For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

GoodbyeGut

He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

Then what's the issue?

Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

Hmm... It seems he's getting advice from the same people as you.

Too funny! Down South we call this opossum fightin'!

ItsCasey

To the OP, it depends on what your friends mean by "ignore him." If they're telling you to pay no attention to the guy whatsoever, that's stupid. If they simply mean you shouldn't be the one to initiate contact, I agree with that, especially since he already knows you're interested. A man who is interested in you doesn't need any more than that. But don't play these ridiculous "how can I make him interested in me" games. He either is or isn't. And for pity's sake, do NOT go and talk to him like you're already in a relationship (i.e. "you're giving me mixed signals ..."). That's pretty up there on the Fatal Attraction scale.

To this guy:

Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

If she's calling herself someone's fiancee but doesn't wear his ring and isn't sure she should marry him, run away as fast as you can. Even if she IS interested in you, she's clearly got some issues, and you'll end up as the next finace whose ring she won't wear and isn't sure she should marry, while she's off helping some other dude with a "project."

ATT949

You should definitely play head games with him so he has no earthly idea what your feelings are.

Certainly, he'll figure out that you ignoring him is your way of saying, "I like you," and he'll respond in kind.

(this is sarcasm)

Wonderfully stated. Thank you for the laugh!

JanieJack

Guys always say the want to girl to ask them out, tell him she likes him... but the 2 guys I've done that with, both after a couple months of hanging out, instantly put me in the "friends" category after I told them how awesome I thought they were and how I hoped the hanging out would lead to more.

One friend was honest enough with me to tell me it can take way longer for a guy than for a woman to decide if he has deep feelings (that is, feelings beyond the initial lust that fuels the first couple months of his interaction), and by saying I liked him I put too much pressure on him to reciprocate when he still didn't know how he felt about me.

Not suggesting games. Just also not suggesting telling him you like him. There are other ways to encourage guys (smile, say their name a lot, touch their arm when they're talking to you, stuff like that) without blurting out your feelings.

YMMV

delilah47

You should definitely play head games with him so he has no earthly idea what your feelings are.

Certainly, he'll figure out that you ignoring him is your way of saying, "I like you," and he'll respond in kind.

(this is sarcasm)

lolol you bad
i like your style

delilah47

if you are playing games and attract a guy that likes "the chase" then you find you really like him, you will end up getting hurt because when the chase is done.. so is he

RedHotChiliSteppers

Damn man, that sucks but shes already got her path made for her.

I guess do what your heart feels. Sucky situations there!

DS67ATX

You should talk to him,make the first move,guys love that.I know I do.