For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?
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Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
She told you: You are nothing more than friends. Believe her.0 -
Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
IMHO the other guy's feelings are not really his concern--after all, he's not engaged to the guy, and hasn't made any commitment to the guy. If anyone should be worried about the other guys feelings, it's the fiance.
That said, regardless of whether this woman is actually interested in you, I'd say steer clear, it sounds to me like she's either (1) really not interested, (2) playing you, or (3) doesn't know what she wants. Number 1 is okay, maybe she is just friendly, but 2 and 3 are not good signs. I'd say find someone else to be interested in.0 -
You should count the number of people who posted and advocated for "ignore" (very few of them) and the number of people who advocated for "tell him/show interest" (lot more).Well, just great...it appears each man is an individual as to whether or not they want you to be bold or not, lol. So, now comes the guessing game of figuring out what way the guy you are interested in likes it, hehe. Blah...I am just now back in the "single" life so these responses discourage me as they are all so different. I guess all we can do is be ourselves and if it works for them, it works..if not, then it doesn't.
Now if you want to play it smart, optimise your ROI by not ignoring, since statistically it works better. Truth is if you are less than 25 years old, you've got to play with this "game" bull**** but as you grow older people like to be more straightforward (they know what they want more).
Thing is don't harass the guy, give him some leeway - but that does not mean ignore him.0 -
Didn't read the whole thread - and I'm not a guy - but if he absolutely knows you like him and hasn't responded I would suggest be direct - ask him out. What do you have to lose? Maybe he is seeing someone else right now or not interested in a relationship. At that point you can then, maybe become friends, but at least know what your options are and choose to continue focusing your energy on him or place it elsewhere and maybe find a great guy:noway:
I kind of speak from experience because a bunch of my friends always told me I am easy to read and too truthful and should play a little cooler and harder to get. I tried it and laughingly enough the man I am now happily married to is just like me - our first in-person meeting (after we had talked online and over phones) I tried to play cool and say maybe we could go to dinner sometime - he came back with - what's wrong with tonight:bigsmile: After that we talked every night over the phone and spent as much time as we could together on weekends and ended up buying a house six months later. It is so great to be with someone that I can be myself with.
Sorry for the long response - hopefully not too far off topic - just trying to point out that as much as we like/love our friends - our romantic partners are ours - we need to listen more to ourselves and what we want and what will work for us than what works or has worked for our friends. Good Luck:flowerforyou:0 -
That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
No, that's HER and HER fiance's problem. The fact that YOU think he doesn't take care of "his woman" (I have a problem with that statement btw) is not your decision to make. She's made it clear that you and her are just friends. Don't complicate the issue.
To the OP: Sorry for the thread hyjack btw...0 -
He's just not that into you. It hurts.. I know. But if he knows you're into him and he's off and on... then he's off.
You could always talk about it with him. I know it's scary but I believe in being direct!!! Get answers for yourself if you truly feel confused... right out of his own mouth instead of what your head thinks up.0 -
Honestly don't flat out ignore a guy. But don't make it so easy and available. That is definitely when I become uninterested in a girl. If she is too easy it makes it seem like she's desperate.
This is what I agree with. I've been married a while, but if I were back 'on the scene' then this is what I would do and not to prove anything to the guy, but to prove something to myself. Someone who is truly intrigued will at least put in a small effort to show they're willing to chase. If this hurts a guy's self esteem and it scares him off, he's not going to be a guy I'm interested in anyway, so it's better in the long run.0 -
For me if you ignore me I assume that u are not interested and i will not pursue. I am as dense as a box of rocks when it comes to women and flirting so anyone that is interested in me has to be fairly direct. I dont mean like clingy but at least willing to talk to me.0
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That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
Before we were married my husband was away for 7 months, twice. He was also away frequently for shorter periods of time (4-6 weeks usually). In the first three years we were together, he was away more than he was here. Did that mean he didn't care, not at all. He would have preferred to have been with me, but sometimes life doesn't let you have what you want right when you want it. So I don't think him being physically gone is a reason to diss him. Also, as someone else said, if she told you straight out that she's not interested, take her on her word, if she lied or was "playing" that's her problem.0 -
Depends on the guy. If he's an introverted type like me he'll just take your ignoring him as a sign you're not interested.0
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Guys are idiots. I should know Im one. It truly does depend on the guy but us guys want to know. I love when a woman is straight forward. I think a woman that shows that much confidence is hotter then a woman who wants to be chased. I think the older you get your realize that you do not have time to play games.0
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I appreciate your response. I think you are absolutely right. It's none of my business. I'll steer clear of the whole situation as it was my original goal, I just had to be sure if its the right thing to do. Apparently it is in whichever way the situation will play out.That's fiance's problem. He left her for 9 months when he was off on business to Moscow. He didn't help her with the moving and now he's leaving her again for god knows how long. Its fiance's problem he doesn't take care for his woman.If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
No, that's HER and HER fiance's problem. The fact that YOU think he doesn't take care of "his woman" (I have a problem with that statement btw) is not your decision to make. She's made it clear that you and her are just friends. Don't complicate the issue.
To the OP: Sorry for the thread hyjack btw...0 -
I told my husband on our first well date/day together that he would marry me one day.0
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I cant seem to talk to girls that I'm really interested in yet I am very outgoing and flirt with girls I dont want to date lol0
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Some guys are clueless when someone who actually likes them tries to hint it. It depends on the guy. If he has NO IDEA, then you should at least let him know.
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Some guys? I'd say all guys (including myself) can be clueless. I think direct is the way to go. Game playing leads to so much confusion, misunderstanding, and hurt.
What he said, if someone plays games with me I play them right back 10x worse and we don't even end up going out. I hate the idea that someone would ignore me just to play with my head, why would you do that if you liked me?! Yeah play hard to get and say you're busy but don't totally ignore me or something?!0 -
Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
My opinion, move on to someone else. You confessed. She said 'thanks, but no thanks." Time to move on.0 -
If you were engaged to a woman and she was texting and hanging out with some other guy , how would it make you feel?
I've been married over a decade and my wife and I both text and hang out with members of the opposite sex regularly (and with fidelity). I would think the only people that type of thing would bother are those whose relationships aren't very solid or trusting in the first place.0 -
Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
It would be best to let it go man. You have told her how you feel, the ball is in her court! If you want her to still be in your life even though she doesn't want to be with you that's fine, but don't create a problem by pushing up on her all the time. That will do nothing but drive her a way and/or cause her fiance to have issues with you.
SR0 -
Don't try to manipulate him.
This. You're an adult. Handle it like one. :flowerforyou:0 -
Don't play games. Be direct and if he likes you, he likes you.0
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Sorry....I'm not a guy. But I am a woman...and if a woman has an opinion, do we keep out mouths shut? Lol Not often.
Anyway.....men don't take subtle cues or clues. Ignoring will tell him "ok...she's. It interested. On to the next prospect." you have to let a guy know or they just don't get it. Well....most anyway.0 -
Thanks
Very good point!Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
It would be best to let it go man. You have told her how you feel, the ball is in her court! If you want her to still be in your life even though she doesn't want to be with you that's fine, but don't create a problem by pushing up on her all the time. That will do nothing but drive her a way and/or cause her fiance to have issues with you.
SR0 -
Everyone's different, of course, but I'd say it depends on age and maturity level. Directness without neediness is generally appreciated in adulthood.
^^this. I'm looking for a man, not a boy, so I'm going to act like an adult and treat him like an adult.
It comes down to what you want/how you want to be treated. Do you like the game playing? Are you looking for it to continue? Then by all means play the game. If you don't like the game playing then refuse to do it. I'm a firm believer in treating others the way you want to be treated. The way they respond to your actions will help you determine if they're really worth your time and effort.0 -
Just tell him you like him, and even ask him out. It is such a turn on to have a girl being direct in that way. Playing games can end up with both parties losing out. Games are great in the playground, but not as you get older. For a lot of us there are so many "teasers" out there that love to flirt, love the attention, but thats all. I ignore them now. I know that if a girl really likes me, it will be obvious.0
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To the op....
I admit I skipped a few pages. If you like him and he knows it, and im assuming he likes you back, why don't YOU just make a move? Guys hate rejection (and rightly so. We women are tough to deal with), so he might be worried you would respond with the old " I like you as a friend" comment. Games belong on boards or in grade school, NOT relationships.
Of course, I could be completely wrong. I married the only guy to ever show interest in me...:ohwell:0 -
So need some guy advice. A lot of my friends are telling me to ignore the guy I like to give him the option to "chase" me. Is this good advice or as ridiculous as it sounds. lol. If I ignore him, will he not lose interest?
Ridiculous. Relationships work best when there is a good flow to them. Immature games inhibit that flow. Be real with one another. 0 -
Say what you mean, Mean what you say! I don't like games in relationships, its not a good start. Good Luck!0
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Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
Move on, and have more respect for boundaries when someone is already in a committed relationship. Just think about if she had been your fiance'. Would you want another guy treating her and interacting with her the way that you were? Not to mention, if she has been making you feel that she's interested while she is committed to someone else, how will you be able to trust that she won't behave the same with you?0 -
Well put i thought the same thing. And not to mention what kind of character do you have that you have no respect for people and their relationships. If a female is doing that while in a relationship tell her to make her house right before building a new one. Not cool on both ends. she lead you on and panicked when you told her how you felt. Next time stick with free available women and stay away from this female.Interesting topic, just in time for my situation. So this girl is giving me every bit of a hint that she likes me by giving me compliments on helping her with projects, calls me dear, sweety, and all those beautiful things. I say it right back and appreciate it all. She already has a fiance, but doesn't wear her ring and doesn't know if she should marry him or not. We practically became good, if not best friends over 9 months and I didn't give her any ideas about getting together before yesterday. We text each other, meet up once a week to talk and stuff, but not something you would call a date.
So, I confessed to her that I like her and want to hang out more, and she right there (by TXT) told me that she appreciates everything I've done for her, but we're nothing more than friends. Now she has been extremely nice to me, as I have been to her, I knew about her situation with fiance and suggested what she could do if she doesn't love him enough to marry.
Does she like me and should i chase after her or give it up and be best pals? Or move on to someone else?
Move on, and have more respect for boundaries when someone is already in a committed relationship. Just think about if she had been your fiance'. Would you want another guy treating her and interacting with her the way that you were? Not to mention, if she has been making you feel that she's interested while she is committed to someone else, how will you be able to trust that she won't behave the same with you?0 -
People always want what they think they can't have. It's human nature. I wouldn't suggest ignoring him but playing hard to get certainly will keep the chase on. If he's really into you.
This makes the most sense to me and I have talked tomany men who feel the same way... and you know what, I too like a chase.. I'm not goign to lie.. it works both ways, if a guy comes on too strong then I am usually turned off but if I have to work at it a littl it drives me wild... and keeps me thinking about him, even if I am super annoyed that he hasn't called 0
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