Negative Comments on the Boards

badgerbadger1

I gave up on asking questions on the forum, not because of the way I was being treated but because of SOME of the rude comments or remarks I saw posted on other peoples questions. I just started asking questions in my blog on here, and leave it at that. Unfortunately, not all of us are strong enough to "ignore" and move on. Some of us who are extremely overweight , already have low self confidence, and being put down just makes it worse. I am looking for support and not negative support. There is a difference between tough love and being a complete *kitten*.

Then that's you. I have yet to see anyone on this site EVER be rude to someone because they are overweight, extreme or otherwise. I see people calling out others on excuses. I see people correcting myths and misrepresentations. I may even see dead people, but NOT someone putting down an overweight member.

People can only make you feel badly if you let them. If you are going to be successful in this journey, you need to develop coping mechanisms. Blaming others for your self esteem issues is not a positive coping mechanism.

Jeff92se

ltaylor9597

I am with you on this! I find the best way to get the social aspect of MFP is basically find good, inspiring people and friend them. Then, I can keep up with the people I know will help motivate and support me and be a kind ear to listen to and be helpful. Hopefully I can be the same back. Still relatively new, so, my friends are a bit on the low side, but, the ones I have really have been fabulous and I rarely have to go out to the boards because I can get so much feedback and encouragement on my own friend feed

candykay0605

This is the internet. If you post on public message boards, you should have thick skin. If someone says something offensive to you, ignore them.

It's a shame MFP does not have an ignore option.

There is an ignore option here....just look at the little arrow under the avatar

OMG i have been looking for the ignore feature for a loooooonnnggg time

cryspetstalerson

I gave up on asking questions on the forum, not because of the way I was being treated but because of SOME of the rude comments or remarks I saw posted on other peoples questions. I just started asking questions in my blog on here, and leave it at that. Unfortunately, not all of us are strong enough to "ignore" and move on. Some of us who are extremely overweight , already have low self confidence, and being put down just makes it worse. I am looking for support and not negative support. There is a difference between tough love and being a complete *kitten*.

Then that's you. I have yet to see anyone on this site EVER be rude to someone because they are overweight, extreme or otherwise. I see people calling out others on excuses. I see people correcting myths and misrepresentations. I may even see dead people, but NOT someone putting down an overweight member.

People can only make you feel badly if you let them. If you are going to be successful in this journey, you need to develop coping mechanisms. Blaming others for your self esteem issues is not a positive coping mechanism.

I am not blaming others. I know if I can't deal with what is or may be said, then I wont post. I never said anyone was put down for being overweight , I said some of us that are extremely overweight already have low self confidence. Yes, I have seen people being put down, but I didn't mean for being overweight, I meant they were being put down for a question they asked. I may have worded it wrong so sorry.

However, now that you mention it, I did see a post where a member told another member, they shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place.

MyFeistyEvolution

nope not with you,people need to stop being so sensitive in my opinion

This.

Nopedotjpeg

It's not that nobody is supporting on this website. It's that there's a lot of dumb and unhealthy ideas about weight loss floating around on these forums, and people get sick of hearing about it. Nobody wants to support your HCG Juice Only Master Cleanse because it's unproductive and unhealthy.

anythingispossible83

totally agree with u... i thought this was a more mature site than say facebook, where u can be caught up in drama.. sometimes i post serious questions and get a few smart sarcastic responses... i just brush it off, bc like the saying goes:

when u talk about me, it says more about you.

QueenJayJay

When I first joined MFP, I was all about being active on the boards. Lately though, I have been laying low due to all of the negative posts and responses I have been reading.

Now let me by clear: by negative, I don't mean posting something that respectfully disagrees with another's post, or citing sources that refute someone's claim. If you think an OP was off on their facts, then it's perfectly acceptable to kindly steer them to some information that may be more helpful. But people are just getting down right mean and taunting. This is a place where all should feel free to come ask questions and share experiences. If you are one of those who makes fun of or is disrespectful in your replies, you should feel ashamed of yourself. You are nothing more than a bully and should leave the boards completely and forever.

If you feel the same way I do, let's ban together. We need to be heard louder than those with spiteful words. To me, this doesn't mean we attack those who are being out of line. It means we no longer stay silent. We need to counter-act their hurtful actions with loving and supportive actions of our own.

Who's with me!?

cheshirequeen

you want to see a true lack of respect and just being mean and nasty and spiteful, go to any meat vs veggies thread. half of the people are respectful, defend their meat/vegetarian/vegan beliefs and dont put anybody down for not agreeing with them. the other half are hateful, mean, nasty and just seeing how much they can p*ss you off. i dont even go into that one anymore. if you dont have anything to add to the conversation without being judgemental, just dont post and move on to the next forum.

Nopedotjpeg

totally agree with u... i thought this was a more mature site than say facebook, where u can be caught up in drama.. sometimes i post serious questions and get a few smart sarcastic responses... i just brush it off, bc like the saying goes:

when u talk about me, it says more about you.

I actually never have drama on Facebook. I hear this a lot from people though. I wonder why they would keep drama queens as friends on there.

cryspetstalerson

It's not that nobody is supporting on this website. It's that there's a lot of dumb and unhealthy ideas about weight loss floating around on these forums, and people get sick of hearing about it. Nobody wants to support your HCG Juice Only Master Cleanse because it's unproductive and unhealthy.

I completely understand that. Which is why before I ask a question, I search the forums, or the unofficial FAQs.

anythingispossible83

just look at some of the sarcastic responses ur getting on here. they could just as easily ignore but they choose to make it worse. it's life though, what can u do. they are just miserable people, and misery loves company.

QueenJayJay

totally agree with u... i thought this was a more mature site than say facebook, where u can be caught up in drama.. sometimes i post serious questions and get a few smart sarcastic responses... i just brush it off, bc like the saying goes:

when u talk about me, it says more about you.

I actually never have drama on Facebook. I hear this a lot from people though. I wonder why they would keep drama queens as friends on there.

I was just thinking the same thing. Aren't our Facebook friends people we're friends with in real life? What does it say about me if all of my Facebook friends are drama queens?

Nopedotjpeg

It's not that nobody is supporting on this website. It's that there's a lot of dumb and unhealthy ideas about weight loss floating around on these forums, and people get sick of hearing about it. Nobody wants to support your HCG Juice Only Master Cleanse because it's unproductive and unhealthy.

I completely understand that. Which is why before I ask a question, I search the forums, or the unofficial FAQs.

This made my day. Some people actually have common sense!

jenilla1

I joined almost a year ago and I remember how supportive and friendly everyone was. I loved it. I, too, have noticed a ton of trolls have signed up in recent months. Sad, but I think it's our new reality. Sure, sometimes people just get a little sensitive, but lately, every topic turns into nastiness...I'm not going to let it spoil MFP for me, though. Just stay positive and hopefully that will rub off on others! :flowerforyou:

anythingispossible83

I actually never have drama on Facebook. I hear this a lot from people though. I wonder why they would keep drama queens as friends on there.

you don't have to be friends to see it. for example the forum. there are ways to get points across without being "mean", that's all.

UsedToBeHusky

Wow! So this thread is still up??

Let me sound off here. The internet is completely accessible to anyone and everyone. Thus, anyone and everyone can be found anywhere on the internet. Therefore, you will get the full spectrum of opinions and sentiments at any one time. Personally, I think the mature way of dealing with it is to accept reality for what it is and deal with it. As others have stated, if you don't like someone's opinions or sentiments, MFP has made it completely possible for you to ignore and report said user. MFP has absolutely no way of filtering out who is going to say what at any time without it already being said. Yes, this is a supportive community, but everyone has their own opinion about the definition of the term "supportive". What you find unacceptable, might be acceptable to the next person. If you want people to stop judging you, then try stopping your judgments of them.

badgerbadger1

I joined almost a year ago and I remember how supportive and friendly everyone was. I loved it. I, too, have noticed a ton of trolls have signed up in recent months. Sad, but I think it's our new reality. Sure, sometimes people just get a little sensitive, but lately, every topic turns into nastiness...I'm not going to let it spoil MFP for me, though. Just stay positive and hopefully that will rub off on others! :flowerforyou:

This is another common internet complaint "when I first joined everyone was nice, but all these newbies just wrecked it". It's an incorrect perception, not reality.

Beastette

This is the best thing I've seen all year.


Carry on...