Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

paigemarie93

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

"keep your legs closed" or "keep your pants on" are used to refer to both sexes sometimes.

Have you ever told a male to keep his legs closed?

I like you.

No, but where I grew up, it was said to both men & women :laugh:

grapenutSF

I started on page 1 and formulated an opinion. Hitting reply brought me to page 20 where the conversation has "evolved." Shoulda guessed.

I will now keep that opinion to myself.

seattlerain

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

"keep your legs closed" or "keep your pants on" are used to refer to both sexes sometimes.

Thank you.

Notice how she didn't correct my statement? She just threw men into the mix.

ThatGirlGlow

lol, this thread is ridiculous bottom line if you're in a open relationship great. If you're in a monogamous realtionship great. I prefer monogamy because Iike I stated before intimacy (IN MY OPINION) is an added benefit to a relationship, I chose to be intimate with one person. Some people obviously want to be intimate with more than one. If your spouse/significant other is okay with that then nobody else's opinion matters. I've been in my relationship for 10 years. Now I actually have a question what are the benefits of an open marrige (I know this may sound ignorant, but I actually am on this subject) Is it the ability to not worry about cheating? And being able to sleep with other people? Anything else?

MikeSEA

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

spudman1232

As a therapist I have seen to much to know that it ALWAYS ends badly. So to each there own, but for those who choose this lifestyle it ends up in heart-ache, but hey, thats good for business.

nanodot

Well, you sort of have to be a very, very liberally minded in order to hold your viewpoint. And what YOU need to remember is not everyone is so liberal. Where's YOUR open-mindedness and respect for those who are more conservative and/or traditional?

Thats the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard. Allow me to paraphrase.

"You not liking that I am intolerant and can't accept people that don't think the way I think means that YOU are intolerant as well."


No... no it doesn't. It means that she wants the freedom to believe what she likes without having something else forced upon her.

Yes, Cowboy. You were able to comprehend that correctly.

Tolerance goes both ways. It is just as hypocritical for someone with liberal values to promote those liberal values (such as open marriages) onto others and expect them to tolerate their choices, as it is for conservative/traditionals to push their conservative values of monogamous marriages onto others.

"Open-minded" people always just want everyone to be more "open-minded." Don't you see the irony in that? They want others to be just like they are.

The problem is, open-minded people do not see it that way. They really don't; it's one of the really rock-solid differences between the camps.

Liberal people really do perceive conservatives as intolerant, and yes, it gets put in the same general category as racism. So, conservatives feel pressured to change social views that feel like common-sense to them; while liberals feel pressured to accept other people's traditional intolerance; and neither side likes it at all.

vzucco

lol, this thread is ridiculous bottom line if you're in a open relationship great. If you're in a monogamous realtionship great. I prefer monogamy because Iike I stated before intimacy (IN MY OPINION) is an added benefit to a relationship, I chose to be intimate with one person. Some people obviously want to be intimate with more than one. If your spouse/significant other is okay with that then nobody else's opinion matters. I've been in my relationship for 10 years. Now I actually have a question what are the benefits of an open marrige (I know this may sound ignorant, but I actually am on this subject) Is it the ability to not worry about cheating? And being able to sleep with other people? Anything else?

Thank you for posting this, I agree with every word you said!

Yasmine91

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

Hmm..

Are you insinuating that women in open relationships are *kitten*?

Sweet.

"keep your legs closed" or "keep your pants on" are used to refer to both sexes sometimes.

Thank you.

Notice how she didn't correct my statement? She just threw men into the mix.

Notice how no one gives a ****? put some clothes on.

paigemarie93

Definitely not for me!! Ick!!

:grumble:

I could have done without the last word... nice.

?? You are offended by me saying the thought of my husband with another woman is icky? Lmao at someone getting offended at the word ick!!

This thread is annoying, if you don't agree with it then you're automatically hated upon, it's ridiculous.
@Kylesmommy, don't take it to heart, people don't seem to like people having an opinion.

Define hated upon? There are some people on this thread who have been nasty to you. They did the same thing to me earlier in the thread. But there are a couple who defended you, and several who simply disagreed with you. There is a difference between the two. I don't agree with everything you've said, but I haven't hated upon you. I respect your opinion, and your right to it. I just don't entirely agree. I think it is wrong to use religion as justification in any kind of argument, that's all. You can't take it personally when someone disagrees with you if you're going to post to these sites. I agree that the ugliness some people respond with is way out of line, but it isn't going to go away. You just have to try not to let it get to you, and not stoop to the same level.

First off, I wasn't aiming this at you, so no need to get so defensive.
Secondly, there's nothing about my opinion to disagree with, I said let them get on with it, but I would never do it because it's against my standards & beliefs of marriage/my beliefs altogether, just because I personally wouldn't do it & don't agree, doesn't give anyone the right to take the way I live my life & tell me I'm wrong when I've said numerous times that I DON'T CARE what they do with their lives/marriages.

Yasmine91

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

Because it's trashy and wrong.

iqnas

Polygamy is much better than this.

bleedmean0cean

******I AM PASSING NO JUDGEMENT WHAT SO EVER...so dont you guys come hasslin me because you dont agree with what im saying. What you do is what you do in the privacy of your or others homes.*****

BUT.

I dont understand how an open relationship is possible without the underlying jealousy. It was something me and my sons father discussed, and tried, but ultimately failed at. Honestly i think it kinda tore my marriage apart. There were thoughts of "does she do stuff better than me", "what if he secretly enjoys her more", ectt.. We tried to lay ground rules, but it didnt work.

One would have to be in an INCREDIBLY stable relationship for this to work. Sex between persons changes a lot, even if rules are made..how easy is it to take those agreements back? Honestly i think its a bad idea, myself. It distracts from the whole of a family and the sanctity between 2 people.

but thats MY thoughts. yours remain as they are in your head.

seattlerain

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

Because it's trashy and wrong.

Because YOU think it's trashy and wrong doesn't make it so. I am all for opinions but insults are really not necessary.

Hopefully more life experience will do you justice. You seem to be lacking.

Asheea

I know a couple like this. I play with them in an MMORPG. The couple is married but the husband has a GF and the wife has a boyfriend. She just married the boyfriend this year. It works for them but I couldn't do it. I'm way too jealous and yes, I admit, insecure. They are a very sweet Trio and they are friends of ours. I don't know how they manage things intimately, don't ask, don't want to know. A little too much TMI. Altho, a part of me wants to know.

I can see the upside to it tho. When one of the spouses is away, there is another there to help. When two are playing a game the other deals with the kids. But, I can't imagine sharing my husband with another woman. Again, a "maid" would be nice. *tease*

MikeSEA

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

Because it's trashy and wrong.

So it's trashy and wrong for anyone to do it for no other reason than you (or anyone else) say so? Seems a little shaky.

hdroddy

[/quote]

First off, I wasn't aiming this at you, so no need to get so defensive.
Secondly, there's nothing about my opinion to disagree with, I said let them get on with it, but I would never do it because it's against my standards & beliefs of marriage/my beliefs altogether, just because I personally wouldn't do it & don't agree, doesn't give anyone the right to take the way I live my life & tell me I'm wrong when I've said numerous times that I DON'T CARE what they do with their lives/marriages.
[/quote]

Wasn't being defensive. Was sincerely interested. I don't know you. I don't give a hoot what you think of me. But I gotta tell you, there's always SOMETHING in EVERYONE'S opinion to disagree with. Doesn't mean anyone should tell you you're WRONG. Just means there's something to discuss. It's unfortunate you feel abused by the way the thread has gone, but sometimes that's just how it goes.

rockerbabyy

Open relationships dont work. Period.

mine works just fine, tyvm

Yasmine91

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

Because it's trashy and wrong.

Because YOU think it's trashy and wrong doesn't make it so. I am all for opinions but insults are really not necessary.

Hopefully more life experience will do you justice. You seem to be lacking.

I don't THINK it's FACT. It's all filth. Have one boyfriend or husband, wife or girlfriend, have mind blowing crazy monkey sex with them and like it. Jeez people need to fix up.

sjackson1717

The couple featured today have an open marriage. Both have $ex with other people. The husband's mistresse's husband approves of this as well.

What do you think, could it work. Is this the way to keep everyone happy in a marriage so to speak?

Oh and they have rules, no $ex in the marital bed, only on a blow up mattress. And condoms are not required, WTF :noway:

So let me see if I get this, This chick says: you can sleep with my Husband and without a condom but you just can't do it in my bed...So does that mean she has more respect for her bed than herself and her husband and vice versa? What the HELL difference does it make where your doing it? Nobody is touching my man or he is NOT my man!

kinkyslinky16

I could never be in an open marriage because I am extremely jealous. But I am really curious as to how it works, what are the rules, etc? So if anyone would like to talk about it, feel free to message me!! I am really interested in learning more about it!!!

MikeSEA

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

Because it's trashy and wrong.

Because YOU think it's trashy and wrong doesn't make it so. I am all for opinions but insults are really not necessary.

Hopefully more life experience will do you justice. You seem to be lacking.

I don't THINK it's FACT. It's all filth. Have one boyfriend or husband, wife or girlfriend, have mind blowing crazy monkey sex with them and like it. Jeez people need to fix up.

Fact: fact/fakt/: A thing that is indisputably the case.

Opinion: o·pin·ion: A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

Sophistry: soph·ist·ry: The use of fallacious arguments, esp. with the intention of deceiving.

rockerbabyy

oh yay! a second thread

Symphony6

oh yay! a second thread

:drinker:
I would typically enjoy spectator sports with a cool alcoholic bevie and possibly an artichoke dip platter. Too bad I'm on a diet.

seattlerain

I find it so mind boggling how people are even saying that this is ok or 'meeh if it works for them *insert dumb smiley face*'.

Urrgh...can't wait for the day when people decide to close their legs and just be faithful to one ****ing person.

So, if a couple gets married because they love each other and want to spend their lives together, they can't also be allowed to agree that it's ok to sleep with other people under agreed upon conditions?

Why is that again? I don't see how they're being unfaithful if everyone knows what's going on and approves. Everyone's marriage vows don't have to match.

Because it's trashy and wrong.

Because YOU think it's trashy and wrong doesn't make it so. I am all for opinions but insults are really not necessary.

Hopefully more life experience will do you justice. You seem to be lacking.

I don't THINK it's FACT. It's all filth. Have one boyfriend or husband, wife or girlfriend, have mind blowing crazy monkey sex with them and like it. Jeez people need to fix up.

Two is much better then one.

Imagine that mind blowing crazy monkey sex.

Use google if you need help.

rockerbabyy

oh yay! a second thread

:drinker:
I would typically enjoy spectator sports with a cool alcoholic bevie and possibly an artichoke dip platter. Too bad I'm on a diet.

ooh man, now im craving my jalapeno artichoke dip lol thanks ;p
@seattlerain - its no use trying to reason with her. she was the same way in the Friend with Benefits thread. basically called us all immoral *kitten* and told us to keep our legs closed

Symphony6

ooh man, now im craving my jalapeno artichoke dip lol thanks ;p
@seattlerain - its no use trying to reason with her. she was the same way in the Friend with Benefits thread. basically called us all immoral *kitten* and told us to keep our legs closed

I take exception to the '*kitten*' comment. I do not charge. :still looking for the 'dumb' smiley:

rockerbabyy

ooh man, now im craving my jalapeno artichoke dip lol thanks ;p
@seattlerain - its no use trying to reason with her. she was the same way in the Friend with Benefits thread. basically called us all immoral *kitten* and told us to keep our legs closed

I take exception to the '*kitten*' comment. I do not charge. :still looking for the 'dumb' smiley:

i know right?! :grumble:

Avalonis

Ahhh, can ya smell the predisposed religious notions of morality?

Smells like... prude.

HonkyTonks

An open marriage means the two involved really aren't committed to each other.

Binary thinking. Why can't I be deeply committed to more than one person? That's like saying I can only love one of my kids.

I love that term 'binary thinking' - I've seen a lot of that in this thread. I am guessing some people just cannot come to grips with the idea that you can love someone and still sleep with another person, or even love more than one person at the same time. I get that but I think that even if you don't understand it, you should just accept that not everybody thinks and feels exactly the same as you do. I accept my choice of lifestyle is not suited to everybody.

I am in a committed relationship with someone who is perfect for me emotionally, intellectually. We have a child together, we live together and we are happy. We have an open relationship because we enjoy it and it suits our sexuality. We still enjoy sex with each other as well.

We have some rules though: no good friends, no work colleagues, no exes, openness and honesty at all times

This eliminates the risk of things getting awkward or weird. Though, we are completely secure with our relationship so I do not feel threatened by others and nor does he. I think it has something to do with how honest we are with one another and how well we know each other.