Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

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  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Monogamy is not for some people. Many actually if you want to think about divorce rates, the number of men and women who cheat, the fact that it's considered more acceptable in Europe and Latin America..

    Dan Savage (a brilliant man) has coined a wonderful term. Monogamish.

    Most important, does anyone want to be judged on their bedroom activities? I don't think so.
  • NightOwl1
    NightOwl1 Posts: 881 Member
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    I actually know people in an open marriage and they are extremely happy in it. It's something they both wanted and their relationship is as strong as that of anyone I know.

    It's not something I could see myself ever doing, and I don't think it's for most people. But to those who enjoy it, good for them.
  • dyannajoy
    dyannajoy Posts: 466 Member
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    The couple featured today have an open marriage. Both have $ex with other people. The husband's mistresse's husband approves of this as well.

    What do you think, could it work. Is this the way to keep everyone happy in a marriage so to speak?

    Oh and they have rules, no $ex in the marital bed, only on a blow up mattress. And condoms are not required, WTF :noway:

    I guess if you have no ability to connect on a soul level.........this might be possible.........but how very sad........
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Most important, does anyone want to be judged on their bedroom activities?


    Depends on the scale and competition.
  • CiaraH18
    CiaraH18 Posts: 16 Member
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    Depending on the people it could work! You can't be cheated on if you allow it in the relationship! But NO! There would be condoms! That's not cool!
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    I didn't see the episode but if everyone is in agreement and happy, who am I to judge them? That being said, it would never work in my marriage. I'm way territorial and jealous when it comes to my husband :laugh: The no condom thing does bug though...
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,044 Member
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    It's all about communication and trust. While it's obviously not for everyone, it does work for more couples than you think. It doesn't mean that you're any less committed to your spouse, or any less in love ... it is simply a way to satisfy the needs of the parties involved ... needs that are not always sexual, believe it or not. To each his own ... but the no condoms thing ... BIG mistake.
  • AEB_WV
    AEB_WV Posts: 323 Member
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    Gross - the no condom part.
  • Anderia
    Anderia Posts: 753 Member
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    It's all about communication and trust. While it's obviously not for everyone, it does work for more couples than you think. It doesn't mean that you're any less committed to your spouse, or any less in love ... it is simply a way to satisfy the needs of the parties involved ... needs that are not always sexual, believe it or not. To each his own ... but the no condoms thing ... BIG mistake.


    ^^^^THIS^^^
  • shellicious777
    shellicious777 Posts: 48 Member
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    We all make our way through life as best we can. If everyone is on board, I fail to see the problem.
    What's right for some may not be for others, but that doesn't make it wrong.


    I saw this and didn't feel the need to read any further. You said it so well!!
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I honestly don't care what people do in their own home. If two people want to be together and bang others and it's ok with them, all the power to them.
  • fitnessyeoja
    fitnessyeoja Posts: 357 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    ^^^^^^^^^^ this
  • evansproudmama
    evansproudmama Posts: 496
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..
  • messyinthekitchen
    messyinthekitchen Posts: 662 Member
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    I could never. And I don't believe it is real love. But they do and they are happy so I don't see a problem. It's just not my cup of tea.
  • gordonfitch
    gordonfitch Posts: 22 Member
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    Sometime things are wrong.

    Just because other people are okay with it doesn't make it right.

    Here's the deal, when you make marriage vows you basically promise to do life together, be a team, to be faithful to each other for life, richer and poorer/ sickness and health etc.

    That's what marriage is.

    Living in an 'open marriage' is a legitimate lifestyle, it's just not a marriage. And if you want to live that way, just don't take the vows.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I guess if you have no ability to connect on a soul level.........this might be possible.........but how very sad........

    And some people would say that having vanilla sex with the same person for your whole life is sad, boring and pathetic. I bet you wouldn't feel very good if you heard someone say that about your relationship.
  • Lindz2323
    Lindz2323 Posts: 261 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..

    I agree!
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..

    That is what marriage means to YOU. I might not agree with the lifestyles of others, but it doesn't mean their lifestyle is wrong.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    Open or not, there are always rules on how you relate to each other ergo - relationship. It's when you step out of the rules or expectations of that relationship that causes problems. Example - in monogamy, if you kiss someone else = cheating. In the example given - sex in the marrital bed = cheating.

    How to keep everyone 'happy'; that's a totally different topic because, well, you can't. Each person is really - truly ever responsible for their own happiness. Your life is about you, my life is about me. I react to you, you react to me. HOW we choose to react, well, there's the key.

    Yes, I do understand that my actions may directly impact someone else and thus cause positive or negative emotions. But your response may be different than someone else's. I can slap one friend in the butt and get a 'how you doin?' and do the exact same thing to another and get a slap in the face.

    Open marriages, just like monogamy, are not for everyone.

    Well said, sir.
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
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    If everyone involved is a consenting adult, it's nobody else's business. I've had friends who successfully pursued this lifestyle.

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