Your Thought On Age Difference?

ravenwcatz

I am 25 and my boyfriend is 43. We've been together for awhile... not a great while, but long enough to have a good, stable relationship without all the rose-colored-glasses nonsense. We've got a good bit in common, we both enjoy good music (Though our opinions of what that constitutes sometimes differ), and good film. We're on a similar level, as far as intelligence goes, and have plenty of good, stimulating conversation. I've always preferred to date older than myself, and my most stable relationships were with people at least five years older than me.
When I was nineteen, I dated a 26 year old, and we were together for two years... ultimately, I realized that we had very little in common, and that he was more enamored with the person he wanted me to be, rather than the person I was. But we're still good friends, and we've both come to understand and not resent each other for not being the people we expected the other to be.

That being said, I have always acknowledged that my dating much older men is not without drawbacks. People tend to have a lot of complicated issues... Some people have been married and divorced, which leaves one with scars. Some people have never been married, which makes you wonder what about them is so resistant to that lifestyle. (Ultimately, that bothers me less than it probably should, as I have no intention of really settling in either, but it's a valid point to consider) Mostly, it just becomes a question of how much you are willing to deal with, and in return, how much of your youthful silliness is the other person willing to deal with?

kb455

In your ex's case, I think that's pretty skeevy. Its not the age difference that's sketchy, its the fact that she's still a teenager! In OTHER cases, I think if both parties are okay with the age gap, that's all that matters. My mom married someone ten years younger than her (I believe they were 27 and 37 when they got together) and they've been happily married over 10 years now.

EbonyEthereal

Actually, the age of consent only applies to people from the ages 16-24 in terms of a sexual relationship (in Florida anyway. I can't speak for anywhere else.) Sex with a 17 year old when you're 25 or older is still statutory rape.

livinginwoods

So, if i have this right.. Your ex is 31, and he has (at least) 2 kids. 1 with you, who is 4, and one from a previous, who is 14?

Now that's sorted in my head! lol

Firstly, 17 / 18, is far to young for any grown man to date. Age differences are fine once both parties are grown, and know who they are... but 17 is a child, and 18 is pretty d*mn close.

Your ex sounds like a dream by the way :noway:

Secondly, my Dad (who is almost 60) is now married to his 3rd wife, who is about 20 years his junior. Now that doesn't worry me at all, both are adults, make each other happy, and have made an informed decision.

What does still get me a little is that she's only about 6 years older than my eldest (half) sister. Not a huge issue now my sis is coming up 40, it would have been horrible for her if my dad had met his wife when she was 15 and the woman was 21.

I think It's kind of 'extra' creepy when kids are involved. Your other half shouldn't be a sister / brother to your children. On a more sinister note, If your ex is looking at a 17 year old girl as girlfriend material, what on earth does he see when he looks at his 14 year old child? Is he going to start dating her friends next? Eurgh, just too gross.

Sorry, rant over.

It is what you make it when you are close to age to your "step children". My husbands son is 5 years younger than I am. The same age of my little brother. But it's never been weird between us. We are friends. He is cool with it because his Dad is happy. That's what matters to him and I appreciate that there is no weirdness. I jokingly call him a my step-son but in no way do I ever think of him as that.

rml_16

Actually, the age of consent only applies to people from the ages 16-24 in terms of a sexual relationship (in Florida anyway. I can't speak for anywhere else.) Sex with a 17 year old when you're 25 or older is still statutory rape.

Every state has different laws. In New York, at 17, you're legal. Period.