For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

djsysstem

Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

mattpusateri

Just be direct.

Guys can reading being ignored in many ways, not many of them good. Instead, be straightforward, but casual. I agree with the other guys who said that we tend to be clueless and miss a lot of hints from women. We also waste a lot of our brainpower thinking about stuff like football, video games, and poker and often don't catch the little subtle hints women may be sprinkling in front of us.

Suggest grabbing a drink, or going out to shoot pool, or getting Thai food sometime. Something fun where you can laugh and have a little fun without the weight of big expectations. Somewhere along the way, you can hit the switch and turn on flirt mode...


Good luck...

duharvalgt

To a certain extent "absence makes the heart grow fonder": but in my case it didn't, I didn't know my ex liked me until she told me so. Most times I just thought she was ignoring me

timmymon

i hate when people play games...If you like somebody go for it! It makes everything much easier and natural when you actually do hangout. If somebody ignores me I just stop trying and completely lose interest

Smuterella

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Ohhh - If he is backing off when you give him your attention, he is probably not the guy for you, sweetie. You should back off yourself, and start looking for other relationship possibilities.

What is that horrid but oh so true phrase "He's just not that into you"

If he knows you like him and hasn't made a move yet then I think you need to write it off.

danibabs

I told my guy I liked him. He said he didn't want to ruin our friendship. I started to move on (wasn't ignoring him but stopped trying to impress him/flirting). A month later we were dating - he made the first move - and we've been together since. Just my personal experience.

KimmieBrie

Honestly don't flat out ignore a guy. But don't make it so easy and available. That is definitely when I become uninterested in a girl. If she is too easy it makes it seem like she's desperate.

What the heck is so easy and available? What's too easy to you? If a man thinks a direct approach - meaning - saying something like " I'm interested in getting to know you better, how about dinner?" is easy or desperate - then they've got some twisted view of things probably from playing too many games.

If a woman is semi-stalking a man - txting & calling all day, following them around, showing up on purpose where they know that man will be - well that's another story...

raige123

I am a woman not a guy, so pardon me posting please. But I have a lot of adult nephews (6) and live by a fire station where I know the men very well, so they ask me about women and what's up with us or "what our deal is"..... They hate games, they also hate clingy women who text every 30 seconds. From what I can gather from them, be natural but be direct....once.... if there is no reply then he is not interested. But don't play with him to see if he will come running, I know men who have figured this tactic out and avoid the woman on purpose, finding the chase me thing a bit lame. Sorry if that was blunt. I am not always the best at getting a point across subtly. :ohwell:

Actually ... this made a lot of sense! And brutal honesty is the only way to be!

Bentley2718

I can tell you, if I'd ignored my husband, acted busier than I was, brushed him off, etc. we would NOT be together. That said, I wasn't needy or clingy in our early relationship. I made it clear I was interested, touched base about once a week early on, but wasn't pushy/clingy/needy. A lot depends on the personality, if he's a "chaiser," then he might respond to "playing hard to get," but a lot of guys aren't. I'd say make your interest known, and see how he responds. If you know he's shy, you'll likely need to be more forward than with less shy guys.

chauncyrenayCHANGED

Flirt a little, let him know you brought your trunks to the pool party, then back off and see if he responds.

Agree.

angiemartin78

Here's the thing, when you're in your 30s, if a guy's not mature enough to put the games aside, he's not worth your time. I say, walk up to him say something like, "Hi. I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to get together for some coffee or something?" Guys like instructions.

^^^Love it...Especially the instructions part!

Okieace

If you ignore him how is he suppose to know you are interested? Maybe by letting him know you will catch his attention. Women are treasures, they should be respected, pursued, fought for, and valued. You need to find a guy willing to pursue you and fight for you. But he isn't likely to put in the effort if you don't catch his attention and drop him hints.

grapenutSF

Everyone's different, of course, but I'd say it depends on age and maturity level. Directness without neediness is generally appreciated in adulthood.

PepeGreggerton

For me personally, I prefer direct approach with no game playing. I would assume that if you are playing games now, it will continue, and that would turn me off.

^This, I don't chase. I don't play games.

nilesbollinger

Direct is best IMO.

Chagama

If being ignored means a girl likes me, then I guess all the girls back in High School must have really liked me.

bigjeffyc105_deleted

I would just talk to him, communication is key and if you don't have that you can't have anything..

Hollhollholly

My friends going through the same sort of thing, she's always the first to talk to him. I think waiting for him to initiate talking won't kill anyone and might help you figure out if he's willing to make the effort but don't outright ignore him if he does lol

YouAreTheShit

Anything put a direct comment is pointless. The passive approach will only produce marginal results, if any. Be straight up...

Pir8Rav

Go with the direct approach - cuts the bull**** raises your self-worth value and you get what you want or at least its on the table and you've you drawn a line in the sand.

Doesn't work when fishing though.

Fish never jump in the boat - they like the games.

GreenEyedGrl86

A lot of my friends are telling me to ignore the guy I like to give him the option to "chase" me.

Honestly, I think the last time I did that, I was summarily ignored right back. :noway: :sad: :laugh:

Unless it's Twister, Mah Johng or Scrabble, games are totally not for me.


Be yourself and good luck! :flowerforyou:

^^ This, and ditto the Xbox and PS3.

auticus

Oh yay games. Feel free to play them. But in the end when they move on to someone who was a bit more direct with them, don't ask why.

albinogorilla

playing hard to get never worked on me

therealangd

Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?

pain_is_weakness

I am old fashioned, I show interest in a guy but I perosnally don't make the first move. I don't ask to hang out but I show interest in him, his life, and what he does.

ShandiH

Can I venture maybe he just wants to be friends? :frown: Its been my experience if a guy is interested in you, you'll know it, i'm sorry it sounds like your very frustrated with the situation.

I'm not a guy but I just can't stop myself from commenting. I agree with the above post. If he already knows you are interested and still dances back in forth from acting like he's interested to not then he may just want to be friends. It's not an answer you may want but it just may be the truth. Don't ignore either . . . stupid advice.

Annette_rose

Well, just great...it appears each man is an individual as to whether or not they want you to be bold or not, lol. So, now comes the guessing game of figuring out what way the guy you are interested in likes it, hehe. Blah...I am just now back in the "single" life so these responses discourage me as they are all so different. I guess all we can do is be ourselves and if it works for them, it works..if not, then it doesn't.

auticus

Also I personally don't play games or participate in them. If I show interest in a woman and she ignores me or just gives empty flirts but backs off when I ask her out or show interest, I lose interest and leave them alone. I have more than enough things to do in my life than to participate in games. I'm too old for that ****.

Note I've also been primarily single for 9 years now so maybe I'm just "doing it wrong".

ZombieChaser

Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

Woah, that's a tricky situation you've found yourself in... Personally, I wouldn't get romantically involved with someone who's engaged or married, or even in a relationship. That's bad news; someone WILL get hurt, whether it's you, her or her fiance (yes, there's another person's feelings to consider here as well). She's made it clear that you're nothing more than friends, so now it's up to you if you can handle being "just friends" or if you can't - and move on.

djsysstem

That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.

Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?