Ready to Say I DO?

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Amanda0325
Amanda0325 Posts: 245 Member
in Chit-Chat
Anyone here been with your bf/gf/significant other for an extended period of time and ready for that question?! Will be together with my bf for 7 years in March and I'm dying for a ring... but don't know if it is anywhere in sight for the near future lol..
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Replies

  • mkmacf
    mkmacf Posts: 101
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    I am married, been together almost 6 years. It was the opposite for us! He proposed and wanted to get married, where I was indifferent. In love, but not needing the actual marriage.

    I am sure you'll get what you want ;) Happy Holidays!
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?
  • jedinight32
    jedinight32 Posts: 39
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    I have been with my guy for almost 5 years and he is 7 years older then me so I thought that he would have asked me maybe a year or two ago. He gave me a promise ring for Christmas last year, but I have gotten no hints of a ring coming for Christmas so I am not expecting one. I would love if he did though. I know how you feel. I sometimes feel like it is never going to come. My family kept asking him and even me when we are getting married ever since I graduated from college in '09. Hope we both get our wishes soon.
  • shadea4455
    shadea4455 Posts: 173 Member
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    lol yes this is me!! We've been together for 7 years as well, but we decided not to get engaged until after I graduate from grad school because I'm not working so he pays ALL our bills and everything, so we are on a very tight budget and he cannot afford the ring he wants right now. I just have to remind myself that it's just a ring, I mean we already live together and everything and I know we're going to get married, I just have to be patient, sighh... haha but it drives me CRAZY when I see all my friends getting engaged/married and I'm like damn you've known him for like a month and I've been with my man for 7 years, I want my ring!! lol but I just have to remember patience... :)
  • Amanda0325
    Amanda0325 Posts: 245 Member
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    lol yes this is me!! We've been together for 7 years as well, but we decided not to get engaged until after I graduate from grad school because I'm not working so he pays ALL our bills and everything, so we are on a very tight budget and he cannot afford the ring he wants right now. I just have to remind myself that it's just a ring, I mean we already live together and everything and I know we're going to get married, I just have to be patient, sighh... haha but it drives me CRAZY when I see all my friends getting engaged/married and I'm like damn you've known him for like a month and I've been with my man for 7 years, I want my ring!! lol but I just have to remember patience... :)

    I def feel the same way... we live together too.. have for almost 3 years now.. I adore him.. but i'm at that age where everyoen is starting to get hitched.. and have babies and I persoanlly don't want to be in my 30s when i start having kids.. my mom had me at 24 so id liket o be in my 50s when my kids are getting married and having kids of their own too... He is going to be 28 next month so I feel like he is just trying to live out his youth...

    No ones going to yell at you Annabell.. i wonder the same thing myself sometimes... He just sees what a high rate of divorce is out there and honestly scared i think... IDK>.... but he needs to friggen get over it before i get over it and move out lol...
  • sunnybrunette126
    sunnybrunette126 Posts: 200 Member
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    im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?

    i agree... i have a friend who waited for 7 years and she finally gave him an ultimatum to marry her. i advised against this because i told her in 7 years if he didn't know he wanted to marry you than maybe he doesn't want to marry you. he married her and two years later they divorced.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    I've been married for 10 years, and I'm still not sure I'm ready.
  • CanadianMomma
    CanadianMomma Posts: 66 Member
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    I've been with my significant other for over 11 years. He is 7 yrs older than I, and he asked me to marry him about 5 yrs ago, but I'm still not sure if marriage is what I want or need. We have raised his children together from a previous marriage and now have 2 of our own. We are already a family and I feel that I don't need a wedding to confirm what I already have. I'll admit I also come from a family history of divorce, so I'm a little reluctant due to that as well.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    This going to be blunt because that's what I do ...

    Color me skeptical. I am firmly entrenched in the "If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked already" camp. Your first mistake was moving in with the guy.

    If you want to get married, don't move in until you are at very least engaged and in the process of planning the wedding. I can't even count the number of women I know who have been living with their boyfriends for 5+ years and are still waiting desperately for a ring. Some even have the ring (I have one friend who has been "engaged" for 9 years) but can't get the guy to agree to a wedding date, which should tell them something.

    You need to send this guy a message that says "If you want to wake up with me every day and go to sleep with me every night, buy me a ring, get down on one knee, and ask me properly to be your wife." If he doesn't want to do that, he's not just opening the door for you to walk out, he's kicking you down the front steps.

    Wake up, ladies.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Im a huge love pessimist so take it as you will....

    Dont assume he can read your mind about wanting to be married. Talk to him and see if you are on the same path for your future. If you are, great. hold out. If you arent, decide what to do. Its really just a ring and a piece of paper at the end of the day. Doesnt change anything about your life together other than making it a whole lot more expensive and complicated to NOT be together later on.
  • Amara15
    Amara15 Posts: 211 Member
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    im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?

    I found this to be true in my own life.
  • heyydanie
    heyydanie Posts: 103 Member
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    I am married, been together almost 6 years. It was the opposite for us! He proposed and wanted to get married, where I was indifferent. In love, but not needing the actual marriage.

    I am sure you'll get what you want ;) Happy Holidays!

    ^This! He and I both know we're going to get married, we're engaged, but he would get married tomorrow if I said okay! I think we should wait until we're a bit older and have more stability in our lives.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    You always hear people say that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and it's what's in your heart that matters, etc. etc. I am very happily married but I always felt that the previous statements were true...

    Until last year when my friend passed away at 42:cry: . My friend and her boyfriend were together for more than 12 years. She passed away of a stroke at a bridal shower. (Healthy as a horse, or so it seemed) Her family went crazy. At the funeral her bf was referred to over and over as "her friend", they never even mentioned his name! :noway: His two children were sitting in the front row by him and they were asked to move so that FAMILY could sit there... several of us put a stop to that and they remained seated in their places. They wanted to sell the house out from under him as his name was not on it (he paid the mortgage for those years though). All turned out ok in the end because they found her will. But it taught me that marriage is SOOOO much more than a piece of paper, it's protection for the one that you love:smooched: .

    :heart: :heart: Good luck to you! I hope you get that ring!!!! :heart: :heart:
  • dixonkk
    dixonkk Posts: 5
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    My husband and I were the opposite. He proposed six months after we met. Then we started getting all the "why rush it" and "that's so fast!" comments. Well, we were in our mid and late 20s, college graduates, good jobs, and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. So why wait? We've been married for three months and I've never been happier.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    This going to be blunt because that's what I do ...

    Color me skeptical. I am firmly entrenched in the "If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked already" camp. Your first mistake was moving in with the guy.

    If you want to get married, don't move in until you are at very least engaged and in the process of planning the wedding. I can't even count the number of women I know who have been living with their boyfriends for 5+ years and are still waiting desperately for a ring. Some even have the ring (I have one friend who has been "engaged" for 9 years) but can't get the guy to agree to a wedding date, which should tell them something.

    You need to send this guy a message that says "If you want to wake up with me every day and go to sleep with me every night, buy me a ring, get down on one knee, and ask me properly to be your wife." If he doesn't want to do that, he's not just opening the door for you to walk out, he's kicking you down the front steps.

    Wake up, ladies.

    I 100% agree with this. I might be old school, but no way would I move in with my boyfriend without at least being engaged. Good luck, OP!
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
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    im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?
    Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
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    is it just me?or a lot of these posts focused in getting a ring? its just a ring, material possesion isnt everything in this world. do you want the ring or the cmmitment, cause its two completly different things. want a ring? buy one? i dont know, ive been with my partner for 7 years, 8 this year, no plans on the table, why ruin something thats great with pressuring them to marry you? all situations are different though

    good luck an hope it all pans out how you wanted :)
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I'm quite comfortable with my bachelorhoodism. Plus my gf has perfect credit and mine is the worst. So we may never technically get married. But she already had one wedding and marriage, so I'm off the hook.

    After one bad break up I nearly got the word NEVER tattooed around my ring finger...
  • harrydresden
    harrydresden Posts: 37
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    Some people just don't think about marriage, and see it as merely a piece of paper. To others, it means the world. You need to figure out if marriage is ever actually something he wants: some guys just don't ever want to be "married" as it means nothing to them. Like me: if you love someone and you're with them... that's enough, without needing the validation of the state.

    It depends on the person, though.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    well ya, my situation was a little different. we knew each other since grade school but didnt date til 24, then six months later i got pregnant and he said oh i want you to move in anyway, i said no way(even though i was already pregnant i know im an idiot) that my dad would roll over in his grave! lol i said do you want to get married on the 10th or the 17th?! lol we have been married for 20 yrs now. it has its ups and downs but i waited for 11 yrs for a real ring. had a gold one that cost us 40 bucks and wore that forever and i am a big jewelry freak. but if you have to wait until you can afford it it might never happen

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