$248.00 SAYS YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN IT

AJCM

LOVE IT DAVE!!!!

There was a study done of people who had been obese, lost the weight, and kept it off for 2 years or more (I heard about it on Oprah, or was it Days of our Lives )

... Anyway, in all seriousness, the ONE factor that was common to all of them was that when they slipped up, they started a fresh THAT VERY SECOND! The study found that if you wait until "tomorrow" or "Monday" you are likely to be obese the rest of your life. Interesting I thought....

When I was losing weight on here, if I over ate my cals at lunch, or in the afternoon, I basically had water and celery for dinner. I figured, I made a committment, and have to stick to it.

One does need a change in mindset. I can now eat a Cream Egg, or dessert, and it's not a "slip up" but a part of just living a normal life, and successfully maintaing weight loss.
:flowerforyou:

awestfall

I feel that you will be angry for a long time, if you want everyone to change to your way... this isn't the first time that I've seen you complain about this very topic, and I've only been here for just over a month. People will always say "tomorrow". Will you always be annoyed by it? Or can you find peace in simply giving your opinion and allowing others to give theirs?

I agree completely. I agreed with Dave the first time I saw him post on this subject, but now I just wonder why he continues to read those threads and get bothered by them.

I just steer clear of those threads because I know that I am not the right person to offer support. My theory is like Dave's: if you eat something horrible, go out and work it off...the day isn't 'ruined' until it's over. BUT, these people also have the right to reach-out for support and ask for advice. Some people really do need others to point them in the right direction, or give em a kick in the rear-end.

To Dave directly: I encourage you to take your own advice "encourage the wayward eater by telling them to quit whining and start doing..." if you see these 'oh woe is me' posts, please motivate them to get up, get moving. Don't just get angry and talk about how lazy they are...maybe they are just waiting for somebody to tell them to go on a walk. Not everybody can be self-motivating, especially when we read so many posts about friends/family/coworkers being unsupportive and even cruel when it comes to weight-loss.

What works for one, will not work for another.

Some days I need a swift kick in the pants, on others I shoulder to cry on.

You can find all of that here.

If I cannot be helpful to the person posting the thread, I move onto something that interests me.

This way I do not become the whiner of sorts.

:flowerforyou:

yes...true
but my question,,,whether you are being a shoulder to cry on or not...is why do so many advise waiting till tomottow when today is still available?

that is the only question I asked...we can still be supportive and be a shoulder to cry on...but this whole "tomorrow" thing just does not make any sense

I have to say your right again DAVE!!I never say tomorrow I say "NOW":flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

ivykivy

Amen, Ivy!

I cannot for the life of me understand why people are bothered with what others' post. Especially with the label most of them have you know it is going to be an expression of angst; so why, if you are disgusted by 'whiners,' do you even bother to read?

To me, "tomorrow" is metaphorical. What it means is that this period isn't "forever". I don't generally give advice on those sorts of threads, but, in life in general, when I say, "tomorrow is a new day", it simply means, "this too shall pass." Not necessarily "tomorrow", but in the next year, month, week, day, hour or minute.

I've certainly seen advice such as, "why not go out for a walk". I think you're focusing on something that annoys you personally.

After all, tomorrow *is* a new day. It doesn't mean that someone can't take immediate action, but it doesn't mean that they must, either. It's simply something that people say. I'm more curious why it bothers you so much... you may certainly dispense any advice that you wish, including, "get off your butt and work out, then."

People have lots of different ways of expressing support. You telling everyone that they are providing crap and not being supportive and are, rather, being enabling makes me more wonder what's going on with you. Why are you so angry?

Can you make peace in yourself that other people have a different way of dispensing help? Must everyone give advice in the very same way as you in order for you to be happy? Or can you find it in yourself to realize that there are many paths to an ultimate destination, and that yours may work for some and others' may work for others?

I feel that you will be angry for a long time, if you want everyone to change to your way... this isn't the first time that I've seen you complain about this very topic, and I've only been here for just over a month. People will always say "tomorrow". Will you always be annoyed by it? Or can you find peace in simply giving your opinion and allowing others to give theirs?

completeplan

Interesting topic. At the end everyone has their own 'rules' how they live their lives. Obviously there is some room for 'fixing or changing' the rules if you end up overweight or when any other aspect of life is not satisfying. Funny thing to me is that some people insist having the only 'right ' rules and end up forcing their rules to others as the only right way to live or act. I think we all have a right to live by our own rules no matter how mad it makes someone else or how miserable life we have. Hopefully own experience or 'pain' will drive to change the rules and you end up with your own individual and better set of rules that give you more satisfying life. Rules we make based on pain and pleasure. It is a good idea to be conscious and throw in the mixture some common sense.

Some of MY rules: We are all responsible of our own actions. There are no accidents when it comes to overeating. I need to exercise every day, but it won't kill me to skip a day or two. My goal will slip further away though. Some of my rules are not sensible or good for me and I need to reconsider. Flesh is weak and my spirit needs to be in control of my flesh and not the other way around. I can't just react when I see a DONUTS. I need to be proactive and keep some nuts or gum in my pocket. Self discipline is something I NEED TO PRACTICE and I am much better now. It becomes a habit incredibly fast, to say no.

I try to keep in mind this "Mosquitoes can ruin the hunt for big game"
and
If you are on your way to Detroit from North Carolina and you turn to South Carolina by accident and get lost, you don't just keep going. You keep your goal in mind, you turn around, and find your way to Detroit.

Today I am 8 calories under my goal.:drinker:
Happy eastern to everyone.

arewethereyet

I feel that you will be angry for a long time, if you want everyone to change to your way... this isn't the first time that I've seen you complain about this very topic, and I've only been here for just over a month. People will always say "tomorrow". Will you always be annoyed by it? Or can you find peace in simply giving your opinion and allowing others to give theirs?

I agree completely. I agreed with Dave the first time I saw him post on this subject, but now I just wonder why he continues to read those threads and get bothered by them.

I just steer clear of those threads because I know that I am not the right person to offer support. My theory is like Dave's: if you eat something horrible, go out and work it off...the day isn't 'ruined' until it's over. BUT, these people also have the right to reach-out for support and ask for advice. Some people really do need others to point them in the right direction, or give em a kick in the rear-end.

To Dave directly: I encourage you to take your own advice "encourage the wayward eater by telling them to quit whining and start doing..." if you see these 'oh woe is me' posts, please motivate them to get up, get moving. Don't just get angry and talk about how lazy they are...maybe they are just waiting for somebody to tell them to go on a walk. Not everybody can be self-motivating, especially when we read so many posts about friends/family/coworkers being unsupportive and even cruel when it comes to weight-loss.

What works for one, will not work for another.

Some days I need a swift kick in the pants, on others I shoulder to cry on.

You can find all of that here.

If I cannot be helpful to the person posting the thread, I move onto something that interests me.

This way I do not become the whiner of sorts.

:flowerforyou:

yes...true
but my question,,,whether you are being a shoulder to cry on or not...is why do so many advise waiting till tomottow when today is still available?

that is the only question I asked...we can still be supportive and be a shoulder to cry on...but this whole "tomorrow" thing just does not make any sense

Ok, I gothca. This is very true. This minute is the only time we are promised-so I do it now.

Or after the supreme pan pizza I just ordered from pizza hut:laugh:

AJCM

I think Dave might have been trying to say that certain behaviours become obstacles to our success, and that by changing the way we think, we can change outcomes.

The biggest change in my life, when I finally lost the weight was not in terms of my activity, exercise, or diet, it was a shift in my mindset. Hands down.
:flowerforyou:

Marla64

I feel that you will be angry for a long time, if you want everyone to change to your way... this isn't the first time that I've seen you complain about this very topic, and I've only been here for just over a month. People will always say "tomorrow". Will you always be annoyed by it? Or can you find peace in simply giving your opinion and allowing others to give theirs?

I agree completely. I agreed with Dave the first time I saw him post on this subject, but now I just wonder why he continues to read those threads and get bothered by them.

I just steer clear of those threads because I know that I am not the right person to offer support. My theory is like Dave's: if you eat something horrible, go out and work it off...the day isn't 'ruined' until it's over. BUT, these people also have the right to reach-out for support and ask for advice. Some people really do need others to point them in the right direction, or give em a kick in the rear-end.

To Dave directly: I encourage you to take your own advice "encourage the wayward eater by telling them to quit whining and start doing..." if you see these 'oh woe is me' posts, please motivate them to get up, get moving. Don't just get angry and talk about how lazy they are...maybe they are just waiting for somebody to tell them to go on a walk. Not everybody can be self-motivating, especially when we read so many posts about friends/family/coworkers being unsupportive and even cruel when it comes to weight-loss.

What works for one, will not work for another.

Some days I need a swift kick in the pants, on others I shoulder to cry on.

You can find all of that here.

If I cannot be helpful to the person posting the thread, I move onto something that interests me.

This way I do not become the whiner of sorts.

:flowerforyou:

yes...true
but my question,,,whether you are being a shoulder to cry on or not...is why do so many advise waiting till tomottow when today is still available?

that is the only question I asked...we can still be supportive and be a shoulder to cry on...but this whole "tomorrow" thing just does not make any sense

Ok, I gothca. This is very true. This minute is the only time we are promised-so I do it now.

Or after the supreme pan pizza I just ordered from pizza hut:laugh:

All right, that works-- as long as it isn't tomorrow--

arewethereyet

LOVE IT DAVE!!!!

There was a study done of people who had been obese, lost the weight, and kept it off for 2 years or more (I heard about it on Oprah, or was it Days of our Lives )

... Anyway, in all seriousness, the ONE factor that was common to all of them was that when they slipped up, they started a fresh THAT VERY SECOND! The study found that if you wait until "tomorrow" or "Monday" you are likely to be obese the rest of your life. Interesting I thought....

When I was losing weight on here, if I over ate my cals at lunch, or in the afternoon, I basically had water and celery for dinner. I figured, I made a committment, and have to stick to it.

One does need a change in mindset. I can now eat a Cream Egg, or dessert, and it's not a "slip up" but a part of just living a normal life, and successfully maintaing weight loss.
:flowerforyou:

I used to say I would start on Monday, and then eat all weekend like I would never eat again. The difference this time is it is truly a change of life for me. (I guess that can happen twice:noway: )
If I go overboard, I begin again as soon as I realize it is done. I get my booty on my ellip!

I remember having a thread that I work for butter. I wasnt kidding. When I first started if I logged my food and I had xx cals-I would work out for 30 minutes to have the cals for butter on the bread.

Anyway, good thread. Got us all thinking Dave. :drinker:

Marla64

Well, my two cent investment to earn a $247.98 return is thus--

Many people, women particularly, are LOATHE to say anything that will make somebody "FEEL" bad. Our society simply frowns on it. That's why little Johnny can spell cat K-A-T if he wants, and little Janie can think 2+2=5 as long as her wittle feelings aren't hurt.

People can't speak the truth, even lovingly for fear that somebody may be offended. We can't joke. We can't criticize. We can't counsel. We can't cajole-- we can only say, "Oh, that's okay. I'm okay, you're okay. Try it again tomorrow, better luck next time, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you feel good-- " Here, there, everywhere-- it's our society, Dave, surely you know that.

I learned it very early on in these forums specifically when I ruffled feathers wayyy back when, when someone was whining about people being nicer to her now that she's lost weight-- okay, so what's your beef? They're being nice to you-- what's your problem? The discussion continued, I opined further-- black and white view of world, snap-out-of-it mentality-- oh my-- NOT received well. I also learned that the F word here was a very naughty word-- F-A-T. It was unreal.

So, this is the way it is, here and everywhere.

I sit and giggle as I read your posts knowing that I'm not going there anymore-- people gather around them others who will tell them what their itching ears want to hear. They don't want truth. They want to feel better-- it is what it is.

Now, where's my money?

72lori

Darn you Dave! I didn't have a bad day, didn't count anything. Didn't plan on counting. Ate more than usual though and feeling chubby. Walked a mile this AM, just walked another with my son who informed me I didn't want to know how much chocolate he ate. He's right. Now I'm putting down my laptop and going and hopping on the elliptical! I had a great week and I want to see results at my weigh in....tomorrow!

Dave198lbs

good points BUT

the money is safe and will stay here

actually it was a trick question

nice or not..real world or not.....

there is no valid reason to tell someone to wait till tomorrow when they are sitting at their computer in the middle of the afternoon

I have received some good and bad PM's over this and as I told one...it is up to you...do something about it or log on and get the sure and steady refrain of dont worry...do it tomorrow....

we are all adults here ( some of us even act like it occasionally) and all pleas will be answered in the manner that seems acceptable...which overwhelmngly is to not worry,,,get back on the horse tomorrow

my approach I think came from my Dad...dont tell me you broke the window,,,tell me how you are going to pay to have it fixed

should I be more tolerant of the people who want to be told to wait till tomorrow? If you were my sister I would tell you to take the excuses down the road...tell me what you are going to do about it...dont tell me how bad you feel as you hit send and wait for the love

peace ymMFP friends and foes
its all good

BxMom

Well said, BRAVO :flowerforyou:

Marla64

good points BUT

the money is safe and will stay here

actually it was a trick question

nice or not..real world or not.....

there is no valid reason to tell someone to wait till tomorrow when they are sitting at their computer in the middle of the afternoon

I have received some good and bad PM's over this and as I told one...it is up to you...do something about it or log on and get the sure and steady refrain of dont worry...do it tomorrow....

we are all adults here ( some of us even act like it occasionally) and all pleas will be answered in the manner that seems acceptable...which overwhelmngly is to not worry,,,get back on the horse tomorrow

my approach I think came from my Dad...dont tell me you broke the window,,,tell me how you are going to pay to have it fixed

should I be more tolerant of the people who want to be told to wait till tomorrow? If you were my sister I would tell you to take the excuses down the road...tell me what you are going to do about it...dont tell me how bad you feel as you hit send and wait for the love

peace ymMFP friends and foes
its all good

Now, see-- you're a schiester-- (spelling)

You didn't say it had to be valid-- you said explain it. I did-- no fair. You're a crook.

And I really hate the PM crap that goes on here-- if I have a problem with your post, I'll state my beef here, I won't hide behind my PM to tell you what a crook you are.

sbennett23

I completely agree with this. I allowed myself to have foods that I don't usually have today BUT I worked in activities. My family and I went fishing for about 2 hours and that included walks up and down steep hills to get to the fishing hole!!! I had fun, ate what I wanted and there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty. I love it!!!!

flcaoh

I used to get all offended and defensive when I read Dave's advice. Eventually it donned on me. He's 100% right. If you feel bad that you ate that giant chocolate bunny and went 700 calories over your daily allowed amount... then instead of logging about it...shut up, log off, back away from the keyboard and go do some jumping jacks or something.

Only after I fully came to accept and embrace the idea of kicking the excuses out of my head did I start to successfully lose weight. I hate logging. But it's what I have to do to lose weight. So, no more complaining here

HealthierMamasita

Everyone is going to take any kind of advice differently so.. it is what it is.

I am 521 cals over today.. so friggin what?!

I am not going to step away from the keyboard to do jumping jacks or jog in place because I have been in the kitchen for most of the day preparing dinner for my family and doing all sorts of things with my girls and I am tired as heck.

I enjoyed my dinner with my family.
For once in a very long time, I was able to not think about cals, fats, sodium, carbs.. yadda yadda yadda.

So people.. do what works for YOU.

That is all.

:flowerforyou:

Nich0le

Everyone is going to take any kind of advice differently so.. it is what it is.

I am 521 cals over today.. so friggin what?!

I am not going to step away from the keyboard to do jumping jacks or jog in place because I have been in the kitchen for most of the day preparing dinner for my family and doing all sorts of things with my girls and I am tired as heck.

I enjoyed my dinner with my family.
For once in a very long time, I was able to not think about cals, fats, sodium, carbs.. yadda yadda yadda.

So people.. do what works for YOU.

That is all.

:flowerforyou:

That's kind of the point. If you went over and you know and you are ok with it then so be it. For those that are going over and feel bad about it and want someone to tell them it's ok and no biggie and bless your heart you poor thing can't control yourself they need to get a grip and if they truly feel guilty and "bad" they need to quit whining and do something to fix it, because messaging about it isn't going to fix whats making them feel bad.

And you must have thought about it because you seem to know how many cals you went over but you probably have already thought about what you are going to do for the rest of the day or this week instead of whining about it :happy:

HealthierMamasita

Everyone is going to take any kind of advice differently so.. it is what it is.

I am 521 cals over today.. so friggin what?!

I am not going to step away from the keyboard to do jumping jacks or jog in place because I have been in the kitchen for most of the day preparing dinner for my family and doing all sorts of things with my girls and I am tired as heck.

I enjoyed my dinner with my family.
For once in a very long time, I was able to not think about cals, fats, sodium, carbs.. yadda yadda yadda.

So people.. do what works for YOU.

That is all.

:flowerforyou:

That's kind of the point. If you went over and you know and you are ok with it then so be it. For those that are going over and feel bad about it and want someone to tell them it's ok and no biggie and bless your heart you poor thing can't control yourself they need to get a grip and if they truly feel guilty and "bad" they need to quit whining and do something to fix it, because messaging about it isn't going to fix whats making them feel bad.

And you must have thought about it because you seem to know how many cals you went over but you probably have already thought about what you are going to do for the rest of the day or this week instead of whining about it :happy:

Nope.. didn't think about it.
I always log my foods even though I don't eat the right things.
When I eat badly, it's on me and I don't whine.. I might point it out but I don't whine...what's the point in whining if you knew you should not have eaten that extra helping?



:flowerforyou:

Iceprincessk25

I just think certain people need reminders that yeah, you messed up today but don't let it totally throw you off the wagon.

Sapporo

First-

noithing wrong with indulging in occasional junk food so dont give me the deprivation angle. This isnt about that.

nothing wrong with the occasional slip or fall off the wagon...we are human...this isnt about that.

In every thread of woe is me and please tell me its OK ...most if not all responses will be-

TOMORROW....fix it tomorrow....start again TOMORROW...

if it is 2 in the afternoon..or 4 in the afternoon when you start yourt whine...WHY WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW?

why tell people to start again tomorrow?

but we are here for support Dave,,,,we need encouragement Dave....OH CRAP and MORE CRAP...enabling is what you are doing by cosigning this tomorrow crap

encourage the wayward eater by telling them to quit whining and start doing...

if you have 8 hours or 6 or even 1 before bed time...get your butt off the couch and burn some calories instead of logging on here and asking for people to tell you to start again tomorrow.

can you explain why you tell people to wait until tomorrow?

The whole tomorrow is a new day thing doesn't tell someone to go ahead and eat like crap the rest of today because you already blew it. Start again tomorrow means in the morning start it right with your exercise or a healthy breakfast, whatever it is you wake up to.
I don't hear that it means not to exercise today or keep pigging out today. With the hope of tomorrow to start fresh you are really starting to fix it now by taking that hope, putting down the fork, taking a big drink of water and getting on that exercise machine or at least just eating healthy foods for the rest of the day.
Who really whines, gets told to wait until tomorrow, then goes and eats another 2000 calories? I bet nobody. After hearing reassurance whether it be about getting it right the next day or get off your *kitten* now you lazy whiner, it is the reassurance that really matters and does take effect right away.
That people have a place to rant, whine, ask questions, and get support is what the MFP message boards are for.
I've never told anyone to wait until tomorrow but seeing the posts where it happens (which never actually say HEY wait until tomorrow, might as well go finish off that Easter basket! and sit on your *kitten* all night now! but rather say tomorrow is a new day) I can say that you've blown it way out of proportion.