'You'd be more attractive if you were thinner'
Replies
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This may not be the answer you are expecting. What I have found is that women are the harshest judges in terms of weight requirements for their friends. Next to that then there are men that specifically will not date anything other than arm candy. These are few and not representative of most men. Most men find women appealing if they are confident, have a great personality, intelligent, and well groomed. I weighed 233 lbs at 5 ' 6. I now weigh 172 and the truth is that I realize I am as attractive now as before, really. The difference is that my girl friends say I'm much prettier now, lol. But my guy friends really don't focus on it.
I notice differences that have impact such as the ability to move with more ease, the ability to dress with more style, and more desire to be well groomed (hair, nails, make-up, etc).
I've seem many happy men in love with overweight women. For me, its not about being more attractive for men. I need to be more fit, healthy, and have more fashion options. lol0 -
You asked him to be "honest" with you. If you aren't prepared for an honest answer, then don't ask.
As a guy, I have learned that if a girl says, "be honest," that is my cue to shut up. Of course then she gets mad cause I wont answer. Hey. The whole question is a trap. The only way to win is to LIE, but even then you can't win, cause she knows your lying.
That is a stupid question. Don't ask me that. EVER!0 -
I used to get "oh you've got such a pretty face....."
killed me everytime.
Or the "You're just a pretty face." Now, wtf is that suppose to mean. LOL0 -
Him: "You'd be more attractive if you were thinnner."
Me: "Really? You'd be more attractive if you weren't such an *kitten*."0 -
No, I pretty much accept that fact that right now, I wouldn't be too attractive to the opposite sex lol. It isn't really upsetting me because I know it's true.
Sorry, but that's a load of BS. Unless all you're looking for is some jerk who just wants a pretty trophy wife, and who will probably ditch you when you get old anyway. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're only worth something if you're thin. In a REAL, LOVE-based relationship, you will stick by each other because you enjoy each other's company and conversation, you respect each other, you share the same values... a real love relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with looks. After all, the way you look will change. You may get fatter or thinner, you will definitely get older & wrinklier, so if attractiveness were all about looks then no one would stay married after age 50. Or 60, with surgery... :laugh: And if it were all about looks, how come there are so many celebrity divorces? They're all gorgeous, and it certainly doesn't help them keep a mate.
Don't sell yourself short. Yes, it's beneficial to be healthy. But you shouldn't be trying to lose weight just to be attractive to the opposite sex. Find a quality person who's attracted to the inner you.
If someone had told me "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner," I hope I would reply "You'd be more attractive if you were smarter. But at least I can lose weight."
On the other hand, you deliberately asked him, so you can't really complain that he answered your question honestly. And if he is a former boyfriend, there's always the possibility that he deliberately said that to hurt you.0 -
This probably isn't very helpful, but I've overheard someone saying about me, "--great body but look at her face."
At least weight you can control, right?
Forgot to mention in my earlier post: The little boy in the picture is also beautiful...so THERE!0 -
My Dad used to tell me that all the time while growing up. That hurt like the ****ens of course.
Also, a friend of mines ran up to me in high school and randomly blurted out, 'Such-n-such said you'd be fine as hell if you were skinny'... He refused to tell me who this person was. A wise choice indeed.0 -
Are you kidding me? You're gorgeous!
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this !!0 -
The fact of the matter is that guys are raised by their mothers and society to be very narrow minded. Its sad and not fair. I'm 24 years old and i refuse to go out with anyone my own age because i hate that attitude of "you are so irreplacable and its an honor for you to have me". I have within the last 2 years have lost 70 pounds and i am 152. All i have left to do is lose the pouch. Right now i can honestly wear anything i want except a bikini and i love that. I am very new at being healthy because my whole life i was overweight. I got all of those lines "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner" and it killed me. But i finally got mad and changed myself.
Now i am that girl that when i go to bars, everyone tries to get my number. hahaha like they have a chance. I actually have people who use to call me fat in H.S try to ask me out today. Do they seriously think i have forgotten all the torment. I have a bf right now who is in his 40's. i chose him because he loves me and cares about me and thought i was beautiful when i was at my heaviest. We lost weight together. I honestly hate people who judge people only on looks. discusting.
I may sound a bit cocky but you have no idea how much fun it is for a guy to come up to me and ask for me for my number and i get to tell him "uh you could lose like 20 pounds fatty". I will say that to a skinny guy too. They get mad and upset and call me the lovely B word, but i just laugh. In reality, if they would have saw me at 230 pounds, they would never give me the time of day and insult me because most guys (not all) my age are shallow. If they really want to get my number, they are going to have to try a lot harder and guys don't want to give that much effort. Too much work
Who are they to judge my appearance!!!
Women who are wanting to lose. One of the biggest motivations for me losing weight was to treat these guys how they have treated me. But again this is me and what worked for me. I know people are going to think i am very spiteful person but i am being honest, it motivated me and its fun. Plus when you lose this weight, you will feel like a million bucks.0 -
I've heard that before, and I honestly don't think the people realized how insensitive they were being.
Probably the worst one I've ever heard was from my ex fiancee just after he and I split up. "Babe, I know the world doesn't view you as attractive, but I've always found you beautiful."
My reply was "F*** you"
don't worry about what people say!!0 -
For me, it was my mom and aunt who told me, if I just worked at losing some weight I'd have such a great body. Since I had the chest and legs already going on. But I think a lot of people would agree with your statement and as others have said, some won't come out and admit it. Of course I also believe there is someone who will love you just how you are, those are the kind of guys you want to date.0
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The fact of the matter is that guys are raised by their mothers and society to be very narrow minded. Its sad and not fair. I'm 24 years old and i refuse to go out with anyone my own age because i hate that attitude of "you are so irreplacable and its an honor for you to have me". I have within the last 2 years have lost 70 pounds and i am 152. All i have left to do is lose the pouch. Right now i can honestly wear anything i want except a bikini and i love that. I am very new at being healthy because my whole life i was overweight. I got all of those lines "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner" and it killed me. But i finally got mad and changed myself.
Now i am that girl that when i go to bars, everyone tries to get my number. hahaha like they have a chance. I actually have people who use to call me fat in H.S try to ask me out today. Do they seriously think i have forgotten all the torment. I have a bf right now who is in his 40's. i chose him because he loves me and cares about me and thought i was beautiful when i was at my heaviest. We lost weight together. I honestly hate people who judge people only on looks. discusting.
I may sound a bit cocky but you have no idea how much fun it is for a guy to come up to me and ask for me for my number and i get to tell him "uh you could lose like 20 pounds fatty". I will say that to a skinny guy too. They get mad and upset and call me the lovely B word, but i just laugh. In reality, if they would have saw me at 230 pounds, they would never give me the time of day and insult me because most guys (not all) my age are shallow. If they really wanna get my number, they are going to have to try a lot harder and guys do not wanna give that much effort. Too much work
Women who are wanting to lose. One of the biggest motivations for me losing weight was to treat these guys how they have treated me. But again this is me and what worked for me. I know people are going to think i am very spiteful person but i am being honest, it motivated me and its fun. Plus when you lose this weight, you will feel like a million bucks.
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The fact of the matter is that guys are raised by their mothers and society to be very narrow minded. Its sad and not fair. I'm 24 years old and i refuse to go out with anyone my own age because i hate that attitude of "you are so irreplacable and its an honor for you to have me". I have within the last 2 years have lost 70 pounds and i am 152. All i have left to do is lose the pouch. Right now i can honestly wear anything i want except a bikini and i love that. I am very new at being healthy because my whole life i was overweight. I got all of those lines "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner" and it killed me. But i finally got mad and changed myself.
Now i am that girl that when i go to bars, everyone tries to get my number. hahaha like they have a chance. I actually have people who use to call me fat in H.S try to ask me out today. Do they seriously think i have forgotten all the torment. I have a bf right now who is in his 40's. i chose him because he loves me and cares about me and thought i was beautiful when i was at my heaviest. We lost weight together. I honestly hate people who judge people only on looks. discusting.
I may sound a bit cocky but you have no idea how much fun it is for a guy to come up to me and ask for me for my number and i get to tell him "uh you could lose like 20 pounds fatty". I will say that to a skinny guy too. They get mad and upset and call me the lovely B word, but i just laugh. In reality, if they would have saw me at 230 pounds, they would never give me the time of day and insult me because most guys (not all) my age are shallow. If they really wanna get my number, they are going to have to try a lot harder and guys do not wanna give that much effort. Too much work
Who are they to judge my appearance!!!
Women who are wanting to lose. One of the biggest motivations for me losing weight was to treat these guys how they have treated me. But again this is me and what worked for me. I know people are going to think i am very spiteful person but i am being honest, it motivated me and its fun. Plus when you lose this weight, you will feel like a million bucks.
I LOVE THIS!0 -
This probably isn't very helpful, but I've overheard someone saying about me, "--great body but look at her face."
At least weight you can control, right?
You are absolutely beautiful, some people need to get their eyes checked.0 -
OMigod, have women really said that to you?? Pretty disgusting. I apologize!! not all women are like that, that's for sure!
To summarize without going into gory depth, yes women have said that to me often. It's one of the biggest reasons I started buckling down on my weight. Granted I was only about 40 lbs over but people equate 40 lbs over as the same as 200 lbs over. Once you get to a certain point it doesn't matter anymore.
Whenever people try to pass this off as a gender thing (meaning that women are so open about dating, but men are only interested in barbie) i have to laugh my *kitten* off because I have found it to be equal no matter what gender we're talking about.0 -
It's true. I'm way more attractive when I'm thinner.0
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No, I pretty much accept that fact that right now, I wouldn't be too attractive to the opposite sex lol
that is a pretty broad statement...not all men find the same things/qualities/features attractive. Just as we women are attracted to different looks in guys.
Confidence is sexy. So do things that build your confidence and the rest will follow.
Just my .02. take it for what you paid for it.
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"you have such a pretty face..." <--- from relatives and customers
"you have really pretty eyes..." <--- from customers, the women
"your hair is so pretty..." <---- from customers, the women
"you're just built stocky..." <---- from relatives
"if you were a foot taller..." <---- a guy I really liked in high school... I'm 5'5
"you make such a good friend...don't want to ruin that..." <--- guys from age 18-30
"you are just too much for me..." <---- blind dates
"you looked better BEHIND the counter..." <--- customers, the men
I've heard that kind of stuff all my life (well since 4th grade at least). I have always been a pear shape, no matter how much I weighed. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I met people that were more accepting or not quite as rude.0 -
It's true. I'm way more attractive when I'm thinner.
Me too. If I dropped 20 more pounds I'd be pretty dang hot.0 -
uggh yeah...apparently i have a pretty face...I wear a size 16 and i'm 5'7"0
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Yes I get the "you're a beautiful girl but..."
My mother told me I had a pretty face but because I had gained weight my pores had stretched so my skin wasn't nice anymore (thanks mam)
My ex told me I was too fat for sex, I was 40lbs lighter back then! My self esteem hit rock bottom and I ate for comfort. He also used to tell me there was no point in putting on make up or getting dressed up because I was so fat it wouldn't make a difference.
I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago and from day one he has told me I'm sexy and beautiful. He is overweight too following a car accident the year before I met him but I fancy the *kitten* off him. He makes me feel safe, he constantly makes me laugh, we never run out of things to say and he treats me like a goddess!
We do have our off days but we are motivating each other to lose weight so one day we can get married and hopefully start a family and set our children a good example.
People tell me all the time I have a pretty face but I ignore them now because I come home and he tells me I'm beautiful! He has really built up my confidence and I know we'll do this together! So ignore those horrible people!!0 -
forme it was my own grandmother who said that to me my whole life..0
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It's true. I'm way more attractive when I'm thinner.
Me too. If I dropped 20 more pounds I'd be pretty dang hot.
Totally true. That's my one of my incentives to lose the weight.0 -
First of all, you're a master at question-traps! Backing your man into a corner with no option but to dig down!
My reply here is going to be a cliche one - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's all depends on the individual.
To answer your question specifically, I've been told by many people that I should lose weight to look better. The fat covers your body and you lose your 'distinctive' cheek bones, jaw lines and general muscle tone which I believe adds a lot to general attractiveness.
But I'm more on the side of I tell people they would look more attractive if the lost the excess weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a terrible and heartless person who wants to make people feel bad for being overweight (**spoiler** I"M OVERWEIGHT TOO! **GASP**), I just believe it to be true.
It's one of my main reasons to lose weight as well - to 'feel' more attractive. Notice the emphasis on the word 'feel', because its all depends on the individual.0 -
Real women have curves!
I hate this saying with such a passion. While it's true that curvy women are mighty attractive, it's been skewed so badly that it's now used as an excuse for *obese* women to say that they're "curvy".
Curves means that the shape of your body is naturally curvy, not that you have so much fat that your fat is curved. Accept what you are and either deal with it, or lose the weight. Seriously.
*rant*0 -
Yup! My husband and his mom both have told me "You have too pretty of a face to be so overweight."0
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I used to get "oh you've got such a pretty face....."
killed me everytime.
ME TOO. I used to silently end their sentence in my head, "...but your body is horrid."
They eat their words now though
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Being more attractive to myself is my goal. Too me skinny is attractive it's what I.m attracted to also. Always have been. I feel sexier when I lose weight. Can't help it. So that is a motivator for me.0
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I get that pretty face thing a lot too.0
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I have a bunch of guys asking me out or hitting on me all the time. Some even very desperate ones! (one boy has been infatuated with me since 7th grade!). I can ask them how much they think I weigh and usually the answer is 130 or so. HAH! I wish! It's muscle though, so IDK. Anyway, I get much more boys than a friend of mine. She's super skinny, taller than most of the boys, and is very pretty, smart, funny, and kind. But not as many boys find her attractive. However, a shorter, curvier girl (me) gets hit on all the time, when I don't even WANT to date! (she's very open and wants a bf pretty badly). I'm not very feminine at all (besides my figure) and most of my friends are boys. Long story short, no. I've never been told something like that, but I HAVE been told that I'm very beautiful, the perfect shape, thin, but curvy ect. Now only if /I/ can learn to believe it!0
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