Horrible things your parents did to you

committomittxoxo

No, this isn't a topic about child abuse.

Recently I posted this little story on facebook but wondered if there are any amusing stories from MFPers and their parents:


"All Mom's are evil.

Not content with ruining my boyhood dreams of growing up to become Tarzan: "You'll have to pay TAX on bananas and those tree houses still have mortgages", my Mom also dressed me in T-Shirts with my name on them.

According to the photographic evidence supplied in ye olde family albums, every T-Shirt she bought for me as a child has got my name emblazoned on the front.

Even more evil than that? My name has two Ts in it. Every T-Shirt has my name with one T."

durtydriscoll
(maTThew)

Ummmm... I think I might be in love with you.

MissyL84

My mom broke into my diary. Yelled at me for some things I had done two years prior. She told my family everything. My aunt gave me a "do you wanna be in the big girl pool" talk-a condescending talk that makes you feel like a horrible person. Then I was grounded for 3 or 4 months and berated by my family throughout the grounding.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

When they named me Jaclyn which I don't like because it sound very feminine (I'm boyish though not a lesbian) & I hate girly stuff very much. Also many find it too rare that is hard to pronounce & spell. I don't like to be called by that name up to now.

NeuroticVirgo

Honestly, I can only think of a few things, and most of them were my dad. I love that man, but sometimes he was just to open for his own good I think. LOL

- I remember when I was in grade school he brought in a moving box full little debbie treats, which to a bunch of 10 year olds was awesome....then I got home, to find out he got hem out of a dumpster behind a Safeway. X.X Yep... His reasoning was "They were just throwing them away because they were one day past the sell by date, that means they are still good"

-One time, when I was maybe 12, he was working on his car and I was helping him. He took out some petroleum jelly to lube up a part, and then somehow got onto the subject of how you should never let a guy have sex with you up your butt, because its disrespectful. Yes, my dad had this conversation with me when I was that young...I think I might be a little traumatized and that's why I can't forget it.

TinaDay1114

My mom worked for a vet for about 20 years, and thought she could do anything a vet OR a doctor could do.

Sooooo...She didn't like the stray male cats in our country area pee-ing on her flower beds. She made me hold one down while she (ahem) neutered him with a razor blade. I was sobbing (I didn't know what she was gonna do beforehand), and she's saying, "Oh come ON, he's FINE...he'll just shake it off." :noway:

She also used to trap squirrels who dug up her plants and then "disposed" of them.

I kept dislocating my little toe after slamming it into a piece of furniture when I was a teenager. After the 3rd time, my mom said, "I can put it back in for you. Come here." Like an idiot, I let her try. She yanked on my toe, we heard a loud CRACK, and it still wasn't right. When we finally went to the doctor, he said, "Gee, looks like you BROKE IT this time." I just glared at my mother. :grumble: That toe still isn't right.

Needless to say, guys I brought home had to worry about my MOM more than my DAD.

CrazyDaisysMommy

My mother insisted on saying to every boy I ever introduced her to--most of whom I wasn't romantically involved with-- that she would leave a ladder up against my bedroom window in case anyone wanted to elope with me. Oh ya. Because you know that all teenage boys are thinking about is running away and getting married.

And the bangs. Why did she have to cut my bangs the night before every school picture was taken? I mean, she had photographic evidence from all the previous years that she couldn't cut my bangs evenly, but without fail, out came the scissors...

SafireBleu

I'm gonna have tons to pay in psychiatry bills to make up for the damage I am doing to them LOL.

fbmandy55

I grew up a Real Estate brat...Oddly enough I ended up in the same field. My mom was the top producing Realtor in our city during my younger days and would drag us everywhere or leave us home alone all the time. We were either in the car for hours and hours while she worked or home alone at a young age. No middle ground

I remember one time she got a waitress fired from O'Charleys because she was taking our orders and my mom answered a client's call and then threw a fit that the waitress didn't come back when she was off the phone. My brother and I HATED eating out because my mom was so hateful to people that worked in restaurants. She would make me diet and get me to work out because I was too heavy, from the age of 10 or so through my teens. In high school she would bring men home that were closer to my age and get me up to drink and party with her on school nights. I didn't like it much then and realize now how crazy that was. I am pretty wild now, just not into partying with 30 year olds when I was 17.

As the market kind of tanked and is slowly recovering, my mom lost most of her business. Many rentals and her own home. She kind of got a big reality check and her ego was knocked down a few notches. She's a bit better now but I will always look at her as Celia from Weeds. Lol.

itgeekwoman

My mother always threatened to call child services and have them take us away. I was looking forward to it with 6 brothers and sisters.

TinaDay1114

-One time, when I was maybe 12, he was working on his car and I was helping him. He took out some petroleum jelly to lube up a part, and then somehow got onto the subject of how you should never let a guy have sex with you up your butt, because its disrespectful. Yes, my dad had this conversation with me when I was that young...I think I might be a little traumatized and that's why I can't forget it.

:noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: YIKES. My mom thought it was horrible that they had TAMPON commercials on TV 'cause she thought that was too racy -- I don't even think she knows about petroleum jelly OR (ahem) that other stuff. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

fbmandy55

My mom worked for a vet for about 20 years, and thought she could do anything a vet OR a doctor could do.

Sooooo...She didn't like the stray male cats in our country area pee-ing on her flower beds. She made me hold one down while she (ahem) neutered him with a razor blade. I was sobbing (I didn't know what she was gonna do beforehand), and she's saying, "Oh come ON, he's FINE...he'll just shake it off." :noway:

OMG!!!

Kaa525

My mom used to put pigtails in my hair and "drive" me around the house for her own amusement. Also, she would make me sing "On the good ship Lollipop" every time I wanted a snack. Once, I snuck a popsicle out of the freezer and ate it without asking permission and when she confronted my brother and I about who ate it, she told us she would bring the stick (that she had pulled out of the trash can) to the police and have them finger print it. I ended up telling the truth out of fear of a criminal record.

My father would chase us kids around the house and play "tickle monster". I frequently was tickled excessively until I inevitably peed my pants. He never learned his lesson. Also, my parents could be found "tailgating" out of the back of their station wagon during any soccer or baseball game my brother or I participated in.

My father once dressed up as "Captain Fudgie" for halloween. This costume entailed him wearing a pair of tighty whitey underpants over his jeans. The "fudgie" part of the costume was a thick long streak of brown shoe polish up the back of those underpants. I will never forget that sight.

My parent's had "nicknames" for my brother an I growing up. He was referred to as "Monkey Paws". I was in turn referred to as "Puffin Toots". They would call us by our "nicknames" in public whenever possible, trying to embarrass us for their own pleasure. To this day, they still call my brother "Officer Monkey Paws", now that he is a state trooper.

I could probably go on...but I wont. Child torture is definitely genetic though, I can tell you that.

mamadragon

We told our kids we were actually aliens who had eaten their parents and we were just waiting for them to get fat enough to eat and then we could go back to our home planet.

LMAO!!!! I told our kids almost the same thing. :bigsmile:

AmberJslimsAWAY

Well, I was 12, and I started my period for the first time. I freaked out and my mom gave me a tampon. Not knowing what to do, i tried to get the entire thing in there, applicator and all, and when I walked out of the bathroom funny, I told my mom it hurt and I didn't like it, so she went to get me pads. I finally found how to use a tampon about a year later by reading the little insert... thanks mom. (I still tell this to everyone as her "number one mom" story)

nakabi

they made me respect my elders.

say yes ma'am and no ma'am and yes sir and no sir.

they made me behave in public.

they spanked me if I didn't behave in public.

oh yes they were truly evil!

we must have had the same parents

AlicynH

My dad was a high school math teacher for years before getting his phD and becoming a professor in computer science. When ever I would ask him for help with my math I would hate it. If I didn't get it the first time he would start yelling at me. I would start crying and he would tell me that my bladder was to close to my eyes. That was more than 20 years ago. I have recently gone back to school and my first class was a math class. I was having a problem with a math question and after staring at it for an hour I finally scanned it into my computer and emailed it to my dad. When I called him, the first thing I said was I needed help but he couldn't yell at me. At least if he did I could hang up on him Luckily I got it the first time. Glad to say, I take my final test in the class today and am done with this math class. I still have two more.

KellyKAG

I was the human remote control before televisions had them. I would have to stand at the tv and change the channel. Of couse you have to wait a minute at each channel to see if its interesting.

He also used to lay out in the back yard in his underware and say it was the same as a swimsuit.

auticus

My mother burned my music. Twice. She claimed she saw demons in the smoke crying out.

She burned my D&D things. Because supposedly it was filled with devil worshipping pornography. Funny side note, I got into D&D because my mother warned me about those things and I thought that would be cool, and it turned out none of it was in there.

They also became super religious about when I was 13/14 and we went from being conservative catholics to super pentacostals, which is a little bit more than my introverted and quiet self could handle.

RockaholicMama

I never had a relationship with my mom until I was about 20. I never lived with my parents at all. At 8 months old I went to live with my Da's parents. My parents would come visit me there, but I never had a steady parent/child relationship until I was much older, my grandparents had passed and I wasn't even in the state anymore.

AmyEm3

When I was little I saw my pregnant cousin and I asked my mom how she got that big belly. My mom told me she swallowed a watermelon seed. The next time I ate watermelon I accidentally swallowed a seed and started freaking out crying b/c I thought the same thing was going to happen to me.