SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater

Options
24567…15

Replies

  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Options
    I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
    No need to hurt a family, but.....
    NEVER SPEAK TO THIS GUY AGAIN!
  • fitnatic67
    fitnatic67 Posts: 154
    Options
    is this shyt for real? please tell me this story is made up. I sincerely hope I raised my daughters to be smarter than this!
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Options
    Really folks??? this sounds like a bad Jerry Springer show...
    JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
  • tlsegar
    tlsegar Posts: 185 Member
    Options
    What would you hope to gain out of telling her? If you really want him to leave you alone then tell them he should immediately cease all attempts at communication with you. If he does not, threaten to have a restraining order placed against him and the papers served at his house. Then ask him if he would like to try to explain that to his wife. If you don't want to hurt her, then there are other ways of going about cutting off communication from him. But you need to honest with yourself about what is your real motivation in all this.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    Options
    Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.

    ^^This. TOTALLY!
    I second this!!!
  • Queenb62303
    Queenb62303 Posts: 77
    Options
    first of all you are both in the wrong. if you know hes married, then leave him alone and let him be with his family. he is married to HER, he adopted HER child. you need to move on to someone that isnt married.
  • MsTanya77
    MsTanya77 Posts: 357 Member
    Options
    Walk away. Stop reading his texts, stop taking his calls, and stop stalking his family on FB,etc. Just make a clean break, and go live your life. Sounds like you have been living your life for him....no more. Get away from him,,,,,no more drama or wondering, and go live for you.


    EXCELLENT STATEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    Options
    change your number
  • Queenb62303
    Queenb62303 Posts: 77
    Options
    AMEN!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    Cut off contact and forget about him. Why do you want to bring destruction into innocent lives? The truth comes out eventually. You don't need to be the bearer.
  • netty1959
    netty1959 Posts: 46
    Options
    no dis-respect to you hun but if he said it once to you and never left her and you let it get to three times, hello hun wake up he as no intentions of leaving her and he never will why you give into him all the time, why would he when hes getting the best of both worlds.
    Plus hun even if he did leave her for you he as been having affairs behind his current partners back so he possibly would do it to you aswell.sorry for been blunt hun but get rid and find someone better xx
  • tecallahan
    tecallahan Posts: 732 Member
    Options
    Kick that guy to the curb! He is using you, abusing his wife and a real LOSER. Purge yourself of him and believe that you are better than that - he's a liar and a cheater and why in the world would you want that garbage in your life?
  • joyharvey04
    joyharvey04 Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    Ohhhh this one is a tuffy...as a wife and a mother I personally would want to know....once a cheater always a cheater! I would want to know if my hubby was cheating....because if he is doing this with you who else is he doing it with? And if you turn him down there will just be more chicks that he will do this with. But the question is how to tell his wife???? Hmmmm...I think someone else replied to use telling his wife as a tool the next time he wants to hook up and I think that is a good idea. If he wants to hook up you just tell him to leave you the hell alone or you will tell his wife what has been going on. Good luck!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Options
    RUN AWAY as fast as you can. Cut him loose. Love or no love, it's not worth it. There are plenty of other great men out there who won't give you the run around and don't cheat on their wives. DO NOT be the other woman.
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
    Options
    Find someone else and forget him all together. No point telling anyone. That'll just piss everyone off.
  • karmaticgeek
    karmaticgeek Posts: 108
    Options
    I would cut him loose. And if he won't leave you alone, threaten to tell his wife. Totally toxic relationship. You deserve better!

    This.
  • tunktunk5583
    tunktunk5583 Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    Walk away. Stop reading his texts, stop taking his calls, and stop stalking his family on FB,etc. Just make a clean break, and go live your life. Sounds like you have been living your life for him....no more. Get away from him,,,,,no more drama or wondering, and go live for you.

    YUP.
  • TeresaWash
    TeresaWash Posts: 283
    Options
    Honey... he will never change. If he was with you, he'd cheat on you.
    Kiss his *kitten* good bye!
    Why hurt his wife, she's done nothing to you. You hope she'll throw him out but if she does you will end up wishing she never did.
  • Journeyingascrystal
    Journeyingascrystal Posts: 195
    Options
    Really folks??? this sounds like a bad Jerry Springer show...


    really... but a GOOD one.. lol
  • MummyHungry
    MummyHungry Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    His wife deserves to know that he's doing all this, but since you don't know her personally you have no way of knowing if she's the "ignorance is bliss" type. If you personally know any friends of hers, it might be best to tell one of them and let them make the decision of whether or not she would want to know.

    And in the meantime, block him from your phone, your facebook, and any other way he can contact you. He doesn't deserve to spend time with a woman, you don't deserve to be treated that way, and you don't need the temptation that he apparently causes you. Even if he did all the things he said he was going to do to be with you, he would end up doing all of that same stuff to you several years down the road.

    I disagree with people who view it as "homewrecking" to tell the truth. If it happened to me, I would absolutely want to know.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories