Parents Please Wake Up

Marla64

holy crap this thread is still around????

Irresistible urge....

ShrinkingHollyx

Thanks. I didn't think it was either. I just don't think that someone who isn't a parent, or anyone for that matter, should judge the way other parents raise their children.

Never?

Never.

ShrinkingHollyx

BCATTOES.....are you Stacy. She bailed early, she usually sticks around and comments on everything , wouldn't miss a chance to put in her 2 sense (kind of like you). Just curious if you are one in the same?

LOL. This.

Marla64

Thanks. I didn't think it was either. I just don't think that someone who isn't a parent, or anyone for that matter, should judge the way other parents raise their children.

Never?

Never.

totally agree-- but this should be interesting........

bcattoes

BCATTOES.....are you Stacy. She bailed early, she usually sticks around and comments on everything , wouldn't miss a chance to put in her 2 sense (kind of like you). Just curious if you are one in the same?

No, I don't know the OP but I agree with much of what she said. I have personally known children whose lives were made miserable and lonely due to obesity. And I have a special needs grandson born with congenital GI problems. He is frequently hospitalized at a promient east coast (US) children's hospital. Since he is often on the GI surgery ward I have seen the children in the bariatric surgery ward and it is hearbreaking. Food can definitely be an instrument of abuse for children.

mestrydom

This really is an interesting post and I did not read all the replies (as there are quite a few pages to read through, so well done on a very active post, StacySkinny) but I would like to leave a few thoughts of my own ...

I must agree with some of the points Stacy made ... when I see a very overweight mum and dad with their equally chubby off-spring in a shopping mall each with their supersized junkfood meals and sodas, I can't help but think that it's 'criminal' of the parents to raise their kids with such a bad nutrition example -- but I hasten to say (before I get flamed!!!) -- we only see one moment in that person/family's life and may be witnessing a special treat after a week's careful calorie counting! What do we know??!!

I grew up in a very 'typical' South African home where much centered around the family dinner (or Sunday lunch) table. Mum cooked hearty food with lots of butter and/or sugar added (to veggies for example) and rich gravies with meats, roast potatoes AND white rice within the same meal WITH a sweet pumpkin dish maybe and lovely broccoli with a creamy, white cheese sauce. AND often a baked pudding would follow with thick, sweet custard or ice cream and home-made chocolate sauce. It really was yum. To my mother, 'feeding us' equated with loving us! (But we were also very active kids, so never had a weight problem) BUT, in Grade 11 I started insisting I cook my own meals which caused much upset for a while... We eventually came to an arrangement that I stay out of the kitchen when mum's preparing meals and instead pre-cook my meals and keep it frozen in the 'correct' portion sizes just to heat up come dinner time.

Fast forward to my own family ... Today I am a vegetarian, I love juicing and often have just freshly prepared vegetable juices for any specific meal and, although not fanatical about it at all, I do try to set an example with good quality food (and meat!) lots of veggies and salads and yes, more than enough treats on special occassions. Problem is ... my only daughter ( I have 4 children) is not really inclined to follow my example! She's always loved eating; LOVES junk food, chocolate, crisps ... And I'm really at a loss as to how to help her without hurting/pushing her away. She has picked up some weight and it really upsets her, but ANY help/guidance is met with considerable resistance. (She struggles with her body-image and as much as I encourage her that she is beautiful and "the little bit of weight is just hormonal changes, it will all go away", I do worry about her and really have no idea how to help my child without putting her on any kind of diet, which I'm dead against, or making her even more unhappy and eventually causing all sorts of other problems and/or disorders.)

So, the point I'm trying to make is yes, we do set an example with the way we raise our kids and the nutrition advice they get from us, but ultimately a person will make up his/her own mind about what they want to do with what they've been given.

I commend you for making that decision and creating your own reality despite your 'programming' -- and believe me, you don't have to let anything hold you back! It's never too late to turn things around for the better.

Good luck with your weight-loss efforts!!

(My apologies for being so long-winded! A complex issue though ...

seehawkmomma

No, I don't know the OP but I agree with much of what she said. I have personally known children whose lives were made miserable and lonely due to obesity. And I have a special needs grandson born with congenital GI problems. He is frequently hospitalized at a promient east coast (US) children's hospital. Since he is often on the GI surgery ward I have seen the children in the bariatric surgery ward and it is hearbreaking. Food can definitely be an instrument of abuse for children.
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Have you read every one of their chart notes? Are you fully aware that the reasons those children could be in the hospital because of gentics and not because their parents are force feeding them McDonalds? Or other reasons unknown to you? How easily you judge that situation.

Just because you went into one hospital doesnt make it true for the rest of the world.

Blasian29

I do agree that to a certain point parents are responsible for what their kids eat. I have an incredibly active four year old, and if he were obese I would definitely be the one to blame because HE IS FOUR YEARS OLD! After a certain point, though, parents cannot control what their kids eat all the time. The best we can do is lead by example. That's why when I take my son to the park in the afternoons I don't bring a book and park my butt on a bench and watch him play. I get out there and play with him! We play hide and seek, tag, we race, I even bring my basketball so I can shoot some hoops. My son sees me eating the healthy food I am telling him to eat, and he sees me working out everyday. I am doing the best I can with the knowledge I have, and I think most parents are doing the same.:happy:

gigiangelique

I teach nurtrition to low income first graders and it shocks me how little kids know. When I was growing up i was never aloud soda or large amounts of juice unless it was fresh pressed. for lunch my mom gave us 1 treat like a small amout of chips or a fruit role up but always gave us a healthy sandwich and fruit! Oh and fast food ..ofrget about it once a month if that!

Improvised

Thanks. I didn't think it was either. I just don't think that someone who isn't a parent, or anyone for that matter, should judge the way other parents raise their children.

Never?

Never.

totally agree-- but this should be interesting........

Never judge a parent for how they raise their children? Never ever? What if the child is being raised in a harmful environment? Just curious.

Improvised

I do agree that to a certain point parents are responsible for what their kids eat. I have an incredibly active four year old, and if he were obese I would definitely be the one to blame because HE IS FOUR YEARS OLD! After a certain point, though, parents cannot control what their kids eat all the time. The best we can do is lead by example. That's why when I take my son to the park in the afternoons I don't bring a book and park my butt on a bench and watch him play. I get out there and play with him! We play hide and seek, tag, we race, I even bring my basketball so I can shoot some hoops. My son sees me eating the healthy food I am telling him to eat, and he sees me working out everyday. I am doing the best I can with the knowledge I have, and I think most parents are doing the same.:happy:

Looove this! I agree. Except sometimes I DO park my butt on the bench, lol. Trying to change that, though.

JamiroJunior

Once, I saw a woman at the Publix parking lot, in her car with her son. She was obese and her son was quite chubby, they were both eating McDonalds. How shameful, in my opinion. :mad:

seehawkmomma

I do agree that to a certain point parents are responsible for what their kids eat. I have an incredibly active four year old, and if he were obese I would definitely be the one to blame because HE IS FOUR YEARS OLD! After a certain point, though, parents cannot control what their kids eat all the time. The best we can do is lead by example. That's why when I take my son to the park in the afternoons I don't bring a book and park my butt on a bench and watch him play. I get out there and play with him! We play hide and seek, tag, we race, I even bring my basketball so I can shoot some hoops. My son sees me eating the healthy food I am telling him to eat, and he sees me working out everyday. I am doing the best I can with the knowledge I have, and I think most parents are doing the same.:happy:

You sound like an amazing mother

taramaureen

Which is exactly what parents that abuse their child in other ways say. Few abusive parents admit that they are abusive. But I suppose we should all just ignore it.

WTH? Why are you insinuating I abuse my children?

Trust me, I know the cycle of abuse, I know how abusive parents act. I work with abused children every day in my line of work. I'm not saying ignore ABUSE. Genuine ABUSE. I'm saying it's really none of anyone's business what I feed my kid if they are generally well taken care of... which they are.:drinker:

You obviously misunderstood my posts.

Nope, pretty sure your "meaning" was crystal clear. Nice backpeddling, though.

I'm not "backpeddling" you suggested that it was nobody's business what parents feed their children. I suggested it certainly was if what they were feeding them was detrimental to their health. That's what I said and that's what I meant. I did not mention you or anyone that was obese. (honestly I still do not know to what obese person you were referring)

I'm just going to take your posts from now on to mean "I'm too dense to communicate in a proper manner so I'm going to spew word vommit about without making a valid argument".

taramaureen

Her point is "stop feeding babies and children sugar and Junk."

Screw that... I just ordered a pizza.

SeaSiren1

I think parents should do what they think is right by their children. If they want to feed their children fast food and sugar cereal then IMO it is their right to do so.

That being said I have raised 5 children. I rare to never have junk food in my house and the closest thing to fast food is the occassional Subway. The children have carried this outside the home simply because they don't care for the taste of that type of food nor how they feel after eating it. They are also all actively involved in sports. How will they do in the long run? We shall see .... since they are only 21, 19, 17, 15 years old and 21 mo.

ShrinkingHollyx

Thanks. I didn't think it was either. I just don't think that someone who isn't a parent, or anyone for that matter, should judge the way other parents raise their children.

Never?

Never.

totally agree-- but this should be interesting........

Never judge a parent for how they raise their children? Never ever? What if the child is being raised in a harmful environment? Just curious.

You're taking what I said too literally. If the child is really being abused verbally or physically, of course you have that right to call his or her parent a bad parent. However, when it comes to what a child eats or how the child is raised, that is not anyone's place to judge.

Improvised

Thanks. I didn't think it was either. I just don't think that someone who isn't a parent, or anyone for that matter, should judge the way other parents raise their children.

Never?

Never.

totally agree-- but this should be interesting........

Never judge a parent for how they raise their children? Never ever? What if the child is being raised in a harmful environment? Just curious.

You're taking what I said too literally. If the child is really being abused verbally or physically, of course you have that right to call his or her parent a bad parent. However, when it comes to what a child eats or how the child is raised, that is not anyone's place to judge.

Gotcha. I agree, then.

bcattoes

No, I don't know the OP but I agree with much of what she said. I have personally known children whose lives were made miserable and lonely due to obesity. And I have a special needs grandson born with congenital GI problems. He is frequently hospitalized at a promient east coast (US) children's hospital. Since he is often on the GI surgery ward I have seen the children in the bariatric surgery ward and it is hearbreaking. Food can definitely be an instrument of abuse for children.

Have you read every one of their chart notes? Are you fully aware that the reasons those children could be in the hospital because of gentics and not because their parents are force feeding them McDonalds? Or other reasons unknown to you? How easily you judge that situation.

Just because you went into one hospital doesnt make it true for the rest of the world.

If it were genetics what would be the point of the surgery? Bariatric surgery is to force less food to be eaten and would only be a remedy if the cause was too much food.

If you want to believe it's impossible to abuse children with food, or that parents have a right to do so, then I find that unfortunate.

UsedToBeHusky

Thanks. I didn't think it was either. I just don't think that someone who isn't a parent, or anyone for that matter, should judge the way other parents raise their children.

Never?

Never.

totally agree-- but this should be interesting........

Never judge a parent for how they raise their children? Never ever? What if the child is being raised in a harmful environment? Just curious.

There is a big difference between 'harmful' and 'unhealthy'. And the quality of food is only one aspect of the environment. If you have never been judged for the environment that you provide your children, then maybe you can't quite understand the difference. You have to ask yourself which is the lesser evil. Should you misjudge the situation, what kind of damage could YOU cause by interfering?