Ready to Say I DO?
Amanda0325
Posts: 245 Member
Anyone here been with your bf/gf/significant other for an extended period of time and ready for that question?! Will be together with my bf for 7 years in March and I'm dying for a ring... but don't know if it is anywhere in sight for the near future lol..
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Replies
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I am married, been together almost 6 years. It was the opposite for us! He proposed and wanted to get married, where I was indifferent. In love, but not needing the actual marriage.
I am sure you'll get what you want
Happy Holidays! 0 -
im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?0
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I have been with my guy for almost 5 years and he is 7 years older then me so I thought that he would have asked me maybe a year or two ago. He gave me a promise ring for Christmas last year, but I have gotten no hints of a ring coming for Christmas so I am not expecting one. I would love if he did though. I know how you feel. I sometimes feel like it is never going to come. My family kept asking him and even me when we are getting married ever since I graduated from college in '09. Hope we both get our wishes soon.0
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lol yes this is me!! We've been together for 7 years as well, but we decided not to get engaged until after I graduate from grad school because I'm not working so he pays ALL our bills and everything, so we are on a very tight budget and he cannot afford the ring he wants right now. I just have to remind myself that it's just a ring, I mean we already live together and everything and I know we're going to get married, I just have to be patient, sighh... haha but it drives me CRAZY when I see all my friends getting engaged/married and I'm like damn you've known him for like a month and I've been with my man for 7 years, I want my ring!! lol but I just have to remember patience...
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lol yes this is me!! We've been together for 7 years as well, but we decided not to get engaged until after I graduate from grad school because I'm not working so he pays ALL our bills and everything, so we are on a very tight budget and he cannot afford the ring he wants right now. I just have to remind myself that it's just a ring, I mean we already live together and everything and I know we're going to get married, I just have to be patient, sighh... haha but it drives me CRAZY when I see all my friends getting engaged/married and I'm like damn you've known him for like a month and I've been with my man for 7 years, I want my ring!! lol but I just have to remember patience...
I def feel the same way... we live together too.. have for almost 3 years now.. I adore him.. but i'm at that age where everyoen is starting to get hitched.. and have babies and I persoanlly don't want to be in my 30s when i start having kids.. my mom had me at 24 so id liket o be in my 50s when my kids are getting married and having kids of their own too... He is going to be 28 next month so I feel like he is just trying to live out his youth...
No ones going to yell at you Annabell.. i wonder the same thing myself sometimes... He just sees what a high rate of divorce is out there and honestly scared i think... IDK>.... but he needs to friggen get over it before i get over it and move out lol...0 -
im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?
i agree... i have a friend who waited for 7 years and she finally gave him an ultimatum to marry her. i advised against this because i told her in 7 years if he didn't know he wanted to marry you than maybe he doesn't want to marry you. he married her and two years later they divorced.0 -
I've been married for 10 years, and I'm still not sure I'm ready.0
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I've been with my significant other for over 11 years. He is 7 yrs older than I, and he asked me to marry him about 5 yrs ago, but I'm still not sure if marriage is what I want or need. We have raised his children together from a previous marriage and now have 2 of our own. We are already a family and I feel that I don't need a wedding to confirm what I already have. I'll admit I also come from a family history of divorce, so I'm a little reluctant due to that as well.0
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This going to be blunt because that's what I do ...
Color me skeptical. I am firmly entrenched in the "If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked already" camp. Your first mistake was moving in with the guy.
If you want to get married, don't move in until you are at very least engaged and in the process of planning the wedding. I can't even count the number of women I know who have been living with their boyfriends for 5+ years and are still waiting desperately for a ring. Some even have the ring (I have one friend who has been "engaged" for 9 years) but can't get the guy to agree to a wedding date, which should tell them something.
You need to send this guy a message that says "If you want to wake up with me every day and go to sleep with me every night, buy me a ring, get down on one knee, and ask me properly to be your wife." If he doesn't want to do that, he's not just opening the door for you to walk out, he's kicking you down the front steps.
Wake up, ladies.0 -
Im a huge love pessimist so take it as you will....
Dont assume he can read your mind about wanting to be married. Talk to him and see if you are on the same path for your future. If you are, great. hold out. If you arent, decide what to do. Its really just a ring and a piece of paper at the end of the day. Doesnt change anything about your life together other than making it a whole lot more expensive and complicated to NOT be together later on.0 -
im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?
I found this to be true in my own life.0 -
I am married, been together almost 6 years. It was the opposite for us! He proposed and wanted to get married, where I was indifferent. In love, but not needing the actual marriage.
I am sure you'll get what you want Happy Holidays!
^This! He and I both know we're going to get married, we're engaged, but he would get married tomorrow if I said okay! I think we should wait until we're a bit older and have more stability in our lives.0 -
You always hear people say that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and it's what's in your heart that matters, etc. etc. I am very happily married but I always felt that the previous statements were true...
Until last year when my friend passed away at 42
. My friend and her boyfriend were together for more than 12 years. She passed away of a stroke at a bridal shower. (Healthy as a horse, or so it seemed) Her family went crazy. At the funeral her bf was referred to over and over as "her friend", they never even mentioned his name! :noway: His two children were sitting in the front row by him and they were asked to move so that FAMILY could sit there... several of us put a stop to that and they remained seated in their places. They wanted to sell the house out from under him as his name was not on it (he paid the mortgage for those years though). All turned out ok in the end because they found her will. But it taught me that marriage is SOOOO much more than a piece of paper, it's protection for the one that you love:smooched: .
Good luck to you! I hope you get that ring!!!! 0 -
My husband and I were the opposite. He proposed six months after we met. Then we started getting all the "why rush it" and "that's so fast!" comments. Well, we were in our mid and late 20s, college graduates, good jobs, and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. So why wait? We've been married for three months and I've never been happier.0
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This going to be blunt because that's what I do ...
Color me skeptical. I am firmly entrenched in the "If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked already" camp. Your first mistake was moving in with the guy.
If you want to get married, don't move in until you are at very least engaged and in the process of planning the wedding. I can't even count the number of women I know who have been living with their boyfriends for 5+ years and are still waiting desperately for a ring. Some even have the ring (I have one friend who has been "engaged" for 9 years) but can't get the guy to agree to a wedding date, which should tell them something.
You need to send this guy a message that says "If you want to wake up with me every day and go to sleep with me every night, buy me a ring, get down on one knee, and ask me properly to be your wife." If he doesn't want to do that, he's not just opening the door for you to walk out, he's kicking you down the front steps.
Wake up, ladies.
I 100% agree with this. I might be old school, but no way would I move in with my boyfriend without at least being engaged. Good luck, OP!0 -
Why buy the cow when the milk is free?im sorry probably gonna get yelled at for this but i have heard this a lot on here lately. why is he not proposing? after 7 years i would think you would both know if you are the "one". does he want to get married?0 -
is it just me?or a lot of these posts focused in getting a ring? its just a ring, material possesion isnt everything in this world. do you want the ring or the cmmitment, cause its two completly different things. want a ring? buy one? i dont know, ive been with my partner for 7 years, 8 this year, no plans on the table, why ruin something thats great with pressuring them to marry you? all situations are different though
good luck an hope it all pans out how you wanted 0 -
I'm quite comfortable with my bachelorhoodism. Plus my gf has perfect credit and mine is the worst. So we may never technically get married. But she already had one wedding and marriage, so I'm off the hook.
After one bad break up I nearly got the word NEVER tattooed around my ring finger...0 -
Some people just don't think about marriage, and see it as merely a piece of paper. To others, it means the world. You need to figure out if marriage is ever actually something he wants: some guys just don't ever want to be "married" as it means nothing to them. Like me: if you love someone and you're with them... that's enough, without needing the validation of the state.
It depends on the person, though.0 -
well ya, my situation was a little different. we knew each other since grade school but didnt date til 24, then six months later i got pregnant and he said oh i want you to move in anyway, i said no way(even though i was already pregnant i know im an idiot) that my dad would roll over in his grave! lol i said do you want to get married on the 10th or the 17th?! lol we have been married for 20 yrs now. it has its ups and downs but i waited for 11 yrs for a real ring. had a gold one that cost us 40 bucks and wore that forever and i am a big jewelry freak. but if you have to wait until you can afford it it might never happen0
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My Bf and I have been together 9 1/2 years. We have had the discussion about marriage, and both want to be married. Money has been tight, and he has been saving up for a ring. I have gotten to the point where, the ring itself is not important. I don;t care if its realy or fake, lets just get this show on the road.
I did tell him a couple years ago that he had until our 10 year anniversary. if we weren;t engaged or married by then, then we need to re-evaluate our relationship and where its going. We do not live together, as I told him I would not until we were engaged and planning a wedding.
I hope that you get a ring soon, as i know how it feels to be waiting for something you want. 0 -
This going to be blunt because that's what I do ...
Color me skeptical. I am firmly entrenched in the "If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked already" camp. Your first mistake was moving in with the guy.
If you want to get married, don't move in until you are at very least engaged and in the process of planning the wedding. I can't even count the number of women I know who have been living with their boyfriends for 5+ years and are still waiting desperately for a ring. Some even have the ring (I have one friend who has been "engaged" for 9 years) but can't get the guy to agree to a wedding date, which should tell them something.
You need to send this guy a message that says "If you want to wake up with me every day and go to sleep with me every night, buy me a ring, get down on one knee, and ask me properly to be your wife." If he doesn't want to do that, he's not just opening the door for you to walk out, he's kicking you down the front steps.
Wake up, ladies.
I have to 100% disagree with this statement. I think in this day and age, you'd have to be crazy to get engaged to or marry someone before you live with them. At the end of the day, you don't really know someone until you actually live with them 24/7. Making a lifetime commitment to someone when you only see the best sides of them (it's much easier to hide your flaws when you don't see someone all the time) is just asking for trouble when you get engaged or married and actually have to deal with your SO all the time.0 -
I'm quite comfortable with my bachelorhoodism. Plus my gf has perfect credit and mine is the worst. So we may never technically get married. But she already had one wedding and marriage, so I'm off the hook.
After one bad break up I nearly got the word NEVER tattooed around my ring finger...
I hear ya. Trust me when I say, not all women are the same. Thankfully!!!!
I'm suprised a certain someone hasn't posted in here yet. 0 -
Me and my husband were together for 3 years before he proposed then another year before we were married and now we have been married for 6 years together for 10 and we lived with each other for 2 years before even getting engaged!
I couldn't imagine even thinking about marrying someone that I didn't live with full time before hand...Sometimes there are just things you can not get over or "live" with.
Either way good luck to you and I hope that you get your ring or figure out if that is what is good for your relationship.0 -
What's great about getting older is our ability to set aside the insecurities in our relationships and just be blunt - you need to have the conversation with him. He needs to know what you feel about marriage and hopefully he reciprocates. You also don't want to pressure him into "popping the question" when he's not ready. That resentment can be a slippery slope in a marriage. I hope you two come to a consensus about the rest of your lives. :bigsmile:0
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The one thing I don't see on here is if you've had a discussion with him about marriage? Does he even WANT to get married. Have you discussed the two of you getting married and what was his reaction? I agree in part with those that say don't move in until you at least have a ring. That said, I did just the opposite. HOWEVER, we had already discussed marriage and knew that it was in our future. Much to my surprise he already had the ring bought and he asked me to marry him 2 weeks after he moved in. That was 14 years ago and we've been married for 13. If you haven't had the conversation you really need to have it with him. Figure out where he stands on the issue and let him know where you are at. Make your decision to stay/go after that.0
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This going to be blunt because that's what I do ...
Color me skeptical. I am firmly entrenched in the "If he wanted to marry you, he'd have asked already" camp. Your first mistake was moving in with the guy.
If you want to get married, don't move in until you are at very least engaged and in the process of planning the wedding. I can't even count the number of women I know who have been living with their boyfriends for 5+ years and are still waiting desperately for a ring. Some even have the ring (I have one friend who has been "engaged" for 9 years) but can't get the guy to agree to a wedding date, which should tell them something.
You need to send this guy a message that says "If you want to wake up with me every day and go to sleep with me every night, buy me a ring, get down on one knee, and ask me properly to be your wife." If he doesn't want to do that, he's not just opening the door for you to walk out, he's kicking you down the front steps.
Wake up, ladies.
The opposite side of this coin is my advice. NEVER, EVER CONSIDER MARRYING SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER LIVED WITH !!!! I can't stress this enough. Marriage is the single biggest decision that can make or break the rest of your life. DON"T make the wrong choice or get "forced" into marriage b/c you will end up hating both of you for f*ckin this decision up.0 -
I haven't been with my boyfriend nearly as long as some of you all have been, but I talk to my boyfriend about marriage all the time. He told me recently that what holds him back is how MUCH I talk about it. It just becomes a pest & makes him feel like I'm rushing everything. He feels if he proposed now it would ruin the element of surprise and make the proposal a lot less romantic and special because I'm anticipating it coming. He wants to marry me and he too can't wait to make me his wife, but he doesn't want to be pressured to do it...he wants to plan it on his own time. Do you talk about it TOO much with your boyfriend? Maybe he feels like my guy? I'm learning to be patient and to shut up about it... and with some time after I've stopped talking about it all, he'll get down on one knee and propose.0
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Anyone here been with your bf/gf/significant other for an extended period of time and ready for that question?! Will be together with my bf for 7 years in March and I'm dying for a ring... but don't know if it is anywhere in sight for the near future lol..
I proposed to my boyfriend, because quite frankly, I wanted to marry him. He still has the choice of saying no, as any man does, same as a woman has the choice to say no when asked. He said yes. We knew we're going to be together, but I wanted the frilly girl day. And he made his choice that he'd be ok with letting me wear a dress the side of a small Texan city.
Have you talked to him about a ring? Have you talked to him about a life together? I mean, if you haven't expressed your desire to marry him, or file for common law status even, then you don't really know where he stands. I'd say have the talk... and if he wants you for the rest of his life, who says you can't be the big girl and ask him?
Amy0 -
I haven't been with my boyfriend nearly as long as some of you all have been, but I talk to my boyfriend about marriage all the time. He told me recently that what holds him back is how MUCH I talk about it. It just becomes a pest & makes him feel like I'm rushing everything. He feels if he proposed now it would ruin the element of surprise and make the proposal a lot less romantic and special because I'm anticipating it coming. He wants to marry me and he too can't wait to make me his wife, but he doesn't want to be pressured to do it...he wants to plan it on his own time. Do you talk about it TOO much with your boyfriend? Maybe he feels like my guy? I'm learning to be patient and to shut up about it... and with some time after I've stopped talking about it all, he'll get down on one knee and propose.
THIS is the reason I proposed to my guy He was the same... and I had a hard time of letting it go, so I took charge LOL
Amy0
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