SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater

spicy618

First time.... Shame on me.

Second time... Shame on you.

Third time.... Oh hell, nevermind.

SinIsIn

well you dont know me sweetie so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject

Then I'm sure he's just telling you this stuff to get you to send him nudes.

wendyc122005

You are no better then he is. I know that it is cliche, but it does take two to tango. You simply want to tell so that you can hurt him and probably her. By the way, adopted or not, her child most likely looks at him as "dad" and your need to lash out will ulitimately hurt that child.

katzmeow_83

I really agree with this thanks

Shishkeberry

not his baby....

Don't fool yourself. If he adopted the kid, IT IS HIS BABY NOW! And even if you weren't sleeping with him, you are still having an emotional affair. That's just as bad. I feel so bad for his wife and kid.

njean888

Do not tell his wife or family. Simply tell him to never contact you again and if he continues to contact you, then you will contact his family. Threaten him with it but don't actually do it. And for your own sanity cut all ties, seriously if he calls do not answer. If he texts, ignore the text. TRUST ME, if you ignore them long enough they will eventually go away. Good luck and do not let all these fake *kitten* people pretending to be perfect make you feel badly. **** happens, life happens, grow and move on.

Elizabeth_C34

WE ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER!!!! WE MET AND HAVE BEEN DATING BEFORE THEY EVEN MET!!!! WE LIVE IN DIFFERENT STATES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So? You are still emotionally cheating with him and considering starting up a world of drama that is going to hurt a lot of people. Stop acting like a 13-year old girl, grow up, leave, find someone else who isn't married and a father (adoption means he is that child's father now).

Mad_Dog_Muscle

Wow, bad situation... and these never end well. OK, since you asked that we not just say "let it go"..... I dont have anything constructive to say. I mean, is it going to make you feel any better to destroy this womans life and now this kid they adopted? She didnt do anything to you, he did... but YOU let it happen. Not judging you.... the heart wants what it wants and all that stuff....But Is he an *kitten* deserving of punishment? Absolutely..... then again, she may thank you for telling her if you decided to that. She will probably find out at some point anyway. You mentioned karma.... I say go with that feeling.

cleoleigh

.... DO U SECRETLY WANT TO TELL HER THINKING SHE WILL LEAVE HIM AND HE WILL BE FREE TO BE WITH YOU???

Cause honey, if that is the case you are delusional!!! He may come running to you, but not for the right reasons.... what a "prize" that would be not!

U NEED TO READ "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" a man who truly loves you and is committed to be with you will move mountains to make that happen. FACT.

Helice

well you dont know me sweetie so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject

Then if you havent been sleeping with him, it shouldnt be as difficult to break it off.
Believe me i know how hard this situation can be, because i have been in it myself.
And i felt like i was the one being played and pulled along. Until one day i realised hang on a minute, he already has someone, he has already chosen someone.. And im not the one being played by him, im like his instrument to play her..
Im not very good at explaining things.. But really nothing will change, it will always be like this.. And one day youl think about it from the wifes point of view and youl just feel like the worst person in the world for doing that to another person..

And as hard as this situation is to break out of, if your not physical it will be SO much easier.. Pluss you live in a different country. Change your number and email address and wahla, he is out of your life for good.

Shishkeberry

Why would anyone get involved with a married man? If he can cheat on her, he can cheat on you. What makes you special?

Elizabeth_C34

a man who truly loves you and is committed to be with you will move mountains to make that happen. FACT.

YES!

Starkle09

not his baby....

What makes this not his baby...u said urself that he adopted her!!! My husband adopted my daughter when she was 4 years old and I would DARE anyone to challenge him and tell him that shes not his daughter. U tell urself whatever u need to sleep at night. Go ahead and have his "first" child and we'll see u posting on here in 9 months about how u think hes cheating on u. GROW UP!!!!

changinmyways72

not his baby....

But it is his baby - he legally adopted him. Whether he's biologically the father or not he's legally taken on the responsibility to raise him. What about Sandra Bullock for example...she adopted a baby boy. Does that mean he's not her son?

pretty_ribbons

I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)

Sorry but I disagree.

It's not love when you're being strung along for the ride, regardless of what he says. It may seem hard to leave, but you're hurting yourself a lot more staying like this. It's called self-respect and carrying yourself with dignity for yourself and your children. Sounds like you need to move on just like the OP.

yes i do agree with you and i know i have to move on, believe me i know i have issues and it affects my life but if you look at the rest of my post i have said that i think she should be strong and leave him alone, i am only stating that this is dificult when you love someone

KimmieBrie

well you dont know me sweetie so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject

Well good - this should help you stop contact with him and work on yourself, your self esteem, and self respect.

Stop stalking his family on Face Book. Go live your own life. He is, and you aren't part of it.

Bankman1989

Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!

i would agree. What exactly are you gaining from telling her. And exactly what is he doing beside idiotically texting you that he wants to be back with you. Don't take this the wrong way but you are probably one of a dozen girls he does this too. Oldest trick in the book. FYI don't send any pics..lol..never workouts out in the end.

Just leave her hubby alone. I mean he is married and instead of bothering her just let them both be.

KathyEarhart

Here's the thing, he doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. So he strings you along, for whatever reasons, his ego, because he can, etc. You said he met her after he knew you, well obviously if he had wanted you, he would have went for it and not gone and married someone else. If he wanted to make it work with you, he'd have been long gone from her. Do you think if he was living the high life and happy as can be, he'd tell you? Heck no, he has to make it sound bad, to keep stringing you along. I have watched this same scenario with my brother and his girlfriend play out time and time again. The bottom line is, there is something in it for him, so he keeps doing it.

You want to tell her, because a) she should know her husband is a scumbag; which translated means: I hope she finds out and leaves him and him and I can live happily ever after. It's not going to happen. You are going to end up the fall guy, the one who ruined it all. He will be forgiven and never talk to you again. I've seen this play out plenty too. Amazingly every time my brother cheats on his girlfriend, I'm somehow blamed. The last one he cheated with, I didn't even know the girl he was doing, yet I was the fall guy. This is because the girlfriend/ wife isn't willing to admit that he doesn't want them (kinda like your not willing to admit he doesn't want you.) He just wants a good time (and whether you are sleeping with him or not, is a moot point, you are having an emotional affair.) I hate to be so blunt, but you really have to be willing to look at the situation and see it for what it is.

Last, as someone who believes in marriage and it being sacred, you are stepping in where you don't belong. Let no man separate what GOD has joined together. Whether he 'messed up' marrying her or not, it's done and that commitment has to be honored.

Rubie81

May of last year I found out my husband was cheating on me. I actually came here and wrote a long post about it. My youngest son hadn't even turned 1 yet when the cheating had began. Case was my husband up and left my two kids for this other woman. He attempted to come back a few months later saying that things weren't going to work out with this other woman because she was a liar (shocker) and that he wanted to try to make things work out because of our kids, yadda, yadda. I won't lie. I did try. I didn't think he tried very hard. I asked him to block the woman's number, to change his e-mail address, to end all relationship with her and he wouldn't. She persisted like hell as well. Eventually she left him. But she had the audacity to call me, crying, saying that my husband had ruined her life, was stalking her, calling up her relatives, following her, hacking her phone. She said that she had a long time boyfriend whom she had planned to marry and that my husband ruined their relationship. Like I would care about all this? Point is, she stooped to a very low point with that phone call and if you place that phone call you will as well. Love yourself, respect yourself and move on. And please, don't sleep with a married man. This goes to all women. Really, WHY would you do that to another human being, especially knowing that there are children involved. Maybe I'm just a good person but I don't understand this.

MummyHungry

If I were married to someone and they cheated on me all of the time. I don't even know how I would react hearing of it several years down the road.
Do it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.....so many people seem to regard the person telling the truth as the one responsible for the pain. Would this many people really just prefer to never know it happened? It's mind-boggling! At the very least, people should want the truth simply to know that they need to get tested for STDs! Not saying anyone involved in this case has one, of course...just saying that married people have unprotected sex with their spouses and it is not fair for a person to do so believing it to be risk free when their partner may have infected him/herself elsewhere.

I hope that if I am ever cheated on, someone has the decency to tell me. It would most certainly hurt, but that is nothing compared to the pain of finding out years later. I deserve to make informed decisions about my future, even if that involves pain in the short term.