11 Year old needs help

katiebythebay

My son at that age, was chubby too. My doctor told us to "slim" him down but honestly, he grew "horizontally" and lost it eventually.

I don't think 11 years old is really the age to be concerned about weight, but I will add that the bad eating habits need to be broken as soon as you can. Those habits may stick with her, if you're not careful.

There was someone on MFP that posted that her overweight daughter had great results from playing the Wii, of all things. It got her up and active and best of all, it was fun for her - she didn't even know she was losing weight (I don't think she realized it, but her mother sure noticed the difference.)

I can't believe I'm telling you to put her on video games, but it might just do the trick.

You're a good mom, by the way. Your concern is touching and I wish you guys luck.

Please let us know how's she's doing, along the way...

~katie

seaglass2

Talk to your pediatrician!

DS started to gain weight just before the onset of puberty this is *normal*.

From a nutrition standpoint he was eating healthy - just hungry all the time. One tweek I made was to cut out gatorade when he went to camp in the summer and gave him water instead. He was given a sports drink when. he went to practice for the electrolytes.

You posted that your DD is not eating well so I would work on that and encourage her to be active n ot necessarily play sports.

tinapo85

I was a chubby kid and stayed chubby until my first year of college, then I lost 30 lbs (because I had mono and became a vegetarian at the same time). Once I moved out of the dorms and got my own place i lost another 10 lbs and I have kept it off (mostly, I fluctuate a bit) for about 7 years now.

My mom always tried to get me to exercise, eat better etc and it didn't work. I was really into music and theater as a kid and as a teen and lately I have gotten into dance myself.

If I were you I wouldn't nag too much, just stress the health issues and eventually she will grow out of it.

m0dizzle

Stop buying "crap" food and only buy healthy foods. Find cleaner things she will like- e.g. make your own granola bars, french fries, etc.

Send her to dance class! It's similar to cheerleading, helps with theatre, and pairs well with a nice voice- I took 3 classes at once when I was younger and it kept weight off. Suggest hop hop, jazz, and tap. Maybe even a zumba class or similar.

angel79202

support her

agadoogirl

Well I didn't actually read ALL of these suggestions so I'm not sure if this has already been suggesten, but maybe try starting a vegetable garden together? She may be mor inclined to eat vegetables if she grows them herself and is proud of what she has accomplished? Make eating healthy fun for her

This is a great idea and one which is really popular in a lot of schools here. The kids grow lots of high yield vegetables and fruits like tomatoes, snow peas, strawberries etc and then cook with the stuff that they grow. It gets them thinking about new foods and menu planning and results have shown so far that kids are embracing all sorts of new foods.

It can be really hard to find foods if you're funny about texture, but if you can think of alternative ways to serve them that might help. I put fruit into smoothies for breakfast because I can't handle biting into things like blueberries that pop in your mouth. Spaghetti is a great place to hide puréed vegetables, we make tacos with lentils mixed through the mince, would she eat chips made of sweet potato-you could handcut them and oven cook them.

If she's interested in theatre and performance rather than sport, how about circus school? It's super high energy without being "sporty". All the dance suggestions are great, anything that makes her aware of how her body moves will help if she gets into theatre, but be aware it might have a negative effect on her body image depending on the kids in the class. Hip hop could be fun for her too.

Good luck with it, it'll probably take a bit of work but stick with it

DQMD

My SO's 14 year old daughter is going through the same thing. She is more like 70 lbs overweight and is teased in school horribley. Tonight she had a meltdown and I had to talk to her about it. She knows how hard I have worked, she only sees me as I am now but I wasn't always. I told her I am still fat in my head.

So I am going to start walking with her when I get out of work. IF I do it she will do it. The only thing we disagree on is the low carb thing. Her dad and her do low carb and havve much more calories & fat than I do. I track calories, carbs and fat. They told me if they ate 75 carbs they would gain weight... So I fight that battle with them.

gregpack

Kudos to you. Helping her reach her teen years and a transition into healthy lifestyle when she leaves the nest is one of the best things you can do for her.

How about a little dog that needs DAILY walks?. Just a thought......

Lisa__Michelle

Tell her you want both of you to make sure you get exercise to be healthy. Encourage her to walk with you for 30 minutes at least 3-5 days/nights a week.

helenkayj

I REALLY want to reply here but I'm struggling with what to say. My dad is a physician's assistant and knows the health issues of being overweight and my mom is a teacher and saw the social issues with being overweight...
I remember the day my mom approached me about my weight. I was 11 and she simply suggested that I cut out my after school snack. A HUGE fight followed and followed for the next 20+ years!
My parents went about it all wrong. There was no example setting because EVERYONE else in my family was athletic and smaller.
Phrases that stick out in my mind the most: "Are you sure you need that?" "Are you really hungry?" "You're eating again?" "How much have you exercised today?"
And then there were the "general" comments that were said to the group but I know were aimed at me.

By the way, the comments saying "start parenting" are cruel. She is obviously parenting by being worried about her daughter. She's on here asking questions on how to improve her daughters life and asking how to do it without damaging her for life like my parents did.

carleyfunk

My daughter was like that. She is not my biological child. She is my husbands daughter and was mentally abused by her mother. She was at least 40 to 60 pounds over weight. She is an artist and didn't like sports at all. I started puree ing the vegetable and hiding them in her food. Such as pancakes, beans and almost anything possible. Then she got to the point where she would drink green smoothies as long as she didn't have to eat her veggies. And truthfully there were more vegies in there then I could ever get her to eat. Then one day she saw me playing softball and wanted to give it a try. She got down to a healthy weight but will always battle the bulge. Just take one step at a time. Take her on walks or just get her out side. We have a wii and do the michael jackson experience. My daughter was ten when we started this battle. Oh and she is adhd, but non medicated. She had a rough time making friends too. She is now 13 and has a lot of friends and mostly happy with herself. Don't lose hope. I had to fight for her health.

3trees

I can talk about my own daughter's odyssey. At 11 she was 10 or so pounds overweight. For a child that age, that shows. Kids are mean. She was teased. I told her if she wasn't teased about that, it would be something else. I tried to help with her diet. I encouraged exercise. I bought a book with a program for kids - simple steps - and tracking some exercise. All had no effect. She really loved the worst of fried foods and since I had none in the house, she would beg. I'd take her out for onion rings about once a week. I provided limits, but nothing was banned. I was afraid of eating disorders, etc.

The next summer, she decided she wanted to lose weight. She started counting calories. It was hard for her and for me. She would get grumpy. But she did it. No web site (I wasn't on MFP yet). So, she went back to school in the fall pretty thin and kids were still teasing her. She thought if she was thin she'd be popular. Hard lesson, there. But a good one.

She decided to run cross country in 8th grade. Then she learned she could eat more when exercising. She liked that. She toned up and slimmed down more. Somewhere during this she also stopped buying school lunches and brings her own food. She has a lot of good, healthy snack choices. She likes yogurt, applesauce, veggie chips (not the best choice), air popcorn, bananas, other fruits, fruit smoothies (homemade), etc.

It's taken her several years, but she looks great now. Really great. She is also stronger mentally about what others say about her and her friends. She has friends of all weights - that's not an issue. She runs in the fall and spring and watches what she eats during the winter (and puts on a pound or 2 - not that I can tell, but she tells me).

She's happy and has a good mix of friends. But the key was that it came from within her. Your daughter may also be old enough that you can't really control her eating - nor do you want to. But if she doesn't want to change, it's going to be hard. Having good eating choices in the house, and helping her pack a lunch for school, are probably the most important. Weight loss is 90% diet. Give her good diet choices. Find good snacks she likes. Look out for 100 calorie packs that are full of chemicals and are just smaller portions of junk food (some are good, some are junk). Allow treats on occasion, but have rules. Even now I have limits for my daughter that I'll only take her to Panera or Chipotle once a week. Partly that's financially motivated - but we also eat better if we make it ourselves.

As for exercise...I've seen friends take their kids to kid boot camps that the kids hated. You want to build a good relation to exercise. I actually discouraged my daughter from running on a school team. She seemed to have so little stamina back then. Some sort of reverse psychology (unintentional) and now she loves it and does well. Fencing, more acting, just about any activity that your daughter shows interest in would be good choices. Cheer leading, at least around here, is something my daughter tried and found it pretty brutal when she had extra weight. She did it with friends, but only for one year. Maybe your local Y or community center has kids classes - show her a list of options - maybe one will appeal to her?

Best wishes to you and your daughter!

sarahsmom1

My daughter was the same way, she had no athletic ability and I couldnt get her off the couch for anything. I cant get her to do anything! I started serving my children only serving sizes when it came to dinner. No seconds unless it was salad. I just quit bringing a lot of junk food and started finding healthier options to start them off. Each week I would have them pick a new fruit and vegetable of their choice to try and would figure out a way to make it or use it. It was a great experience for all of us.

As for the exercising, I made them go with me to the park and they had to do one mile with me. They could choose to ride a bike, scooter, or just plain walk or I would take them to the skating rink and we would all have a fun family day and they didnt feel like ti was exercise. I have taken my daughter with me to a Zumba class once a week. Once my daughter started middle school she had chosen a dance class as one of her classes and fell in love with it and realized she had a lot of natural talent and is now on the dance team. Her dancing helped slim her down a lot.

My daughter was or is heavy and used it as a positive instead of a negative she couldn't, run, jump, had no rhythm, but by George she found out she had a talent for the field sports she became a thrower. She was national champ and state champ in High School and received scholarship for 2 University's, now she is an Olympic Style Weightlifter she is now training for the Olympics. There is also a hula hoop, bicycle, skating, bowling all great family fun, karate, swimming, equestrian, wrestling everyone is good at something you just need to find out what it is. Dont sell them short as athletes. Good luck

sarahsmom1

hey everyone! My 11 year old daughter is having such a tough year...

She lost 2 Great Grandmothers over a period of 6 months and had her ADHD medication changed. she is Theater kid NOT a sport kid AT ALL... Cheerleading was the best we could get from her. She has flat feet and is overweight, although not by that much. She seems to be stalled in the height area and I see her watching the other girls her age grow taller and thinner.

My daugher is about 20 lbs overweight. She also has only one friend who is most definintely obese.

I worry constantly about her and dont know where to begin to help her without screwing with her head. Any ideas on how to get her off her butt and moving? she is very solitary and sedintary...and quite happy that way.

She also eats like cr*p... and has since birth (she was a preemie and has always had an aversion to textures) so she does not eat any fruits or veggies AT ALL (except for French Fries)

this child is so beautiful (literally has the face of a model) and can sing like an angel, I just worry that her weight will become more of an issue as she gets older adn I want her to be healthy!

any suggestions would be great

I am going to give you the same response as I did another My daughter was or is heavy and used it as a positive instead of a negative she couldn't, run, jump, had no rhythm, but by George she found out she had a talent for the field sports she became a thrower. She was national champ and state champ in High School and received scholarship for 2 University's, now she is an Olympic Style Weightlifter she is now training for the Olympics. There is also a hula hoop, bicycle, skating, bowling all great family fun, karate, swimming, equestrian, wrestling everyone is good at something you just need to find out what it is. Dont sell them short as athletes. Good luck

curvygirl512

My daughter is the world's pickiest eater. I think it's a texture thing for her as well. A previous post mentioned a vegetable garden, and all my daughter will eat is the herbs--basil, parsley, sage, maybe some baby lettuce and baby chard. She would probably eat rosemary if I let her.

She's also full of energy. We started walking together, and now my daughter takes off on a run the second we get out the door. There's no competition, no one watching her, just the wind in her hair and the excitement that she's doing something better than her mom. We don't have a dog, but I'd love to have one for our walks. This way, the dog could walk my daughter.

Amber82479

The only thing you can really do is set a great example and do lots of home cooked meals with veggies at home. We have rules about meals. You sure don't have to eat anything, but will get nothing till the next mealtime, and that will be more healthy food. They get hungry. They eat. It will not hurt them!!! It will truly help them!!! If you can be encouraging at home, maybe some of her tastes will change. She is def. old enough to be taught about health. My kids hear health all the time, I never talk about weight or fat, we don't say those words. Just about energy and health and fuel for the body.:) She could also help at the grocery store. Let her pick some fruits or veggies herself to try, and let her help in the kitchen in the preparation as well if you think that being more involved would help. That is so tough, but is not irreversable!!! Hang in there!!!

^^ THIS

shiseido_faerie

Theater and/or dance classes?

This was my thought too

smileybooliz

Kudos to you. Helping her reach her teen years and a transition into healthy lifestyle when she leaves the nest is one of the best things you can do for her.

How about a little dog that needs DAILY walks?. Just a thought......

A dog is a great idea!! They help mentally too! She'd probably love the unconditional love they give!!

My daughter also had many eating issues as a young child and was overweight. I could count what she would eat on one hand. So frustrating!! She is now 18 and eats so many different foods. Now that she's older and I can talk with her about her eating issues she explained to me it was mostly a texture issue for her. I noticed with her that she was much better after she went through puberty. She was mentally and physically more mature and grew out of a lot of her eating and weight issues. Maybe that isn't the norm but she did grow out of a lot of her eating issues. I never made a huge deal about food. I didn't want her to develop an even worse eating disorder by me being neurotic about things. I just loved her and encouraged her in all that she did. She's a beautiful young women now who eats healthy and loves to exercise.


at 9yrs.

at 18yrs.

MaryHarbin

It may not help much but get a gaming system that requires you to move(ie: xbox kinect, wii). It will start the process.

jillpelkey

Keep the old "eating together" trick in mind. In my family, thats a very important rule. It keeps everyone eating the same things and something to look forward to so you dont snack all day. (And say no to granola bars, apparently those can load on so me extra difficulties FAST)

nesstle

When I was her age I was considered fat, but then puberty kicked in and my body started adapting , I stayed the same weight but grew into myself and by time i was 14 I filled very well and was a normal weight.
There wad two rules in my house that kept m e from being overweight , mum had tons of fresh fruits and vegies around for us, no junk in the house so we didn't eat it, it was a treat you had at birthdays.
And 2 you have to play a winter sport , I played netball hated it, but changed to soccer and loved it! Was great at it.

Oh and a 3rd was you don't eat the food given you go hungry.

Kids will do as they are told.

ninerbuff

hey everyone! My 11 year old daughter is having such a tough year...

She lost 2 Great Grandmothers over a period of 6 months and had her ADHD medication changed. she is Theater kid NOT a sport kid AT ALL... Cheerleading was the best we could get from her. She has flat feet and is overweight, although not by that much. She seems to be stalled in the height area and I see her watching the other girls her age grow taller and thinner.

My daugher is about 20 lbs overweight. She also has only one friend who is most definintely obese.

I worry constantly about her and dont know where to begin to help her without screwing with her head. Any ideas on how to get her off her butt and moving? she is very solitary and sedintary...and quite happy that way.

She also eats like cr*p... and has since birth (she was a preemie and has always had an aversion to textures) so she does not eat any fruits or veggies AT ALL (except for French Fries)

this child is so beautiful (literally has the face of a model) and can sing like an angel, I just worry that her weight will become more of an issue as she gets older adn I want her to be healthy!

any suggestions would be great

Well I'm betting she doesn't grocery shop. It should start with food. As for exercise, she just needs to be introduced to something she will probably do.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

moleighsmom

I have heard that the dancing games on the wii are good for kids and get them up and moving without realizing it. I have a friend with a 4 year old that loves to play Just dance and will try to do the dances with us when we play. It is fun for all!

My kids are always jumping in to do the Wii Zumba with me, or maybe another workout video you could tell her you need "help" with. Also got Jessica Seinfeld's Deceptively Simple cookbook. Sneaks veggies in everything, even desserts!

But I know all too well about not wanting to mess with her mind. My father-in-law did quite a number on my daughter, years later we are still working through it. As long as you focus on being healthy and having fun doing it, you will be on the right track. Glad she has a mommy that takes such an interest.

PanteraGirl

Leadership by example.......she is 11 years old....she learns from her mother.Try and get her to partake in the activities that you do!! It may make her more motivated doing activities with her mom therefore lose some weight.....