SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater
Replies
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I would cut all ties with him and if he keeps going after you, use his wife as leverage.... leave me alone or Ill tell the wife. Dont persue a person like this because the chances that he will do the same to you and have someone on the side if he did marry you.0
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Sorry but you should not have been entertaining his behavior to begin with.....he is a creeper and just wants to have you on the side lines.......what does it solve for you to hurt his wife and child? Are you hoping the SHE would leave HIM, and he would run to you......because as far as he is concerned.....HE isn't the one leaving...........and has no intentions of it....He just want s to have a P@SS/ to run to when his wife doesn't feel like spreading her legs! Its the reality of men like him........he is treating you like his *kitten*.....and you are letting him. Even though you aren't sleeping with him now...his intentions are to get you into bed!
And you shouldn't.......you are young and beautiful with a whole lot of world to experience....don't tie yourself to an A-hole....you will regret it!0 -
.. MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me...
^^^^^^^^^
OK read this statement over and over..now answer the question. Pull up your big girl panties and be done !
Be an adult and wish him well and move on ! His drama doesnt need to involve you ! He didnt want you then he doesnt NEED you now ! so Next Topic Please !
Oh not to mention SHE DOESNT WORK and he adopted her daughter..He is not coming out of that marriage easy now !0 -
and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
It actually IS that easy. Only you can make it difficult. Do the right thing.0 -
IMO there is no such thing as Karma. We have guilt from things that we regret. I think that when we feel bad about something, it affects our actions moving forward.
My advice would be to pray for guidance and understanding. I don't think that you will find that this situation is helping you at all. Look ahead at what you want/need to do and move that direction.
Best response I've seen yet.
Absolutely true!!!0 -
I'm having a glad to be an american moment, cause universally regardless of race age gender or amount of weight loss are giving you sound advice. Don't mess with a marriage it can get yoy killed0
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I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
Why are you involved w/ a married man? You're just as much to blame as she is. Move on and let him work it out with her.
Home wrecked
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is this shyt for real? please tell me this story is made up. I sincerely hope I raised my daughters to be smarter than this!
This!!!
& Please don't be a homewrecker. You can't blame him for hurting you & him doing this to you after the first time, it's on you. Nothing positive will be accomplished with telling her. OMG I could go on for days about how ridiculous this is, but I'm going to stop: don't tell her. Leave it alone. It IS that easy.0 -
if you are tired of him hurting YOU stop allowing it! Stop taking his calls and text messages period!0
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What has the WIFE done to you? Why didn't you "tell her" when he first came sniffing around?
In my opinion, BOTH of you are equally responsible for this cheating. Chalk it up as a lose and move on.
Like another poster stated. YOU allowed him to hurt you, because you knew beforehand that he chose to MARRY her :flowerforyou:0 -
I have to say as soon as he got married, you should of just ignored him.
It doesnt matter that you still love him, and that youv known him longer..
He made his choice, he chose her..
You proberlly just being around confuses him, did he make the right choice, i mean after all you always answer his calls..
You need to get away from him, he will never be yours.
And think about how his wife must feel.0 -
You are being played. Have some self respect and cut him loose. Telling his wife won't help your situation, it will only destroy a family. If this guy loved you, he'd have left his wife already. So, yeah, it is that easy. Break up, change your phone number and start having a little self respect. Why a woman would want to date a loser that cheats on his wife is beyond me.0
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i totally think you should tell the wife. because if my husband was a scumbag i'd want to know about it.0
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:noway: I don't even know what to say.0
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What is done in the dark always comes to the light. It never fails - it's only a matter of time. No need to tell her - just walk away. I know it's easier said than done, but truthfully, this is toxic. He's a dog. She's in a bad spot married to a cheating man. Open yourself up to meeting someone who respects you and is actually worth your time. He is not that person. Best of luck to you *hugs*0
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If it were me I would tell him to leave me alone and that you are not and will never be interested in someone who does not value family and would cheat on his wife when he adopted her daughter. I would not mess with Karma by getting involved in their marriage, it is not worth it.0
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Really folks??? this sounds like a bad Jerry Springer show...
Glad I wasn't the only one thinking Jerry...0 -
Tell the wife. Tell the parents. Hell, show up to his front doorstep during the family's Sunday breakfast.
His wife isn't deserving of this. Alright, maybe not the parents but they'll find out eventually through "word on the streets".
If I were married to someone and they cheated on me all of the time. I don't even know how I would react hearing of it several years down the road.
Do it.0 -
YOU teach people how to treat you so dont be mad at himYOU ALLOWED THIS BEHAVIOR !!!!!!!!!!0
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This!!!
& Please don't be a homewrecker.
Don't be? WTF she already is.. she was from the GET GO. She knew in advance.You can't blame him for hurting you & him doing this to you after the first time, it's on you.
After the 1st time... see my frist comment LOL
I simply have no compassion for the OP ...0 -
Walk away. Stop reading his texts, stop taking his calls, and stop stalking his family on FB,etc. Just make a clean break, and go live your life. Sounds like you have been living your life for him....no more. Get away from him,,,,,no more drama or wondering, and go live for you.
Amen!!! STOP ALL COMMUNICATION with this loser!!!! He obviously keeps trying to communicate and get back with you because you've shown him that he can. It has worked for him in the past. There is NO point in telling her. You don't even know if she will believe you. She may place all her anger on you and blame you for it even though you aren't in the wrong. He is HER problem, not yours. Don't worry, she'll see his true colors soon enough, but when is not up to you or your problem. LET HIM GO!!! COMPLETELY!!!!
I've been in your situation and I loved him more then life itself. I thought he was "the one" when we were together only to find out he was cheating on me and then got someone else pregnant shortly after we broke up. Letting go finally was the best thing I ever did despite it being so hard at the time. Years later, I have a FABULOUS husband who doesn't even compare to that bleep. Move on Sweetie! You don't need him or his drama!
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I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
Yiiiiikes.
You put yourself in this situation. The man is married. What did you expect? Looks like you are just the "booty call" to me. I don't see why you should drag his wife into your mess. If anything it should be up to him to tell the truth to his wife, not your problem.0 -
Just want to put another spin on this....do you not for one minute think she doesnt already know or at least suspect and is trying her damn hardest to keep hold of the man SHE married and is in love with?
Im talking from experience, my daughters father cheated on me several times in the two years before we married and would come running back with his tail between his legs crying appologising promising it would never happen again every time i found out i forgave him because i loved him...we got married 6 weeks later he cheated again i threatened to leave got the same old sob story -- forgave him -- started a family and when my beautiful babies were so poorly when they were born the B****** was off with his bit on the side while i was sat at their cots praying they would pull through.
I knew where he was and who he was with but i also knew that i needed to be strong for my babies so i said nothing ignored it even until they were well.... Then i kicked his *kitten* out and got on with my life.
But do you know what if the woman sleeping with my husband had come and told me i probably would have knocked her lights out,,,and possibly still forgiven him upto a point!!
Just because he is offering it doesnt mean you have to take it. And i would bank on his excuse being "it was just sex-- i didnt love her BLAH BLAH BLAH to make you look and feel bad!" telling her wont do anyone any good0 -
He loves you! Fight for that love! You've already told the world, what's holding you back from telling the wife? It's not his child. Haters gonna hate. You take what you want, without regret.
That's what you wanna hear, right? Seriously, leave it alone.[/i0 -
I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
Time to grow up.
He's MARRIED, and not to you, respect that. What makes you think you're so special he'd treat you any differently than what he's doing to her? AND HE MARRIED HER
He doesn't love you or respect you.
Accept it, walk away, and do it with dignity.
^^THIS^^0 -
I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
You don't really want to hurt her but you want to tell her that her husband has been running on her? You want to know what I think? I think the first time you cheated WITH him was a mistake, the second time you cheated WITH him was stupid, and that each time (especially the third) was selfish. I think that airing YOUR (because this doesn’t just belong to him, it takes 2 to tango baby) dirty laundry is selfish and childish. You were on and off, he chose to marry her, respect that and walk away. It’s up to him to deal with his relationship, it’s up to you to not be the other woman. You don’t want to be toyed with anymore, than don’t let yourself be toyed with, but don’t drag her down with you. You don’t want to play this game, than stop contacting him and block him from contacting you.
As a married woman I wouldn’t want to be kept in the dark, but I also wouldn’t want the spiteful b*tch my husband’s cheating with to tell me just because she wants to get even or clear her own conscience.0 -
Honestly, It sounds like you want to tell her NOT because you think its the right thing to do but so that you can get revenge against him for d*cking you around all this time. Why tell her? Just move on and find someone else. He's mind-screwing you. He has no intentions of leaving her.0
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i agree, will be sory one day, but not for his acts, but for getting caught,,,I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
Once a cheater, always a cheater. That statement has never ever lied to me!
I'd say Run away, and never come back to this,,he is doing this to the other girls, i dont wanna pop your bubles, but he would do the exact same thing to you, in your back,,,,, looks like a child man who wanna have all the fun with no attatchments, you dont need that!! look at you!!! pretty, confident, young, youll find a man, a real one,,, let the boys be boys, and one day, youll be relaxing somewhere on a beach with the man of your life, and you gonna think ,boy, am i ever glad i didnt fell for that BS!!!!
its not the other girls fault, do not destroy her,,,,, but you can actually really help that girl ( thats why i assume you wanna tell right?)
well just take im off your life, and live!!!!!! and Karma, well, will find you !!!!0 -
What i would do in a situation like this is post all the sordid details on a weight loss forum bulletin board and solicit advice from a bunch of total strangers , compile all the responses into a spreadsheet, cross match them, creat an algorithim view the output. Then I would make life choices based on the results....0
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He loves you! Fight for that love! You've already told the world, what's holding you back from telling the wife? It's not his child. Haters gonna hate. You take what you want, without regret.
That's what you wanna hear, right? Seriously, leave it alone.[/i
LMAO wow... thank God for footnotes.0
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