Nudity - and your children

mishaky

I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.

blink1021

Its not weird, but the kids learn how to knock and not just walk in. I am the same way I do not lock doors in my house when changing or bathroom I need to hear what the dog and my son are doing. My son is 8 now and he has learned to respect the door or he may see something he doesn't want to.

Elizabeth_C34

At 5 years old, I don't think it's a big deal, but as he gets older, it would be inapprpriate.

ajbeans

My story: I'm a single mom of a five year old. I do not lock doors when I'm in the bathroom, changing, etc. I close the door slightly and do my business, but I want to be able to hear him at all times. If he flings the door open with some superhero he wants me to assemble, well, he's going to see boobs.

I personally just don't think nudity should be so taboo, but, i don't want to traumatize my kid with the sight of my knockers *LOL*

I'm not a single parent, and I don't close the doors when I'm showering or whatever if my husband's at work. The only reason I do it when he's at home is just because I enjoy 5 minutes of privacy on the weekends to finish my shower in peace. But the kids have both seen me naked, in my underwear, without a shirt, whatever. It's fine. My daughter knows that my body is kind of what hers will look like when she's a grown-up. She has walked in when I was dealing with monthly business, so we've talked all about that. She knows that when a woman has a baby, her boobs make milk for the baby. My son also knows all of these things, except obviously that his body is different than mine, so we talk about how he will look more like Daddy, and that daddies don't make milk or grow babies inside them. They're not scarred. It's normal for them.

And they do understand modesty. They know that it's ok to be naked around family, but it's not ok to be naked around guests or in public or at someone else's house. They know that their private parts are not for anybody's eyes or hands. And they know that not everyone thinks it's funny when they randomly yell, "Poop!" even though we think it's funny at home.

Personally, I think the communication is more important than the actual nudity. We TALK about our bodies. They know the boundaries, and that's important. And I believe that it opens the door for those bigger conversations as they get older.

mcdonl

Why not teach your children that their bodies are a good thing, that being naked can be natural. Your kids will let you know when it is time for more modesty, and when they don't feel personaly comfortable.

Maybe they will also tell us when they need to know about drugs, sex, birthcontrol and other items that we prudes used to teach our children.

Modesty can be a natural trait for some, but others need to be taught. Teaching your child that the body is a good thing is done by encouraging diet and exercise not encouraging nudity for the sake of nudity.

If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...

CaptainGordo

I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.

A kid doesn't have to see their folks naked to "embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it".

I don't believe that being naked in front of your kid has much, if anything, to do that at all. One can choose not to be naked in front of their kid, and still raise them as healthy human beings without hang-ups -- like me!

Becky1971

My take was always, if they are old enough to remember it, then probably not a good idea. It's not something I would make a huge issue of, but I know how my teenage boys feel/felt at the thought of certain things regarding their mom. And I think I did right by them, by making sure they didn't grow up with that image. That's also the case with my daughter. I may be wrong about it. (Sex, body parts and all that were always discussed, nothing was off limits except detailed information of mine and dads encounters) But i just have images of my mom nude, and I was never comfortable with that. And so I didn't want to have those lingering thoughts/feelings/images for my kids.

Also I think if your five year old isn't able to be alone a few minutes while you take a shower (considering safety is in place) for whatever reason, I have a son who could NOT be left a lone for one minute, then showering should probably take place while he's asleep. I think at 5 they really need to start learning boundaries, whether or not your comfortable with him seeing you nude or not.

Just my thoughts, it's certainly your house, and your child, and having been a single mom of 3 for ten years, I know how difficult that can be.

UsedToBeHusky

If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...

Umm... isn't that how you change society's perspectives in the first place?

And who are you to tell someone what they can and can't teach their children?

CaptainGordo

Why not teach your children that their bodies are a good thing, that being naked can be natural. Your kids will let you know when it is time for more modesty, and when they don't feel personaly comfortable.

Maybe they will also tell us when they need to know about drugs, sex, birthcontrol and other items that we prudes used to teach our children.

Modesty can be a natural trait for some, but others need to be taught. Teaching your child that the body is a good thing is done by encouraging diet and exercise not encouraging nudity for the sake of nudity.

If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...

Well put. To each his own. I don't see any advantages or disadvantages to being naked in front of your kids. To say that choosing to be modest is a disadvantage is ridiculous. Plenty of us are healthy adults now, and grew up without seeing our folks naked.

Becky1971

I absolutely agree!

I also lived next door to a family where nudity was embraced. The parents walked around naked all the time. I know for a fact that their son grew up with no respect for women, and some very odd sexual ideas.

I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.

A kid doesn't have to see their folks naked to "embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it".

I don't believe that being naked in front of your kid has much, if anything, to do that at all. One can choose not to be naked in front of their kid, and still raise them as healthy human beings without hang-ups -- like me!

tmm01

I'm a mum of two boys (7 and 9 yrs) they quite often see me naked, getting dressed, showering etc. In an otherwise all male house, its quite good for them as they learn about the female body, without any hang ups. They both still run around completely naked after a bath, and don't think there is anything wrong. When they were very small we used to bath together, but I wouldn't do that now.
I'm also very honest in answering any questions they may have in a factual and age appropriate way. I always insist on proper terms for parts of the body, so that silliness doesn't start.

But this is very much a decision for each household to make. What is right for one won't be right for another. If you and your children feel confortable then its fine. If one or other parties start having a problem then maybe its time to reconsider.

Kat5343

When my kids were little I did the same thing. No locked doors, period. If they need me I am available. Then my son got old enough to say "Mom!!!" and look the other way. Then you know its time.

veganbaum

I absolutely agree!

I also lived next door to a family where nudity was embraced. The parents walked around naked all the time. I know for a fact that their son grew up with no respect for women, and some very odd sexual ideas.

I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.

A kid doesn't have to see their folks naked to "embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it".

I don't believe that being naked in front of your kid has much, if anything, to do that at all. One can choose not to be naked in front of their kid, and still raise them as healthy human beings without hang-ups -- like me!

Oh my gosh! That's completely anecdotal, just like what I'm about to add is. I mentioned this in the public breastfeeding thread that some people thought went on way too long (um, have you ever tried NOT allowing your finger to act of its own accord when clicking on threads?) - my brother and I were raised around people who went nude - not just our single mother, but her friends as well. They would sunbathe nude, be in the sauna nude, etc. The kids would go swimming nude also, at least before physical changes happened. It was the teenagers who were often covered up (likely due to becoming comfortable with changes in your own body). My brother and I are not scarred (or have "odd sexual ideas" - of course, I don't know what your idea of "odd" is). My brother shows so much more respect for women than A LOT of guys I know. It's all cultural - and even in the U.S. there are subcultures. Certainly all the cultures around the world that are more open about nudity are not raising damaged children. While we may not be able to go nude, generally, in public in the U.S., it's not difficult to raise children in such as an environment as I was raised who can still present an acceptable level of "modesty" to the mainstream.

mcdonl

If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...

Umm... isn't that how you change society's perspectives in the first place?

And who are you to tell someone what they can and can't teach their children?

mcdonl

veganbaum

For all of the "puritanical" and "taboo" American comments...

Is there anything wrong with choosing to be modest as a parent, and avoiding being naked around them? I'm not talking about never teaching kids about their bodies, but what is wrong with being modest? It's a choice, and should be respected as much as the decision to allow nudity in the home.

Also, what harm is there in a society choosing not to allow public nudity -- even at the beach? Is anyone's rights really being infringed because they can't air out their cooter on the beach?

I'm fine with anyone making any choice they want to for themselves. When they start to make choices about what I am allowed to do with my life is when I have a problem.

As far as what harm is there when society doesn't allow nudity, well nudity does not mean completely naked all the time. Right now it could refer to a woman having her breasts exposed. Years ago it meant a woman was exposing too much elbow. In parts of the middle east today some women can't show anything more than their eyes.

You see a trend? Mostly it's men telling women their bodies are shameful and need to be covered up. I don't much care for it myself.

You do realize that your posts here and in the breastfeeding thread are far too logical, right?

UsedToBeHusky

If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...

Umm... isn't that how you change society's perspectives in the first place?

And who are you to tell someone what they can and can't teach their children?

mcdonl

And... divine right... gave you the authority to tell me what to teach my kids??

UsedToBeHusky

Double post

SinIsIn

For all of the "puritanical" and "taboo" American comments...

Is there anything wrong with choosing to be modest as a parent, and avoiding being naked around them? I'm not talking about never teaching kids about their bodies, but what is wrong with being modest? It's a choice, and should be respected as much as the decision to allow nudity in the home.

Also, what harm is there in a society choosing not to allow public nudity -- even at the beach? Is anyone's rights really being infringed because they can't air out their cooter on the beach?

:laugh: you said "cooter".

Becky1971

Exhibitionism is considered overt sexual abuse, at least in the state of Oregon. Not my definition, theirs. I am in no way saying http://www.dhs.state.or.us/spd/tools/cm/aps/community/sex_abuse.pdf
I am in no way saying that this is all wrong, I simply stated my thoughts about it, and my experience.And saying that someone who was raised around his nude mom and dad, and is now sexually messed up, doesn't mean I'm saying that everyone who was raised like this is, or would be.

I absolutely agree!

I also lived next door to a family where nudity was embraced. The parents walked around naked all the time. I know for a fact that their son grew up with no respect for women, and some very odd sexual ideas.

I do it all the time with mine, even though I came from a culture to be naked in-front of anyone is a taboo, I think its good for kids in a way so they can embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it.

A kid doesn't have to see their folks naked to "embrace their own body and not be ashamed of it".

I don't believe that being naked in front of your kid has much, if anything, to do that at all. One can choose not to be naked in front of their kid, and still raise them as healthy human beings without hang-ups -- like me!

Oh my gosh! That's completely anecdotal, just like what I'm about to add is. I mentioned this in the public breastfeeding thread that some people thought went on way too long (um, have you ever tried NOT allowing your finger to act of its own accord when clicking on threads?) - my brother and I were raised around people who went nude - not just our single mother, but her friends as well. They would sunbathe nude, be in the sauna nude, etc. The kids would go swimming nude also, at least before physical changes happened. It was the teenagers who were often covered up (likely due to becoming comfortable with changes in your own body). My brother and I are not scarred (or have "odd sexual ideas" - of course, I don't know what your idea of "odd" is). My brother shows so much more respect for women than A LOT of guys I know. It's all cultural - and even in the U.S. there are subcultures. Certainly all the cultures around the world that are more open about nudity are not raising damaged children. While we may not be able to go nude, generally, in public in the U.S., it's not difficult to raise children in such as an environment as I was raised who can still present an acceptable level of "modesty" to the mainstream.

mcdonl

If you want to change society, do it... just dont use your kids as a tool in the process...

Umm... isn't that how you change society's perspectives in the first place?

And who are you to tell someone what they can and can't teach their children?

mcdonl

And... divine right... gave you the authority to tell me what to teach my kids??

I dont recall telling you what to do at all. I simply said if you want to change society... do it yourself. If you children decide that they want to join in then let it be their decision. Relax.