Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

paigemarie93

If we really want to talk about the Bible, lets talk about lying. There's not a one among us who has never done this. Even if all you've ever done is tell someone their baby was cute when it wasn't, or that dress looked good when it didn't. They are told to spare feelings, but still, they are lies.

So we've all sinned to one degree or another. Which means that not a one of us qualifies to judge anyone else on the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" prerequisite.

"For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God" - That is why their is a little thing called Repenting!
We can judge in righteous judgement - judge on sin & rebuke.
"let he who is without sin cast the first stone" - that applies to people who judge unrighteously.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. Of course you can repent. But you're still not perfect. And, let's face it, the next time your girlfriend asks you if these pants make her butt look big, you're gonna lie again. Cuz no one is gonna tell their friend, you betcha, it looks like two pounds of sh-- in a one pound bag. You're gonna sin again. None of us is entirely righteous. But a lot of us, it is apparent, are self-righteous. And isn't hubris a sin, too, according to the bible?

It's wrong of them to jump all on your case and call you a racist just because you disagree with them. But it is also wrong of you to believe that you have any right to judge anyone else for the decisions they make. None of us does, not if they aren't hurting anyone.

Of course no one's perfect, I never said that!!!!!!!!
I wasn't judging, I said let them do what they want with their own marriage, I personally would not do that because I believe you shouldn't bring anyone else into your marriage.
I very rarely judge people, I judge the actions, I did not once say I thought the people were disgusting or anything like that, I just said that I wouldn't do it because I don't agree with it.
"love thy neighbour as thy self" means to love people irregardless of their actions, even if you're against them (love thy neighbour permits rebuking).

kbw414

I think something's broken inside you if you can't commit completely to one person and have that be enough. Either you're with the wrong person or you have insecurities that you have to fill with promiscuity and outside attention.

Well said!

And back to 3 hours ago, I think something must be broken in y'all if you are so quick to pass judgement on something you don't understand. Sure, it may not be for you and that's totally cool, but insulting what others like is not cool.

Well, you sort of have to be a very, very liberally minded in order to hold your viewpoint. And what YOU need to remember is not everyone is so liberal. Where's YOUR open-mindedness and respect for those who are more conservative and/or traditional?

Avalonis

Well, you sort of have to be a very, very liberally minded in order to hold your viewpoint. And what YOU need to remember is not everyone is so liberal. Where's YOUR open-mindedness and respect for those who are more conservative and/or traditional?

Thats the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard. Allow me to paraphrase.

"You not liking that I am intolerant and can't accept people that don't think the way I think means that YOU are intolerant as well."


No... no it doesn't. It means that she wants the freedom to believe what she likes without having something else forced upon her.

Fairysoul

I personally belive that sex between two people is a very private and intimate thing, not just a f*** for fun thing... Just my opinion...

TentacleTango

Why get married in the first place.. O_o

Either way, I couldn't do it at all.

Cold_Steel

Basing morality on a book (The Holy Bible) that is extremely controversial in its authenticity. A book written by man, supposedly the direct word of god, even though written at different stages and periods with having different authors over periods of time is the problem here.

There is recent evidence (Dead Sea Scrolls and several adaptations of the different Canonical Counsels [where they decide what books will be in the bible]) that certain books were authored by different people through linguistic characteristics and historical evidence in my opinion voids the bible as a means for basing much other than the existence of a God and religion.

The fact is the old testament was written during a time when the "Chosen People" where in great flux with their neighbors and it was more or less a rallying cry of a hateful tyrannical God. The new testament was simply a way to sell the new religion to people. I am not denying the existence of any of the mythical christian stories but the validity of the bible and the direct from the mouth of God concept is very questionable in a society that places so much "DIRECT WORD OF GOD REFERENCE" on the bible.

To say I base my moral teachings on principles that have been around for thousands of years is a fallacy. Especially since the validity of the book is in question with in regards to whom it was written, edited and canonicalized by.

Cold_Steel

Basing morality on a book (The Holy Bible) that is extremely controversial in its authenticity. A book written by man, supposedly the direct word of god, even though written at different stages and periods with having different authors over periods of time is the problem here.

There is recent evidence (Dead Sea Scrolls and several adaptations of the different Canonical Counsels [where they decide what books will be in the bible]) that certain books were authored by different people through linguistic characteristics and historical evidence in my opinion voids the bible as a means for basing much other than the existence of a God and religion.

The fact is the old testament was written during a time when the "Chosen People" where in great flux with their neighbors and it was more or less a rallying cry of a hateful tyrannical God. The new testament was simply a way to sell the new religion to people. I am not denying the existence of any of the mythical christian stories but the validity of the bible and the direct from the mouth of God concept is very questionable in a society that places so much "DIRECT WORD OF GOD REFERENCE" on the bible.

To say I base my moral teachings on principles that have been around for thousands of years is a fallacy. Especially since the validity of the book is in question with in regards to whom it was written, edited and canonicalized by.

I kind of missed my own point on this one... But to say open or homosexual marriages are wrong because the bible says so when open and homosexual relationships were abundant pre christian era is a problem. To say it is wrong because it has not existed in thousands of years is very ignorant, pre-christianity open and homosexuals were not deemed as morally wrong.

nanodot

Gentlepeople, the question "Why get married in the first place?" has been answered about ten times in this thread.

To paraphrase: for almost exactly the same reasons that monogamous people do.

MikeSEA

To each their own. It doesn't affect me, unless of course I get an invitation.

kylesmommy89

Definitely not for me!! Ick!!

:grumble:

I could have done without the last word... nice.

?? You are offended by me saying the thought of my husband with another woman is icky? Lmao at someone getting offended at the word ick!!

alyssa92982

If the couple has clear boundaries about it and are mature about it then whatever floats their boats. Obviously trust and self esteen would not be a major issue here either I'm guessing. I know I would have a hard time with that wondering if my husband would find the other women more attractive than me or what have ya.

kflynn28147

:noway: Noway I believe in the Bible and what is says. Does not the marriage vows say keep thy self only unto thee?

Yasmine91

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Yasmine91

And why do these matters have to come into religion? can you not be a decent human being without following a religion? it doesn't take faith to tell you that this is wrong, it's common sense.

paigemarie93

Definitely not for me!! Ick!!

:grumble:

I could have done without the last word... nice.

?? You are offended by me saying the thought of my husband with another woman is icky? Lmao at someone getting offended at the word ick!!

This thread is annoying, if you don't agree with it then you're automatically hated upon, it's ridiculous.
@Kylesmommy, don't take it to heart, people don't seem to like people having an opinion.

nanodot

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

You... think that day will ever come? I guess maybe if there was a zombie apocalypse....

kbw414

Well, you sort of have to be a very, very liberally minded in order to hold your viewpoint. And what YOU need to remember is not everyone is so liberal. Where's YOUR open-mindedness and respect for those who are more conservative and/or traditional?

Thats the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard. Allow me to paraphrase.

"You not liking that I am intolerant and can't accept people that don't think the way I think means that YOU are intolerant as well."


No... no it doesn't. It means that she wants the freedom to believe what she likes without having something else forced upon her.

Yes, Cowboy. You were able to comprehend that correctly.

Tolerance goes both ways. It is just as hypocritical for someone with liberal values to promote those liberal values (such as open marriages) onto others and expect them to tolerate their choices, as it is for conservative/traditionals to push their conservative values of monogamous marriages onto others.

"Open-minded" people always just want everyone to be more "open-minded." Don't you see the irony in that? They want others to be just like they are.

TentacleTango

Gentlepeople, the question "Why get married in the first place?" has been answered about ten times in this thread.

To paraphrase: for almost exactly the same reasons that monogamous people do.

Maybe ten times over the course of 17+ pages worth of pointless arguing.

Regardless, it was a rhetorical question.

seattlerain

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

Wileyjoe

And why do these matters have to come into religion? can you not be a decent human being without following a religion? it doesn't take faith to tell you that this is wrong, it's common sense.

brilliant!

paigemarie93

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

"keep your legs closed" or "keep your pants on" are used to refer to both sexes sometimes.

Schula03

I think whatever works for you!!! Who made up these laws and rules to live by anyway. My vote is do what makes you Happy, but make sure it is!!!

thelovelyLIZ

I fine with people having open marriages. I don't think it invalidates the institution of marriage or whatever like a lot of people will say, because marriage is a fluid concept that differs form person to person. I've spoken to some people who have open marriages/relationships, and it works quite well for them, because they are able to communicate with the partners. While the lifestyle would never be for me, I don't really care what other people do in their own bedrooms.

thelovelyLIZ

:noway: Noway I believe in the Bible and what is says. Does not the marriage vows say keep thy self only unto thee?

Well, considering a) not everyone is Christian and b) marriage is not a Christian institution, but has manifestations from culture to culture and religion to religion...

Also, let us remember polygamy was practiced in the Bible.

paigemarie93

Trying to defend my right to an opinion has made me tired. Goodnight.

fatgirlslove

Why bother to get married then?

THIS!^^^^^^^^^:noway:

seattlerain

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

"keep your legs closed" or "keep your pants on" are used to refer to both sexes sometimes.

Have you ever told a male to keep his legs closed?

I like you.

Yasmine91

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

"keep your legs closed" or "keep your pants on" are used to refer to both sexes sometimes.

Thank you.

Yasmine91

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

Oh no...men too

hdroddy

Definitely not for me!! Ick!!

:grumble:

I could have done without the last word... nice.

?? You are offended by me saying the thought of my husband with another woman is icky? Lmao at someone getting offended at the word ick!!

This thread is annoying, if you don't agree with it then you're automatically hated upon, it's ridiculous.
@Kylesmommy, don't take it to heart, people don't seem to like people having an opinion.

Define hated upon? There are some people on this thread who have been nasty to you. They did the same thing to me earlier in the thread. But there are a couple who defended you, and several who simply disagreed with you. There is a difference between the two. I don't agree with everything you've said, but I haven't hated upon you. I respect your opinion, and your right to it. I just don't entirely agree. I think it is wrong to use religion as justification in any kind of argument, that's all. You can't take it personally when someone disagrees with you if you're going to post to these sites. I agree that the ugliness some people respond with is way out of line, but it isn't going to go away. You just have to try not to let it get to you, and not stoop to the same level.