ever been told you werent good looking?

becoming_a_new_me

My sister used to buy me dieting books for my birthdays (ummmm....thanks?), and my Mom used to constantly talk about the new fads that she saw on Oprah, Dr. Oz, etc. etc., until I became thinner than them. Now my mom tells me what an inspiration I am, and my sister talks about how she needs to "get on this" (talking about losing the baby-weight). I would never stoop to their levels, but I must say I really wanted to give them workout DVDs for Christmas - just to get in the rub. I took the high road now, and am better for it.

Elf_Princess1210

i used to be called ugly all the time growing up. for some reason my husband thinks i am stunning and ill never get why. i dont like putting on make up i dont even try anymore. i have been told so many times in the past both when i was and wasnt overweight that i was too manly, ugly, butch ect. now i dont get called ugly to my face but i can tell people still think i hideous. i just dont care anymore. im tired of getting my feelings hurt because some a**hole thinks its funny to put me down.

Pete1471

in class I was giving valentine day cards to a few girls I liked. 1 tore it up and threw the pieces at me and told me I was ugly. ahhh to be 12 again. :laugh:

That's not nice.... teachers can be so cruel.

ksizzle911

I feel you on this one. I've heard that a lot throughout the years. Always have been the "fat friend" of the group and it can be really frustrating sometimes. Luckily, I am slowly working my way down to "hot friend" of the group! At least, I hope so anyways!!

Lady_who_Lunches

I got told once when I was about 12 by a 15 year old boy, funny thing was I dated him for 2 weeks when I was older,,,,,,and then dumped him!

minnie84

i got told i don't look very attractive with all the weight ive put on

made me feel even more rubbish about myself than i did before

i'm only 5'2 so guess i look bigger than i am so i was told but iknow i need to lose weight but makes u feel more of a gainer
than of a loser of weight

0PhAtDaDdY

My Dad tells me all the time that I need to lose 10 more #'s so I can become a stripper. But he's joking........ I think. :P

Let's see I don't use daughter and stripper in the same sentence. hahahahah.........

LooseWheel

I dont know you and I dont know her but from that comment and reaction alone suggests she was being honest from 'her' point of view only. And I mean ONLY. Its her opinion that it's only her that feels you are not 'good looking'. It's not everyone's opinion and thats the part you have to understand. If she isn't a 'love' target as such, her opinion is to be taken as a friend from her point of view. Otherwise she would have been chasing you as a potential partner. Her interest now, if it's increased since that statement, is in 'repair mode' for a friend. She feels she has been honest from 'her' point of view but now fears 'upsetting you' from being so blunt. Just take it purely as a comment and leave it at that. If her comment is in regards to you finding a potential partner, she cares about you and as weird as that connection could possibly be, if she didn't care, she wouldn't give a **** about you and wouldn't say anything at all.

The rest of the worlds people do not think the same. They, after all, have not said the same. Have we?? We all haven't jumped on here and stated that 'dude you aren't good looking'. I am only responding from the opening comment only and not from viewing your photo and not from what the shiela said and not from other peoples responses. I am a person who believes every individual and I sincerely do mean 'individual' is a good looking person. Do people see you in the street and scream out loud, "Ah a hideous human being with whom I can no longer look at, it'll burn my eyes". Dude you are easy on the eyes and normal and a good looking fella as far as fellas go. You don't need a bunch a 'others' to tell you this though. You know this deep down inside that you are a good person. and the 'looks' side of things is only going to be interest to your future or current potential 'mate' in life. It's nothing to do with anyone else what so ever. Including the sheila that made the comment originally.

You must have made this topic as a question for 'why the **** did she say that man?' and want to know MFPers resonses and thoughts. I say good on you for putting this up. Good on you for having a moment to think about it all. I also want to say, let it go, get on with your life, do not let this girls comment stop or hinder you in any way. You must make it only 'HER' belief and that she is making it clear she isn't interested in you for looks. She may be interested in other ways, but that is up to you to know.

we are all different for a reason. we are all different to be attracted to different things about each other and it is not JUST for looks. Dont reduce yourself for anyone. Make it a moment to say hey, "She thinks that alone, on her own, by her own lonely self". You need to be thinking, "I am a strong, independent and good looking fella that is ready to take on the world and anyone in your way". Find your mantra mate. Find a sentence that describes who you are and who you want to be in full. I gave you part of mine. "I am a strong, independant and beautiful woman". I say it daily. It does not add to vanity. It does not make me vain and self focused. it makes me a strong person who though the thick of the crap the world throws at me, gets through it knowing, I am strong, I am and individual and that I am fricken beautiful. Stuff the rest of the world!

chocolateandvodka

i've been told "i only date thin girls", called "the fat friend", and been called a "6" to my face....

however, i typically attract quite a few compliments so i try not to let the few negative bits bother me. yeah, the attention is mostly post-weight loss, but i think that has as much to do with my self confidence as it does my actual "look".

trudy45

yea constantly when i was a teenager, i couldnt get a boy to save my life!

i had very bad eczema when i was younger (on tablets now) but at the time, i was constantly red and itchy,couldnt wear makeup etc! i heard guy calling me disgusting, dirty and ugly and fat and the best of it was, i wasnt even fat then and no one would even look at me!

Sad when i think about it how i was made to feel!

Elf_Princess1210

My boyfriend has told me many times that I'm not photogenic at all, and that I think I'm a lot prettier than I actually am.

And you haven't dumped him because.........?

Beezil

My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.

That's how I felt when my wife admitted that I was just not sexy to her all flabby and fat.

But it sparked me to do something about it, and all is well now.
How many more relationships could be saved if people were open and honest instead of "honey you're beautiful to me no matter how fat you are".

I find it just insane that your wife would ever say that to you. I mean yes you obviously took it and turned it around into wow- look at you now!! But I just can never imagine if you love someone w/ all your heart how one could be so brutal. My weight has sure fluctuated through my marriage, as has my husbands, but never once did one of us say change or we are leaving. My husband has always said he has been attracted at my fattest and at my skinniest, even though I knew he was lying:) he sure as hell was never going to say it. I guess some people just love in different ways. I feel bad your wife said that to you like that, but u were strong enought to turn it all around for your own good.

I am thankful she was honest.

How unloving was it of me to let myself go, knowing that when we married, I was a guy in peak condition?
Love is neither blind nor unconditional.
We've been married 28 years and she's in peak condition and expects to be equally yoked.
If I had not lost the fat, she would have divorced me for sure.

And I would have had ONLY myself to blame.
Further, not that it would ever be, but if she was the fat one, same deal.

I could never be married to that.
In the dark, all cats are not grey.

I have to agree with most of this. When people marry each other, they certainly don't go into it hoping for or expecting their spouse to completely let their self go. Honesty is far more important in a marriage than sugar coating things simply to spare feelings.

I straight up asked my husband if he thought I was getting fat. He told me no, but that if I got much bigger he thought he would be less attracted to me. Would I have worked as hard as I have to drop the weight and get in shape if he hadn't told me the truth? Probably not. I probably wouldn't have even been concerned about it and started trying to lose weight in the first place, because truthfully, there was no reason for me to change when I thought no one else cared. Sometimes we need the people we love the most to tell us the most painful truths.

Would I leave my husband if he gained a bunch of weight, though? Absolutely not. I know he wouldn't have left me, even if I'd gained another 50-100lbs even. But that doesn't mean either of us would be happy with that kind of situation. I didn't marry a 300lb man, and he didn't marry a 200lb woman. Common sense dictates that if I weigh 200lbs (or something close to that) he would not be as happy with my appearance - and while appearance isn't the most important thing in a relationship, it is important.

Back on topic though... I had plenty of guys in school who said I was ugly or just thought I was a freak and wouldn't give me the time of day. I was a bigger girl then, not overweight at all, but just bigger than the rest of the girls. My hips were wider, my breasts were bigger, and I was much taller, so I wore baggy clothes to cover myself up. Very few guys dated me in school. Being overweight as an adult, however, I didn't notice much difference in how people treated me vs. my old weight. But since I've dropped the 60lbs I've definitely noticed people treat me better all around. I don't know if that has as much to do with my appearance or simply that I have more confidence and therefor am more sociable now than I used to be - but it's nice to be treated so kindly!

martini83

have you ever been told you weren't good looking? if so, did it bother u? or did you think they were an idiot..
a person who i used to hang out with just as friends - she told me that i wasnt even good looking.

it didnt really bother me, but i was shocked to hear her opinion so bluntly like that haha.
the weird thing is, now she wont leave me alone! she is blowing up my phone with txt and "oh lets hang out this weekend!"
she seems desperate now to "hang out" and i always tell her im busy - ill hang out with her as a group, but it would never be a date, i would NEVER date her because of her shallow personality and she kinda sluts it up....

its just amazing to me how much more attention i get from people these days as opposed to when i weighed 50lbs more than i do now.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

anyone else have a story about how your fitness journey and weight loss have changed the way people treat you?

people that would have never given you the time or day to get to know them now want to get to know you, or maybe you've changed so much that girls or guys are intimidated to approach you or maybe you make them nervous because they like you lol.

im just curious to know your story!

*edit* also - did this help jump start your fitness journey?

I think your friend is blind...your hot!

Elf_Princess1210

This is going to be long so please bear with me

I had a boyfriend who was a bit controlling when I was 17. He had this friend from South Africa (we live in Ireland). He told me that his friend said I was "the ugliest girl he'd ever seen". Number one, why would this guy say this to his friend (my boyfriend) about his girlfriend, and number two, why did he tell me?

Fast forward a few years and I was having Christmas dinner in my fiance's grandmother's house. Fiance's uncle is married to a South African girl. This girl's brother and father were in Ireland visiting her so they were also invited to dinner. So in walks the brother....and who is he? Ex-boyfriends friend! (Ireland is waaay too small). So I told my fiance that he once called me the ugliest girl he'd ever seen and my fiance just laughed as if to say that's ridiculous.

I still don't know if they guy said it or if my ex boyfriend was just trying to dent my confidence. Back then I was around 100lbs!

It's always stuck with me though, and I'll never be confident.

More importantly why is he able to walk? If anyone said that to me my husband would've murdered him and not even told me what he said. It sounds to me like that ex boyfriend was just an *kitten*.

minnie84

okay so let me ask you this....

all the bad bully like comments...

are they any part of why you all are working so hard to get in shape or stay in shape ?

if you say its purely for your self.. well.. sure.. but i know that if people constantly told me i was fat or something... yeah id have that much more on me to get in shape.

i guess where im going is, sometimes these awful comments that are usually just so wrong and far from the truth, might have made you get on the bandwagon of a fit lifestyle.

its 50-50 for me half for me half so i told get told the same again xx

monroe61

My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.

Oh...that's horrible! I couldn't even imagine that...my husband tells me I am beautiful every single day!
Good luck hun I hope he changes his attitude!

skeetpea

I was a shy kid, slightly chubbier than everyone else, wore glasses, had acne and on top of that i'm hard of hearing (and back then I wore VERY obvious hearing aids) so I was a very easy target and got picked on through high school. I also had a step-father that used to make fun of my weight right to my face. Called me elephant and all that. I hated him, so glad my mom found some sense and divorced his *kitten*!
But I would say the one comment that most stands out in my mind is when I was in high school and my best friend and I were discussing something (can't remember what but probably talking about how she had a boyfriend and why I hadn't had one yet) and she mentioned something about how she was so good looking and I was so average. that comment has kind of always stuck with me. She was kind of a self adsorbed back then (and in some ways still is, probably why I don't hang out with her much)...
I'm not really sure if this ever spurred me to lose weight, but I did lose a ton of weight my senior year of high school and by the time I got to college that fall I was so much more confident and a totally different person I was in high school. Of course I have gone well beyond my highest weight I was in high school, but I didn't ever really lose that confidence (well maybe just a little bit). I always said I wanted to go to my high school reunion super fit and "hot". Didn't get to do that at my 10 year, so maybe my 20? Show all those bully's what's up!

gatecityradio

I have been, I've been told my clothes aren't cool, my music isn't cool...tough, I am who I am...

Phoenix24601

More times than I can count over my whole life. My fiance thinks I am beautiful so in the end that is all that matters.

christine24t

My friend and cousins didn't put me in the ugly friend zone, it's just when guys would hit on them and I'd be stuck to the side holding the bags while they flirted.

This is my life. But I have to say that you are so pretty!!