Worst Date Ever

slay0r

Hey Guys,

There's a thread in a group I'm in which has brought up some pretty funny replies so I thought I'd open it up to everyone!

Met up with someone a few months ago, we barely spoke because she was texting her mates so much. I kept buying her drinks hoping she was just nervous and she'd settle down but she text even more and even took a 10 minute phone call! That's when I was almost praying someone would ring me so I could get out of there! Surprisingly she looked annoyed when I only kissed her on the cheek at the end, how?! Complete lack of chemistry and conversation are killers!

There's gotta be way worse than mine..

Bahet

I met a guy at a party back in college. He walked me home and kissed me. It was the worst kiss ever. It was almost violent the way he smashed my mouth. I not only felt no chemistry I just wanted a drink to numb my sore mouth. He then proceeded to stalk me for the next 6 years.

2nd worst was after college I was working for a small company and a co-worker wanted to set me up on a blind date with a friend of his. After saying no a bunch of times I finally said OK. We decided that co worker and I would drive to a restaurant together where we would have dinner with his wife and their frined (my blind date.) As we were leaving work co-worker told me it would really be a blind date because his friend was blind. I was stunned. I wouldn't have minded if that little fact had been disclosed earlier but I didn't like that he waited until I was in the car on the way to the restaurant with no other option before he told me. It made for an extremely awkward evening. His wife called me at work the next day to apologize. What made it even worse was that the guy was really nice, a successful professional, educated, intelligent, and nice looking. If I hadn't been stunned and angry at being blitzed like that I think we might have hit it off.

slay0r

Aww that second one sucks, just be honest with these things! It's harsh on the guy as well he was probably dead excited and his mates effectively not been honest with you to get a date for him. Bet he was well bummed!

kirbykez

My first date with my bf sucked and I avoided him for ages before he finally convinced Me to hang out again.. been together a year now and he still annoys me and makes me cranky regularly but it's because we're both stubborn he wanted to pay for everything and I was miss independent wanting to do things my way!

shovav91

I once went out with a guy whose opening line was, "I know how to say 'blow me' in 26 languages". That was my cue to leave.

kirbykez

I once went out with a guy whose opening line was, "I know how to say 'blow me' in 26 languages". That was my cue to leave.

0_o I would of left too

azarazar

Must say I never had a really bad date. Only ever dated my wife and we have been married for 32 years since.

slay0r

I once went out with a guy whose opening line was, "I know how to say 'blow me' in 26 languages". That was my cue to leave.

Haha sorry to laugh at your misfortune but that's amazing on a new scale. What kind of legend has the balls to do that?!

I say legend, just got balls so big he couldn't sit down! Kind of a lead balloon kind of moment though, I'd be cringing if I heard anyone say that. Anyone else got any?

Renee0608

Got set up on a date by a good friend...........he picked me up and on our way to eat his mom called complaining about this, that, and the other.......we ended up having to take her to the hospital and spent our date sitting in the hospital waiting room.....for 5 hours.

polo571

I had a date once I picked up and she looked like Larry the cable guy woman version, reaked of booze and wanted to bring a 32 ounce big gulp with on the date. Sorry man, stuff happens lol

amber10101

I met up with a guy for a first date at a coffee shop. We spent a couple hours playing board games and having great conversation. I really enjoyed the time.

Two days later, I got an email from him that said: You seem really nice, but I don't think this will work out because you are a Green Bay Packer fan. Take care.

I thought it was pretty odd, but quickly moved on with life.

About 2 months later, I saw him at the grocery store. He was holding hands with another guy!

ednawhatnot

I have way too many awful dates to pick just one but they've given me some great stories to entertain my friends with.

_Ben

Ive been on several, all with my girl, its a miracle shes stayed with me through them all.

Lets put it this way, on our first date, we went to see Balls of Fury

karinaes

I once went out with a guy whose opening line was, "I know how to say 'blow me' in 26 languages". That was my cue to leave.

:sick:

DQMD

I went out with this guy a few times. He was signicfantly older and had a daughter. We were out to dinner and his daughter came with us. His daughter informed me that he had been married 3 times, and had 2 other kids. Not to mention a grandchild on the way. That would have been FINE but he had lied to me about the number of times he was married. Also told me that his daughter was the only one. He backtracked of course and was like um um...the first two really didn't count they were only married for a year or so. Not an hour later on the way back from the place..we told me he was looking for wife #4 and a step momma for his daughter. I told him...I just separated from my hubsand please don't push.

OH it gets more strange...two weeks later...

The girl's mother came into town for a visit. She stayed in the bedroom with the girl..I got it..Well he invited me over for dinner and said that it wouldn't be to strange. SO I went over for dinner. He told her that she may be looking at wife #4. Also he expected his daughter and her mother to wait on him hand and foot. He didn't even want to get up and get a drink of water. His house was a wreck, and had way to much stuff. So at that point I told myself that it wasn't going to get better, I excused myself and asked him to talk to me outside. I told him it is over. He texted me and emailed me several times but I never went out with him again.

Moonbyebye

I went out with a guy once and thought he was a little strange, but figured he was just a bit awkward since it was our first date. We went to a restaurant and on the way back he asked if we could stop at his moms house real quick. So when we did he asked me to come in and we spent like 2 hours there and his mom kept showing me baby pictures and things. After leaving she said "you'd make a great daughter in law," my jaw dropped. Also, after the date I awoke to a text message that said "I am falling in love with you," TALK ABOUT CRAZY! I think it runs in the family.

andreacord

I dated a coworker casually for a few months a couple summers ago. One night we went down to the ocean to have a campfire and pretty much all was good up until that point, when I decided to walk around in the sand with no sandals. BIG mistake! I stepped on a piece of glass and got it embedded in the bottom of my foot so we had to end the date to go to ER so I could get the glass taken out because it was a pretty big chunk. What's worse is his truck wouldn't start when we went to leave, so my Mom ended up having to come and get us to take us. I felt bad because he was so embarrassed. Not even two weeks later we went to a friend's cabin and the cut had just healed and when we were diving off the dock it was pretty shallow and I managed to scrape nearly the same spot on a gigantic rock. :grumble:

bjshields

I got fixed up by a (then) friend with a guy who told me he loved me before the date was over. I was like, "Ummm, I love you too??" and got out of the car. It was the first and last date! Ewwwww. :noway:

csklebar

I went out on a date with a guy and we hit it off really well, but then when it came to the kiss, it was so bad, he actually hoovered my entire mouth and I had to wipe my face three times with the back of my hand to get the saliva off. What a turn off!

Dtho5159

I guess I will consider myself lucky lol. Before my husband i only went out with one guy and I was 17 and he was 19.. I think the only downside was he was divorced with a 2 year old and a 1 year old at age 19! Yes that is the worst that happened lol. We broke up just before I turned 18 and my husband and I met 6 months later.

kellyhogg

I don't think I've had really any BAD dates. Just awkward, no chemistry type things.

tamerkins2

I met up with a guy for a first date at a coffee shop. We spent a couple hours playing board games and having great conversation. I really enjoyed the time.

Two days later, I got an email from him that said: You seem really nice, but I don't think this will work out because you are a Green Bay Packer fan. Take care.

I thought it was pretty odd, but quickly moved on with life.

About 2 months later, I saw him at the grocery store. He was holding hands with another guy!

Packer fan?! Sounds like a good reason not to be with you!! Sorry, I'm from MN so I have strong feelings towards Packer fans LOL!! But seriously, pretty funny you saw him with a guy a few months later.

To everyone else - sorry, but your stories are entertaining!! I don't really have a good one. I only went on a few dates before I started dating my husband when I was 16!

onedayillbamilf

I let my sister talk me into going on to a date....ok, she guilted me into it....with some random guy from the internets. She and her friend had decided to set up a profile on a dating site because they decided I'm ready to date. They said they were going to "screen" the guys for me. Apparently they were screening to make sure the guys were nut jobs! The same day she activated my profile this guy said he wanted to go out with me that night! She called me, I asked if she was F-ing crazy! What kind of desperate, pathetic, yucktard would want to go out before even having had a conversation? She told me I'm too picky and blah blah blah blah blah...so I went. He picked me up at her house, he was shorter than me (I'm 5'4") and looked creepy. I, right in front of him, wrote down his license plate number and gave it to my sister and told her "You might need this in case they find my body in a ditch." I get in the car and he asked where I want to go....um, dude, you didn't have that figured out first?! So then he said I told him I like to go bowling. I did? Thanks sis for emailing him all day pretending to be me. So I told him that sounds fine. He asked where the nearest bowling lanes were, when I told him he got huffy and said "UGH! I just drove from over there! *sigh*" (EXCUSE ME?!) We decided to do dinner around the corner first. All the way there, he complained about how awful his ex wife was. Once we arrived to the restaurant he yelled at the waiter....TWICE! I decided it was time to go to the bathroom and fake diarehha (I so spelled that wrong). I took my phone in the bathroom, called my sis, held my breath so my face would turn read and my eyes would water, then came out holding my stomach. Funny how he came out of the mens room whos wall backed right up the the womens room at the exact same time, then went over to yell at the bus boy for cleaning off the table when he hadn't even paid the bill yet. WHO GOES TO THE BATHROOM AND LEAVES THE TABLE COMPLETELY EMPTY WITHOUT PAYING THE BILL FIRST?!!!!!! I told him I needed to go home because my stomach hurt. The next morning, at 5:30 am I got a text from him saying "If I would have known you were pregnant I would have taken you to Kroger for free food. You didn't have to pretend to like me." In my defense, I didn't pretend. It was pretty obvious, but thanks for the fat joke dude.

The next guy I met on that same site I went out with one time. He stared at my stomach the entire time and asked repeatedly how much weight I want to lose....Oh, did I mention when he picked me up and I came around the corner, as soon as he saw me he hung his head and started walking the other direction?

I have several more that I won't include. I have no idea why I just don't give a dang about dating right now. Weird, right?

beskimoosh

I went on a first date with a guy, he said we'd go bowling and for dinner, which I thought was sweet, because I haven't been bowling since I was about 14 (I was 21 at the time). That's not quite what happened. He took me to a model railway museum and made me look around, then took me bowling and got out his own special bowling ball and shoes (I don't know about in the US, but in the UK, that's not normal). He then took me for fish and chips.

Oh, then on the way out of the chippy, told me about how his first time had been with a hooker. In depth. And showed me a picture of her that he'd saved from her "profile".

Strangely enough, I was not that into him after all of that!

danibabs

I got fixed up by a (then) friend with a guy who told me he loved me before the date was over. I was like, "Ummm, I love you too??" and got out of the car. It was the first and last date! Ewwwww. :noway:

Was his name Ted Mosby?

Mist1981

My bad date was actually just a few weeks ago. Went out with a guy that I was already kinda on the fence about because there was not a lot of physical attraction but he was very intriguing, and we had great conversation so I decided to give it a shot.

So we go to Mi Cocina with I LOVE! I had mentioned earlier that their margaritas (mambo taxis) are dangerously strong. So we sit down and the waiter immediately comes over, I order water with a lemon, and he tells the waiter she would also like a mambo taxi. At first I was like that was weird, but I had mentioned them so I rolled with it. He then told the waiter that we were ready to order. I was sitting there trying to rush to find something to order because we had JUST sat down. Next thing I know the man orders for me, and something I would never eat. Well, I am not very confrontational so I just kinda rolled with it. They brought the food he ate his and I didn't touch mine, he asked if I wasn't hungry, and I just said I am hungry but I hate what was ordered for me. We then went to see Girl With a Dragon Tattoo, and I was so uncomfortable with him during some of the sexual scenes. Was just weird. Not to mention he had mexican food burps all night. We finally get back to my car, and he leans in to kiss me. That is when I told him I am sorry but this date was horrible. I think he is a nice guy but was very offended when everything was ordered for me, and that I didn't want to go out with him again, etc.

JujiBean

I got set up on a blind date by a well-meaning roommate. She said he was tall, dark and handsome. Successfull....on and on.

Grudgingly I went.

He wasn't any of those things. He was extremely short, ugly and drove a beat up old Chevy. (The kind with a hole in the floor boards.)

He lead the conversation off by saying that he was phychic. He told me to pick a number between 1 and 10. If he guessed the number correctly, I'd have sex with him...like right now.

Of course I refused. Finally, after a lot of badgering (and me trying to figure out how to get out of this date) I gave him a number (no sex attached!)

The number was "4." He proudly opened the glove box and pulled out a piece of paper with the number 4 on it. Again, he tried pushing for sex. (Ugh, I'd known him for maybe 7 minutes.)

It didn't take me long to figure out that he had 9 other slips of paper hidden around the interior of the car, each with different numbers on them.

Slimeball.


It gets worse, my roommate was pissed off at me for "ruining" the only date he'd had in a long time. She moved out in a huff.

jr1985

I wouldn't even call it a date... but I agreed to meet this guy from the internet about a year ago... He apparently didn't have a car so wanted to take the train to come meet me which I was NOT ok with... For 1, unless I know someone I don't want to be alone in a car with then, and for 2, its 12 hrs later from when the morning train comes in, and when the night train goes out and I did not want to spend 12 hrs with a stranger... So I was visiting my friend in the town where he lived anyways so I agreed to stop by and see him there while I was in town. I went to his college campus so again I was thinking I could avoid the whole being in a car with a stranger thing.... I brought my friend I was visiting to meet him with me... I know, super lame on my part, but it was my first time meeting a guy from the internet I was nervous ok. lol. We chatted for a little bit but his English really wasn't great, so it put a damper on conversation... Then when we go to leave he said he doesn't live on campus and needs a ride back to his house... my friend was with me, so ok fine, Then he invites us in, and we go in just to be polite, the place was a disaster! moldy dishes everywhere, used clothes slung all over the place... then he shows us the bedroom and says that's where the magic happens and asked if we were up for a little roll in the hay since we were there anyways... We got out of there pretty quick... soooo glad I didn't let him come visit me!

monocot

I met this Guy, he was 12 years older then me(I had just turned 19), meet him online and meet him at a bar with my gay friend, so i wouldn't have to be alone with a complete stranger. My date bought my Friend All the drinks he could drink and I had to buy my own, At one point when my friend had walked away, he's like You'll be like a tiger in bed won't you and ran his finger nails down my arm and growled at me.Then after sending my friend home in a cab, he insisted on walking me home, where he kept trying to grab my *kitten*. He asked for a kiss and I told him no so he asked for a hug and I said I guess and he tried to kiss me. Then told me When he does get me into bed he hopes I got pregnant cause he was getting older and really wanted to have kids,
Awkward, He messaged me a ton after that but I was way to creeped out to speak to him again

AubriaJordan

I have way too many awful dates to pick just one but they've given me some great stories to entertain my friends with.

I too have way too many funny/bad dating stories that my friends are always entertained by. They now ask me when my next date is and cant wait to hear the stories... just when I think Ive dated every type of guy out there another one pops up out of no where....

xMedullaOblongatax

I went out with this guy a few times. He was signicfantly older and had a daughter. We were out to dinner and his daughter came with us. His daughter informed me that he had been married 3 times, and had 2 other kids. Not to mention a grandchild on the way. That would have been FINE but he had lied to me about the number of times he was married. Also told me that his daughter was the only one. He backtracked of course and was like um um...the first two really didn't count they were only married for a year or so. Not an hour later on the way back from the place..we told me he was looking for wife #4 and a step momma for his daughter. I told him...I just separated from my hubsand please don't push.

OH it gets more strange...two weeks later...

The girl's mother came into town for a visit. She stayed in the bedroom with the girl..I got it..Well he invited me over for dinner and said that it wouldn't be to strange. SO I went over for dinner. He told her that she may be looking at wife #4. Also he expected his daughter and her mother to wait on him hand and foot. He didn't even want to get up and get a drink of water. His house was a wreck, and had way to much stuff. So at that point I told myself that it wasn't going to get better, I excused myself and asked him to talk to me outside. I told him it is over. He texted me and emailed me several times but I never went out with him again.

I read a few funny ones on here, but WOW. That just... that gives me the chills!