Can a Fit, Sexy Girl Like a Fat Guy?

KimmieBrie

There's a difference in people who are overweight but still care about themselves and people who are overweight and just don't care.
I can understand not wanting to date someone who clearly has no interest in bettering themselves or living a good life.

No i wouldn't date a man who is 400lbs, rarely leaves the house and lives in sweat pants and sloppy t-shirts.

But a person can be overweight and still live a fairly active life and still care about themselves, they just make bad food choices.

It's completely false that everyone who is overweight is lazy and lives on the couch or in front of the computer.

I know when i was 240lbs, i still was outside everyday going to the park with my dogs, rollerblading, going out to the lake, hiking, camping, etc. I wasn't a bump on the couch, i just ate bad foods and too much of them.

This is absolutely true. I actually have a VERY active girlfriend who is overweight - probably the weight you started at and she does everything. She was my gym partner at work. She's more active than a lot of people in medically normal weight range, however in my experience, this is the exception not the norm. Most greatly overweight men I know don't and can't do a lot of things... they are out of breath taking the stairs, snow sports are out of the question. I don't even like slow walking lol - I get impatient if I can't speed walk. I am only speaking of those men I know personally who are lets say 50 pounds or more overweight. I know plenty of men who are under 50 pds overweight who are still very active.

MaraDiaz

That would be one disadvantage to dating a really out of shape guy. I wouldn't have anyone to work out with. But other things are still more important to me.

KimmieBrie

That would be one disadvantage to dating a really out of shape guy. I wouldn't have anyone to work out with. But other things are still more important to me.

Absolutely those others things are more important but they are all important. I once was hit on by one of the most beautiful men I ever saw... and then he opened his mouth... and I wanted to cry. All he did was go on and on and ON about how many hours he spent in the gym and ON and on about himself. Complete turnoff. I couldn't stand listening to him anymore and had to leave.

So the qualities, intellect, character - everything is in play. I'm just saying honestly - if there's nothing physical there for me that is another deal breaker. The physical relationship while not being the top priority is still a priority for me to maintain a lifelong happy relationship. It must include being happy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Why settle for 2 out of 3 when you can have them all?

It's also possible some women find overweight men attractive physically because there are plenty of couples who are happy in that situation. I just wouldn't be... I don't think I'm shallow... just can't help what's attractive to me and what's not.

MaraDiaz

True, but the right amount of self confidence is just sexy. It can really override negative physical characteristics. That lard ball I mentioned earlier was a good romp in the sack, and again, it was all about the confidence.

Is that why they used to call con artists confidence men?

LorinaLynn

I will say that former obese women are more accepting of fat, obese men. Moreso than a woman who has been thin her entire life would likely be.

Now that's something I'll completely agree with. But I'll expand it to people who felt like a bit of an outcast, even if they were never obese. I'm a total dork, and damn proud of it, but in middle school and junior high, I was a scrawny nerd-girl with coke-bottle glasses. I never felt I was ugly, but I was unpopular and picked on a lot. I've always identified a lot more with a video game playing geek-boy than a jock or gym-rat.

And besides all that, my dad always had a big belly, and that never held him back from being insanely active, and never prevented him from being a great husband and father.

foremant86

There's a difference in people who are overweight but still care about themselves and people who are overweight and just don't care.
I can understand not wanting to date someone who clearly has no interest in bettering themselves or living a good life.

No i wouldn't date a man who is 400lbs, rarely leaves the house and lives in sweat pants and sloppy t-shirts.

But a person can be overweight and still live a fairly active life and still care about themselves, they just make bad food choices.

It's completely false that everyone who is overweight is lazy and lives on the couch or in front of the computer.

I know when i was 240lbs, i still was outside everyday going to the park with my dogs, rollerblading, going out to the lake, hiking, camping, etc. I wasn't a bump on the couch, i just ate bad foods and too much of them.

This is absolutely true. I actually have a VERY active girlfriend who is overweight - probably the weight you started at and she does everything. She was my gym partner at work. She's more active than a lot of people in medically normal weight range, however in my experience, this is the exception not the norm. Most greatly overweight men I know don't and can't do a lot of things... they are out of breath taking the stairs, snow sports are out of the question. I don't even like slow walking lol - I get impatient if I can't speed walk. I am only speaking of those men I know personally who are lets say 50 pounds or more overweight. I know plenty of men who are under 50 pds overweight who are still very active.

This is absolutely true as well.

My ex was about 350lbs and he was lazy, he had a desk job and then he came home and sat at the computer all night as well. Getting him to go to the park with me to walk the dog was a battle and he always complained about his weight but wouldn't do anything about it. Drove me absolutely insane and made me realize he wasn't the guy for me(a long with many other things)

auticus

Yes. I am outside a lot. Play sports etc... I couldn't handle sitting inside all day every day in front of the tv or computer. Genetics and body dispositions play a large role as well. Goes back to the guys I knew in the army who were fat but could max out their PT tests. They were physically in better shape than most of us but just had a high amount of body fat on them.

SingSmileLaugh

If it was you wouldn't be where you are or who you are- I dont' think you should wish to change a minute of it You're working on the health part now - keep it up Beef!

corey520

I'm 6'5 330 I play football I'm active but I'm a bigger guy and a lot of woman find that repulsing

jaysonhijinx

In early 2011 a girl I worked with started paying a lot of attention to me and made it pretty clear that she was interested in me. While I wasn't hugely obese, I definitely was chubby to fat and not in good shape at all. She was a petite little thing with a great body.

What made it seem even weirder was her previous boyfriend was no stranger to the gym and actually had a second job as a topless waiter so naturally was quite lean, muscular and aesthetically pleasing. It took me 3 months to accept that she actually was interested in me and it wasn't some setup or joke, lol.

kimjohnson543908

I've been called fit, sexy, pretty, etc. many times.

I've also been called ugly a few times.

Lovely how men have been trained that their judgement is so important that they have a right to tell you how they think you look.

But aside from that, I myself have been attracted to overweight men. I've also been in relationships with overweight men. However, it doesn't usually last long because our lifestyles clash, and I don't feel like I'm supported in creating a healthier me. It also seems to correlate with a smaller penis size, which I'm not a fan of honestly.

Different people are turned on by different things. Some people find me attractive, some do not. I find some people attractive, others I do not. That is all ok. What is not ok is when you try to project your ideals on someone in a negative/hurtful way, or out of a feeling of self-entitlement.

I myself, although I am considered fit my the majority, find myself leaning away from men that are in really good shape, especially those with 6-pack abs. I've dated a number of them, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them has this passive-aggressive, self-entitled attitude. They are either constantly talking about their bodies/what they eat, or passive aggressively hinting about how they want you to look, whether it be your body, your hairstyle, hair color, etc. I now feel like 6-pack abs = self entitled. I know I shouldn't judge everyone by those few, but just sharing a trend I see.

And honestly, I don't prefer super-ripped men. I like them thick, with nice legs and a nice butt. But again, that's just MY preference.

bacitracin

I know a number of fairly fit girls who like to cuddle chubby dudes. And some fit guys who prefer uhm how shall we say "more curvaceous" women. Personality goes a long way.

HealthWoke0ish

Duh...it's called "The Friend Zone"

haha:)

audra0831

Yes, absolutely. I don't care what you look like, how big you are...if you can make me laugh you're golden!

amylite

Bigger, yet active. Hello Seth Rogan!

flabbybunker

This is a long post . You might not want to read it but this is from a big guys perspective .

As a big guy, I think I can comment on this issue. It is first of all about confidence. I know I'm a big guy, and I want to lose weight. But I can tell you that having confidence and faith in yourself will go far. I am not saying that you shouldn't lose weight if your super heavy like myself, I know I lost many women because I wasn't the best I could be.

But let me tell you, there have ben times where I have had women who were fit or even modelequese (might be a word might not) seriously flirt with me. I have had very beautiful coworkers wanting me to come over their house late at night to "watch a movie and have some drinks". I have had ladies with boyfriends wanting me to come over their house and "talk": with them . I have had a lady, who I lose a $200 bet to on a football game, rather have me take them out to dinner and a private party and hang with me the whole night for more private partying afterwards. I have gone on dates with nurses ( the HELLOOOO NURSE TYPES) . Hell I even had women who had no attraction to me turn around and give me offers that you would only imagine happen in adult films .

I am not trying to sound egotistical, here. I'm just stating my experiences that I have encountered. If you have a good attitude, treat women right, listen to them, be honest with them when their right or wrong, and even show them your trying to workout and lose weight, you will get more women around you . Its all about confidence. I also found it ironic that I have attracted more slim , and fit women to me than even slightly chubby, or even heavyset women . For the record, I have been with all types of women . I wasn't purposely trying to just date in-shape , fit and slim women. Most of the time, they opened to me .

Now in spite of my success with women, I knew there were a lot of women that also saw me as the nice chubby guy(translation , your cool but I'm not attracted to you). I also noticed that my endurance and speed had decreased a lot over the years with my weight gain. Well those factors, on top of my lose of energy, made me want to get shape. I love to sweat on the cardio machines. Love the new energy I have found . Love the fact that I have started to substitute more veggies in my diet instead of more meat. I love meat a lot by the way. I still eat more than the recommended amount. But trust me , going from 4 pieces of chicken a meal down to two and more veggies in the meal is a success step.

In closing, I'm proof positive that you don't need money to attract women if your overweight. But , its easier to still attract women if your active and trying to lose weight . In fact , just go get active in general . You will have a better life view, look better and just have a more positive view of life. That will attract most women as well.

In closing Ill just say this about being heavyset and getting attractive women . " You can climb a mountain with just your feet and hands, but its so much easier to climb with gear"

sarahhan95

Since we are on this topic, as an 18 years old teenager, I just want to ask: Are women more forgiving than men in terms of physical attraction?

Noted that I'm not trying to put down men. It's just that in my high school environment, I tend to hear more about guys commenting on girls' appearance, giving them scores, saying really (and I meant REALLY) nasty things and such. There is definitely a huge difference in the number of sexy girls dating average-looking guys than vice versa.

Is this... "life" in general or a phase of immaturity? Are men generally this prone to physical attraction like the guys in my school?

mrsnathanandrew

It's just like the opposite, can a fit, sexy man like a fat woman. My husband is fit and sexy and he loves me and I'm quite plump. If I were fit and sexy (working on it), I'd love him if he got fat.

frank89419

YES!
Here is a true story to back it up.... When I met my husband, I was skinny and fit (I went to the gym twice a day and hardly ate). He was very overweight, but I noticed his amazing eyes and awesome outgoing personality before I noticed his weight. We dated for two years and got married and his weight never bothered me as much as it bothered him. I never even knew his weight until he decided to get gastric bypass surgery while I was pregnant with our second baby. He was 415 lbs, and I loved him no matter what. He is now 6'3" 255 lbs and it wouldn't matter to me what his weight is. I am just happy that he is happier and more healthy. We are now doing the couch to 5K together and plan on running a marathon this spring. The point of this story is, unless someone is vain, they will look at you and not see your weight!

I searched in Google about healthy women finding heavy guys attractive and came across this message board. After reading all of these posts, it was your post that made me make an account just so I can ask you one question.

Do you have any sisters?

SKINNYsupermodel

Yes, absolutely. I am very physically fit and active, and I dated a guy that was overweight (according to the BMI calculator). I loved him a lot and we enjoyed a lot of great stuff together. The only issue with his weight was that he often didn't enjoy activities that involved a lot of physical strain... so hikes, swimming, biking, all the things I REALLY enjoyed he kinda grumbled through, lol. Eventually this lead to us breaking up, since I was *obsessed* (in his opinion) with exercise and he completely hated it. But I still love him and would never have thought to be bothered by his weight.