Nudity - and your children
Replies
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My mom still walks around naked in my presence...no problemo. My dad, on the other hand, Never. Never never. He's much more prudish/modest/shy/whatever adjective you prefer.
Dude, I've never seen my dad naked, and I thank GOD for that.0 -
I do think that seeing boobs is one thing, and seeing a wiener is another.
Yeah.0 -
I have four kids (now all grown) and two grandchildren boy 9 and girl 7. We have always taught them, by age 3, that a closed door (locked or not) means STOP and knock and WAIT for an answer before entering. It's about respecting bounderies, period. That being said I never freaked out if they saw us naked because we didn't want to scar them about the human body. I agree that when they start to ask questions it's time to start locking the doors. We were always open and honest about body differences and development. They all seem to be pretty well adjusted adults. The grandkids still hop into our bed if they are having a bad dream or if they wake up super early. We make sure we have something on when they stay over. Other than that we don't get too uptight. Though the days of snuggling with the almost 10 year old are coming to and end.
There does come a point when the "family bed" is not cool. There is also some concern by social scientists/psychologists, that among siblings and kids/parents that nudity in the home can be sexually stimulating, also not good for psycho/social development. 0 -
Another good reason to sell your kids on the black market.
Speaking of which.. I'm all out of Caucasion/Asian half breed children to sell. Any volunteers to help me make some more?
We'll split the profits 60/40. :flowerforyou:
If you're asian, i'm in.0 -
I don't think there's anything abnormal about young children seeing their mom and/or dad naked in some circumstances. They understand that people are sometimes naked in their bedrooms and bathrooms, and I don't think it's some traumatic experience for them to see that. I saw my parents naked (or worse, having sex) many times because I was a rude little kid who would barge into their bedroom/bathroom without knocking, and I turned out alright.
Really, the only reason I would caution against being naked anywhere else in the house is because no matter what you do at home, your kids are still going to grow up in a society that frowns on nakedness outside of specific scenarios like sex and showering (if you live in North America, anyway), so it's probably best that they see their parents drawing a line between places where it's okay to be naked and places where it's more appropriate to have some clothes on. My mom had a habit of walking through the house in just her underwear, and my sister would do the same thing growing up until a very awkward incident when one of my brother's friends was over.0 -
I sometimes take a shower with my 3 year old... Its just faster... and I'm naked all the time...I had never even thought it could be weird...interesting
I also like to have someone talk to me when I am in the shower.. I think I have taken many showers with best friends right there..0 -
I also like to have someone talk to me when I am in the shower..
I'm quite good at conversation I'll have you know.0 -
I shower with my baby boy hes 8 months so doesnt care. Iv picked him up when im naked and taken him back to bed.
hoppymom - I agree about the "door shut so dont come in" rule. My partners son (not my own) just burst in to any room without warning. I think il not care about nudity in front of mine til he gets probably school age or im not comfortable with it0 -
Sounds like you and your wife were the ones 'ogling'. Maybe you should deal with your issues about sex and let the woman feed her baby without staring at her.on the same subject , sort of, how about going out for a meal at the local pub today and a woman was breastfeeding her baby while we ate, surely she could have sat in a corner, but no, right in the middle of everyone, even my wife said she could have made an effort to protect herself from all the ogling young men
:noway:0 -
For all of the "puritanical" and "taboo" American comments...
Is there anything wrong with choosing to be modest as a parent, and avoiding being naked around them? I'm not talking about never teaching kids about their bodies, but what is wrong with being modest? It's a choice, and should be respected as much as the decision to allow nudity in the home.
Also, what harm is there in a society choosing not to allow public nudity -- even at the beach? Is anyone's rights really being infringed because they can't air out their cooter on the beach?0 -
I agree, there is nothing wrong with what you're doing. I've always been the same way with my son and now if he accidentally walks in when I'm changing, he'll just turn around and walk back out the door and talk to me from the hallway like nothing happened. He's 11, so I'm happy that he's not grossed out and has zero issues about changing in front of me. I remember when I lived at my parents still from the time I was like 8-18 when I moved out, I would change in my room with my butt stuck against the door so nobody could walk in and see me change and if I saw my mom accidentally I would almost barf. lol, this was the LAST way I wanted my child to feel about nudity. it's normal, everyone has a body and there's nothing weird about it.Your kid, your home, your rules.
Personally I think it's good for kids in a way. Teaches them that it's normal and not to be ashamed of their bodies. I think people that go too far the other way are saddling their kids with some crazy hang ups and emotional issues. But to each their own.0 -
My mom still walks around naked in my presence...no problemo. My dad, on the other hand, Never. Never never. He's much more prudish/modest/shy/whatever adjective you prefer.
Dude, I've never seen my dad naked, and I thank GOD for that.
I just wonder if one day my son will want to be able to say that about his mom!! KWIM
No way is going to be the right way for everyone!! Lets just hope our kids all grow up to be happy and healthy
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My son who is now thirteen has chosen not to look when he surprises me in the bathroom because he thought no one was in it. When he was 3 and 4 though, he thought nothing of it and only after spending the summer with my extremely modest mom and younger high school age siblings, he came home and told me to put some clothes on. LOL. Basically, it's personal preference. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
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For all of the "puritanical" and "taboo" American comments...
Is there anything wrong with choosing to be modest as a parent, and avoiding being naked around them? I'm not talking about never teaching kids about their bodies, but what is wrong with being modest? It's a choice, and should be respected as much as the decision to allow nudity in the home.
Also, what harm is there in a society choosing not to allow public nudity -- even at the beach? Is anyone's rights really being infringed because they can't air out their cooter on the beach?
I'm fine with anyone making any choice they want to for themselves. When they start to make choices about what I am allowed to do with my life is when I have a problem.
As far as what harm is there when society doesn't allow nudity, well nudity does not mean completely naked all the time. Right now it could refer to a woman having her breasts exposed. Years ago it meant a woman was exposing too much elbow. In parts of the middle east today some women can't show anything more than their eyes.
You see a trend? Mostly it's men telling women their bodies are shameful and need to be covered up. I don't much care for it myself.0 -
It's mixed in my house... my wife will often (After a breif heads up...) run from room to room naked, or topless, or what ever... but myself... my kids have never seen my nude at any age, and since my daughters have been old enough to bath themselves I have never seen them topless or otherwise... thank God... they are both teens.0
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Another good reason to sell your kids on the black market.
Speaking of which.. I'm all out of Caucasion/Asian half breed children to sell. Any volunteers to help me make some more?
We'll split the profits 60/40. :flowerforyou:
I have three already, they're quite cute... I bet we could make a killing!0 -
Another good reason to sell your kids on the black market.
Speaking of which.. I'm all out of Caucasion/Asian half breed children to sell. Any volunteers to help me make some more?
We'll split the profits 60/40. :flowerforyou:
If you're asian, i'm in.
As a matter of fact I am.
Let the baby making commence!0 -
I agree -- we don't need laws governing how we choose to handle this in the home.
I'm fine with anyone making any choice they want to for themselves. When they start to make choices about what I am allowed to do with my life is when I have a problem.For all of the "puritanical" and "taboo" American comments...
Is there anything wrong with choosing to be modest as a parent, and avoiding being naked around them? I'm not talking about never teaching kids about their bodies, but what is wrong with being modest? It's a choice, and should be respected as much as the decision to allow nudity in the home.
Also, what harm is there in a society choosing not to allow public nudity -- even at the beach? Is anyone's rights really being infringed because they can't air out their cooter on the beach?
As far as what harm is there when society doesn't allow nudity, well nudity does not mean completely naked all the time. Right now it could refer to a woman having her breasts exposed. Years ago it meant a woman was exposing too much elbow. In parts of the middle east today some women can't show anything more than their eyes.
You see a trend? Mostly it's men telling women their bodies are shameful and need to be covered up. I don't much care for it myself.
As far as public nudity, the other extreme (bukas) is awful, but American society and the laws that it adopts, aren't leaning in that direction. Quite the opposite, actually. Most anti-nudity laws in the US are just that -- preventing nudity. You have to be on the verge of showing genitalia to break the law.0 -
Growing up we saw our parents naked in the bathroom and getting dressed and no emotional scar on any of us (I'm the eldest of 4 kids) and I've bathed with my siblings, showered with them when they were babies (10 years difference between us) and nope, still no scars.
I've looked after my parents when they were sick, helped them to the shower, toilet, helped dress my dad after his hip replacement and helped him undress at bed time when he couldn't manage his pj's without help to balance. No scarring on me.
When I was living with my ex and her daughter, her daughter saw us both naked and had no bother with it - she asked questions about our bodies and why we looked different to her but took the answers we gave her in her stride.
Being naked is fine - I think in terms of parenting, I'll echo what other people have said - parents can decide when and what to do with their kids in their homes and kids will generally let you know if they don't want to see you naked and vice versa.0 -
Good god...America is such a puritanical society. What is wrong with nudity and the human body? We were all born that way...
The only reason why being naked or being naked around your kids is perceived as wrong is because we've been taught that way. Why not teach your children that their bodies are a good thing, that being naked can be natural. Your kids will let you know when it is time for more modesty, and when they don't feel personaly comfortable.
This is exactly my thoughts.0 -
I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.0
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Its not weird, but the kids learn how to knock and not just walk in. I am the same way I do not lock doors in my house when changing or bathroom I need to hear what the dog and my son are doing. My son is 8 now and he has learned to respect the door or he may see something he doesn't want to.0
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At 5 years old, I don't think it's a big deal, but as he gets older, it would be inapprpriate.0
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My story: I'm a single mom of a five year old. I do not lock doors when I'm in the bathroom, changing, etc. I close the door slightly and do my business, but I want to be able to hear him at all times. If he flings the door open with some superhero he wants me to assemble, well, he's going to see boobs.
I personally just don't think nudity should be so taboo, but, i don't want to traumatize my kid with the sight of my knockers *LOL*
I'm not a single parent, and I don't close the doors when I'm showering or whatever if my husband's at work. The only reason I do it when he's at home is just because I enjoy 5 minutes of privacy on the weekends to finish my shower in peace. But the kids have both seen me naked, in my underwear, without a shirt, whatever. It's fine. My daughter knows that my body is kind of what hers will look like when she's a grown-up. She has walked in when I was dealing with monthly business, so we've talked all about that. She knows that when a woman has a baby, her boobs make milk for the baby. My son also knows all of these things, except obviously that his body is different than mine, so we talk about how he will look more like Daddy, and that daddies don't make milk or grow babies inside them. They're not scarred. It's normal for them.
And they do understand modesty. They know that it's ok to be naked around family, but it's not ok to be naked around guests or in public or at someone else's house. They know that their private parts are not for anybody's eyes or hands. And they know that not everyone thinks it's funny when they randomly yell, "Poop!" even though we think it's funny at home.
Personally, I think the communication is more important than the actual nudity. We TALK about our bodies. They know the boundaries, and that's important. And I believe that it opens the door for those bigger conversations as they get older.0 -
Why not teach your children that their bodies are a good thing, that being naked can be natural. Your kids will let you know when it is time for more modesty, and when they don't feel personaly comfortable.
Maybe they will also tell us when they need to know about drugs, sex, birthcontrol and other items that we prudes used to teach our children.
Modesty can be a natural trait for some, but others need to be taught. Teaching your child that the body is a good thing is done by encouraging diet and exercise not encouraging nudity for the sake of nudity.
If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...0 -
A kid doesn't have to see their folks naked to "embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it".I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.
I don't believe that being naked in front of your kid has much, if anything, to do that at all. One can choose not to be naked in front of their kid, and still raise them as healthy human beings without hang-ups -- like me!0 -
My take was always, if they are old enough to remember it, then probably not a good idea. It's not something I would make a huge issue of, but I know how my teenage boys feel/felt at the thought of certain things regarding their mom. And I think I did right by them, by making sure they didn't grow up with that image. That's also the case with my daughter. I may be wrong about it. (Sex, body parts and all that were always discussed, nothing was off limits except detailed information of mine and dads encounters) But i just have images of my mom nude, and I was never comfortable with that. And so I didn't want to have those lingering thoughts/feelings/images for my kids.
Also I think if your five year old isn't able to be alone a few minutes while you take a shower (considering safety is in place) for whatever reason, I have a son who could NOT be left a lone for one minute, then showering should probably take place while he's asleep. I think at 5 they really need to start learning boundaries, whether or not your comfortable with him seeing you nude or not.
Just my thoughts, it's certainly your house, and your child, and having been a single mom of 3 for ten years, I know how difficult that can be.0 -
If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...
Umm... isn't that how you change society's perspectives in the first place?
And who are you to tell someone what they can and can't teach their children?0 -
Well put. To each his own. I don't see any advantages or disadvantages to being naked in front of your kids. To say that choosing to be modest is a disadvantage is ridiculous. Plenty of us are healthy adults now, and grew up without seeing our folks naked.
Maybe they will also tell us when they need to know about drugs, sex, birthcontrol and other items that we prudes used to teach our children.Why not teach your children that their bodies are a good thing, that being naked can be natural. Your kids will let you know when it is time for more modesty, and when they don't feel personaly comfortable.
Modesty can be a natural trait for some, but others need to be taught. Teaching your child that the body is a good thing is done by encouraging diet and exercise not encouraging nudity for the sake of nudity.
If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...0 -
I absolutely agree!
I also lived next door to a family where nudity was embraced. The parents walked around naked all the time. I know for a fact that their son grew up with no respect for women, and some very odd sexual ideas.
A kid doesn't have to see their folks naked to "embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it".I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.
I don't believe that being naked in front of your kid has much, if anything, to do that at all. One can choose not to be naked in front of their kid, and still raise them as healthy human beings without hang-ups -- like me!0
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