Horrible things your parents did to you

dakitten2

I dont want to taint the humor of the thread, so my demons from childhood shall remain silent except for in my blog.

dawnstrassburg

My parents are pretty awesome but once my my mom was mad at me becuase instead of helping her unload groceries I was on the phone with my best friend. She came in the house pissed off and chucked a gallon of milk at my head. Thankfully I was about 20 feet away and the milk only went 8 to 10 feet...max. When the milk hit the floor and exploded she then threw a pound of bologna at me (got my shoulder), I told my friend I had to get going becuase I was being attacked by flying oscar meyer. To this day, I steal tease my mom about her absuing me with lunchmeat.

Kaa525

He also used to lay out in the back yard in his underware and say it was the same as a swimsuit.

LOL!

Ddmck1

My Dad told me that the radio in his truck was broken and it would only play country music. I believed him until I was 13!!

KarensCanDoIt

My parents weren't horrible at all. I was the baby and they treated me that way. Sometimes they were just a little misguided.

One thing very clear in my memory happened in Junior High. My mom was well intentioned. I was always one of the "husky" kids in grade school. Weight has been an issue my entire life. This carried over to Junior High along with pre-teen awkwardness, etc.

To make me realize that I should be a smaller size, she bought me a girdle and made me wear it under some too-tight polyester pants. It was the 70's. Tight polyester bell bottoms don't look good on anyone no matter what size you are, but picture sausage stuffed in its casing. That's what I looked like. It was extremely embarrassing. I took the girdle off once I got to school, but still it was very uncomfortable knowing how bad I looked. Of course, there were the mean kids who let me know it too. I probably stopped at the 7-11 on the way home to buy a slurpee and candybar to console myself.

La_Amazona

When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!

This made me crack up!


When we were little my middle sister had this thing about drawing on her dolls faces and cutting their hair.. even brand new dolls. My mom got so fed up with it that one day she took a pen and wrote all over my sisters face.. just like Betsy did on her dolls. To think of it today, is hilarious but it was bad back then. Mom told her to go outside and play and my sister was crying. So we went outside with her face all drawn on. hahahaha I love my mom.

auroranflash

My dad would take us to and from the neighborhood pool in his awesome old gold and white pontiac, and he would set his Big Gulp cup on top of the roof and drive slowly and laugh every time someone would yell at him that the cup was on the roof of the car.

Heehee. I love my daddy.

vanillasugar

OMG, most of these are just too hysterical - thanks so much for the laughs. and ((hugs)) to all for what we've endured.

My parents weren't too awful - love you Mom! (I know she creeps on my page to see what posts I participate in lmao). But some of the things I can remember - we were pretty tight on funds so our mom also made our clothes, which in itself wasn't so bad. The bad part was being dragged to fabric stores while she shopped for fabric for HOURS on end (ok, ok, perhaps it only SEEMED like hours at the time, but still traumatic.) To this day I get panic attacks when I pass by a fabric or craft type store

Also being tight on funding, to save on laundry costs, she would make us wear our clothes for two days before putting them in the laundry hamper. The bad part? We wore them 2 days in a ROW, so yea, we got teased (this was in grade school) And for some reason, it didn't occur to us to tell her we got teased. It was only after we were older that this came out and we teased her about making us go through this. She claims it didn't occur to her to have us alternate the days we wore them.

When I skipped school in junior high and got caught, my mom made me write notes of apology to all my teachers for skipping their class. That was pretty mortifying.

My dad would try out his (non-existant) martial arts moves on me and my little sister after any movie that featured said martial arts. Oh, yes, and he also routinely sat on us, held us down and would let his spit string out until it was barely touching our noses before sucking it back up again. ::shudders::

On the other hand, I am pretty sure after being scarred for life by my own parents, that I have successfully scarred my own kids far worse :laugh:

I regularly dance and/or sing to store music when they are with me. I flirt with their friends (of any sex, doesn't really matter - it is, after all, for mortification sake so all goes). I have sneaked into the oldest child's room and woke her up by holding a pillow over her head and telling her just before lowering it "I"m sorry honey, but times are tough and one of you just has to go" LOL. The youngest was told that she was dropped on our doorstep by a band of traveling gypsies.

And my favorite: I regularly threatened them that if they didn't behave, I would drive them to school and pick them up every day and walk them to their class holding their hand wearing only my bathrobe and hair curlers. Also if said good behavior wasn't forthcoming, another favorite threat was to volunteer at their school dances just so I could dance in front of them with their friends. :happy: Evil? Perhaps. But at least they have good sense of humor and plenty to tell their future therapist :laugh:

star87cc

my mum and my gran were in partnership for childhood mental scarring... my gran would knit matching patchwork jumpers, hats, gloves and scarves for my brother and I (he's 3 years younger) and I was a small kid and he was a big kid and everyone would think we were twins, my mum loved this >_> it continued for many years lol

oh and my dad is a big kid at heart and loves sneaking up behind you when you're busy in the kitchen (for example making a drink and in a world of your own) and grabbing ur sides and making a loud high pitched noise, he still does this, he did this to me only yesterday... I'm 25 this year.. but I have developed a 6th sense so now I brace myself and grit my teeth lol

mielikkibz

My mom used to beat me with wooden spoons and the metal end of the belt. She ran out of wooden spoons my sophomore year of HS.

I think the saddest part is that you were still getting beat your sophomore year in high school.

yeah, you'd think the OP would've learned her lesson long before high school

AMIS456

In High School my dad would walk around singing the "Thong Song" when my friends came over.... *sigh* hahaha He still sings wildly inappropriate songs seeming to be completely unaware how 'dirty' they are.

KarensCanDoIt

lol - my mom still can't talk about that subject without whispering. :embarassed:

Shanna_Inc86

She'd hear music in a store and *gasp* start dancing. In Public!!! And...she'd talk to strangers. Like have a conversation with people she didn't know.

I'm scarred for life...and I do these same things. It's like a curse or something...

This was my mom and NOW I do the same thing hahahaha
That and I hated how she'd be so bold telling people what she thought, "mother just shut up...." and NOW, that's ME!!

TinaDay1114

My Dad told me that the radio in his truck was broken and it would only play country music. I believed him until I was 13!!

I think every radio we OWNED was broken that way. And our TV only played "Hee Haw" and "Lawrence Welk." :noway:

Kaa525

In High School my dad would walk around singing the "Thong Song" when my friends came over.... *sigh* hahaha He still sings wildly inappropriate songs seeming to be completely unaware how 'dirty' they are.

HA! My dad used to sing the "Barbie" song..."come on barbie let's go party...". He claimed it was his favorite song at the time.

BeeElMarvin

When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!

HA! Flashlight flashback! (without the pendejo part)

AMIS456

In High School my dad would walk around singing the "Thong Song" when my friends came over.... *sigh* hahaha He still sings wildly inappropriate songs seeming to be completely unaware how 'dirty' they are.

HA! My dad used to sing the "Barbie" song..."come on barbie let's go party...". He claimed it was his favorite song at the time.

Haha yes the more akward it is the more likely my dad loves it - his 'ringback' tone for a while was 'I need you now' bahahaha my dad never understood why we would be dying laughing everytime he answered his phone.

EmCarroll1990

Growing up, my mom was pretty prim and proper. My father on the other hand, was a total dork.

When I was probably about 11, I went to visit my dad and step mom in the states. We stayed at a Hotel and I forgot to bring any of my bras. So my step mom and I went out and bought a couple of those white ones that have the triangular cups. No big deal... Well, we go to check out of the Hotel once we were done our weekend stay, and I'm standing around while my step mom is dealing with the reception dude. Out of no where, from down the other side of the lobby I hear, "Hey Emma! Did you make sure you didn't forget anything in the room?!" I'm just like, "Yeah..." Please note, there are QUITE a few people in the lobby, it is so far from being empty. My dad says, "Are you sure?!" "Yeah..." At this point I'm starting to get a little worried. And finally, "WELL, I FOUND YOUR BRAZIER IN THE BATHROOM!!!" Not, "bra" but "brazier". And flings the pathetic little bra over towards me. I was so mortified.

LadyKT

After 10 minutes of trying to teach me stick, my dad had me stop the truck...switched me spots, looked at me and said "NEVER buy a clutch. You drive the car, it's an automatic" To this day I still cannot drive a stick...well, vehicle stick anyway :devil:

same thing with me!!! Horrible too - I really want a civic si, but they're manual

skittybang

My mom awarded me with this beautiful buzz cut when I was about 2 or 3. A friend told her it'd make my hair grow out nice and full. Problem is I look like a little boy in a dress. Awesome mom.

ElizabethRoad

After 10 minutes of trying to teach me stick, my dad had me stop the truck...switched me spots, looked at me and said "NEVER buy a clutch. You drive the car, it's an automatic" To this day I still cannot drive a stick...well, vehicle stick anyway :devil:

same thing with me!!! Horrible too - I really want a civic si, but they're manual

Maybe you need a new teacher. My father and my best friend tried to teach me and I failed miserably, but my husband taught me and it was easy! You need someone who has a proven track record.

MyFeistyEvolution

My mom cut my hair. I always looked like I'd be hacked by Edward Scissorhands. :grumble:

LadyKT

My parents rented the movie "It" when I was a little kid. I snuck out to the top of the stairway and watched some of it (It was a perfect view of the living room tv.). Of course I thought it was terribly scary. I thought I was smooth, and slipped back in bed. Didn't think my parents noticed I had been up there watching. I woke up in the middle of the night to see a clown head "floating" by my bedside. Then the walkie talkies in my room crackled to life in the darkness saying "Come down here where everything floats" in a creepy voice. I was TERRIFIED.

My dad had crawled under my bed while I was asleep...I had this bank that looked like a clown, and to get the money out you had to take the head off. He had taken the head off, stuck it on the end of a pencil and was "floating" it next to the bed in the dark.

I never, ever snuck out to my "hiding spot" to watch movies after bedtime again. I'm also still terrified of clowns.

Pardon me for saying this....but HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'm sorry you're traumatized by that, but that is hilarious.

LadyKT

After 10 minutes of trying to teach me stick, my dad had me stop the truck...switched me spots, looked at me and said "NEVER buy a clutch. You drive the car, it's an automatic" To this day I still cannot drive a stick...well, vehicle stick anyway :devil:

same thing with me!!! Horrible too - I really want a civic si, but they're manual

Maybe you need a new teacher. My father and my best friend tried to teach me and I failed miserably, but my husband taught me and it was easy! You need someone who has a proven track record.

I need someone with patience. Saint like patience. I'm very difficult when frustrated!

Twinkletoestasha

My boy is 4 and hiding behind corners or doors and jumping out shouting RARGH never gets old ! I love it..it will make him a stronger person...LOL:laugh:

My dad found it hilarious to pounce after I got ready with an egg on the head..........there were alot of outfit changes and delays due to this stupid hoax. Started to keep the actual outift I wanted in my room wear something casual downstairs......:indifferent:

lyngoode

-One time, when I was maybe 12, he was working on his car and I was helping him. He took out some petroleum jelly to lube up a part, and then somehow got onto the subject of how you should never let a guy have sex with you up your butt, because its disrespectful. Yes, my dad had this conversation with me when I was that young...I think I might be a little traumatized and that's why I can't forget it.

OMG, I could not stop laughing at this--so sorry....

Bronx_Montgomery

They told me I was awesome and can accomplish anything!! Those inhuman *kitten*!! Because of them I Now live life LIKE A BOSS!

interceptor311

My father took me to see Poltergeist when I was 6!! I still cant watch it

oceanchristy

My dad loved to embaress me as a kid.

For one birthday party when i was about 8 or 9 he showed up in cowboy boots and shorts. Need I say more?
My face was a hundred shades of red.
He also used to pick me up from school blasting the riverdance soundtrack.

My mom on the other hand , used to take my bedroom door off its hinges whenever I slammed it.
It was pretty akward considering my room was right next to the entrance to the house.

beckihadfield87

ooh gosh, my dad sent me to my first non-uniform day at secondary school in a neon green jogging suit, with a brand new cut pudding bowl bob. never did live that one down, thanks dad!