Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

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  • Ginger4real
    Ginger4real Posts: 162
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    Why bother to get married then?

    For the tax break???



    Now what fish bowl do I put my keys in again?:wink:

    Tax break ??? Geee I think divorce is the only way to get one of those!
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    For the tax break???



    Now what fish bowl do I put my keys in again?:wink:
    Came here to say this...

    LMAO at the car keys
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    I had an open marriage...pity my husband forgot to inform me of it!
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    I had an open marriage...pity my husband forgot to inform me of it!
    Communication is so important...plus you obviously didn't read the fine print on the marriage license. Caveat emptor.
  • ojell
    ojell Posts: 749 Member
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    I saw it. That woman is sooo "happy". hehe Man, I wish I loved sex as much as she does. Lol

    Honestly, I've known some people who have done the whole open marriage, swinging, 3somes, etc. Whatever floats their boat. BUT...I will say that in each of those cases, there came a point where one wanted to stop and/or they fell for the outsider, and things fell apart. So obviously there are some emotional risks to seriously consider among other things. Again I say to each their own. I didn't watch the whole show because I dosed off, but I did catch the part where they apparently were telling their kids EVERYTHING about the whole situation. The whole thing was very controversial...I'm not gonna judge not only because I feel it's not my place, but also because I really don't know enough about the WHOLE situation to really get a true feel for what I think about it. All I really gathered in the short period of time that I watched it was that that woman was super "happy". LOL I want some of THAT! ;)
  • ojell
    ojell Posts: 749 Member
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    I had an open marriage...pity my husband forgot to inform me of it!

    ME TOO! Guess I missed the fine print as well. I was so focused on NOT adding the "obey" part that I think I overlooked the rest. Damn!
  • phil6707
    phil6707 Posts: 541 Member
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    very well said!!
  • BritFitB
    BritFitB Posts: 106 Member
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    I know absolutely nothing about married life, all I know is that the recent divorce rates goes to show that there is something seriously wrong here. I used to believe in the traditional laws of marriage, however as of recently changed my mind and am for anything that proves to be a healthy negotiation between two people. I find it incredibly disheartening that so many people do get divorced, and it has definitely changed my views for myself- that marriage is really not on the table for in my future.
  • maria1113
    maria1113 Posts: 508 Member
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    Monogamy is not for some people. Many actually if you want to think about divorce rates, the number of men and women who cheat, the fact that it's considered more acceptable in Europe and Latin America..

    Greetings from Europe ;) Up in Northern Europe we are old fashioned in this department, so I would like to point that it's more acceptable in PARTS of Europe. There are so many different countries here that we can't be labeled as one :smile:
  • Lotte34
    Lotte34 Posts: 429 Member
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    You hear of so many relationships failing because the first partner or the second couldn't keep their hands off a third person. I see nothing wrong with a group of, consenting, adults haveing a little something on the side provided the wife/husband is aware of it and gets the same liberties.

    I think it could stop a lot of break ups/devorces. As long as it was based on the idea (from a womans point of view) that you knew he was going to come back to your bed a the end of the day
  • 967_1111
    967_1111 Posts: 221 Member
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    Part of what I hold precious in my marriage is the intimacy of only being with my wife, and knowing that she has only been with me. Inviting others into that would, in my opinion, weaken the bond that we have.

    I think an open marriage is a sign of something missing in the marriage. I hope they find what they think they are looking for.
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
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    If it works for other people, fantastic, but it's not for me.

    Being in love, I don't WANT to sleep with anyone else. I don't see how you could love someone and NOT want them to be your only sexual partner.

    I'm aware I might be way off track, though. I'm always shocked when people get back with a cheater. I know the argument is "they probably realised the error of their ways and won't do it again". To me, it shows they never really loved the person they're with in the first place.

    I also know of a woman who married once, had an affair that everyone knew about, but would have her husband and the person she was having an affair with in the same house at the same time as friends. Eventually, she broke off the marriage and made the affair into a relationship, selling her house and buying a new one with her new partner. THEN, she was openly flirting with a huge number of people before she started ANOTHER affair which carried on for months. When this became public and she broke off the second relationship for the third person, everyone was shocked, I don't understand how other didn't see that it's just who she is - how could anyone get into a relationship with her thinking it was going to last? Now, she's sold the house she had with partner two and is in the process of buying one with partner three. Again, everyone thinks it's going to last...
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
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    I think I would be fine with an open marriage until the first time he is out with someone else and I am home bored.... then all hell would break loose and I would go back on my "good for the goose, good for the gander" promise LOL

    If I was sitting home on a Sunday night, family night, watching TV while he was out somewhere else, it would drive me batty... unless of course I had someone else to talk or text with....

    See because I am so wishy washy on it, it's better if we just keep our pants on around others and stay in a normal marriage,
    I would be fine with the rules until it was my turn to sit home.....

    haha
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    I wish people would not attach religious beliefs to marriage, it existed a long time before any religious connotations existed, often this involved group marriage.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    Open marriage to me is just an auto-antonym = it's pretty much the opposite of marriage by my definition. You are letting other people into the relationship and a marriage is between two people, not 4,6,8,10 +

    Marriage is the commitment between two people - to love, honor, and respect each other forsaking all others and this includes sexual intimacy. Sex is intimate. I'm not going to share my body with anyone outside my marriage. If I want to "spice things up" sexually - I will spice it up with my husband. My husband is of the exact same mindset - otherwise we wouldn't be married. We share with each other things we share with no one else and that includes our bodies. I'm not interested in a cheap thrill.

    If I never found someone I was willing to be with for the rest of my life - and ONLY be with them, I wouldn't get married.
    If a man told me they wanted to sleep with other women to be happy I wouldn't marry them.
    If I myself couldn't be sexually satisfied by one man, I wouldn't marry.

    It is my opinion that open marriage is simply a term for complete selfish fleeting self gratification. To consent doing it without protection is premeditated disgusting behavior. I find it all just an excuse to give in to every self gratifying sexual urge that comes your way.

    I also don't get the "not in our marriage bed" thing. Sort of hypocritical if your idea of marriage isn't fidelity when it comes to bedding people. Really - someone else can ravage your naked body and it's AOK so long as it's in a different bed? What's the difference? The location being more important than the act is just ridiculous.

    Some people just shouldn't get married. Some just aren't the type,
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Humans by nature are not monogamous. So, I can completely see how this would work, with strict rules and such. For me though, it would never work. I am much too jealous.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    To each their own, I am not one to judge. However, having said that it is not for me. I couldn't love someone and not only want to be with them no matter what.
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    what ever gets them off..but what i didnt agree with is the fact that they didnt keep it in the bedroom...the mother in law knew all about it and the 11 and 13 yr old kid knew all about it...the mom watched porn with her 11 yr old daughter!!!! can you say 16 and pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    I don't watch Dr. Phil, though I suspect if they got on the show they have far deeper issues than an open marriage.

    As others have said, open marriages are far more common than you may think. Most couples are very discreet about it, both because well, it's none of your business, but also to avoid some of the snap judgements I've seen here. Every couple has boundaries. Some boundaries just encompass more than others. It has NOTHING to do with a lack of love, commitment, or perceived morals.

    Well said

    Thanks :heart:

    I think this needs to be said again, also in many cultures group marriage still exists even if the it has become illegal in the country it's self. Take India for instance it is illegal for the wife to have more than one husband and the husband to have more than one wife, but it still happens. In the middle east where it is allowed to have up to 4 wives at time, and being raised there I had friends who lived like this in their homes a very happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
    Personally I am a very selfish and jealous lover, he is mine and mine alone I will not share, but to cast such judgment on people for creating a healthy environment to which they may find happiness is wrong even if we may not understand it or accept it for ourselves. :flowerforyou:
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,303 Member
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    what ever gets them off..but what i didnt agree with is the fact that they didnt keep it in the bedroom...the mother in law knew all about it and the 11 and 13 yr old kid knew all about it...the mom watched porn with her 11 yr old daughter!!!! can you say 16 and pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?

    I didn't watch the show but I imagine Dr. Phil gave her an earful for the porn thing. :sick:

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