SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater

katzmeow_83
katzmeow_83 Posts: 27 Member
WE ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER!!!! WE MET AND HAVE BEEN DATING BEFORE THEY EVEN MET!!!! WE LIVE IN DIFFERENT STATES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
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Replies

  • Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me...

    Why did you continue this after the first? Did you know he was with someone going into this relationship with him?
  • It's none of your business. Now that you know all this, if you willingly participate with him, you're just as guilty. Quit it.
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
    I would cut him loose. And if he won't leave you alone, threaten to tell his wife. Totally toxic relationship. You deserve better!
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Forget him and MOVE ON! Why do you want to be a homewrecker?
  • LadyKT
    LadyKT Posts: 287 Member
    I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all

    Once a cheater, always a cheater. That statement has never ever lied to me!
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    Walk away. Stop reading his texts, stop taking his calls, and stop stalking his family on FB,etc. Just make a clean break, and go live your life. Sounds like you have been living your life for him....no more. Get away from him,,,,,no more drama or wondering, and go live for you.
  • Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    It's none of your business. Now that you know all this, if you willingly participate with him, you're just as guilty. Quit it.

    Thats the problem, she admits to 'three times'.... why is it the first time isnt enough to say "OH HELL NO!"?????
  • Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!

    Amen Crystal! Tell it like it is!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I guess it depends on what your objective is. Do you want to do the right thing, for yourself and for everyone involved? Then break it off with him, NOW, and do not consider continuing this. Or, do you want to create a whole bunch of drama that isn't going to benefit anyone? If so, then tell the wife.
  • CAKEDOC
    CAKEDOC Posts: 110 Member
    LET HIM GO! SELF ESTEEM ISSUES KEEPING YOU WITH A MARRIED MAN? NOT A GOOD LOOK! I;M JUST SAYING! THINK BETTER OF YOURSELF THAN TO BE THE 'OTHER WOMAN"
  • jlnk
    jlnk Posts: 188 Member
    Grow up. Life isn't a soap opera. This isn't just an "OMG" situation. This has the potential to do real damage. Be the adult in the situation and walk away.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    The only reason you want to tell her is to screw up HIS life because he f'ed you over. And you gave him permission to do it when you continued to be involved with him after he MARRIED someone else. You've made just as many mistakes here as he has, and airing his dirty laundry, as you put it, would just be one more mistake. You want a resolution to this situation? Stop seeing him. Stop talking to him. Stop having any kind of contact with him, his wife, his friends, his family, etc. Find some self-respect, and move on with your life.
  • CAKEDOC
    CAKEDOC Posts: 110 Member
    Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!
    PREACH!
  • sandy2006
    sandy2006 Posts: 483 Member
    You need to cut all communication off with this creep. Let their marriage have a chance.
  • coatsie79
    coatsie79 Posts: 187 Member
    Grow up. Life isn't a soap opera. This isn't just an "OMG" situation. This has the potential to do real damage. Be the adult in the situation and walk away.

    This ^^^
  • jlnk
    jlnk Posts: 188 Member
    Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.

    ^^This. TOTALLY!
  • SavCal71
    SavCal71 Posts: 350 Member
    Get out of the relationship. Unless/until he is divorced, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    Really folks??? this sounds like a bad Jerry Springer show...
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
    No need to hurt a family, but.....
    NEVER SPEAK TO THIS GUY AGAIN!
  • is this shyt for real? please tell me this story is made up. I sincerely hope I raised my daughters to be smarter than this!
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Really folks??? this sounds like a bad Jerry Springer show...
    JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
  • tlsegar
    tlsegar Posts: 185 Member
    What would you hope to gain out of telling her? If you really want him to leave you alone then tell them he should immediately cease all attempts at communication with you. If he does not, threaten to have a restraining order placed against him and the papers served at his house. Then ask him if he would like to try to explain that to his wife. If you don't want to hurt her, then there are other ways of going about cutting off communication from him. But you need to honest with yourself about what is your real motivation in all this.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.

    ^^This. TOTALLY!
    I second this!!!
  • first of all you are both in the wrong. if you know hes married, then leave him alone and let him be with his family. he is married to HER, he adopted HER child. you need to move on to someone that isnt married.
  • MsTanya77
    MsTanya77 Posts: 357 Member
    Walk away. Stop reading his texts, stop taking his calls, and stop stalking his family on FB,etc. Just make a clean break, and go live your life. Sounds like you have been living your life for him....no more. Get away from him,,,,,no more drama or wondering, and go live for you.


    EXCELLENT STATEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    change your number
  • AMEN!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Cut off contact and forget about him. Why do you want to bring destruction into innocent lives? The truth comes out eventually. You don't need to be the bearer.
This discussion has been closed.