Horrible things your parents did to you
MattODriscoll
Posts: 30 Member
No, this isn't a topic about child abuse.
Recently I posted this little story on facebook but wondered if there are any amusing stories from MFPers and their parents:
"All Mom's are evil.
Not content with ruining my boyhood dreams of growing up to become Tarzan: "You'll have to pay TAX on bananas and those tree houses still have mortgages", my Mom also dressed me in T-Shirts with my name on them.
According to the photographic evidence supplied in ye olde family albums, every T-Shirt she bought for me as a child has got my name emblazoned on the front.
Even more evil than that? My name has two Ts in it. Every T-Shirt has my name with one T."
durtydriscoll
(maTThew)
Recently I posted this little story on facebook but wondered if there are any amusing stories from MFPers and their parents:
"All Mom's are evil.
Not content with ruining my boyhood dreams of growing up to become Tarzan: "You'll have to pay TAX on bananas and those tree houses still have mortgages", my Mom also dressed me in T-Shirts with my name on them.
According to the photographic evidence supplied in ye olde family albums, every T-Shirt she bought for me as a child has got my name emblazoned on the front.
Even more evil than that? My name has two Ts in it. Every T-Shirt has my name with one T."
durtydriscoll
(maTThew)
0
Replies
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Well there was this one night my mom got all frisky...0
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She picked me up from school in a clown suit.0
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When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!0
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When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!
Poor flashlights, lol.
Reminds me of a time when I was helping my dad lay concrete slabs in our backgarden.
He disturbed an ants nest but instead of doing something rational he started smashing the ground with a spade, only problem was that my foot was in the way. Nearly chopped my big toe off
Guess he was the pendejo in this instance
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My parents were wonderful, and they did this with every intention of it being a good thing. They didn't want me to be in the advanced learning classes in grammar school because they thought it would "alienate" me from the other kids. Ironically, allllll the popular kids were in the advanced learning class, so I was alienated by NOT being with them.
Actually, I was alienated by my own weird thoughts and behaviors, but things worked out pretty well for me in spite of, or maybe because of, my lack of popularity. :laugh:0 -
Too many to recount, but here's one... we were a large family with a small income so she sewed much of our clothing. Everyone knew the Andrews kids were related - we had matching outfits. But hey, I rocked those red denim bell bottomed hip huggers!0
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We told our kids we were actually aliens who had eaten their parents and we were just waiting for them to get fat enough to eat and then we could go back to our home planet.0
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I had absolutely wonderful parents, who really didn't do anything TOO bad...
But lets see:
They put a clown lamp in my room and wouldn't let me take it out until I was eight...I know it sounds like nothing but it was the creepiest thing ever. At night, when it was on, it's face would glow all creepy. No wonder I had night terrors!
I had a mullet until I was 6 (with permed bangs, and straight everywhere else), and a mushroom cut till I was 12. Not one person thought I was a girl until I hit puberty - to be fair this was my own fault, I hated having someone brush my hair.
Oh, also, when I was little, whenever my mom would put a facemask on (like the old school mud pack things), she would come in my room a cackle like a witch.
It's all really funny now, but back then TERRIFYING!0 -
When I was a kid despite being a huge tomboy I had hair down to my butt. I took a lot of pride in having the longest hair in class..every kid wants to be the best at something! haha. One day my mom decided that I wasn't taking good enough care of my hair (that *kitten* was hard to brush..) so she informed me she'd be cutting it. I protested, but before I could convince her not to, she put the scissors at the base of my head and chopped. I went from having the longest hair in class to the shortest (for a girl). The school year that proceeded ended up being the worst of my life. I was teased by all of my "friends" and actually ended up pretty depressed (which really got me started with writing poetry and lyrics..sooo...plus?). Their name of choice for me was "Butch"..it still makes me cringe. You can't take a tomboy and give them a boy's haircut and expect it to go ok! I can't even count how many times even adults mistakenly called me a boy. Luckily I was 12 and hitting puberty, sooooo certain bodily changes made it pretty clear shortly after that I was, in fact, a girl
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Not content with ruining my boyhood dreams of growing up to become Tarzan: "You'll have to pay TAX on bananas and those tree houses still have mortgages", my Mom also dressed me in T-Shirts with my name on them.
According to the photographic evidence supplied in ye olde family albums, every T-Shirt she bought for me as a child has got my name emblazoned on the front.
Even more evil than that? My name has two Ts in it. Every T-Shirt has my name with one T."
durtydriscoll
(maTThew)
Did your mother not get the memo that you're not supposed to put your kids in clothes, etc. with their names on it? It's a security thing, you don't want strangers knowing your kids name.0 -
I don't pay tax on bananas.0
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In retrospect, I think I've done more horrible things to them then they have ever done to me. 0
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My parents screwed me up and I in turn will screw up my son - that's what parents do! :laugh:
I wish my Mum hadn't got me addicted to eating junk food at night watching tv!0 -
My mother is crazy, like psycho
She yells and freaks out about everything. Instead of looking for her keys she yells at everyone in the house at 6am to find them for her. When in reality they are in the bed sheets (which is where any normal would've looked after someone gives them their keys back while they are sleep)
When she gets upset at someone at the store, like a cashier. She'll walk pass that person, curse them out loud enough for them to hear only and then when they curse back she'll go tell the manager on them.
She put me in an abstinence class while I was 5 months pregnant with my son. Then got upset because I wanted to wear the t-shirt with the word printed across the front in large letters.
We had a dog once that got sick, so she had to take the dog down the street and leave it in an empty lot.
Just today she made me walk 20 minutes one-way to get gas for her car (actually it's my car. I paid for it with MY money and it's in MY name...unless she stole my title. I just let her use it because she just happened to have the van repo'd as I was selling that car). Sure I used the car, but she let me use the car while it was already on empty, and I didn't bother to put any gas in it either.0 -
on the fourth of july when i was 10y/old, i accidentaly stepped on a wasp's nest.. our town had a 4th of july parade every year and i walked in it with my ballet class, all of is in leotards, tights and tu-tu's.. so when i stepped on the nest, the wasps got stuck to my tights and leotard and kept stinging me.. hurt so bad! so i come running out from the tree and i have wasps following me, stuck to me and still stinging.. the fire dept was at the picnic, so it would have been no problem to get help right aways, but instead of that, my dad picked me up and put me in the truck, my mom was yelling at him to let the fire dept handle it, he says "no i'll take her" ..
well he didnt, he talked me out of going to the emergency room by offering me a deli sandwich and a chocolate milk, and telling me that i would have to get a shot... .. i asked him about it later, and he just figured it would be a big cost, and i seemed fine to him.
i was fine, so he was right, but i'll never let him live that down...0 -
:noway: OMG you poor dear! That was too funny!on the fourth of july when i was 10y/old, i accidentaly stepped on a wasp's nest.. our town had a 4th of july parade every year and i walked in it with my ballet class, all of is in leotards, tights and tu-tu's.. so when i stepped on the nest, the wasps got stuck to my tights and leotard and kept stinging me.. hurt so bad! so i come running out from the tree and i have wasps following me, stuck to me and still stinging.. the fire dept was at the picnic, so it would have been no problem to get help right aways, but instead of that, my dad picked me up and put me in the truck, my mom was yelling at him to let the fire dept handle it, he says "no i'll take her" ..
well he didnt, he talked me out of going to the emergency room by offering me a deli sandwich and a chocolate milk, and telling me that i would have to get a shot... .. i asked him about it later, and he just figured it would be a big cost, and i seemed fine to him.
i was fine, so he was right, but i'll never let him live that down...
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When I was about 10 years old, I stabbed my older brother with a sharpened pencil. My mother made me clean his "wound" every day until it "healed" AND do all his chores.
I still haven't forgiven her for that one! :sad: :bigsmile: :blushing:0 -
Did your mother not get the memo that you're not supposed to put your kids in clothes, etc. with their names on it? It's a security thing, you don't want strangers knowing your kids name.
Now her actions become more evil, she obviouly wanted me to get snatched
Will tease her on this point next time we talk
At least when my brother got my hand-me-downs he wouldn't have reposnded to any would be pedos calling him maThew.0 -
Well, I'm the oldest, and as my parents told me, the experiemental child. So, when I was 1, 1981, mind you, they dressed their chubby sweet little child in courdoroy poop brown bell bottom overalls. My mom to this day can't figure out why my thighs always had such terrible rashes... well, y'know, mom, you put your fat kid in overalls, and that is what happens (my mom is tiny, still, at 61)0
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I don't pay tax on bananas.
Are you Jane? Do you live in a tree house?0 -
Too many to recount, but here's one... we were a large family with a small income so she sewed much of our clothing. Everyone knew the Andrews kids were related - we had matching outfits. But hey, I rocked those red denim bell bottomed hip huggers!
My sister and I had matching dresses, and my mom had ones to match too. She just bought as much of what ever fabric was on sale and sewed us all an outfit. I dread when she pulls out the picture albums!0 -
My parents trusted me too much when I was a teenager.0
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SATURDAY MORNING SCHOOL...did you know the dictionaries that come w/ the encyclopedias had vocabulary tests in them? WELL I DO! No wonder I love MATH lol0
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When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!
omG too funny...I have the exact same memory (with a few variations of course) :PP0 -
SATURDAY MORNING SCHOOL...did you know the dictionaries that come w/ the encyclopedias had vocabulary tests in them? WELL I DO! No wonder I love MATH lol
oh cmon now. we all know joe jackson gave you some better stories than that.0 -
She'd hear music in a store and *gasp* start dancing. In Public!!! And...she'd talk to strangers. Like have a conversation with people she didn't know.
I'm scarred for life...and I do these same things. It's like a curse or something...0 -
Mine didn't teach me that merely particpating = winning.
The world owes me a LOT of trophies.0 -
My parents were fantastic, but my mum was a pushover with food. Instead of making me eat fruit and veggies, I was allowed to dictate what I would and would not eat at age 6. For years I ate ice-cream for breakfast. I wish they'd smacked some sense into me, then I might not have struggled with my weight all my teen and adult life.0
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they made me respect my elders.
say yes ma'am and no ma'am and yes sir and no sir.
they made me behave in public.
they spanked me if I didn't behave in public.
oh yes they were truly evil!0 -
on the fourth of july when i was 10y/old, i accidentaly stepped on a wasp's nest.. our town had a 4th of july parade every year and i walked in it with my ballet class, all of is in leotards, tights and tu-tu's.. so when i stepped on the nest, the wasps got stuck to my tights and leotard and kept stinging me.. hurt so bad! so i come running out from the tree and i have wasps following me, stuck to me and still stinging.. the fire dept was at the picnic, so it would have been no problem to get help right aways, but instead of that, my dad picked me up and put me in the truck, my mom was yelling at him to let the fire dept handle it, he says "no i'll take her" ..
well he didnt, he talked me out of going to the emergency room by offering me a deli sandwich and a chocolate milk, and telling me that i would have to get a shot... .. i asked him about it later, and he just figured it would be a big cost, and i seemed fine to him.
i was fine, so he was right, but i'll never let him live that down...
Literally ... tears are streaming down my eyes. Oh, good God. I'm so sorry to find humor in your pain. I bet you got a few ice cream cones along the way to adulthood over that one. Or at least I hope you did. Never, I say never, let him forget.
Shoot, my dad knocked me off the roof of the house when I was little. It was by accident, but I milked it as much as I could.0
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