11 Year old needs help

a6ftdiva

hey everyone! My 11 year old daughter is having such a tough year...

She lost 2 Great Grandmothers over a period of 6 months and had her ADHD medication changed. she is Theater kid NOT a sport kid AT ALL... Cheerleading was the best we could get from her. She has flat feet and is overweight, although not by that much. She seems to be stalled in the height area and I see her watching the other girls her age grow taller and thinner.

My daugher is about 20 lbs overweight. She also has only one friend who is most definintely obese.

I worry constantly about her and dont know where to begin to help her without screwing with her head. Any ideas on how to get her off her butt and moving? she is very solitary and sedintary...and quite happy that way.

She also eats like cr*p... and has since birth (she was a preemie and has always had an aversion to textures) so she does not eat any fruits or veggies AT ALL (except for French Fries)

this child is so beautiful (literally has the face of a model) and can sing like an angel, I just worry that her weight will become more of an issue as she gets older adn I want her to be healthy!

any suggestions would be great

nickyskins

See if a gym by u offers a Kidz Fitness class! I see kids at my gym all the time doing these types of classes. They seem to have a very good time. They work out and make friends at the same time!

shvits

Swim class. Hide the veges in the meat (meat loaf with lots of veges). My son did not like meat....he ate chicken fried rice and sneak veges in there too! Good luck.

AnninStPaul

Theater and/or dance classes?

Fattack

There's a really excellent book called The Sneaky Chef - recipes with "hidden" veggies! There are some free recipes on the site too:

http://www.thesneakychef.com/

It seems she also has a book called Sneaky Fitness - about sneakily getting your child fitter! Good luck!

jlnk

How about you and her start walking together? Could be great bonding time and you could phrase it that YOU need a walking partner.

evansjune

My 11 year old son is about 12 pounds overweight. We are pushing smaller portions and are not keeping junk in the house. He also doesn't like veggies but will eat fruit so that helps. We go on nightly walks and are sending him to the playground with friends more. Both of these are great for exercise and the best part, he has no idea he is doing it! Good luck with your daughter!

thor1god1of1awesome

if she likes theater and not cheerleading support her and as far as what she eats, you bring the food in the house, she can either eat what there or not eat at all.

emily356

The only thing you can really do is set a great example and do lots of home cooked meals with veggies at home. We have rules about meals. You sure don't have to eat anything, but will get nothing till the next mealtime, and that will be more healthy food. They get hungry. They eat. It will not hurt them!!! It will truly help them!!! If you can be encouraging at home, maybe some of her tastes will change. She is def. old enough to be taught about health. My kids hear health all the time, I never talk about weight or fat, we don't say those words. Just about energy and health and fuel for the body.:) She could also help at the grocery store. Let her pick some fruits or veggies herself to try, and let her help in the kitchen in the preparation as well if you think that being more involved would help. That is so tough, but is not irreversable!!! Hang in there!!!

Tweety379

I have heard that the dancing games on the wii are good for kids and get them up and moving without realizing it. I have a friend with a 4 year old that loves to play Just dance and will try to do the dances with us when we play. It is fun for all!

xHelloQuincyx

the only thing i can tell you is dont mention weight to her at all, mention health. my mother saw the same thing in me (exept she never offered me good food only crap. i didnt even know if i liked it.) her words somehow escalated into me having an eating disorder and wrecking my (almost) entire highschool experience and eventully switching schools (online) my senior year. and isolating myself from all of my friends. like the others have said i would try to get her interested in some kids sports, groups, walking with the family. do not buy her french fries. make a healthy alternative at home. this isnt something you can fix in a day. I am now going to school to become a preschool teacher, its proven that a child can try (or see) a food over 20 times before they will actully like it. i like baked squash cut like fries now. almost just like french fries but its full of good things. you need to help her understand that what she puts into her body is important. look at chocolate milk, there is as much sugar in there as candy. explain to her how you can make substitutions to change how healthy you can be! most of all be a model for her.

donnam40

Hi,

Nice to see your concern.

I am afraid I do not have any good advice here. I have been struggling with one of my daughters (now 15) since about the same age. I have tried so many things with her but nothing seems to work. I find it frustrating that she will say to me that she wants to look better, then choose to binge on anything she can get her hands on. At home we NEVER eat takeaway and have a look at my food diary to see the sort of food we eat each day. We have a very clean diet with the occasional treat.


Similar to your daughter, she lost 3 grandparents in a short period of time and it has bee tough on all of us. I have had her in therapy but she does not use any of the strategies suggested to her. She actually said to me she wishes she could just take a pill to lose weight. When I do get her to actually train with me she loves it and the way it makes her feel but she just cannot seem to motivate herself. I try to get her to train with me whenever I can. but our schedules don't always work.

A classic example of Lydia is netball last year. She assumed she would just make the team without turning up to any training. My husband and I both told her to go to training but she would not listen. She ended up in tears because she did not make the team and instead of learning from it she decided they just did not like her.

As for your daughter, I hope you have better luck than me. I have tried PT's, dieticians, naturopaths and therapists. All I can say is I have tried my best and ultimately, Lydia will be responsible for whatever happens to her.

Interestingly, my eldest daughter loves to run, eats right instictively and generally looks after herself. Lydia gets frustrated by the fact Lauren is in better shape than her but does not see the hard work put in. Both have had the same upbringing so maybe it is hard to battle nature.

Donna

ALW65

Can you make it a family project? All of you go to see a nutrition counsellor/dietician, check out healthy recipe cookbooks from the library, plan a family exercise day (or two or three) ... this would avoid placing the emphasis upon her, make it a health related focus rather than diet focus, and hopefully help out everyone. Depending on how good your pediatrician is with communicating you may want to pull her/him into things also....again, you could bring it up at a visit in terms of the family making healthy changes

Hope you are able to make small changes and move things in the right direction - I'm sure you will

ceabelle

The only thing I would suggest,is what ever you do pls make it FUN for her!! My child (ten years old) is also on ADHD meds and it completely kills the appetite, so I'm having the reverse problem.
I agree with the other suggestion, most gyms now-a-days offer kid membership, maybe this could be a family goal (everyone works out together). My child also swims...this not only helps with weight-lost, but with taming some ADHD actions (a good way to get out energy!!)
My heart goes out to you, I pray that you find support and something that works for your child and your family.

Ceabelle

akninsas

My daughter was the same way, she had no athletic ability and I couldnt get her off the couch for anything. I cant get her to do anything! I started serving my children only serving sizes when it came to dinner. No seconds unless it was salad. I just quit bringing a lot of junk food and started finding healthier options to start them off. Each week I would have them pick a new fruit and vegetable of their choice to try and would figure out a way to make it or use it. It was a great experience for all of us.

As for the exercising, I made them go with me to the park and they had to do one mile with me. They could choose to ride a bike, scooter, or just plain walk or I would take them to the skating rink and we would all have a fun family day and they didnt feel like ti was exercise. I have taken my daughter with me to a Zumba class once a week. Once my daughter started middle school she had chosen a dance class as one of her classes and fell in love with it and realized she had a lot of natural talent and is now on the dance team. Her dancing helped slim her down a lot.

thinnerisstronger

Since she's into theatre, maybe try getting her into dance as well? The two go hand in hand!
Try getting her involved in the cooking. Teach her about healthy eating. Get creative in the kitchen and make healthy food fun and interesting.

Of course, sometimes preteens can be stubborn and just need to learn on their own. You just have to be the good example.

samantha64118

The best thing you can do for her is help her get healthy without being singled out. Make becoming healthier an entire thing your family sets out to do together. Start cooking healthier meals, she will learn to eat them...as hard as at may be to say no, you're the parent here and you have to do what's best for her. Go for walks together as a family, or play a game of basketball or whatever it is you like to do.

I would also strongly recommend talking to her doctor or pediatrician, because even though all of us can give you advice, it won't be as good as his coming from a medical professional.

I'm glad you're making an effort to help her, because she will only gain more weight and it will be even harder if you don't do it now.

Weight is also not the only issue...she could be perfectly "normal" looking, but if she isn't eating right it could be dangerous. Take a glance at this article.. http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/health/article-2092071/Stacey-Irvine-17-collapses-eating-McDonalds-chicken-nuggets-age-2.html

Good luck

addisondisease

My mom: Eat your beans
Me age 12: I hate beans
Mom: well you can either eat it for dinner now or for break fast tomorrow
beans for dinner it is.

Practice some discipline. Also for her activity level, have you join a sport, rock climbing, karate, dance, larp, quiddicth anything.

shadowkitty22

Well if you have any game consoles, you can try getting the dancing games (like Dance Central for the Xbox 360 Kinect). It gets her moving to fun music within the confines of her own house. So she doesn't have to go anywhere and no one has to see her do it if she's self conscious or anything. I love my Dance Central and honestly need to do it more often.

KYMUSE

hey everyone! My 11 year old daughter is having such a tough year...

She lost 2 Great Grandmothers over a period of 6 months and had her ADHD medication changed. she is Theater kid NOT a sport kid AT ALL... Cheerleading was the best we could get from her. She has flat feet and is overweight, although not by that much. She seems to be stalled in the height area and I see her watching the other girls her age grow taller and thinner.

My daugher is about 20 lbs overweight. She also has only one friend who is most definintely obese.

I worry constantly about her and dont know where to begin to help her without screwing with her head. Any ideas on how to get her off her butt and moving? she is very solitary and sedintary...and quite happy that way.

She also eats like cr*p... and has since birth (she was a preemie and has always had an aversion to textures) so she does not eat any fruits or veggies AT ALL (except for French Fries)

this child is so beautiful (literally has the face of a model) and can sing like an angel, I just worry that her weight will become more of an issue as she gets older adn I want her to be healthy!

any suggestions would be great

I fight this same battle with my soon to be 11 year old son and I believe the ADHD medicine, as well as hitting that "pre teen" phase leads to the solitary tendencies. I give him an hour every day when he gets home from school to do or be anywhere he wants-but after dinner there is no tv, no video games-we do something as a family..centered around being healthy. When the weather permits we take our bikes to the park, long hikes on week-ends, etc. In the winter we do Wii fit games-even exercises videos-he loves his 1 lb. hand weights! ha ha

My son is a horrible eater and I have to own the fact I let him be that way. I will keep his favorite foods-but they are treats, not an every day item. He wants chocolate chip cookies after his shower at night...he only gets them after eating a healthy dinner.

Good luck:)

PirateJohn

My mom: Eat your beans
Me age 12: I hate beans
Mom: well you can either eat it for dinner now or for break fast tomorrow
beans for dinner it is.

Practice some discipline. Also for her activity level, have you join a sport, rock climbing, karate, dance, larp, quiddicth anything.

Word.