breastfeeding in public

Bahet

I was at the mall today. I saw 2 women talking and nursing their babies in a some chairs in the mall. I saw some probably 13-15yo girls dressed like they were ging out for Halloween as hookers. I saw probably 100 different pairs of underwear on teenaged boys who wear their pants so low their belt is below their butt cheeks. I saw a probably 50yo woman in spandex. I saw a black woman with a huge platinum blond hairdo and nails that were blood red and probably 10 inches long. I saw a guy with a sleeve of tattoos some of which were practically deformed women in bikinis. I saw a Victoria's Secret store with a triple life sized ad in the window of a woman in her underwear. I saw people in the food court talking with their mouths full of food. I saw small children running around jumping on chairs with no parent in sight. Guess which bothered me the least.

dlei456

Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:

As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.

Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:

Although, I understand that to non-Americans, all Americans are "yanks", as a southerner I take great offense to being called any variation of a yankee.

Wow. Are you serious? Is this because of the Civil War?

christine24t

I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

I am glad I live here then! I just don't get why people feel like they have to be nude in those situations. Is it so terrible to wear a swimsuit? Is it really that hard? It's like people are just nude for the shock of it all sometimes. (And I'm not talking about BF, just public nudity/nude beaches/etc).

Rinny_D

Things like 'The Baby-friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI)' was launched by WHO and UNICEF in 1991! Because breastfeeding is a right.

It's a HUMAN RIGHT to be able to breastfeed and be breastfed. When the baby is hungry ITS HUNGRY. You can't always drop everything to go HOME and feed your child so get OVER IT! If you don;t want to see it DON'T LOOK.

I HATE smoking, I still have to put up with the awful smell because other's decide to do it AND that's a HEALTH issue and it's easier to look away than it is to not breath. So too bad for you that a baby NEEDS TO EAT! How about the next time you're hungry you wait till you get home, and the next time, and the next time and the next time!!!!!

http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/bfhi/en/

Here is a short list of FB pages on breastfeeding acceptance alone

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Breastfeeding/40275979644?ref=ts&sk=wall

https://www.facebook.com/groups/46407291462/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ina-Mays-Guide-to-Breastfeeding/95858132152

https://www.facebook.com/pages/If-breastfeeding-offends-you-put-a-blanket-over-YOUR-head/112297412142040

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=52510369945

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2517126532

AND here... A LIST OF info pertaining to the rights of BF'ing

http://www.internationalbreastfeedingjournal.com/content/1/1/27

http://www.infactcanada.ca/humright.htm

http://jhl.sagepub.com/content/19/4/357.extract

http://www.aph.gov.au/house/committee/haa/breastfeeding/subs/sub272.pdf - HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION JOURNAL

calamitydown

i don't feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, in fact, if i ever have children i will ONLY breastfeed. i just don't like seeing it in public when it's broadcasted and not discreet. i understand that if a kid is hungry, he's hungry. you need to feed him! however, there is a way to do it in a manner that is respectful for everyone.

i'm an art major and see great beauty in the female form- in fact, it's one of my favorite things to draw. i am not afraid of my sexuality, nor do i care "what people wear", etc. i honestly just do not care for women who are not sympathetic to the wishes of others.

tlsegar

Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:

As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.

Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:

Hey - that's not all of us!

Duly noted!! (and the "we don't care what the world thinks of us" actually represents a small number of Americans, in my experience.)

My experience has been the opposite. I suppose it's the part of the country I'm from. But I think overall, at the end of the day, most Americans are not terribly concerned with how the rest of the world views us. That could be good or bad.


I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

Is it normally prudish people who venture outside of their comfort zone and explore other cultures? I would think not. So they probably wouldn't have to concern themselves with scenarios you cited.

Different countries have different customs and social norms. You're not bothered by bare boobs. I would rather not have to look at them. I can't see how your opinion is better or worse than mine. And knowing that about myself, I don't put myself in settings where I would be made to feel uncomfortable. What is wrong with that?

veganbaum

Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:

As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.

Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:

Hey - that's not all of us!

Duly noted!! (and the "we don't care what the world thinks of us" actually represents a small number of Americans, in my experience.)

I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

Bare ankles are scandalous!

As an example of our craziness: My roommate's cousin graduated from high school last year, and for her generation it's normal to earn bracelets based on what sexual acts you are willing to perform and it's not uncommon for teenagers to have group sex parties. And some people are concerned about breastfeeding?! A reevaluation of our views about sex and sexuality is in order. If we had a healthier attitude, maybe we wouldn't have so many unhealthy sexual behaviors and women's breasts wouldn't be seen as purely a sexual "private" body part.

dlei456

I've seen it a couple of times myself. What makes me uncomfortable is that to me, feeding a child from your breast, which is a private part of your body, should not be a public act. I don't get why it is so hard to go and find a private room to do it in, or pump (if you can) and bring it with you to the store instead of lifting your shirt and having to have the baby latch on and be exposed like that.

I addressed this. You didn't reply.

Leaving a social situation is easy. I'd do that regularly. Leaving a store when you have a cart with milk and frozen foods and you should have had dinner in the oven already and older kid is getting cranky because it's coming up on nap-time and baby wants to be fed NOW is not so easy.

Breastfeeding is beautiful. It's also necessary if you are a BFing mother. I think it's equally beautiful to have a nice sit down dinner with my family around the dining room table. That doesn't mean we haven't scarfed down burgers in the car every once in a while.

Not everyone can pump. Some of those who can work outside the home and need that supply for while they are gone. You don't see why it's so hard to go find a private room in a store for 20 minutes because you compared it to leaving a social situation to talk on the phone or do your makeup. That's an entirely different world than parenting, especially with babies and young kids. It most definitely is hard, all but impossible even, to take a cranky toddler to the dressing room at WalMart (because I'll feed my kids in the bathroom when you eat a your lunch in the next stall), keep the toddler still, patient, and occupied for 20 minutes, feed the baby, go find your cart which has probably been put away or if not you will at least need to switch out the refrigerated/frozen foods, then get home 20 minutes later than the already running late you were already doing, try to get the toddler down for a nap which won't happen because after screaming through the rest of your shopping trip (which got you many more nasty looks than nursing a baby ever would) he fell asleep for 5 minutes in the car so that means no more nap and do all of that so some stranger doesn't have to wonder if that baby in the sling is asleep or nursing. Sorry, you're just not that important for me to go through all of that so you don't have to feel slightly uncomfortable passing me in an aisle for 5 seconds.

I apologize for not responding to your post. There are a lot of posts I could reply to, so I've been picking and choosing ones.

About having a cart of groceries, etc. I understand that may occur sometimes, but couldn't a woman feed the baby before they go out? The baby should be satiated for a while, at least the amount of time it takes to dip into the grocery store. I think it could be more timed out. And yes, I do understand that babies get hungry when they get hungry. But if you understand your baby, you may know, "okay, I just fed him, he should be good for a while now" and be able to plan your trips accordingly.

I still find it revealing that many of the people who are uncomfortable with BF in public are young women. I don't see a ton of young men here. I feel bad for the girls who are so uncomfortable with BF! It really is not a big deal! Especially, after you've been through labor and had part of your body examined and put out there during labor! Luckily, something chemical will happen in women's brains when we get pregnant and you start to care about the really important stuff, like the health of your baby, rather than who is wearing what or doing whatever in public!

I also think when you tell someone who is trying to meet the needs of their child that they are making your life difficult, it is a bit annoying. Hardly anyone WANTS to breastfeed in public. It is super embarrassing enough without random people on a MFP thread saying how uneasy it makes them feel.

I think that men care, but they don't feel like they have a say or deserve to say something because they aren't women. Like I pointed out before, Kasey Kahne recently got some flak for saying that he lost his appetite in the grocery store when he saw a woman breastfeeding in the aisles of a grocery store. He later recalled his words, and said that a woman can breastfeed where she wants, but regardless, he said the original words and I'm not sure he believes his apology.

Also about the people not wanting to BF in public - I would agree completely. If I did end up BF, I would not feel one bit comfortable with doing it in public, that is why I'd come up with a plan and a plan B scenario to deal with the situation, whether it be a supplemental bottle of formula or what-not.

The best laid plans of mice and men!

dlei456

I actually think that men don't care as much, actually, especially ones who are dads. I saw lots of posts by men saying they don't really care. Like a breast is not such a big deal.

veganbaum

I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

I am glad I live here then! I just don't get why people feel like they have to be nude in those situations. Is it so terrible to wear a swimsuit? Is it really that hard? It's like people are just nude for the shock of it all sometimes. (And I'm not talking about BF, just public nudity/nude beaches/etc).

The point here is precisely that for them, it's NOT shocking - it's normal and natural.

Bahet

I addressed this. You didn't reply.

Leaving a social situation is easy. I'd do that regularly. Leaving a store when you have a cart with milk and frozen foods and you should have had dinner in the oven already and older kid is getting cranky because it's coming up on nap-time and baby wants to be fed NOW is not so easy.

Breastfeeding is beautiful. It's also necessary if you are a BFing mother. I think it's equally beautiful to have a nice sit down dinner with my family around the dining room table. That doesn't mean we haven't scarfed down burgers in the car every once in a while.

Not everyone can pump. Some of those who can work outside the home and need that supply for while they are gone. You don't see why it's so hard to go find a private room in a store for 20 minutes because you compared it to leaving a social situation to talk on the phone or do your makeup. That's an entirely different world than parenting, especially with babies and young kids. It most definitely is hard, all but impossible even, to take a cranky toddler to the dressing room at WalMart (because I'll feed my kids in the bathroom when you eat a your lunch in the next stall), keep the toddler still, patient, and occupied for 20 minutes, feed the baby, go find your cart which has probably been put away or if not you will at least need to switch out the refrigerated/frozen foods, then get home 20 minutes later than the already running late you were already doing, try to get the toddler down for a nap which won't happen because after screaming through the rest of your shopping trip (which got you many more nasty looks than nursing a baby ever would) he fell asleep for 5 minutes in the car so that means no more nap and do all of that so some stranger doesn't have to wonder if that baby in the sling is asleep or nursing. Sorry, you're just not that important for me to go through all of that so you don't have to feel slightly uncomfortable passing me in an aisle for 5 seconds.

I apologize for not responding to your post. There are a lot of posts I could reply to, so I've been picking and choosing ones.

About having a cart of groceries, etc. I understand that may occur sometimes, but couldn't a woman feed the baby before they go out? The baby should be satiated for a while, at least the amount of time it takes to dip into the grocery store. I think it could be more timed out. And yes, I do understand that babies get hungry when they get hungry. But if you understand your baby, you may know, "okay, I just fed him, he should be good for a while now" and be able to plan your trips accordingly.

You really don't have to say that you don't have kids. It's pretty obvious. You can schedule your day as leisurely as you like. That stops when you have kids. It practically goes in reverse when you have more than one and both are little. You can't go out and run your errands until baby wakes up from his morning nap. Baby sleeps a bit late. So you head out a bit late. You feed baby before you leave while folding the laundry. Baby decides he's not that hungry. You head out to the store. You get your shopping about done and baby realizes he's hungry now. Kids don't come with instruction manuals. Parenting books can tell you all sorts of things. The problem is, kids don't read them so they don't know that those things are supposed to work.

Have you ever heard a parent say "I just asked you if you had to go before we left!" Feeding a baby is a lot like that. You may want it done before you leave the house but that doesn't mean baby will oblige or won't want more later. You may think you have baby on a schedule but babies can't tell time.

epona_mus

I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

I am glad I live here then! I just don't get why people feel like they have to be nude in those situations. Is it so terrible to wear a swimsuit? Is it really that hard? It's like people are just nude for the shock of it all sometimes. (And I'm not talking about BF, just public nudity/nude beaches/etc).

Because it's the cultural norm. I suggest you stay on your side of the pond if you don't ever want to be exposed to other cultures and cultural values.

bear_nakey

Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:

As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.

^^^ and this is the reason why the rest of the world thinks we are ignorant! Be advised that the rest of the world is completely aware that at one point in the history of civilization, breastfeeding was the only means to feed a child.
Shocking I know! *scoffs*
I personally don't care what anyone decides to do with their body or their children ( and don't take my statement and run, you debating argumentatives ). If a baby is hungry, feed it. That's our job as parents.
On a side note, if some stranger wants to invade your personal space, or scold your for having no shame in your body or choice of nutrition, perhaps you should point them to the nearest book store where they can both find a nice read on personal space and manners, as well as a shocking series on the beautiful human body and all of it's brilliant and natural functions.

Rinny_D

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[/quote]
I am glad I live here then! I just don't get why people feel like they have to be nude in those situations. Is it so terrible to wear a swimsuit? Is it really that hard? It's like people are just nude for the shock of it all sometimes. (And I'm not talking about BF, just public nudity/nude beaches/etc).
[/quote]

Well then I suppose you had better stay home and shut your windows and never turn on the TV or radio Kid. If YOU want to cover YOURSELF up, go ahead, we aren't stopping you, but don't complain when a NEEDS to EAT.

Also BFHI recommend EXCLUSIVE BREASTFEEDING and AGAINST any BOTTLES, TEETS or DUMMIES..... So NO mothers should not HAVE to express and bottle feed their child just because you don't want to see it.

ITS A HUMAN RIGHT . World Health Organisation!!

tlsegar

Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:

As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.

Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:

Although, I understand that to non-Americans, all Americans are "yanks", as a southerner I take great offense to being called any variation of a yankee.

Wow. Are you serious? Is this because of the Civil War?

I was actually only half joking. I would rather not get started on the Civil War. It has less to do with the Civil War itself and more to do with the differences in cultures between northerners and southerners.

Bahet

I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

I am glad I live here then! I just don't get why people feel like they have to be nude in those situations. Is it so terrible to wear a swimsuit? Is it really that hard? It's like people are just nude for the shock of it all sometimes. (And I'm not talking about BF, just public nudity/nude beaches/etc).

It's not a shock factor except to uptight Americans. To them it's no more shocking than seeing someone wearing shorts in summertime.

There was a time in American history not that long ago even when seeing a woman in pants was shocking, appalling, and practically obscene. I you see a woman in jeans and a T-shirt do you think anything of it? Of course not! Because it'sthe norm. But if someone came over here from a place like Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia where the norm is for women to be covered head to toe they'd see it as shocking and appalling. They'd have very much the same reaction to a woman in jeans and a T-shirt as you do to a woman nursing in public or being topless at the beach in Europe. But to them, it's just like being in jeans and a T-shirt.

christine24t

Is it normally prudish people who venture outside of their comfort zone and explore other cultures? I would think not. So they probably wouldn't have to concern themselves with scenarios you cited.

Different countries have different customs and social norms. You're not bothered by bare boobs. I would rather not have to look at them. I can't see how your opinion is better or worse than mine. And knowing that about myself, I don't put myself in settings where I would be made to feel uncomfortable. What is wrong with that?

This is how I feel. I know certain social situations can make me uncomfortable, so I try and avoid them. If I went to Europe, I would certainly not go to a nude beach. But if someone stripped down next to me at a restaurant, then yes, I'd be uncomfortable and rightly so. It is not the proper venue for it. Just because being naked is natural does not mean it's always appropriate.

As an example of our craziness: My roommate's cousin graduated from high school last year, and for her generation it's normal to earn bracelets based on what sexual acts you are willing to perform and it's not uncommon for teenagers to have group sex parties. And some people are concerned about breastfeeding?! A reevaluation of our views about sex and sexuality is in order. If we had a healthier attitude, maybe we wouldn't have so many unhealthy sexual behaviors and women's breasts wouldn't be seen as purely a sexual "private" body part.

I've heard so much about this, yet have actually never heard of anyone really doing it. It was kind of popularized in a few select cases and a Jodi Picoult book I read. I think it's hype, and nobody actually does that.

Also BFHI recommend EXCLUSIVE BREASTFEEDING and AGAINST any BOTTLES, TEETS or DUMMIES.....

Just because they recommend breastfeeding doesn't mean that bottle-feeding is wrong. Some women that want to BF can't, and to say that bottles or teets are wrong is just sad to read. This is why some women feel so guilty about not BF.

KarmaxKitty

I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

I am glad I live here then! I just don't get why people feel like they have to be nude in those situations. Is it so terrible to wear a swimsuit? Is it really that hard? It's like people are just nude for the shock of it all sometimes. (And I'm not talking about BF, just public nudity/nude beaches/etc).

Because it's the cultural norm. I suggest you stay on your side of the pond if you don't ever want to be exposed to other cultures and cultural values.

Amen. I came back to America after years of living in Europe and was so freaking confused by all of this nonsense. It's a boob, for the love of ice cream... It has a function!!! It's not like some random dude whipped it out in a sea of children. It's a woman doing what her body was made to do: FEED HER CHILD.

And nude beaches? Never been to one. But if you go to a sauna in germany, it's way more relaxing than being in one in america. everyone is naked AND NO ONE CARES. In america, if you even cough people get offended.

It's a public space and these women aren't violating any rules. GET OVER IT.

dlei456

Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:

As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.

Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:

Hey - that's not all of us!

Duly noted!! (and the "we don't care what the world thinks of us" actually represents a small number of Americans, in my experience.)

My experience has been the opposite. I suppose it's the part of the country I'm from. But I think overall, at the end of the day, most Americans are not terribly concerned with how the rest of the world views us. That could be good or bad.


I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!

How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:

Is it normally prudish people who venture outside of their comfort zone and explore other cultures? I would think not. So they probably wouldn't have to concern themselves with scenarios you cited.

Different countries have different customs and social norms. You're not bothered by bare boobs. I would rather not have to look at them. I can't see how your opinion is better or worse than mine. And knowing that about myself, I don't put myself in settings where I would be made to feel uncomfortable. What is wrong with that?

This coupled with your North vs. South comment makes me think you have a hard time stepping out of your comfort zone. Basically, you really like everyone around you to have the same opinion and culture as you?

calamitydown

Is it normally prudish people who venture outside of their comfort zone and explore other cultures? I would think not. So they probably wouldn't have to concern themselves with scenarios you cited.

Different countries have different customs and social norms. You're not bothered by bare boobs. I would rather not have to look at them. I can't see how your opinion is better or worse than mine. And knowing that about myself, I don't put myself in settings where I would be made to feel uncomfortable. What is wrong with that?

i agree, different people have different opinions. i feel like all these moms being passive aggressive on here are being more rude than the people they claim to be "ignorant" are. kudos to the moms/other MFPers who are respectful to both sides of the argument!