Coworkers are sabatoging me

stevwil41

Out of curiosity, can you honestly say your coworkers weren't like this before you started eating healthier? If you can, then yes, they are being jerks. Otherwise, you're probably more aware of what's being offerred than you used to be.

Dieting/eating healthy (whatever you want to call it) is a personal choice and it's unrealistic to expect everyone else to change their habits because you're changing yours. Short of you forcefully and rudely telling your coworkers to leave you alone they're probably going to keep doing what they've always done. It kind of sucks but it's human nature.

My suggestion would be if you want the treat, take it and have a bite. If you don't want it, a "thanks but no thanks" or a "I'm full but I'll try it later" should suffice. Short of them holding you down and force-feeding you it's ultimately your choice what you eat and if you hope to sustain a healthier lifestyle long term then you're going to have to make similiar food decisions for the rest of your life.

Good luck.

CherylR165

Just to clarify for some of the posters who don't think your co-workers are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts, here is the definition:

Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

Granted, this is the holiday season and people do like to bring in treats to share, but if your desire to maintain your diet has been expressed and it is known to everyone, what else would you call trying to force someone to accept your food gift? I turn down food all the time at work. The people accept my response and keep it moving, but to leave food anyway on the person's desk is just mean-spirited and childish. These people are not your friends, but then again you didn't reference them as such. Going forward, I think the brown paper bag would be a great suggestion. Just make sure someone SEES you putting it in the trash, so they will get the message. You must be looking really good for them to go to all this trouble. LOL.

I promise you, "grown" people are worst than children sometimes.

jao99

you can just take the food home with you and throw it away later! or you can just give it to somebody else

PJilly

I chimed in on this earlier, but I wanted to add something. I've had better luck getting people to stop pushing food by not mentioning dieting at all. I start with "No, thank you." And then if someone pushes or questions why, I'll say "Because I really don't want it." It's hard to push food on someone who has flat out said they don't want it. If you just say you "shouldn't" have it, they may think they can talk you into it, because deep down inside, you really want it.

Debbe2

I would probably just bring in a pretty jar or container and start to collect the food in it saying "Thank you! I'm collecting the food in here so I can enjoy it later" to the sharing co workers. Then would bring the bag home to give to a family member or friend who would enjoy it and telling them how much they are helping me out with my goals while they can enjoy the food. Or you can donate it to a church, food bank etc.

It's a great time of year but there is a lot of temptation too :flowerforyou:

TheFitHooker

No one has sabotaged you, the only way anyone can make you eat anything is if they hold you down, pry your mouth open and shove it down your throat. You have the choice to eat it or not.

My husband brought the family out to McDonalds the other night while we were doing Christmas shopping, no one made me eat there, no one made me eat a big mac and fries, nope I had a snack wrap, not my first choice, and not something I ever really care if I eat again, I make my mind up on what I put in my belly. So do you. If you don't want to eat it, then don't eat it. No one can make you say no, you have to tell yourself to say no. It's a little thing called Will power. No they should respect you and not put the stuff on your desk, but if they do, dump it out, you don't have to eat nothing you don't want to eat, obviously you wanted to eat it if you ate it.

I didn't eat it.

If you didn't eat it, then no one sabotaged you.

cheshirechic

I confess that I haven't read all of the posts. But this is what I would do:

I would say "Thanks!!! I'll get to it later." And then just leave it on my desk. OR, I would say "Thanks for the offer, but I'm saving up for Xmas/New Years Eve/Etc.!" At our big holiday party after work, I brought an apple to eat since I'd already had lunch. Some gave me looks, and I still obligatorily brought stuff to share, but I didn't partake. Also, when a coworker offered me a donut, I told her that "I'd rather cry myself to sleep." Harsh, but a little self-deprecating humor (for me at least) goes a long way

Let them know you're preoccupied with actually doing your job and not being a food pusher, like everyone else.

This makes me sound like a complete jerk (especially to my coworkers), but I usually default to declining gracefully before using any of the other above "tactics." Best of luck, and know you're definitely not the only one struggling!

fionarama

I think they have sat there too long watching you eat all of this food, so don't really believe in you when you say you seriously wish to change. Its up to you, isn't it? If you want them to believe you, believe in yourself, and refuse the food politely. If they really shove it on you, for instance leaving it on your desk - easy - if you're serious - bin it. Blatantly. Because you don't want it.
If you end up wanting it they just think see, that fat girl, she won't last on her diet.
Prove them wrong. and take responsibility. I never eat that kind of food really,even around this time of the year, and really no one would even bother offering it to me because they know I"ll just say no. So if you say no and mean it, often enough, they'll get the message.
don't tell them you're on a diet. you're on a lifestyle change. It needs no justification. Diet insinuates that one day you'll start saying yes to it all the time, and you never will, will you?

IronmanPanda

Just to clarify for some of the posters who don't think your co-workers are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts, here is the definition:

Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

Granted, this is the holiday season and people do like to bring in treats to share, but if your desire to maintain your diet has been expressed and it is known to everyone, what else would you call trying to force someone to accept your food gift? I turn down food all the time at work. The people accept my response and keep it moving, but to leave food anyway on the person's desk is just mean-spirited and childish. These people are not your friends, but then again you didn't reference them as such. Going forward, I think the brown paper bag would be a great suggestion. Just make sure someone SEES you putting it in the trash, so they will get the message. You must be looking really good for them to go to all this trouble. LOL.

I promise you, "grown" people are worst than children sometimes.

Yeah... you're right.

Your coworkers have nothing better to do then go home and think of ways to make you fat.
I know when I go home I spend at least 4-5 hours thinking about my coworkers and how to make their lives miserable because my life is so empty that's all I have to think about. My first thought every night as I'm leaving work is, "Gee, let me spend X amount of hours and X amount of dollars just so I can make so-and-so fat."

See how ridiculous that sounds? Are you even listening to yourself? No one is out to get you/her. Your coworkers really don't think about you after they leave work. By your rationale every person who works with the OP... every person in that office has nothing better to do than think about ways to screw her over. Yeah, that sounds realistic.

Come on now...

LJV1031

I have coworkers who are JUST like yours. I will usually say no to most things but if "no" isn't readily accepted I may take it and say I'm going to eat it after I _______ (wash my hands, see a patient, eat my dinner, etc etc etc). If it is something that I MAY want I'll keep it and eat it if I can fit it into my plan, if it is something that I don't want, I dump it in the SECOND nearest trash can... usually wrapped in tissue. I'm sure they aren't being malicious but in a way are sabotaging your weight loss since you've expressed to them that you are trying to lose weight. You've received lots of good options here, so I hope you find one that works for you. Just remember, you're strong enough to overcome the weight AND the holidays.

My favorite options you recieved :
1. Put everything that they give you into a paper bag, then make it noticed that you toss it in the trash. (Harsh, but effective).
2. Put it in a box and donate it.
3. Toss it when no one is looking, just be discrete.

(Didn't read everything, I'm sure there are some more good ones)

SueGremlin

I have a coworker who will not take no for an answer. If you say "No thank you", he will stand there, arm outstretched with the offending brownie in his hand and stare at you. If I repeat it, he'll say "come come! It's good!" (maybe it's cultural, he's Dutch).
It took me a long time to learn that I have to insist and say "thank you" and just not take the bait. I have explained to him several times that it is extremely important that I have complete control over what goes into my mouth, and what he assumes is "just a little bite" messes with this control. He doesn't get it. Never will. (he weights 150 lbs soaking wet). He thinks I am an uptight American.
It is human nature, or perhaps mine, to be compliant. But I risk offending him as much as he offends me and I just refuse. If he keeps insisting, I take it and set it aside.

I think it is extremely rude to continue to insist when the person says "no thank you". But there are rude people in the world, that's just the way it is. You can't control them, but you can control the way you react to them.

kimtpa1417

This happens at my job all the time. Friday it was a girls bday and they brought her cake. When she offered me a piece I said I would love one but will pass. If they leave it on your desk after saying no just toss it and if they get upset let them know how you feel. Its nice they at least offer to you and I dont believe they are sabatoaging you. Only you have that control.

TourThePast

If you want to be polite and yet turn the tables in a funny way, Say "hey thanks but I'm on a strict dietary regimen so by next year I will be as HOT AS YOU, and this just isn't in that plan!" They will probably be speechless and yet you made their day as well! Lee #NoexcusesLetsgo

That's brilliant, it doesn't offend anyone and gets the point across. In some ways it's far easier to refuse food from slim people.

Can't use that line now I'm at target weight, saying to my colleagues (who are overweight and who do offer me far more sweet crap than is healthy) "Hey thanks but I'm on a strict dietary regimen so by next year I won't be as FAT AS YOU" would be grossly offensive! :bigsmile:

nwadyag

I think you're right about people wanting you to eat it to make themselves feel better about eating it.

But also, some people express their feelings through food and find it hurtful when you say no to them. Its almost like you're rejecting them, not the food. In that case, I always "gushingly" make sure I tell them how wonderful it looks and how much I really wish I could eat some, and this usually works.

HonkyTonks

Just to clarify for some of the posters who don't think your co-workers are trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts, here is the definition:

Sabotage is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.

Granted, this is the holiday season and people do like to bring in treats to share, but if your desire to maintain your diet has been expressed and it is known to everyone, what else would you call trying to force someone to accept your food gift? I turn down food all the time at work. The people accept my response and keep it moving, but to leave food anyway on the person's desk is just mean-spirited and childish. These people are not your friends, but then again you didn't reference them as such. Going forward, I think the brown paper bag would be a great suggestion. Just make sure someone SEES you putting it in the trash, so they will get the message. You must be looking really good for them to go to all this trouble. LOL.

I promise you, "grown" people are worst than children sometimes.

Yeah... you're right.

Your coworkers have nothing better to do then go home and think of ways to make you fat.
I know when I go home I spend at least 4-5 hours thinking about my coworkers and how to make their lives miserable because my life is so empty that's all I have to think about. My first thought every night as I'm leaving work is, "Gee, let me spend X amount of hours and X amount of dollars just so I can make so-and-so fat."

See how ridiculous that sounds? Are you even listening to yourself? No one is out to get you/her. Your coworkers really don't think about you after they leave work. By your rationale every person who works with the OP... every person in that office has nothing better to do than think about ways to screw her over. Yeah, that sounds realistic.

Come on now...

Nobody has claimed that our coworkers are thinking about harming our weight loss efforts all the time - or that they focus or obsess over it at all. We are just saying that they can be deliberate about offering a person who is on a diet junk food (rather than just being nice and friendly) and that it's frustrating and rude.