Am I fat?

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  • Gwenski
    Gwenski Posts: 348 Member
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    I have always thought that the phrase "I am fat / he is fat / they are fat" was one of those bad quirks of the english language that really did overweight people a lot of psychological harm.

    No one IS fat.. It implies that the only thing that makes up their entire body is fat.

    The TRUTH is none of us ARE fat... we all HAVE fat.. some more than others..
    and the other truth is we are ALL 'skinny' in that, we all have skin....just like animals are hairy or furry, get it?

    Think of a steak.. some are lean, and some have more fat.. perhaps marbled though, and perhaps just around the edge. Both are appealing to some, not appealing to others... but both have quality and value.

    ok off my language soap-box for today!
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    All of the people that post about "skinny" people saying they are "fat" makes them crazy, should really read this post.....It helps clear up a lot of misconceptions. Everybody is always more harsh on themselves and people need to think before they speak.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
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    Eating disorders are extremely complicated and hard to explain. In High School I was an active anorexic and at 70 pounds could have sworn I was still obese. After inpatient treatment for that I ended up bulimic in college. Treatment for that. As someone who's been through the system twice and lived with EDs as long as I can remember, no, there is no judgement passed on someone's size. Eating Disorders in general have nothing to do with food to begin with..it's just an outlet. EDs are extremely selfish diseases, and the only person whose size matters, is your own. I thought my friends were thin and I was obese and I looked like a walking skeleton. Eating Disordered people don't tend to pass judgement on others, they know logically what they see is wrong, but it's a very hard thing to overcome. All just a state of mind..


    Yes. To all of this.

    To the poster who wrote this: It was something i always felt guilty about...like i felt i should make her feel better...but until they "heal" themselves from the inside out...nothing is ever fixed.

    Don't feel guilty. It isn't your job to make someone with an eating disorder feel better, no matter how close they are to you. You can't help until that person wants help. My friends and family all wanted desperately to fix me - they wanted to feed me and make me healthy; I saw them as sabotaging my diet and wanting me to get fat. The skewed perception is an integral part of an Eating Disorder and it's a really, really hard demon to fight off.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    I have always thought that the phrase "I am fat / he is fat / they are fat" was one of those bad quirks of the english language that really did overweight people a lot of psychological harm.

    No one IS fat.. It implies that the only thing that makes up their entire body is fat.

    The TRUTH is none of us ARE fat... we all HAVE fat.. some more than others..
    and the other truth is we are ALL 'skinny' in that, we all have skin....just like animals are hairy or furry, get it?

    Think of a steak.. some are lean, and some have more fat.. perhaps marbled though, and perhaps just around the edge. Both are appealing to some, not appealing to others... but both have quality and value.

    ok off my language soap-box for today!

    Semantics. We're all here because we're fat.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    In answer to the actual question, in high school I was about 150lbs in the ninth grade. By my junior year I was at 195lbs. At the age of 16 I was diagnosed with PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome), which was contributing to my weight gain. The doctor gave me a low dose prescription for a dietary medication. From December to April, I lost about 50lbs. However, even at a very fit 145lbs (I was wearing a size 8-10), I still had trouble seeing myself as thin. I was always comparing myself to the other girls at school. That was before I realized that there was more to body size differences than just differences in appearance. Height, bone structure, and shape come into play as well. I was not built to be a model, I was built to be an athlete. That means that I will never be a size 2, and I'm fine with that now. I know that I look my best at a size 8, which, for me, is about 140-145lbs. The truth is that no two bodies are exactly alike. There are similarties in height and shape, of course, but there are always differences that determine what each person's healthiest weight should be. That's why I DETEST the BMI chart, and I wish health and fitness professionals would quit using them, and go by caliper measurements instead. According to the BMI chart, my "normal" weight range is 110-140lbs. However, I know that, if I weigh less than 135lbs, I'm going to start looking like a walking skeleton. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE!!!! You will NEVER look like someone else, so stop trying. Instead, strive to be the healthiest YOU you can be.
  • beebabe
    beebabe Posts: 67
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    Got this from Facebook :tongue:

    I am larger (always has been) than the "National Average"

    2wf01l4.jpg

    I am between the 1st two girls in size but I dont even look as good as the 3rd girl! fml
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    When I was 5'7" and 135 lbs, not only did I think I was "big," there was no shortage of people to call me fat, or tell me I should lose weight. My mother, my brother, some guys at school. A friend said I was "husky." (I was actually athletic with a completely flat stomach and athletic build).

    So, my original perception was all wrong. I finally became obese (I dislike that word, but it's the category I'm still in).

    I'm working to get back to that 135 where I didn't know I looked great and was perfectly normal. In a way, it's helpful that I'm losing weight a bit on the slow side, because I don't know how I'd deal with a new body overnight.

    In a strange twist, my brother has three girls, and I would say one is definitely overweight, not athletic at all. This is a man who used to say if he married a woman and she got fat, he'd divorce her.

    (He's grown up since then!)
  • vzucco
    vzucco Posts: 229
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    Got this from Facebook :tongue:

    I am larger (always has been) than the "National Average"

    2wf01l4.jpg

    If I was this hot in a size 16 I would never have tried to lose weight! Ditto for the 12... And I am a size 8 right now and I do not look like that model either, I still have plenty of fluff to hold on to.

    Seriously though, for me body dysmorphia has always been centered around my perception of my own body, not other people's. So I could look in the mirror and be devastated but look at someone who is exactly my size and proportions and think they look great. In college my roommate was very thin, almost too thin (fast metabolism), and I always thought she had "the perfect body." One day she asked me if she could borrow a pair of my pants and I laughed in her face. I told her they wouldn't even stay up! She tried them on anyway and they fit her perfectly. This is just one example of many.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    I have always thought that the phrase "I am fat / he is fat / they are fat" was one of those bad quirks of the english language that really did overweight people a lot of psychological harm.

    No one IS fat.. It implies that the only thing that makes up their entire body is fat.

    The TRUTH is none of us ARE fat... we all HAVE fat.. some more than others..
    and the other truth is we are ALL 'skinny' in that, we all have skin....just like animals are hairy or furry, get it?

    Think of a steak.. some are lean, and some have more fat.. perhaps marbled though, and perhaps just around the edge. Both are appealing to some, not appealing to others... but both have quality and value.

    ok off my language soap-box for today!

    Semantics. We're all here because we're fat.

    Actually, no. Some of us, like me, are here to maintain our healthy weight now :flowerforyou: Some people are even here to gain weight or achieve other fitness/health goals. Please don't make blanket assumptions.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    Got this from Facebook :tongue:

    I am larger (always has been) than the "National Average"

    2wf01l4.jpg

    This can't be right. My wife is like a size 2 and is closer to the middle one. When we first started dating, she was a size 8 and looked like the one listed as size 16. I also knew a girl in college who was a 16, and she was easily double the size of the size 16.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    It ties in with body dysmorphic disorder. You are able to look at other people and see them the way they really are, but when you stand in front of the mirror, you cannot pick out a single thing you like and then certain places seem magnified. You will see skin that you can pinch and in your mind it is a 60 lb fat roll. It is a control issue. You feel like you are fat, so you can choose to not eat. You can control that, even when you cannot control another thing in your life, you got that. You are actually a little more forgiving of other people's flaws. It is just yourself that you see so unrealistically
  • RenaPink11
    RenaPink11 Posts: 343 Member
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    Glad this thread was started, really puts things in perspective from the other person's view. I have a friend that is tiny... under 100lbs and she struggles to put weight on. She's under 5ft or right at it, but her frame is small, her daughter is the same way and I remember her arguing with doctors that she wasn't starving herself or her kid. She had kind of the opposite than most eating disorders, she would eat and push herself to eat more to gain weight and end up getting sick from eating too much.
  • colehook
    colehook Posts: 46
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    I am able to look at other people and see them the way they are...but when it comes to looking in the mirror all I see are rolls and dimples. I am trying to be more focused on not being this way. *Really tough week* I have felt fat all my life, never happy with the way I am. It drives my husband insane because I won't let him touch me or even get close. He tells me I'm selfish and can't understand why I can just reroute my brain. It doesn't work no matter how hard I try. I go days with taking pills just so I won't eat hoping that extra pound will come off. I know it's not healthy but when I get this way I would rather die than not be thin. I have never been skinny. The lowest I've ever gotten was 144lbs, currently 156. ERRRR I really want to be a size 2 and my husband tells me that if I get that thin he will go find someone else. WTF...that is what men want. Why else would they be admiring the Victoria's Secret models?

    (Thanks for letting me vent)
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
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    Got this from Facebook :tongue:

    I am larger (always has been) than the "National Average"

    2wf01l4.jpg

    I never think these are accurate, If every women carried their weight like the size 16 women, I doubt they would be so concerned about losing weight. Also the middle women doesn't look like a size 12 to me at all. She looks smaller then that
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Got this from Facebook :tongue:

    I am larger (always has been) than the "National Average"

    2wf01l4.jpg

    I am between the 1st two girls in size but I dont even look as good as the 3rd girl! fml

    Those are UK sizes, not American.
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    Those are UK sizes, not American.

    I live in the US. Pretty sure those are American sizes.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Oh and I still feel fat about half the time. I don't think I have ever not felt fat really, because there have always been people thinner than me. I have been 110 lbs and 160 lbs and there wasn't an appreciable difference in how I felt about my body between the two. I am currently 120 and most of the time can't find clothes small enough to fit me, and still only see the wobble when I look in the mirror.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Those are UK sizes, not American.

    I live in the US. Pretty sure those are American sizes.

    No way is that middle girl a US 12 unless she is 6 ft tall. She looks smaller than I did at a UK 12, which is a US 8. A US 12 is a UK 16, which is well into plus size.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
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    I wish I hadn't gone down that road. I was a robot, totally on auto pilot. I cared about nothing. I couldn't cry... I hated it. I'd rather be an emotional wreck who cries at every baby commercial (yes, I do. I know, I know) than a cold hearted machine. That's how I felt on those. I quit cold turkey, and I keep my last bottle (still with pills in it) to remind myself what I came through. I didn't run out of them and just not get more. I just... stopped. It was a great decision. They may work wonders for others, but they are not for me anymore.

    As a mental health professional it sounds like your psychiatrist did you a huge disservice by not getting you on a medication that was beneficial for you. Too many believe in the "one size fits all" approach to medicine (sometimes translated kickbacks from the pharmecutical company to prescribe their meds). That is really sad that noone listened to what you were going through and tried to find the right treatment for you.

    Not everyone needs meds long term but some do and it's great that you don't. I didn't either.....but mine worked. My anti-depressant stabilized my moods and helped my brain chemicals work the way they are supposed to and if I ever needed them again I would use them. It really sounds like you were on the wrong meds. But congrats for making the best decision for you!!!
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
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    I dont see others as fat, but if someone looses or gains a little weight I am not the person who usually notices. I really get bothered by people who judge people because of their looks though. Most of my friends are on the heavier side I guess you could say and i love them just the same. But I see myself the same when I weighed 200lbs or 87 lbs. I think because I am 5 10 I feel like a giant(used to be 6 ft..osteoporosis). But no I dont see others that way. And to me they all look ok in the pics, but we know my mind is warped

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