going to!
  • julietsingleton
    julietsingleton Posts: 126 Member
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    I had my mother in law ask "when's it due?" when she knew full well i could not be pregnant because my husband has had "the snip"! I was so angry with her because when i lost 3 stone, she didn't say a word, but when i had put a little bit back on, she felt the need to be a COW!

    You could actually get pregnant after that. I have a cousin whose mom's tubes were tied and daddy was snipped. It can still happen.

    He had it done about 6 years ago! I would have thought it would have happened by now if it was going to!
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    Even if you were pregnant, it's still rude. I don't see how it's any random stranger's business.

    ^This. It's like people lose brain matter when they see a pregnant woman (or a woman they think is pregnant). Nut jobs come out of the woodworks and rub your belly like you're Buddha, etc. I even had one woman randomly ask if I would LIFT MY SHIRT for her to see my belly. wtf really?

    Kind of goes along the lines with people saying, "So when are you guys gonna have a baby?" or "When are you going to have another?" You NEVER know if someone is TTC and can't.
  • keiraev
    keiraev Posts: 695 Member
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    Oh yeh been there a couple of times at work- one occasion my belly wasn't even sticking out it was the way my jumper was sat! Comments like that just spurred me on to lose the weight to be honest- but you're right its damned rude I can't even IMAGINE even saying that to someone especially someone I didn't even know!
  • trlyblssd79
    trlyblssd79 Posts: 101 Member
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    I knew I had to do something when I went to work ( I work at a daycare) and one of the children asked me if I had a baby in my tummy : /
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly...

    It is never a random person's business whether or not I am pregnant.

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