How to not cry when getting your *kitten* chewed??

135

Replies

  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
    Responding in kind reduces you to that person's low pathetic form of existence, so I would rule that out (if I were you).

    See the person for whom they are really revealing themselves to be. Pity them for the sad, pathetic person that you know that they are. Be above it. Not that you are superior to everyone else. But you are superior to that person, if you allow yourself to be.

    As far as crying as an initial response. That is something you may have little control of. Try to see this bigger picture about this interaction, and that may help. Pity that person.
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    Wow, is sure need help with this one two...we need some suggestions from emotional females, not logical men!!

    ::facepalm::

    I'm the most emotional man you'll ever meet in your life. However my emotions don't dictate my gender OR my behavior! Jeez! And they call MEN sexist...
    Looked for the original, and it's been redacted. Some awesome comment edit wizardry! :laugh:
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Wow, is sure need help with this one two...we need some suggestions from emotional females, not logical men!!

    ::facepalm::

    I'm the most emotional man you'll ever meet in your life. However my emotions don't dictate my gender OR my behavior! Jeez! And they call MEN sexist...

    I LOVE YOU! ^^

    OP: I am an unemotional woman, I'm not less of a woman for that!

    Look, when you're talking to him/her and (s)he starts to yell ask him/her to lower his/her tone as you can hear him/her fine, sit up right, and maybe just tell him/her, "Look I did these things wrong and here is how I intend to fix it"

    Also, if you AREN'T wrong tell them that.

    You aren't a girl, you are WOMAN, so don't act like a "little girl" and don't think you have to "man up" your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.

    There are many ways that people identify sexuality/gender, however, crying isn't one of them, please don't try to say that crying is womanly or that not crying is manly.
  • jeffazi
    jeffazi Posts: 198
    I happen to enjoy getting my *kitten* nibbled on

    :tongue:
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    Offense cannot be given. It can only be taken. Rarely is the so-called "offender" EVER meaning what the person calling "OFFENSE!" has taken it as.

    Next time you feel offended, try to use that "logical" section of your brain.
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
    Wow, is sure need help with this one two...we need some suggestions from emotional females, not logical men!!

    ::facepalm::

    I'm the most emotional man you'll ever meet in your life. However my emotions don't dictate my gender OR my behavior! Jeez! And they call MEN sexist...

    I LOVE YOU! ^^

    OP: I am an unemotional woman, I'm not less of a woman for that!

    Look, when you're talking to him/her and (s)he starts to yell ask him/her to lower his/her tone as you can hear him/her fine, sit up right, and maybe just tell him/her, "Look I did these things wrong and here is how I intend to fix it"

    Also, if you AREN'T wrong tell them that.

    You aren't a girl, you are WOMAN, so don't act like a "little girl" and don't think you have to "man up" your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.

    There are many ways that people identify sexuality/gender, however, crying isn't one of them, please don't try to say that crying is womanly or that not crying is manly.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    Tears are my default reaction to every emotion, but I defintely have reached a point in my life where I don't take crap from people. I tend to lose respect for anyone who would think "chewing out" is the way to talk to another person. If it's someone I am personally involved with, I remain calm and tell them "I will not participate in this exchange. I will listen to your concerns when you are able to talk to me with respect. It is not okay to talk to me in the way you are currently talking. I will not participate." The calmer the better--it drives them NUTS.

    If it's someone in the work place, I again, remain calm. Listen to what they say, and then say. "I understand where you're coming from. I'm sorry I let you down. Let me make this right." But the only reason that I can do that is because for the first time in my professional career, I care less. I actively try to divest emotionally from my work environment. It's a whole lot easier to manage the situation when you have no emotional stake in it and you really believe that the issue is the other person's shortcomings and not your own. :wink:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    damn double post
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    I find naturally being a bit** prevents people from chewing your a** off as they are afraid of having theirs handed to them.

    ^^^^This, exactly! I work in a male-dominant field, and have to project a strong, confident image. or they'd eat me for lunch!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Demand respect and respect will be given. If not, go to HR.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    Wow, is sure need help with this one two...we need some suggestions from emotional females, not logical men!!

    ::facepalm::

    I'm the most emotional man you'll ever meet in your life. However my emotions don't dictate my gender OR my behavior! Jeez! And they call MEN sexist...

    I LOVE YOU! ^^

    OP: I am an unemotional woman, I'm not less of a woman for that!

    Look, when you're talking to him/her and (s)he starts to yell ask him/her to lower his/her tone as you can hear him/her fine, sit up right, and maybe just tell him/her, "Look I did these things wrong and here is how I intend to fix it"

    Also, if you AREN'T wrong tell them that.

    You aren't a girl, you are WOMAN, so don't act like a "little girl" and don't think you have to "man up" your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.

    There are many ways that people identify sexuality/gender, however, crying isn't one of them, please don't try to say that crying is womanly or that not crying is manly.

    :love: i big puffy heart you so hard
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!

    And I feel a Betty White quote coming on...
  • smcolton
    smcolton Posts: 78
    I read somewhere that if did math in your head you could not cry. So when I feel like crying and do not want to do so in front of other people I start multiplying.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    I'm strong and take it like a woman.
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!

    Two words: natural childbirth.

    'Nuff said.

    :tongue:
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
    I read somewhere that if did math in your head you could not cry. So when I feel like crying and do not want to do so in front of other people I start multiplying.

    What do you do if math makes you cry?

    (For those that can't tell, yes, I'm being facetious.)
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!
    Two words: natural childbirth.

    'Nuff said.

    :tongue:
    I've squeezed some serious turds out sans pain-killers.
  • TiffanyDawn79
    TiffanyDawn79 Posts: 201 Member
    I know it sounds weird but I trained myself to not cry. My ex-husband would get his rocks off by making me cry and I started REFUSING to give him that satisfaction/thrill. Last (Jan.) my boss chewed me out all day saying I was worthless and will never make it and that I should just go work retail because that is all I would ever be good at. Blah blah blah. I looked at him and smiled and said " I would get paid more I bet." But once he stormed out I lost it... I cried and wouldn't stop I was so angry, and that he made me cry after not crying before that in about a year. But again at least I didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much it hurt. That was also the last time I cried. When I feel like I am going to cry, I pretty much scream at myself in my head to stop and put your big girl pants on. Crying is weakness (imo). Anyway I hope you can figure what works for you :) good luck!
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 962 Member
    I think the question that needs to be answered before anyone can give a helpful response is, who is chewing you out, and for what? Parents, boss, fitness trainer? The answer would be different for all of those.

    I do love the response along the lines of "I'm right here, act like an adult." - that's golden. Especially if it's something where there is an audience and the other person is just looking for a power trip.


    And hear this - crying is NOT weakness, it does NOT make you weak or less of a person. You are a woman and there is no reason for you to try to be anything else. Okay? Crying is a healthy response and release of emotion. Tears literally release stress hormones from your body. It's fine to cry. What's not fine is another person thinking it's okay to treat you with disrespect.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    Wow, is sure need help with this one two...we need some suggestions from emotional females, not logical men!!

    ::facepalm::

    I'm the most emotional man you'll ever meet in your life. However my emotions don't dictate my gender OR my behavior! Jeez! And they call MEN sexist...

    I LOVE YOU! ^^

    OP: I am an unemotional woman, I'm not less of a woman for that!

    Look, when you're talking to him/her and (s)he starts to yell ask him/her to lower his/her tone as you can hear him/her fine, sit up right, and maybe just tell him/her, "Look I did these things wrong and here is how I intend to fix it"

    Also, if you AREN'T wrong tell them that.

    You aren't a girl, you are WOMAN, so don't act like a "little girl" and don't think you have to "man up" your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.

    There are many ways that people identify sexuality/gender, however, crying isn't one of them, please don't try to say that crying is womanly or that not crying is manly.

    ^^^ This exactly. I have never cried when confronted with something at work I just listen - then I concede and pledge to do better and throw out ideas to help me do this or I provide information/documentation to show I actually am doing what I should be. I think I'm very womanly :flowerforyou:
  • MissO﹠A
    MissO﹠A Posts: 906 Member
    Short of having my nose broken and/or being forced to watch Andy leaving in Toy Story 3, I'd never give anyone even the slightest pleasure of seeing me vulnerable in a work environment.

    I can't say that I've ever had anyone in a higher position "chew my *kitten*" -- even when I was getting fired from one of my earlier jobs. I guess I'm lucky that I've never had to work with someone that thought it was okay to speak to their employees or colleagues in that manner. And, I've worked with some truly ****ty, detestable people. Should ever I find myself in such a situation, I trust that the last thing I'd be doing was crying over it.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Picture them as the pathetic little thing they are.
    Be careful. There are people on MFP that actually go around to threads under the guise of "anti-bullying" and "protecting the innocent" - I wouldn't want your harsh words misinterpreted and reported.
  • Gwen7121
    Gwen7121 Posts: 126 Member
    I took a class once called Communication Skills for Women. The speaker actually addressed this situation. She said to rub the skin between your finger and thumb. Also, (if you can do it wihtout looking like you are rolling your eyes), look up toward the ceiling. And a deep breath always helps.

    I know it sounds like speaker mumbo jumbo, but it usually works for me.
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
    Instead of listening to them, I sit there in my head and chew their *kitten* back!
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!
    Two words: natural childbirth.

    'Nuff said.

    :tongue:
    I've squeezed some serious turds out sans pain-killers.

    So YOU'RE the guy that that one South Park episode was about!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Any suggestions? I hate looking like a weak little girl when I get upset and cry when I get chewed out. I need to be strong and take it like a man! Lol, any suggestions???
    I am incredibly hypersensitive. It's just the way I'm wired. There are pros and cons to this characteristic. But it won't go away. I've had to learn behaviors and thought patterns to not let it rule my life.

    There is a difference between not becoming a mess because you made a mistake and someone talked to your sternly, or even yelled - and standing up for yourself when confronted with verbal abuse. Based on your original post, I will assume you are talking about the former. I'm also going to assume you meant "take it like a man" as an idiom for being a little tougher, and not commentary on gender stereotypes. Because, you know, that might start a debate where we have little detail or follow-up explanation to go on (but that won't stop us from posting our politically-charged opinions). For a lot of people yelling can trigger childhood stuff, which is obviously beyond the scope of this discussion.

    There is some good advice already posted. I think you have to decide that no one can harm you unless they physically assault you. People will argue this point. But that's why I'm calling it a decision. You can decide whether to be offended/hurt/etc. in response to someone's words. At the very least, you can decide how to react. How much power and control do you want to give over to others? Ask yourself that question. You can affect how much, if not control it completely.

    When I make a mistake, I am quick to own up to it. I find it's easier that way. If someone wants to yell at me for it, that's fine. I don't really care. If the yelling continues, is in front of co-workers or other people, I might care more. If the yelling is a pattern, I might want to change that relationship. I strive for this perspective: the way someone else handles their emotions is none of my business. Easier said than done, I know. But I strive for it. I hope some of this helps.
  • jhartram
    jhartram Posts: 165
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!
    Two words: natural childbirth.

    'Nuff said.

    :tongue:
    I've squeezed some serious turds out sans pain-killers.

    LOL Let us know when one is 9lbs 4oz and alive... or just call Ripley's...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do

    Punch.gif

    this.
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    ...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.
    For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!
    Two words: natural childbirth.

    'Nuff said.

    :tongue:
    I've squeezed some serious turds out sans pain-killers.
    LOL Let us know when one is 9lbs 4oz and alive... or just call Ripley's...
    I'd post a pic, but the mods would be all over me.
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