For the perpetually single
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SINGLE PRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE
Erm....... Pringle?
Help out an senile old buffer here. What's a Pringle? :huh:
It just rhymes with single and mingle.. thats all!0 -
Wow...
I'm 26 and have been single my whole life, save for a period of maybe about 5 months at ages 19 and 22, respectively, but I don't consider those "relationships," nor were they even boyfriends.
I always end up getting dumped/abandoned, anyway.
Just happened this last week after dating someone I was really really tickled over, for about a week.
Every guy will eventually just stop texting, calling, and will always have a convenient excuse as to "why" he found me so repulsive that he had to sever all contact with me without giving any reason.
The part that angers me the most is that they can't give me the truth. So I can't work on bettering myself, improving myself.
Because of this, my insecurity causes me to conclude it's because I'm still too "fat," or more probable, too tall/'big."
I'm at the point where my biological clock is ticking and I realise this is something that if I don't overcome it will break me. I absolutely need to fall in love and eventually have a child.
I told myself a while back if things don't start happening for me by 30, I don't plan on remaining on this earth any longer. I've worked too hard and given up too much.
I've always felt like I wasn't really of this earth, anyway.
First off,I looked at your pictures and see a very attractive young lady,nothing at all wrong with how you look and that is the truth.
I would never say that if I didn`t mean it.
An honest question and one that will take some self reflection.
When you are with a guy on a date or a few dates how do you act around him,am curious based on your last paragraph if when thinking about it you maybe move a bit too fast into the serious relationship mindset rather then just getting to know each other and have some fun.
I am certainly not blaming you but you are part of the equation so as all of us must at times we need to examine how we come across to people.
Lastly,you are 26 years old,your biological clock has just barely got wound up there is no need to rush it nor think that it is now or never.
Trust me,you have a lifetime ahead of you,please take a deep breath and understand that.:flowerforyou:0 -
I I was on eharmony for 2 years. I spent $600 on that site and went on dates with a lot of girls, but they never called me back after I bought them dinner.
Could that be the reason why? I know I am old fashioned and I would NEVER call a guy!!! I know things seem to of changed over the years but it is something that just doesn't sit well with me.
What do others think about this stance also?
I have to agree with you. I would never call a guy either. So maybe if you go out with a girl and like her, call her and see if she wants to go out again? If she says yes, then great, but if no, then at least you tried. But some girls are still old-fashioned about that kind of thing.
Also to the poster above who is talking about her biological clock - there is no reason that you can't have a child on your own. I want a child, but I also know that I may never find someone to be with, which is why I would adopt or get a sperm donor.0 -
I like this thread
I have been single for 4.5 years, in that time had about 4 dates in total and had a stalker lol. A year before that the person who I considered the love of my life died in an accident, and frankly I haven't found anyone who I have felt similar feelings towards since.
Sometimes it would be nice to have someone - especially right now as the heating is broken in my flat and it would be good to have a human sized hot water bottle heh. But not being with someone has meant that I can follow my own dreams. In the last month I got accepted on to an internship in Mexico doing my dream job (marine conservation and diving) and if I had been with someone then I wouldn't have had the chance to do that or atleast it would have been much harder.
I love my independent life having been out with some doozies I'm happy to wait if someone does turn up great - otherwise BRING ON THE SUNSHINE!
The only time it gets awkward is when most of my friends are in relationships or at weddings when all the hens are married/with families and there are so what about you is there anyone special in your life? Fortunately I am maid of honour at two weddings this year so I shall allow any young man who wishes to buy me a drink/have a dance to do so :-D0 -
I agree I like this thread too.
I dont believe that means your defective at all! It can mean many things. Like for one your just not interested in dating at the moment. You might have alot going on in your life and maybe you want to keep your focus on that, for example school or your children. Another reason you could be single is you dont just accept the first person that throws themselves at you. Some many people especially women tend to not want to be alone so the first guy that says I like you they are willing to over look any bad qualities just to say they have someone. I refuse to do that!
I am 26 years old and have been single for the past 2 years. I have yet to find anyone in my area that is even close to the type of person I would want in my life, plus I am in school trying to finish my teaching degree. And yes some people might say I am picky or that I have too many rules, but I would rather be picky and have rules than to accept anything just so I am not alone.0 -
SINGLE PRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE
Erm....... Pringle?
Help out an senile old buffer here. What's a Pringle? :huh:
It just rhymes with single and mingle.. thats all!
Ahhh thats good, I can't keep up with all the words young people use. I had to be told what "hashtag" was all about.0 -
What is it with guys sending unsolicited and unwelcome pics of their junk?
Not the first time I have heard of that...good Lord.
Usually accompanied by the romantic phrase of "See what you cause.."
Awesomeness.
I was on a first (and only) date with this guy, and we were sitting in his car talking. He asked me if I trusted him, then he took my hand and put it on his junk and said "this is how I feel about you." GRRRROOOOSSSS! Seriously, dude, like that's a turn-on for any girl??? I spent the rest of the time with my back pressed up against the car door. He said I was giving him that "don't touch me vibe". Really?! Can't imagine it!
When I met my husband, there were no cell phones, so the whole sexting thing was a complete shock to me. I'm a mother for crying out loud! (not a prude, just not an exhibitionist!)0 -
I I was on eharmony for 2 years. I spent $600 on that site and went on dates with a lot of girls, but they never called me back after I bought them dinner.
Could that be the reason why? I know I am old fashioned and I would NEVER call a guy!!! I know things seem to of changed over the years but it is something that just doesn't sit well with me.
What do others think about this stance also?
I have to agree with you. I would never call a guy either. So maybe if you go out with a girl and like her, call her and see if she wants to go out again? If she says yes, then great, but if no, then at least you tried. But some girls are still old-fashioned about that kind of thing.
I didn't mean that I waited around for the girl to call. She wouldn't return my calls after the first meetup. I have a rule that I reach out twice and then that is it. So after the first tie meeting I would giver her a call. I would leave a message. If I didn't get an answer or hear back, then I would try one more time and then after that just move on. After 2 years of that and getting nowhere, I moved on from eharmony, with $600 less in my wallet.0 -
I'm single because everyone else is defective.
You win my thread
Yay!! :bigsmile:0 -
I I was on eharmony for 2 years. I spent $600 on that site and went on dates with a lot of girls, but they never called me back after I bought them dinner.
Could that be the reason why? I know I am old fashioned and I would NEVER call a guy!!! I know things seem to of changed over the years but it is something that just doesn't sit well with me.
What do others think about this stance also?
I have to agree with you. I would never call a guy either. So maybe if you go out with a girl and like her, call her and see if she wants to go out again? If she says yes, then great, but if no, then at least you tried. But some girls are still old-fashioned about that kind of thing.
I didn't mean that I waited around for the girl to call. She wouldn't return my calls after the first meetup. I have a rule that I reach out twice and then that is it. So after the first tie meeting I would giver her a call. I would leave a message. If I didn't get an answer or hear back, then I would try one more time and then after that just move on. After 2 years of that and getting nowhere, I moved on from eharmony, with $600 less in my wallet.
Well that's fair enough then - sounds like a good rule - no need to chase things that mean nothing. I'm sure you will find someone - I don't think those internet things are any good tho - I have been on them - would never pay for them (another one of my old fashioned things lol) - but met nothing but horrible creatures on there - the last being someone that was even swearing at me via email - what a lunatic - so I swore then never to bother with any of those things again. :yawn:0 -
Perpetually single.... yep, that's me! I'm 36 and have had one actual relationship (in college) and have been on one date since then, and a blind date at that! I would never classify myself as defective, though. I am not scarred, have no abuse in my past, I had a happy childhood and have wonderful parents, including a great dad, who I must say, sets the standard pretty high when I consider if a man is husband material!
Dating has just never really been something I, or my close friends have done. Many of my friends married young and dated very few before meeting their spouse... I worked for the past 9 years as a teaching assistant (elementary school), where the majority of my co-workers were women. I own my own business and 99.9% of my customers are women. I live in a small city, don't do the bar scene and I just don't meet a lot of men! I wish I could say I was a flirt... I'm friendly, but shy and I'm terrible at small talk, so I probably come off as stuck up, especially in large groups where I don't say a whole lot.
Yep, I'm perpetually single... yep, I'd love that to change, but I'm also fairly content right now. I'd rather be single than be in a bad, or even mediocre, relationship.0 -
I'd rather be single than be in a bad, or even mediocre, relationship.
^^^^ This EXACTLY.0 -
I often times see that the people that thinks there is something "wrong" with a person that is single for long periods of time is the same person that jumps from one person/relationship to the next because they can't stand to be alone. Me, I'm the opposite. I've been divorced for over 3 years and I haven't dated since my ex-husband and I split up and it doesn't really bother me. For one, I have a 5 year old daughter that I devote the majority of my time to and I figure that it won't be long and she won't have time for 'ole mom so I'm going to enjoy every minute that I can with her while she still thinks I'm cool! But besides that, I'm pretty independent and I enjoy being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm not totally opposed to dating, but I'm just not looking at this point...I have plenty of other things that keep me occupied and it's just not a top priority to me right now.0
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What is it with guys sending unsolicited and unwelcome pics of their junk?
Not the first time I have heard of that...good Lord.
Wait until business contacts text pictures of their junk to your business cell phone! Happened to a coworker, sent by someone we see on a weekly basis!0 -
I have refused to date since my divorce, and I don't see myself as defective as all. I am just one of those people that is better alone. Being in a relationship stresses me out. I am in better physical, mental and emotional health when I am single. I don't like to be touched. I guard my privacy more than most people would think is healthy, but it is how I am and I enjoy it. I don't ever get lonely, I don't understand the sentiment behind that emotion.0
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I think it's my own choosing to be anymore. It's just easier to be single personally. No one to answer to and as long as you get what you "need" when you can - it's a win win!0
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I see dating as a precurser to marriage. I am not the sort of person who would be content to date for four years or longer. That's just not who I am or how I am.I am looking for someone to spend my life with and start a family with.
That said. I've dated my fair share of men but the bottom line is: Do I want to spend my life with this person? And the answer has always been no. I've never been in a relationship that lasted more then eight months. Because I refuse to string someone along if I know a relationship has no future.
To top it off I have the ****tiest luck. The fellows I can see myself being with forever, don't like me. And the fellows I can't stand, fall in love with me. It's the worst. I hate breaking hearts and I hate having my heart broken. But it's a necessary evil.
At this point I both want to date and don't want to. After awhile you get tired of having your hopes pricked just to have them dashed... over and over and over. BUT I also know that if I don't risk being hurt again, I won't ever find someone to share this life with. So there you have it.
On a side note, had my heart broken two times last year. ): It was a really bad year.
PS: I don't believe those who are perpetually single are 'defective'. I think some people are content to stay with people they don't like JUST so they aren't alone. I see those people as defective.0 -
I think people who can't be alone are the defective ones. 0
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I, too, am one of those perpetually single people. I divorced in 2009 at the young age of 25 and have only been in 2 relationships since, one lasted a year and one only a few months. What I've learned now is that I am extremely selective and am absolutely not willing to settle for just anyone. I have a son from my marriage who is now 3 years old and I will not allow just anyone to be a part of his life. On top of all that, I live in a very rural area and the selection is seriously depleted. So, by the looks of it, I will probably be single forever!
It's not that I loathe being single or need someone to take care of me. I take care of my son, make decent money and am buying a house this spring. I do, however, miss the companionship and the passion of having that special someone.0 -
If you're "perpetually" single, it's because you choose to be so.0
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I'm so all alone! :sad:
Yet when I'm dating someone, no matter how great he is and how much I love him, there are just too many times where I look at him and think, if you don't get out of my personal space I am going to scream!
So yeah, I think that might be part of why I'm alone. I want to find someone, but not someone who is going to be up in my face 24/7. And I will definitely need my own room and bed if I ever live with a man again. I am not a pretty sight when sleep deprived and I sleep best alone!0 -
If you're "perpetually" single, it's because you choose to be so.
Hey Mr. Bold_Change, that is just not true!! Some of us live in the middle of no where and are not willing to settle for what little options there are available!
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Yet when I'm dating someone, no matter how great he is and how much I love him, there are just too many times where I look at him and think, if you don't get out of my personal space I am going to scream!
Oh, this is me too!!0 -
If you're "perpetually" single, it's because you choose to be so.
Yup. Because I refuse to settle with the first person who takes an interest in me. :P0 -
I was divorced in 2001, and I've only gone out with a couple of people since then (not long term, only one or two dates each). It's not because I'm defective or am not relationship material, though. No man will ever find a more devoted, loyal, loving, nuturing, and understanding individual than myself. In my case, I was so deeply wounded by the actions of my ex, that for a long time I wasn't even sure I wanted to get married again. By the time I decided I wanted to try again, I was almost thirty. Most of the guys my age (the ones I would be attracted to, have an intelectual connection with, and share a spiritual/emotional connection with), are already happily married, are in a long term committed relationship, are gay, or just don't want anything more than friendship from me for one reason or another. Like you, at first this really bothered me. However, I am slowly discovering that there are other ways to find fulfillment and happiness in life besides being in a relationship. Do I get lonely sometimes? Of course I do. Do I think it would be wonderful to find a great guy to sweep me off my feet? You bet. However, I also know that I am better off being alone than I would be settling for the wrong man just because I don't want to be alone. If it's supposed to happen for me, it will. I'm not going to actively look for Mr. Right around every corner. Whenever I've gone looking in the past, all I found was trouble.0
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I was single for almost 3 years before I met my current partner. I don't think I am defective, but I took some time to really figure out who I was and what I wanted. My last serious relationship was 4 years and it messed me up a bit. He used to tell me that I wouldn't be as attactive to him if I lost weight, led me to believe he would change his mind about having kids. On the whole he was just too controlling and I came to realize I was with him out of fear I wouldn't find anyone. Fast forward to last March and I met the most wonderful person. We just fit in so many ways.
I had a friend that was constantly worrying about not having found love and wondering what was wrong with her. She would break down in tears at least once a month about why she hasn't been able to find it. While I would occasionally wonder that about myself, it wasn't an all consuming thought. I chose to live my life and not focus on that piece... and eventually it came. She in the mean time has cut off our friendship because I have found someone and she hasn't. Apparenlty being in a relationship means I no longer remember what it is like to be single. :ohwell:0 -
I was in a relationship up until December 2010. My kids' father decided that he no longer wanted to be in our lives anymore (text me that he wanted nothing to do with my kids' and I). The way I see it it is his loss. I am highly picky of who comes into my childrens lives. That is why I am still single.0
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I could have written the original post easily. I'm that nerdy woman that enjoys watching anime with my 14yr son, and refuses to justify it to anyone that thinks I'm childish for it! LOL Divorced in 2003 after 15 yrs married(I proved I can go the distance). I had two LT relationships during the last decade lasting 2 yrs each. Dating off & on when my kids were gone in the summer, but never finding what I wanted.
I don't think we are defective, but I do think the longer a person remains happily single - the harder it is to mesh into someone else's life. I think it's a bonus if you ask me! I have friend's bounce from one man to the next, and they are not really "happy" with their choices. They just can't wrap their head around being "alone".
After dating a few that liked everything about me (except my fat), I gave up on dating. That was over 3 yrs ago. A part of me wants to fall inlove again, but I've gotten comfortable in my 'single-ness' and not sure I want to make changes that will come with meeting someone else. The older I get(48 now) and the longer this goes, the less I want to sacrifice my freedoms.
Freedom doesn't mean sleeping around, but for me it means "doing as I please without having to meet someone's expectations". If I want to sleep in on Saturday, I can. If I want to stay up half the night reading, no one is griping about it. If I want to spend MY money or squeeze MY pennies, it's my choice. If I gain weight or lose it, no one is there criticizing me over it.
Some people just need another warm body and their satisfied. I want to be with someone that sees unique value in being with ME. I've had a few men over the years try to rush me into a relationship (after a few dates) for all the wrong reasons. I don't "need" someone else, and won't latch on to someone unless I'm seeing long-term compatibility & potential. I've dated guys that start tossing out the L-word after 2 wks, and I run so fast you can smell rubber burning, haha....
I don't consider myself defective at this point, but I'm probably overly SELECTIVE! It would take someone else needing their personal space as much as I do, but appreciates monogamy. Someone compatible with my inner-nerd, willing to accept ALL of me, and not an overly critical *kitten*-hat that needs to control me. Until then, I'll continue to fly solo.0 -
You are not defective at all, just the opposite. You are making sacrifices for your children. After a divorce, you never know how the next guy will treat your children (molest, hit, ignore, etc). Continue to focus on your children and then when they are in college or on their own you will have a great freedom and joy that you can share with your partner...
o_O0 -
Considering I'm turning 23 in four days and have never had an official relationship I hardly feel it's my place to judge. So no, I don't consider anyone who is 'perpetually single' to be defective on that reason alone.
I wait to understand the reason why before getting all judgemental. c:0
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