$248.00 SAYS YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN IT

cloverluv

I personally don't really get depressed about so called bad days. You're right though. They are only bad days unless you fix them before the day is over. We are all accountable for our actions.

Gotta say...I enjoyed reading all of your posts on this matter.

Crys

staceyw37

[I used to say I would start on Monday, and then eat all weekend like I would never eat again. The difference this time is it is truly a change of life for me. (I guess that can happen twice:noway: )
If I go overboard, I begin again as soon as I realize it is done. I get my booty on my ellip!

that was so me--just eat this last cookie, this last friday night, etc. now, even after several days of passover goodies + crazy yummy brunch this am--my attitude is so different. i looked at it all as a special occasion, as dave once said, planned for it to some extent w/extra workouts, took pics and other reality checks to keep me moving forward.
i considered eating a bunch of sugar cereal tonight--b/c i had already eaten this other junk and it would taste good, but then I thought to myself that i didn't want even more cals to have to work off. and so water and i are buddies.
anyway, it's thru being on this site, using this site, seeing a variety of points of view that i have found the inner strength to make that one decision tonight. and like jeannie--sometimes i need the pity love and sometimes the get your rear in gear attitude. so i pick the threads that are most useful to me at a given time.
so thanks all for giving me more to think about as this weekend comes to a close for me. g'night :flowerforyou:

stillkristi

Dang, has Marla already gotten the $248? I am looking for some of that action!

So, Dave, here is my only concern with what you said - everyone is doing their own journey. I kind of agree with hmmmm... drat, forgot who said this, but the gist was why do you worry your pretty little head about those threads? I agree that someone who is spreading misinformation ought to be GENTLY redirected (remember the colonic guy?) But some people just need to get that self loathing out, and this is the place they to do it. For some, their food addiction is part of a larger problem. For those folks, your words might be a bit harsh, because they are pretty fragile.



Don't judge 'em, just keep rowing the boat. And, I am willing to share the $248 with Marla, but I think I should get more than half, because I provided a visual aid! :bigsmile:

Dave198lbs

Dang, has Marla already gotten the $248? I am looking for some of that action!

So, Dave, here is my only concern with what you said - everyone is doing their own journey. I kind of agree with hmmmm... drat, forgot who said this, but the gist was why do you worry your pretty little head about those threads? I agree that someone who is spreading misinformation ought to be GENTLY redirected (remember the colonic guy?) But some people just need to get that self loathing out, and this is the place they to do it. For some, their food addiction is part of a larger problem. For those folks, your words might be a bit harsh, because they are pretty fragile.



Don't judge 'em, just keep rowing the boat. And, I am willing to share the $248 with Marla, but I think I should get more than half, because I provided a visual aid! :bigsmile:

Sorry...you cant have any money cause you didnt answer the question-
this was not supposed to be about gentle direction or support or any of that,,,the question was simple and has not been answered....why tell someone to wait till tomorrow? this has been taken out of context and twisted for the sake of wanting to hold someone's hand...all I wanted to know is why do so many tell people to start again tomorrow when today is still available.

Have a great day

msarro

Every single day...without fail,,,someone will sit down at their computer..log on...and write a paragraph or 2 or more about how they are mad at themselves or disgusted with themsleves or some other rant about how they slipped or fell off the wagon or were tempted by the chocolate Easter Bunny.

Today there were at least four such threads and it is fairly early. holidays are tough...yes...but this isnt about that.

First-

noithing wrong with indulging in occasional junk food so dont give me the deprivation angle. This isnt about that.

nothing wrong with the occasional slip or fall off the wagon...we are human...this isnt about that.

In every thread of woe is me and please tell me its OK ...most if not all responses will be-

TOMORROW....fix it tomorrow....start again TOMORROW...

if it is 2 in the afternoon..or 4 in the afternoon when you start yourt whine...WHY WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW?

why tell people to start again tomorrow?

but we are here for support Dave,,,,we need encouragement Dave....OH CRAP and MORE CRAP...enabling is what you are doing by cosigning this tomorrow crap

encourage the wayward eater by telling them to quit whining and start doing...

if you have 8 hours or 6 or even 1 before bed time...get your butt off the couch and burn some calories instead of logging on here and asking for people to tell you to start again tomorrow.

can you explain why you tell people to wait until tomorrow?

Because I don't respond to those posts til 11:59pm

AmyLou9903

If what you really want to know is why people say "wait until tomorrow" and you don't care about the actual helpfulness factor of why people say it, just the reasoning behind the phrase, here's what I think is the answer, in 2 parts:

1

---

I, personally, don't look at the TIME people are posting. People post from all over the world/country here, have different schedules, etc (so 3 p.m. may be mid-day for you but bedtime for someone who works overnight or lives in a different time zone, or time to head into work for 8 hours or even time to get in the car and drive home for 3 hours). I don't think people consider the time when they post "tomorrow is another day." I certainly pay no attention to it. In fact, I just realized you write this YESTERDAY not even TODAY. . . KWIM? It's awesome that you want to help people and take the time to look at every single aspect of their post, but many of us probably don't analyze it to that extent. I assume if people are writing about how awful they ate that day, it's the end of their "day" or at least the end of their binge (otherwise, why post now, why not wait until later, when you feel worse??).


2

---

Also, "tomorrow is another day" has become one of those phrases like "a few days ago" that means different things for different people. I've been known to reference things "a few days ago" that actually happened months ago! As other explained, tomorrow may be literal (like you're reading it) or figurative, meaning "future."

What's done is done. You can't change the past, period. So look to the future ("tomorrow") and get back on track. Whatever "tomorrow" means for you--the next minute, hour, 2 hours or the next morning (literally tomorrow). People say tomorrow because no matter how well you eat the rest of the day or how much you exercise later on, you ALL READY made the choice to eat poorly earlier.

______________________

Like others, I do think you have good kick-in-the butt style advice, but that doesn't work for everyone. Obviously, people who post and don't like what you say should realize they are on a public forum and they're going to get views from all different points, and if they don't like it, that's their problem. Just like, on a public forum, *you* don't have to read, let alone, respond to any of these posts.

From a personal perspective----Personally, I am MORE likely to go eat 10 more chocolate eggs if someone makes me feel worse about myself by yelling at me (emotional eater) then if people tell me "hey, it happens, move on." Then I will say "You know what? Life isn't ruined cuz I ate 200 extra calories earlier." Sometimes I need to hear someone else tell me my life isn't ruined and that I don't have to make 200 become 2,000. I got some great advice in a recent thread about my issues with portion control and overeating--wonderful strategies as far as portioning out foods, finding alternatives, etc--people stepping in and telling me "Just DO IT, just stop eating, why don't you get it; I do and so should you; I did it, so if you can't yet, you're not worthy of my help or support" wouldn't have really helped me out. I needed some actual real ideas that worked--not a lecture. I get it--I think we all do--it's just putting into practice that some people need more help with. And part of the practice is learning how to deal with a snack, meal or even day, that was laden with calories and fat.

If you have trouble giving constructive criticism to the "whiny" posts, then ignore them. Frankly, I've noticed you have recently posted similar thoughts to this one around the boards --which can also be taken as "whining about the whiners." Not exactly helpful, and a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, ya know?

You've done great things with your body and obviously know your stuff, so please continue to post your advice and thoughts. We all can use knowledgeable people here! However, maybe you need to step back a bit--help the people who thrive under your type of advice, great. What works for one may not work for another.

Dave198lbs

noone is talking about yelling at anybody

I look at the time zone of the poster

my words seem to be getting added to and twisted

have a great day

Shannon023

noone is talking about yelling at anybody

I look at the time zone of the poster

my words seem to be getting added to and twisted

have a great day

I can't explain it. Please send me the money! :bigsmile:

Dave198lbs

noone is talking about yelling at anybody

I look at the time zone of the poster

my words seem to be getting added to and twisted

have a great day

I can't explain it. Please send me the money! :bigsmile:

I'll meet you on the usual corner?:laugh:

awestfall

noone is talking about yelling at anybody

I look at the time zone of the poster

my words seem to be getting added to and twisted

have a great day

I can't explain it. Please send me the money! :bigsmile:

I'll meet you on the usual corner?:laugh:

I personally think your post was well put!! keep posting Dave I will read em':flowerforyou:

Phoenix_Rising

Everyone is different in what motivates them. Some people need a rah-rah section to keep moving on and stick with it. Some people need a boot up their keister, which you are gracious to offer, Dave.

Personally, I eat over my calories all the time. It's stress eating. I've been doing it all my life. I'm trying to break the cycle but it's tough. Do I post and whine about it? Eh... not in my own newly created thread. I have a group I'm involved with, and if I need to whine, I go there. I don't create a thread because I am accountable for my own actions, and I know I can start over the next day. (Before you complain about that, I'm a night time binge eater. There is no working out to burn off the 1000-2000 calories at 1am when I work an 8-5 and have a kid asleep in the house. Just saying...)

Now, I have taken similar advice from another MFPer and realize I can start over in the middle of the day, or at least salvage what is left. As she put it, trashing your day and pigging out is like abandoning your car when you have a flat tire. It's not logical.... if you blow a flat, you fix it. Same with your day --- if you eat too much, you fix it or do the best you can to limp through until the next day.

So why do people lament how much they've eaten in the middle of the day? I think it's good old fashioned American laziness and glutton acting up. It's engrained in all of us. The only way to get rid of it is to be accountable to yourself (or a group of others, should you need that support).

Just my humble opinion....

Dave198lbs

noone is talking about yelling at anybody

I look at the time zone of the poster

my words seem to be getting added to and twisted

have a great day

I can't explain it. Please send me the money! :bigsmile:

I'll meet you on the usual corner?:laugh:

I personally think your post was well put!! keep posting Dave I will read em':flowerforyou:

thanks
I appreciate it:flowerforyou:

Marla64

Dang, has Marla already gotten the $248? I am looking for some of that action!

So, Dave, here is my only concern with what you said - everyone is doing their own journey. I kind of agree with hmmmm... drat, forgot who said this, but the gist was why do you worry your pretty little head about those threads? I agree that someone who is spreading misinformation ought to be GENTLY redirected (remember the colonic guy?) But some people just need to get that self loathing out, and this is the place they to do it. For some, their food addiction is part of a larger problem. For those folks, your words might be a bit harsh, because they are pretty fragile.



Don't judge 'em, just keep rowing the boat. And, I am willing to share the $248 with Marla, but I think I should get more than half, because I provided a visual aid! :bigsmile:

Sorry...you cant have any money cause you didnt answer the question-
this was not supposed to be about gentle direction or support or any of that,,,the question was simple and has not been answered....why tell someone to wait till tomorrow? this has been taken out of context and twisted for the sake of wanting to hold someone's hand...all I wanted to know is why do so many tell people to start again tomorrow when today is still available.

Have a great day

He's a crook.

Heather125

I liked your thread but my question is why $248 why not an even $250

Dave198lbs

I liked your thread but my question is why $248 why not an even $250

good point

I had 250 but just in case there was a winner...which there was not,
I wanted enough left over for a big mac:laugh:

kellch

I liked your thread but my question is why $248 why not an even $250

That was my question :bigsmile:

:laugh:

Basically the moral of this story is.......why put off until tomorrow what you can get done today :drinker:

That's my readers digest version anyway. I don't have time to write my usual novel :smokin:

Dave198lbs

I liked your thread but my question is why $248 why not an even $250

That was my question :bigsmile:

:laugh:

Basically the moral of this story is.......why put off until tomorrow what you can get done today :drinker:

That's my readers digest version anyway. I don't have time to write my usual novel :smokin:

the pefect cliffs note version
thank you and take care of your burned bootyy:laugh:

kellch

I liked your thread but my question is why $248 why not an even $250

That was my question :bigsmile:

:laugh:

Basically the moral of this story is.......why put off until tomorrow what you can get done today :drinker:

That's my readers digest version anyway. I don't have time to write my usual novel :smokin:

the pefect cliffs note version
thank you and take care of your burned bootyy:laugh:

Yes.......I think I need to go rub some lotion on it :smokin: ...it hurts :sad: :sad:

:laugh:

Marla64

I liked your thread but my question is why $248 why not an even $250

good point

I had 250 but just in case there was a winner...which there was not,
I wanted enough left over for a big mac:laugh:

He's a snake oil salesman.

SHBoss1673

Dave,

I think it's funny. You are at the same place I was about 8 months ago with MFP. Don't fall into my trap and let it get to you so much that you leave. It took me a long time to learn to pick my battles here. Some people just want people to tell them "It's ok".

I don't believe in it, I'd rather someone reinforce the fact that I screwed up then have people coddle me and make me feel better. The simple fact is, in the long run, the only way to suceed in this is to generate the will power to not MAKE the mistakes in the first place.

As to your question, I'll answer you, and I think this is the one and ONLY correct answer. Validation. People tell others "it's ok, tomorrow you can start over." . It's a cop out, and a validation of bad habits because these people, somewhere deep down inside, aren't confident that they won't do the same thing some day, and if they do, they want the same things said to them. You know it's true, everyone knows it's true, hell, it's the first base instinct that pops into my head when I see one of these threads, then I QUASH it with all available strength.

havingitall

Great Point- I have steered clear of these threads lately for those kind of things.

If people ate healthly for awhile no junk not too much sugar and then had it they wouldn't want it no more because the effects it does on your bod isn't worth it-

My coworkers made me cake for my birthday and were concerned I wouldn't eat it but I told them I would have a piece well let me tell you it gave me the worse headache- My body isn't used to junk food/crap food anymore- I either get headaches or an upset stomach and become very sluggish for 2 days afterwards- So in the end all that crap isn't worth it- If you stay on the ban-wagon and have will power you won't even be tempted because non of those foods are worth feeling like crap.

My co-workers gave me an edible fruit bouquet for my birthday. The whole office ate fruit that day!

Marla64

Dave,

I think it's funny. You are at the same place I was about 8 months ago with MFP. Don't fall into my trap and let it get to you so much that you leave. It took me a long time to learn to pick my battles here. Some people just want people to tell them "It's ok".

I don't believe in it, I'd rather someone reinforce the fact that I screwed up then have people coddle me and make me feel better. The simple fact is, in the long run, the only way to suceed in this is to generate the will power to not MAKE the mistakes in the first place.

As to your question, I'll answer you, and I think this is the one and ONLY correct answer. Validation. People tell others "it's ok, tomorrow you can start over." . It's a cop out, and a validation of bad habits because these people, somewhere deep down inside, aren't confident that they won't do the same thing some day, and if they do, they want the same things said to them. You know it's true, everyone knows it's true, hell, it's the first base instinct that pops into my head when I see one of these threads, then I QUASH it with all available strength.

:grumble: suck up-- :grumble:

SHBoss1673

Dave,

I think it's funny. You are at the same place I was about 8 months ago with MFP. Don't fall into my trap and let it get to you so much that you leave. It took me a long time to learn to pick my battles here. Some people just want people to tell them "It's ok".

I don't believe in it, I'd rather someone reinforce the fact that I screwed up then have people coddle me and make me feel better. The simple fact is, in the long run, the only way to suceed in this is to generate the will power to not MAKE the mistakes in the first place.

As to your question, I'll answer you, and I think this is the one and ONLY correct answer. Validation. People tell others "it's ok, tomorrow you can start over." . It's a cop out, and a validation of bad habits because these people, somewhere deep down inside, aren't confident that they won't do the same thing some day, and if they do, they want the same things said to them. You know it's true, everyone knows it's true, hell, it's the first base instinct that pops into my head when I see one of these threads, then I QUASH it with all available strength.

:grumble: suck up-- :grumble:

You're just jealous you didn't think of it Marla.

Marla64

Dave,

I think it's funny. You are at the same place I was about 8 months ago with MFP. Don't fall into my trap and let it get to you so much that you leave. It took me a long time to learn to pick my battles here. Some people just want people to tell them "It's ok".

I don't believe in it, I'd rather someone reinforce the fact that I screwed up then have people coddle me and make me feel better. The simple fact is, in the long run, the only way to suceed in this is to generate the will power to not MAKE the mistakes in the first place.

As to your question, I'll answer you, and I think this is the one and ONLY correct answer. Validation. People tell others "it's ok, tomorrow you can start over." . It's a cop out, and a validation of bad habits because these people, somewhere deep down inside, aren't confident that they won't do the same thing some day, and if they do, they want the same things said to them. You know it's true, everyone knows it's true, hell, it's the first base instinct that pops into my head when I see one of these threads, then I QUASH it with all available strength.

:grumble: suck up-- :grumble:

You're just jealous you didn't think of it Marla.

:grumble: maybe

Wolfena

There's 4 pages of responses and I haven't read them all.... I'm just answering the initial question.

Why do we tell people to wait until tomorrow? Probably because we are referencing the 24 hours of food/exercise diary-ness. midnight to midnight.... if it's 2pm and the day has been screwed up, I often see responses suggesting the person do extra exercise to help, have a smaller dinner, etc -
The "Tomorrow" refers to having a better day from beginning to end without "problems" to fix in the middle.

Tomorrow starts a new day - you start out fresh, that's all... it's not something that's giving the person an excuse to pig out and be lazy for the remaining hours until midnight. I've NEVER seen advice telling the person to do that!

Oh - and regarding their coming here to post instead of exercising: This site is part of a lot of our weight loss programs - it is a place for support and learning. I don't think taking 5 minutes of their time to share a bad experience is a sign of laziness or lack of commitment, it tells me their mind is on weight loss and keeping on track- otherwise they wouldn't even THINK of coming here!!

Don't chase people away or scare them into feeling guilty of stupid for asking for help and support - that's what this site is here for!!

mrsyac2

Great Point- I have steered clear of these threads lately for those kind of things.

If people ate healthly for awhile no junk not too much sugar and then had it they wouldn't want it no more because the effects it does on your bod isn't worth it-

My coworkers made me cake for my birthday and were concerned I wouldn't eat it but I told them I would have a piece well let me tell you it gave me the worse headache- My body isn't used to junk food/crap food anymore- I either get headaches or an upset stomach and become very sluggish for 2 days afterwards- So in the end all that crap isn't worth it- If you stay on the ban-wagon and have will power you won't even be tempted because non of those foods are worth feeling like crap.

My co-workers gave me an edible fruit bouquet for my birthday. The whole office ate fruit that day!

My friend shipped one to me for my birthday- so I could indulge.

I did have a piece of my birthday cake which tasted good however since I am not used to so much sugar any more I had a massive headache on my birthday and felt so sick it was horrible not to mention the sluggish feeling that lasted for days later. So not worth it

Shannon023

Dave,

I think it's funny. You are at the same place I was about 8 months ago with MFP. Don't fall into my trap and let it get to you so much that you leave. It took me a long time to learn to pick my battles here. Some people just want people to tell them "It's ok".

I don't believe in it, I'd rather someone reinforce the fact that I screwed up then have people coddle me and make me feel better. The simple fact is, in the long run, the only way to suceed in this is to generate the will power to not MAKE the mistakes in the first place.

As to your question, I'll answer you, and I think this is the one and ONLY correct answer. Validation. People tell others "it's ok, tomorrow you can start over." . It's a cop out, and a validation of bad habits because these people, somewhere deep down inside, aren't confident that they won't do the same thing some day, and if they do, they want the same things said to them. You know it's true, everyone knows it's true, hell, it's the first base instinct that pops into my head when I see one of these threads, then I QUASH it with all available strength.

So you're validating Dave's feelings of frustration.

AmyLou9903

Lots of people have weighed in on why they say "tomorrow is another day." Just because you don't like the answers doesn't mean they aren't the actual reasons why people say it, right or wrong. People do many, many things and say many, many things that are beyond logic. If we were all completely logical all the time, none of us would be here in the first place!

I think SHBoss1673 gave some great advice--don't take it personally! Several others have posted that, too. If it bothers you so much, those threads, then just don't read them. Don't coddle them if you do read them if you think that's what others are doing--but then again, don't be surprised if people aren't always thrilled with your response (and same to the people who don't like the response from Dave--don't post it if you don't want viewpoints from all over!).

I do apologize for my comment about "yelling," that was a bit over the top, you were right. My point was that some people just don't take well to tough love and will perceive some messages like that; they are the ones who need support in the form of "tomorrow is another day" (ie, your life is not ruined because of eating lousy one day!). Sometimes I get muddled and a bit defensive when I over-explain myself. Sorry 'bout that!

Again, focus on yourself, maintaining your results (I see you've dropped over 30 pounds in your profile--good for you!) and continue helping people in the best way you know how. If you find yourself getting frustrated, remember that everyone makes their own choices, their own mistakes, and it's not a reflection on you or your own accomplishments.

HealthierMamasita

Dave,

I think it's funny. You are at the same place I was about 8 months ago with MFP. Don't fall into my trap and let it get to you so much that you leave. It took me a long time to learn to pick my battles here. Some people just want people to tell them "It's ok".

I don't believe in it, I'd rather someone reinforce the fact that I screwed up then have people coddle me and make me feel better. The simple fact is, in the long run, the only way to suceed in this is to generate the will power to not MAKE the mistakes in the first place.

As to your question, I'll answer you, and I think this is the one and ONLY correct answer. Validation. People tell others "it's ok, tomorrow you can start over." . It's a cop out, and a validation of bad habits because these people, somewhere deep down inside, aren't confident that they won't do the same thing some day, and if they do, they want the same things said to them. You know it's true, everyone knows it's true, hell, it's the first base instinct that pops into my head when I see one of these threads, then I QUASH it with all available strength.

And I'm glad you're back mista:smooched:

HealthierMamasita

My friend shipped one to me for my birthday- so I could indulge.

I did have a piece of my birthday cake which tasted good however since I am not used to so much sugar any more I had a massive headache on my birthday and felt so sick it was horrible not to mention the sluggish feeling that lasted for days later. So not worth it

I get bloated whenever I eat crap.. like I did yesterday.