Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

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  • jcorey62
    jcorey62 Posts: 3 Member
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    The problem I see with the people on this show is they bring the "partners" into their homes and the kids are exposed to their lifestyle. I think what you do behind closed doors is your business, but don't bring your partners into the home to interact with your children. One lady on the show has her husband call her partner when he goes out of town, so the partner can be the surrogate father and husband, while he is away. That is plain crazy..
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I don't watch Dr. Phil, though I suspect if they got on the show they have far deeper issues than an open marriage.

    As others have said, open marriages are far more common than you may think. Most couples are very discreet about it, both because well, it's none of your business, but also to avoid some of the snap judgements I've seen here. Every couple has boundaries. Some boundaries just encompass more than others. It has NOTHING to do with a lack of love, commitment, or perceived morals.

    Well said
  • zeikiya989
    zeikiya989 Posts: 80
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    To each is own, but for me I don't think so would never share my man. Main reason to me is there are just two many diseases, just can't share my body with someone who's sharing there body with who knows who just ew nasty . Also whats the point of being married? Not sure about the religious stuff, but isn't that the sin of adultery or fornication, if your have a religious ceremony with vows from the bible?
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Having been adamantly against it most of my life, I had a change of heart this year.

    I wouldn't mind a relationship with a guy and another girl, so long as all three of us are attracted to each other (actually, I might prefer it). Sure, it could have it's problems -- but so can any relationship.

    Open marriage, however, will probably never float my boat.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I could never ever ever. But if it get are happy, good On them, it's better then divorce.

    I have no desire to do that either. I don't see how it's better to have an open marriage than to divorce, though.
  • SusanRenee35
    SusanRenee35 Posts: 182 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    For the tax break???



    Now what fish bowl do I put my keys in again?:wink:
  • SusanRenee35
    SusanRenee35 Posts: 182 Member
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    your naughty!
  • SalishSea
    SalishSea Posts: 373 Member
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    Would not work for me. But if grown adults want to have that kind of marriage I have no problem with that. Adults ought to be free to do whatever they want with their intimate lives.

    As long as children are left OUT of the situation. Watching P0rn with an 11 year old is child abuse and this should be reported. I think I will send a message to California Social Services and rightly report this. Even though it was on National TV, I can't be sure protective services are aware of this. We ALL have a responsibility to protect children.
  • camelotss
    camelotss Posts: 55
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    I watched the show. To each their own but I thought they shared too much information with their kids. Totally agreed with Dr. Phil saying children shouldn't have to deal with adult issues.
  • Still_Fluffy
    Still_Fluffy Posts: 341 Member
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    That’s not a marriage then. Marriage is about promising yourself to another person for the rest of your life. If they want o have sex with other people then don't get married, live together and do what you want with others. Marriage is about commitment and sacrifice.
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
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    Most important, does anyone want to be judged on their bedroom activities?


    Depends on the scale and competition.

    And the prizes involved...
  • ShmoozyQ
    ShmoozyQ Posts: 390 Member
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    I don't have any issue with the concept of open marriage. Not for me, but it doesn't offend me. Not using condoms with multiple partners is pretty sketchy though, married or not.
  • nwhitley
    nwhitley Posts: 619
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    This show was just too much today. I didn't really care about the adults b/c if that's what they want to do, then more power to them. However, the second couple who involved their children in that mess was just too much. They obviously were sick and had some serious issues to involve their children in their marital business. Who watches porn with an 11yr. old? That is a situation where the authorities need to investigate what is going on in that house. Just too outrageous!!
  • Phoenix59
    Phoenix59 Posts: 364 Member
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    First of all, I think the marriage is defined by the individuals in it, not by what anyone else thinks it should be. Just because a couple is in an open marriage doesn't mean they are not as committed to each other as a monogamous couple. What goes on between a couple is their business, not mine. I do believe, however, that children should not be exposed to adult issues.

    As for what the Bible says, I know it speaks of adultery, but is it considered adultery if all parties are aware of what's going on? I mean, in Biblical times, men had more than one wife. Of course, since the Bible really doesn't speak too much about women, I don't know if women had more than one husband. Anyway, it would seem to me that it's only cheating if your spouse is unaware of what is going on.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    I don't watch Dr. Phil, though I suspect if they got on the show they have far deeper issues than an open marriage.

    As others have said, open marriages are far more common than you may think. Most couples are very discreet about it, both because well, it's none of your business, but also to avoid some of the snap judgements I've seen here. Every couple has boundaries. Some boundaries just encompass more than others. It has NOTHING to do with a lack of love, commitment, or perceived morals.

    Well said

    Thanks :heart:
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,845 Member
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    OP--I haven't read the replies as I didn't wish to get sidetracked...I know a couple who have been married 40+ yrs...Open marriage..with boths consent...lovers always know about spouse..and if lover is married their spouse must approve too. This couple has multiple children...are they all biologically his? I suspect not. Both agreed that all children she bore would be their children. I've never met a happier couple and they so obviously love each other that I can't condemn them for it.

    What about the kids? All heathy, happy and well adjusted. All adults now.

    This doesn't work for everyone...doubt I could have did it. I didn't share well..too jealous.. If it's mine I don't share,,If it's not mine I don't want it.

    But to each his own...When between consenting adults...it's simply not my business.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
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    There is a huge difference love and wanting to have sex with someone. People sometimes cannot separate these things. It's entirely possible, if not normal, to find someone that you completely connect with on every level. Physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. etc. This is the person you get together with, who you marry and have a life with. But that doesn't mean you don't ever feel sexually attracted to others. This is where the open relationship comes in, if you and your partner want to experiment with sleeping with others that doesn't mean you love each other any less, it just means you're human. It's not for everybody, but do not judge it because you don't understand it.
  • SusanRenee35
    SusanRenee35 Posts: 182 Member
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    I agree with Phoenix..marriage traditionally, is what most of you on here are saying but I think in todays day & age it is whatever two people want it to be. It is different for everyone.
    It is also true that just because they are open enough to admit feelings that most people do feel but don't feel safe enough with their spouse to be open about it doesnt mean their love is any less or not on a soul level.
    It is also def true that both parties have to be on the same page. It is risky dabbling in it mostly because when you are playing around with other people, feelings get involved.
    No one really has the right to put down any other person's lifestyle or their beliefs on what they feel marriage is....jmo :smile:
  • SusanRenee35
    SusanRenee35 Posts: 182 Member
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    I guess if you have no ability to connect on a soul level.........this might be possible.........but how very sad........

    And some people would say that having vanilla sex with the same person for your whole life is sad, boring and pathetic. I bet you wouldn't feel very good if you heard someone say that about your relationship.

    It's true, no one should judge. The 11yr old though is far too young to be viewing things of that nature. His childhod is being stolen in my opinion, thats what is the saddest here :cry:
  • Ginger4real
    Ginger4real Posts: 162
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..

    I agree!

    Meh ..some people are not looking at their mate as their property ..some are not at all territorial ..some may even say that LOVING someone enough to accept their wants and needs.. is real love ..unconditional even ! I think it's as simple as being open, honest, and real about your thoughts and cravings/temptations. Allowing your partner to say what they really think with out any judgement..if you can handle it ~ok~ if not tell them so and prepare to eventually part ways. I think if they are really into having an open relationship and you deny it because you don't want it.. And because your beliefs are set..so it's no for them..they end up cheating and lying because they can't come to you with their fantasies and inner most thoughts and cravings for the bedroom. I think I could do it . I offered it to my Husband (at the time b/f) to bring a girl in and try something ..I was a teen and had friends experimenting...anyway ..I offered he said NO! Basically he got kinda upset and said that he was greedy and didn't want to share me ...I explained that I wouldnt be shared I would just be there and he would have all the fun ...still a solid NO ..so that was that! I am not jealous or insecure in the bedroom dpt..I find it cute..maybe even exciting when women flirt with him. To each their own I guess.

    I should add..."going out and porking someone then coming home to me" ...To me ~~that is not the same as talking and deciding together...that would be random cheating..not communicating a desire.

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