For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

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  • GreenEyedGrl86
    GreenEyedGrl86 Posts: 117
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    A lot of my friends are telling me to ignore the guy I like to give him the option to "chase" me.


    Honestly, I think the last time I did that, I was summarily ignored right back. :noway: :sad: :laugh:

    Unless it's Twister, Mah Johng or Scrabble, games are totally not for me.


    Be yourself and good luck! :flowerforyou:

    ^^ This, and ditto the Xbox and PS3. :)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Oh yay games. Feel free to play them. But in the end when they move on to someone who was a bit more direct with them, don't ask why.
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
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    playing hard to get never worked on me
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
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    I am old fashioned, I show interest in a guy but I perosnally don't make the first move. I don't ask to hang out but I show interest in him, his life, and what he does.
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
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    Can I venture maybe he just wants to be friends? :frown: Its been my experience if a guy is interested in you, you'll know it, i'm sorry it sounds like your very frustrated with the situation.

    I'm not a guy but I just can't stop myself from commenting. I agree with the above post. If he already knows you are interested and still dances back in forth from acting like he's interested to not then he may just want to be friends. It's not an answer you may want but it just may be the truth. Don't ignore either . . . stupid advice.
  • Annette_rose
    Annette_rose Posts: 427 Member
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    Well, just great...it appears each man is an individual as to whether or not they want you to be bold or not, lol. So, now comes the guessing game of figuring out what way the guy you are interested in likes it, hehe. Blah...I am just now back in the "single" life so these responses discourage me as they are all so different. I guess all we can do is be ourselves and if it works for them, it works..if not, then it doesn't.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Also I personally don't play games or participate in them. If I show interest in a woman and she ignores me or just gives empty flirts but backs off when I ask her out or show interest, I lose interest and leave them alone. I have more than enough things to do in my life than to participate in games. I'm too old for that ****.

    Note I've also been primarily single for 9 years now so maybe I'm just "doing it wrong".
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    Woah, that's a tricky situation you've found yourself in... Personally, I wouldn't get romantically involved with someone who's engaged or married, or even in a relationship. That's bad news; someone WILL get hurt, whether it's you, her or her fiance (yes, there's another person's feelings to consider here as well). She's made it clear that you're nothing more than friends, so now it's up to you if you can handle being "just friends" or if you can't - and move on.
  • djsysstem
    djsysstem Posts: 115 Member
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    That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.
    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    She told you: You are nothing more than friends. Believe her.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?

    IMHO the other guy's feelings are not really his concern--after all, he's not engaged to the guy, and hasn't made any commitment to the guy. If anyone should be worried about the other guys feelings, it's the fiance.

    That said, regardless of whether this woman is actually interested in you, I'd say steer clear, it sounds to me like she's either (1) really not interested, (2) playing you, or (3) doesn't know what she wants. Number 1 is okay, maybe she is just friendly, but 2 and 3 are not good signs. I'd say find someone else to be interested in.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Well, just great...it appears each man is an individual as to whether or not they want you to be bold or not, lol. So, now comes the guessing game of figuring out what way the guy you are interested in likes it, hehe. Blah...I am just now back in the "single" life so these responses discourage me as they are all so different. I guess all we can do is be ourselves and if it works for them, it works..if not, then it doesn't.
    You should count the number of people who posted and advocated for "ignore" (very few of them) and the number of people who advocated for "tell him/show interest" (lot more).
    Now if you want to play it smart, optimise your ROI by not ignoring, since statistically it works better. Truth is if you are less than 25 years old, you've got to play with this "game" bull**** but as you grow older people like to be more straightforward (they know what they want more).

    Thing is don't harass the guy, give him some leeway - but that does not mean ignore him.
  • dfborders
    dfborders Posts: 474 Member
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    Didn't read the whole thread - and I'm not a guy - but if he absolutely knows you like him and hasn't responded I would suggest be direct - ask him out. What do you have to lose? Maybe he is seeing someone else right now or not interested in a relationship. At that point you can then, maybe become friends, but at least know what your options are and choose to continue focusing your energy on him or place it elsewhere and maybe find a great guy:noway:

    I kind of speak from experience because a bunch of my friends always told me I am easy to read and too truthful and should play a little cooler and harder to get. I tried it and laughingly enough the man I am now happily married to is just like me - our first in-person meeting (after we had talked online and over phones) I tried to play cool and say maybe we could go to dinner sometime - he came back with - what's wrong with tonight:bigsmile: After that we talked every night over the phone and spent as much time as we could together on weekends and ended up buying a house six months later. It is so great to be with someone that I can be myself with.

    Sorry for the long response - hopefully not too far off topic - just trying to point out that as much as we like/love our friends - our romantic partners are ours - we need to listen more to ourselves and what we want and what will work for us than what works or has worked for our friends. Good Luck:flowerforyou:
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.
    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?

    No, that's HER and HER fiance's problem. The fact that YOU think he doesn't take care of "his woman" (I have a problem with that statement btw) is not your decision to make. She's made it clear that you and her are just friends. Don't complicate the issue.

    To the OP: Sorry for the thread hyjack btw...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    He's just not that into you. It hurts.. I know. But if he knows you're into him and he's off and on... then he's off.

    You could always talk about it with him. I know it's scary but I believe in being direct!!! Get answers for yourself if you truly feel confused... right out of his own mouth instead of what your head thinks up.
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
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    Honestly don't flat out ignore a guy. But don't make it so easy and available. That is definitely when I become uninterested in a girl. If she is too easy it makes it seem like she's desperate.

    This is what I agree with. I've been married a while, but if I were back 'on the scene' then this is what I would do and not to prove anything to the guy, but to prove something to myself. Someone who is truly intrigued will at least put in a small effort to show they're willing to chase. If this hurts a guy's self esteem and it scares him off, he's not going to be a guy I'm interested in anyway, so it's better in the long run.
  • Thad81
    Thad81 Posts: 138 Member
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    For me if you ignore me I assume that u are not interested and i will not pursue. I am as dense as a box of rocks when it comes to women and flirting so anyone that is interested in me has to be fairly direct. I dont mean like clingy but at least willing to talk to me.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.
    Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.

    So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.

    Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?

    If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?

    Before we were married my husband was away for 7 months, twice. He was also away frequently for shorter periods of time (4-6 weeks usually). In the first three years we were together, he was away more than he was here. Did that mean he didn't care, not at all. He would have preferred to have been with me, but sometimes life doesn't let you have what you want right when you want it. So I don't think him being physically gone is a reason to diss him. Also, as someone else said, if she told you straight out that she's not interested, take her on her word, if she lied or was "playing" that's her problem.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Depends on the guy. If he's an introverted type like me he'll just take your ignoring him as a sign you're not interested.

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