For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

mnichol

Can I venture maybe he just wants to be friends? :frown: Its been my experience if a guy is interested in you, you'll know it, i'm sorry it sounds like your very frustrated with the situation.

ZombieChaser

Here's the thing, when you're in your 30s, if a guy's not mature enough to put the games aside, he's not worth your time. I say, walk up to him say something like, "Hi. I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to get together for some coffee or something?" Guys like instructions.

This! ^^ Guys might not admit it, but they like to have their ego stroked (yes, EGO!) every once in a while too.

No guess work here, just plain and simple

Go for it, girl! Woot!

caveats

I thought it sounded crazy but I have no game so was thinking I was maybe just clueless, lol.

If you act like someone you're not, you're going to attract someone who likes her ... not you. And to keep him, you'll have to always be that "other self". That's just not fair -- not to him, and most importantly, not to you.

Be yourself, and let the chips fall where they will. If you're honest with yourself, and you're honest with interactions with others, you'll attract who YOU want and who is good for YOU.

RaeLB

when i like a guy i tell them

crazy i know

scapez

If said guy knows you're interested (for sure, as in you've told him as much OR have let him know in a very clear non-verbal way) and you're not sure of his feelings for you, I would assume, as mnichol said, that he may want to just be friends.

When a guy is truly interested, you'll generally know without having to guess.

KimmieBrie

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Hmm... It seems he's getting advice from the same people as you.

LOL - sounds that way to me too.

Just get it over with and ask the guy out if you like him. Like ripping off a band aid... it can be painful to put yourself out there - but in the end you'll have your answer good or bad. If he says yes - great! If he says no - chalk it up to his loss and move on. No more confusion.

DeeJayTJ

So need some guy advice. A lot of my friends are telling me to ignore the guy I like to give him the option to "chase" me. Is this good advice or as ridiculous as it sounds. lol. If I ignore him, will he not lose interest?

wthell? is this highschool?

be straight up... games are stupid and get you no where.

if a girl ignores me, i wont chase her ill just say whatever and move on.

Hernandeak11

Every girl I know who does these kinds of things with men are in and out of relationships more times than I can count.

I've been in an incredibly healthy relationship for quite some time, and I'm always forward, honest, and confident.

pixieakabigd

Don't play games if you want to have a healthy relationship, just become good friends and see what happens! If you are just out for a bit of fun, go ahead!

ErinBeth7

Here's the thing, when you're in your 30s, if a guy's not mature enough to put the games aside, he's not worth your time. I say, walk up to him say something like, "Hi. I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to get together for some coffee or something?" Guys like instructions.

Oh Lord have mercy!!! If only there were instructions to the dating game!!!

ncahill77

I always liked the direct but not clingy approach as in "I like you, you have a shot with me but I won't be chasing you, your move" that pretty much leaves it all up to the guy and let's you pursue but back off all at the same time. There is no misinterpreting that.

cg2cop

Just tell the truth

down_ell_beez

Honestly don't flat out ignore a guy. But don't make it so easy and available. That is definitely when I become uninterested in a girl. If she is too easy it makes it seem like she's desperate.

ErinBeth7

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Hmm... It seems he's getting advice from the same people as you.

LOL - sounds that way to me too.

Just get it over with and ask the guy out if you like him. Like ripping off a band aid... it can be painful to put yourself out there - but in the end you'll have your answer good or bad. If he says yes - great! If he says no - chalk it up to his loss and move on. No more confusion.

Wonderful advice!! I've mostly had luck when I come forward. The one time I didn't was because he just didn't want a girlfriend....with anyone! So, be brave.

willidewbaby

First guys are not that smart to think "is she playing hard to get?" And then like everyone else said, who has time to play games.

onefitdiva

I am a woman not a guy, so pardon me posting please. But I have a lot of adult nephews (6) and live by a fire station where I know the men very well, so they ask me about women and what's up with us or "what our deal is"..... They hate games, they also hate clingy women who text every 30 seconds. From what I can gather from them, be natural but be direct....once.... if there is no reply then he is not interested. But don't play with him to see if he will come running, I know men who have figured this tactic out and avoid the woman on purpose, finding the chase me thing a bit lame. Sorry if that was blunt. I am not always the best at getting a point across subtly. :ohwell:

rocketmouse

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Real talk: He sounds awful. I'm not sure what you think will be better in your life if you somehow "win" this guy's affections but this is one of the hallmarks of emotional unavailability and you need to save your energy and emotions for someone who's not going to **** around

bjs06

Don't ignore him...but don't hang off him either. I just read "Why Men Love B!tches" and it made sense...appear busy, if he wants to go out Wednesday night, ask him if he can do Friday instead because you have blah blah blah to do. Appear independant, not needy.

I disagree. Dont appear busy - BE busy. Fill your life with things you love, be independent. Eventually you and a good guy (who you don't have to write to mfp to ask advice on) will find each other.

12skipafew99100

Letting him chase you is never a bad idea, but you wont try if he doesnt even have a clue that you're interested.

Flirt a little, let him know you brought your trunks to the pool party, then back off and see if he responds.

lol This^ this sounds right from a girl

DaveJ_43

I think, Ignoring is NOT the best way. When I was single, if women ignored me I assumed she was not open to a relationship. Let him know you are interested in a low-key way. You'll know immediately if he want to pursue a romantic relationship and you won't be left wondering. Good luck. Hope Cupid strikes!

ganesha303

Don't ignore him...but don't hang off him either. I just read "Why Men Love B!tches" and it made sense...appear busy, if he wants to go out Wednesday night, ask him if he can do Friday instead because you have blah blah blah to do. Appear independant, not needy.

Thanks for reminding me of one of the many reasons I am happy to not be in the dating pool. But back when I was "on the market", if I felt like a lady was playing these kinds of games, I'd drop her like a bad habit. I am all about keeping it real. Honesty, Integrity, open communication!

RaeLB

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Ask him what is going on. Say you're interested but you're getting mixed signals from him. That should clear things up.
I'm a big fan of communication. Oh how the world would be a much simpler place.

RaeLB

double post oops

rocketmouse

Don't ignore him...but don't hang off him either. I just read "Why Men Love B!tches" and it made sense...appear busy, if he wants to go out Wednesday night, ask him if he can do Friday instead because you have blah blah blah to do. Appear independant, not needy.

I disagree. Dont appear busy - BE busy. Fill your life with things you love, be independent. Eventually you and a good guy (who you don't have to write to mfp to ask advice on) will find each other.

RIGHT. ON.

warmachinejt

if a girl ignores me...it means she is not interested
imagine this... what other way can i know a girl is not interested other than her ignoring me? if he knows you like him and ignores you he doesn't like you (or is that much into you) or is a little kiddie playing with you

Secret_Agent_007

People always want what they think they can't have. It's human nature. I wouldn't suggest ignoring him but playing hard to get certainly will keep the chase on. If he's really into you.

JulieBoBoo

I'm not a guy, but direct worked for me. Begin as you mean to go on is my view.

Smuterella

Just be yourself, the problem with playing games is that, if someone falls for you they are falling for the false front you put on to play those games. You want someone to want you for YOU, not a pretend version of you that you wear to try and reel them in.

itsuki

Ah yes, there's no better way to start a relationship than with manipulation and mind games.

DaveJ_43

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Ohhh - If he is backing off when you give him your attention, he is probably not the guy for you, sweetie. You should back off yourself, and start looking for other relationship possibilities.