ever been told you werent good looking?

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  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Yep mum tells me I've lost all my looks coz of my weight gain and I used to be so pretty. When I was bridesmaid for my twin she told us several times that she shouldn't have had me as a bridesmaid, she should have had a slim friend as I'd ruin the photos. Defo got an acidic tongue... Had things said to me by partners too, its had a massive effect on me and still does x
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,311 Member
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    Oh yes. All the time when I was a child/teenager.
  • miss_missa07
    miss_missa07 Posts: 170
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    A good friend of mine in high school told me that when we first met, he thought I was pregnant.
    I was only about 140 pounds then, too. Hurtful and pretty unnecessary.
    Needless to say, we aren't close any more.

    One time when I was running I mentioned to a classmate that I needed to get in shape, to which she responded "you are in shape! Round IS a shape".

    Also, my mom likes to bring up how I take after her heavy-set relatives whenever she has been drinking. She has grabbed my belly before to demonstrate the point.

    I guess these are more people calling me fat than ugly, but they meant that "fat" means "ugly," which is awful in and of itself.
  • Meg_85
    Meg_85 Posts: 43
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    I was told by a guy back when i was in high school that I didn't need to worry about him liking me because "to be honest your no where near a model" and then about 2 years ago I was told by another guy (friend of mine) that I needed to not gain anymore weight because as of right then i was "the biggest he would go". Just for reference I was in size 8/10 pants and about 140lbs...
  • queenbeaumont
    queenbeaumont Posts: 19
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    Yes. I think I was called ugly from middle school all the way through high school. And I absolutely believed it, I had no one to tell me otherwise. My parents didn't exactly instill me with a lot of confidence about myself. It wasn't until I got into my 20's that I realized that I wasn't bad looking girl after all.

    One of the worst things I remember about high school is that I have a cousin that also went to same high school as me. She was the pretty one everyone wanted to be around. She was popular, on the cheerleader squad, hung with the other popular kids and so on. We also had a class or two together. I will never forget it, there was this boy in our class and him and my cousin were talking and some how it came up that the two of us were cousins and he said, LOUDLY so that I could hear, " how can you two be cousins? She is so UGLY!!" I could have died! And worst of all my dear cousin thought it was so funny!

    But I have to say, that back then I was a painfully shy and introverted person and was easily bullied by others. But those days are gone and I no longer allow anyone to bully me or make me feel bad about myself.(unless it's me:))

    I don't think that this is the factor that made me want to go on my lifestyle change because that was many years ago and I believed that back then that I was ugly, but I don't now. But after I started putting on all my weight I did start to fell ugly about my body and that motivated me to make a change.

    And by the way, I have not seen one ugly person in this thread! You are all beautiful!
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    I had "ugly" drilled in my head so hard when I was in high school that it became a part of who I am. I've been called a dog, a pig, a cow, gross and out-and-out laughed at more times than I can count. Despite it, I managed to keep myself convinced that it was only the fat that was ugly and that I wouldn't be if I ever got thin. I think I still believe that, though not as much as I did when I was in my teens and 20s.

    It is definitely a driving factor in my weight loss. I've never lost that "I'll show them" mentality. It's faded some over the years, especially when I see how amazing some of the women I went to high school with still look and how great their lives have turned out. I still plan on "showing them" ... I'm just not sure it will be as big of a show as I once thought it would be.

    Aha. That was cathartic. Thanks.
  • mrsdizzyd84
    mrsdizzyd84 Posts: 422 Member
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    I am thankful she was honest.

    How unloving was it of me to let myself go, knowing that when we married, I was a guy in peak condition?
    Love is neither blind nor unconditional.
    We've been married 28 years and she's in peak condition and expects to be equally yoked.
    If I had not lost the fat, she would have divorced me for sure.

    And I would have had ONLY myself to blame.
    Further, not that it would ever be, but if she was the fat one, same deal.

    I could never be married to that.
    In the dark, all cats are not grey.

    :noway:

    Thank GOD my husband doesn't think this way!
  • shrinkinginQualicum
    shrinkinginQualicum Posts: 131 Member
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    okay so let me ask you this....

    all the bad bully like comments...

    are they any part of why you all are working so hard to get in shape or stay in shape ?

    if you say its purely for your self.. well.. sure.. but i know that if people constantly told me i was fat or something... yeah id have that much more on me to get in shape.

    i guess where im going is, sometimes these awful comments that are usually just so wrong and far from the truth, might have made you get on the bandwagon of a fit lifestyle.
  • bizchic
    bizchic Posts: 30 Member
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    I have been told that plenty of times but I have also been called cute, pretty, beautiful, hot and all of that other stuff(especially when I am thinner). I have learned to not give a *kitten* about what others have to say about MY beauty, why should I care what they say about my body, my face, or whatever.
  • shrinkinginQualicum
    shrinkinginQualicum Posts: 131 Member
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    Oops! Trying to quote and reply, I did something wrong. I have never felt good about how I looked, even when I was thin and reasonably attractive. Then I had a boyfriend (who became a husband) who told me that he "had dated lots of better looking women, but liked my personality." No idea now why I married the moron. Anyway, the question was whether these things were why we're now on a fitness track. For me, absolutely. I spent 15 years trying to accept myself as I was, no makeup, okay with the weight, and couldn't stand myself. So I've lost weight, started wearing makeup, and now, guess what, I like myself. Sometimes I think that means I'm shallow, but what the hell. I'm happy with who I am, and that's what counts. It only took me 50 years!
  • TWrecks1968
    TWrecks1968 Posts: 138 Member
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    are they any part of why you all are working so hard to get in shape or stay in shape ?

    For me, yes. I hadn't spoken to my father for several years. I connected with him and sent him pictures of me and the kids. He said that I had really gained some weight. I both loathed him for that comment and it motivated me to lose weight. I have other reasons, but I actually am not proud that it is so important for me to get my dad's approval. Weird, huh?
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Yes, up until about the age of 17 when I was fat and cared what people thought.

    Then I lost weight and decided not to give a flying one what other people thought. Ever since that time I've been told fairly regularly that I am attractive (this may sound arrogant but it is not meant to be.)

    There's a lesson there. Damned if I know what it is though...
  • CatTutt
    CatTutt Posts: 11
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    Yeah, as some of the others said, I had the dad who said "If you don't lose weight, you will never have a man." Which, I have proven wrong.

    But of all the comments {and believe me, there are many}, there is one that still sticks out in my mind. I had lost about 15 lbs. I was still around 230 lbs, but I had lost about 15. My friend convinced me to go out dancing with her. I was feeling a bit more confident than normal, so I decided to go. Then... when we were standing in line to get into the club, a couple guys walked by and one of them said "Whooo yeah, dance fatty dance!" I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

    I wouldn't say it's a big factor in my weigh loss, but I definitely do wish some of the rude people could see me when I'm done!
  • alishuman
    alishuman Posts: 62
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    I am thankful she was honest.

    How unloving was it of me to let myself go, knowing that when we married, I was a guy in peak condition?
    Love is neither blind nor unconditional.
    We've been married 28 years and she's in peak condition and expects to be equally yoked.
    If I had not lost the fat, she would have divorced me for sure.

    And I would have had ONLY myself to blame.
    Further, not that it would ever be, but if she was the fat one, same deal.

    I could never be married to that.
    In the dark, all cats are not grey.

    :noway:

    Thank GOD my husband doesn't think this way!

    Seriously!!!
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
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    Yes. My sister. Especially bout my hair and if I were skinnier.
  • candykay0605
    candykay0605 Posts: 1,019 Member
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    I am thankful she was honest.

    How unloving was it of me to let myself go, knowing that when we married, I was a guy in peak condition?
    Love is neither blind nor unconditional.
    We've been married 28 years and she's in peak condition and expects to be equally yoked.
    If I had not lost the fat, she would have divorced me for sure.

    And I would have had ONLY myself to blame.
    Further, not that it would ever be, but if she was the fat one, same deal.

    I could never be married to that.
    In the dark, all cats are not grey.

    :noway:

    Thank GOD my husband doesn't think this way!

    seriously!!!!!!!!!!! my husband loves me for me and THANK GOD for my husband not thinking that way!! luckily some people out there know beauty isnt just whats on the outside
  • DirtyHippieFeet
    DirtyHippieFeet Posts: 22
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    Yes. Often. In middle school, I was bullied relentlessly and told that I looked like a boy. In high school, I had few friends and didn't even get a "hello" from boys until I came back for senior year straight out of basic training and buff. I've heard guys I've dated laughing with their friends about me and get "eww...why?" looks from other women.
  • Pete1471
    Pete1471 Posts: 126 Member
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    Yes more than once especially when at school, but also after I left school. To be fair I am. It doesn't bother me I've a very thick skin. I think if you are told by your mum not in anger "I wish i had a miscarriage" and "you're a waste of a life "just because she wasted her life having kids and not doing the things she wanted, being told you are ugly is easy to deal with.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I am thankful she was honest.

    How unloving was it of me to let myself go, knowing that when we married, I was a guy in peak condition?
    Love is neither blind nor unconditional.
    We've been married 28 years and she's in peak condition and expects to be equally yoked.
    If I had not lost the fat, she would have divorced me for sure.

    And I would have had ONLY myself to blame.
    Further, not that it would ever be, but if she was the fat one, same deal.

    I could never be married to that.
    In the dark, all cats are not grey.

    :noway:

    Thank GOD my husband doesn't think this way!

    seriously!!!!!!!!!!! my husband loves me for me and THANK GOD for my husband not thinking that way!! luckily some people out there know beauty isnt just whats on the outside

    The only thing I could think of is how shallow is this marriage? What happened to "for better or for worse"? This is one of the reasons why divorce has risen - people just don't understand that love is deeper than the looks of your mate.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    in class I was giving valentine day cards to a few girls I liked. 1 tore it up and threw the pieces at me and told me I was ugly. ahhh to be 12 again. :laugh:

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