Relationship Question?? Cheating.

Aireyma

I've cheated in relationships before.... when I was young and could care less. I've never cheated on my current boyfriend bc he's everything I want and love.

Cheating is anything you wouldn't tell your "other."

Heaven71

If you wouldn;t be comfortable doing it in front of me.... it's cheating.

TeutonicKnight

Cheating is when you sneak around or do something with another person your partner doesn't know about and/or wouldn't like. If you can't do it with them looking over your shoulder, its probably cheating!

So if I sneak a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos into a closet so my spouse cannot see, am I cheating? Damnit! I am aren't I?! What if I was still under my daily calorie intake? What if I logged my Cool Ranch Doritos snack attack under her food log? THAT IS CHEATING!

MissAlexxMarie

Cheating is when you sneak around or do something with another person your partner doesn't know about and/or wouldn't like. If you can't do it with them looking over your shoulder, its probably cheating!

So if I sneak a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos into a closet so my spouse cannot see, am I cheating? Damnit! I am aren't I?! What if I was still under my daily calorie intake? What if I logged my Cool Ranch Doritos snack attack under her food log? THAT IS CHEATING!

It's cheating on your diet mister lol

tashjs21

Oh I had a thought about the flirting thing..there should be an ammendment to that.

I flirt and my fiance flirts (innocently). We usually tell each other about it because it is a bit of an ego boost and it is healthy to let the other person know that someone still finds you attractive and desirable.

However, I wouldn't openly flirt in front of him because that would be awkward and I wouldn't want him to either. Doesn't meant that flirting away from each other is wrong it just means I don't want to see it. :happy:

Now if it started to enter the "I want to do you" realm of flirting...then that is wrong.

amymeenieminymo

My definition of cheating is basically anything you wouldn't do/say in front of your spouse/SO and/or something you cannot tell them.

I have never cheated but I have been cheated on. Forgiveness is such a gray area so you really cannot say when you would forgive someone and when you wouldn't, it depends on a lot of factors. How long was it going on, how did it begin (did it start out innocent and snowballed or was said cheater out trolling bars for someone to cheat with?), who they cheated with (I don't think I could forgive if it was a good friend or relative), did they come clean or get caught, what kind of relationship did you have to begin with (have you been married for 20 years or have you been together for two months?).

christibam

What in the f**kin world?!! I would not forgive a slip up? Who teaches these women it's ok to cheat and it's ok to forgive! If you accept for someone to cheat on you with somebody that was "attractive" what kind of standards to you set for yourself? Why in the hell would you forgive them? why not find somebody that won't do it to you? And the fact that you would say that to someone you dated for so long is pathetic. Doesn't make you awesome-sauce! Just saying! Grow up!!

This is why you're awesome.

See, I can see staying with someone you are legally married to if something happens. Marriage is something that involves more dedication and practice instead of just love. Granted, it still should NEVER be acceptable. If it's an ongoing thing, work to find out why the person feels the need to cheat. If they are not willing to correct the issue, let them go because obviously they are not and will not be happy in the relationship.

If it's a bf/gf... kick that slutbag to the curb.

tashjs21

Cheating is when you sneak around or do something with another person your partner doesn't know about and/or wouldn't like. If you can't do it with them looking over your shoulder, its probably cheating!

So if I sneak a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos into a closet so my spouse cannot see, am I cheating? Damnit! I am aren't I?! What if I was still under my daily calorie intake? What if I logged my Cool Ranch Doritos snack attack under her food log? THAT IS CHEATING!

You are only cheating yourself. :flowerforyou:

and her cause you just cheated her out of some calories on her food log.

:laugh:

Miss♥Ivi

I'd much rather a drunken one-night-stand than a long term affair for example.

This. I'm quicker to forgive a slip up like this than an ongoing emotional relationship. Because it's one thing to say he fell to temptation and another to say he fell in love.

I've cheated and been cheated on. When I found out I was being cheated on, I wasn't angry or hurt or anything. Loved him to pieces but people have the right to fall out of love with their SO's. It happens. Who am I to make them stay and work on something that no longer exists? So we broke up and he got with the other girl. Now they're happily married and have a 3 month old We weren't for each other. No sappy ending, no crying, no guilt.

When I cheated, I flat out told my ex of four and a half years, "Hey, you're not making the cut. We can either pretend I'm not cheating on you OR you can pack up your things and go. It's not working, hasn't been for years and I'm sick of trying. Now hurry up because I have a date in about 3 hours."

Life is too short to waste it with someone that isn't right for you. And that goes both ways.

What in the f**kin world?!! I would not forgive a slip up? Who teaches these women it's ok to cheat and it's ok to forgive! If you accept for someone to cheat on you with somebody that was "attractive" what kind of standards to you set for yourself? Why in the hell would you forgive them? why not find somebody that won't do it to you? And the fact that you would say that to someone you dated for so long is pathetic. Doesn't make you awesome-sauce! Just saying! Grow up!!

Whoa slow down Rocky. There will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. Whether or not you forgive a slip up, is your problem. And since you obviously have no idea WHY I would blatantly tell someone what I told my ex of that long, I'll let you know why. Because for two WHOLE years of that four year relationship, I was trying to FIX our relationship and he wouldn't budge. No "growing up" needed. I did my growing up when I realized I was wasting away in a relationship he didn't even want to fix. And I had had enough. So get off your high horse and before you go off "attacking" someone on the net for a post they made, try to get the facts straight. Just saying!

And it wasn't a marriage. He was a live in boyfriend.

MissAlexxMarie

What in the f**kin world?!! I would not forgive a slip up? Who teaches these women it's ok to cheat and it's ok to forgive! If you accept for someone to cheat on you with somebody that was "attractive" what kind of standards to you set for yourself? Why in the hell would you forgive them? why not find somebody that won't do it to you? And the fact that you would say that to someone you dated for so long is pathetic. Doesn't make you awesome-sauce! Just saying! Grow up!!

This is why you're awesome.

See, I can see staying with someone you are legally married to if something happens. Marriage is something that involves more dedication and practice instead of just love. Granted, it still should NEVER be acceptable. If it's an ongoing thing, work to find out why the person feels the need to cheat. If they are not willing to correct the issue, let them go because obviously they are not and will not be happy in the relationship.

If it's a bf/gf... kick that slutbag to the curb.

Exactly, marriage is a vow and it's something you constantly work at..not a relationship you can just let go of so easily. You start a life with somebody but it's also the reason that you don't do anything wrong and that you try your hardest not to ever slip up because you obviously love that person right....why waste so many years if you're just going to cheat and fall out of love. Pointless!

Exactly! :kickinthehead: for the slutbag!

You tell em hahah!

MissAlexxMarie

I'd much rather a drunken one-night-stand than a long term affair for example.

This. I'm quicker to forgive a slip up like this than an ongoing emotional relationship. Because it's one thing to say he fell to temptation and another to say he fell in love.

I've cheated and been cheated on. When I found out I was being cheated on, I wasn't angry or hurt or anything. Loved him to pieces but people have the right to fall out of love with their SO's. It happens. Who am I to make them stay and work on something that no longer exists? So we broke up and he got with the other girl. Now they're happily married and have a 3 month old We weren't for each other. No sappy ending, no crying, no guilt.

When I cheated, I flat out told my ex of four and a half years, "Hey, you're not making the cut. We can either pretend I'm not cheating on you OR you can pack up your things and go. It's not working, hasn't been for years and I'm sick of trying. Now hurry up because I have a date in about 3 hours."

Life is too short to waste it with someone that isn't right for you. And that goes both ways.

What in the f**kin world?!! I would not forgive a slip up? Who teaches these women it's ok to cheat and it's ok to forgive! If you accept for someone to cheat on you with somebody that was "attractive" what kind of standards to you set for yourself? Why in the hell would you forgive them? why not find somebody that won't do it to you? And the fact that you would say that to someone you dated for so long is pathetic. Doesn't make you awesome-sauce! Just saying! Grow up!!

Whoa slow down Rocky. There will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. Whether or not you forgive a slip up, is your problem. And since you obviously have no idea WHY I would blatantly tell someone what I told my ex of that long, I'll let you know why. Because for two WHOLE years of that four year relationship, I was trying to FIX our relationship and he wouldn't budge. No "growing up" needed. I did my growing up when I realized I was wasting away in a relationship he didn't even want to fix. And I had had enough. So get off your high horse and before you go off "attacking" someone on the net for a post they made, try to get the facts straight. Just saying!

Whoa I don't care about your facts hun! I stated my opinion..and you just look like a horrible person! Just saying! Go cheat all you want but obviously you can't be too classy if you can't let the person go before cheating. Break up then do whatever you please! And ok you had enough so LEAVEEEEEEEE!!! Why cheat and make the person feel like crap? Yes, growing up needed Bye bye !

TeutonicKnight

What if I go to a strip club for my best friend's bachelor party and tell my wife we played SCRABBLE and drank grape juice? Is that cheating.

I will not get a lap dance, couch dance, or even a pole dance. All I get was glitter on my clothes.

I need a ruling here.

JPLYLER09

i agree with the above posters. Anything you wouldnt do/say in front of your significant other is considered cheating. whether it be physical or on an emotional level. a lot of people dont understand that cheating doesnt have to be sex.

I agree!

christibam

Whoa slow down Rocky. There will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. Whether or not you forgive a slip up, is your problem. And since you obviously have no idea WHY I would blatantly tell someone what I told my ex of that long, I'll let you know why. Because for two WHOLE years of that four year relationship, I was trying to FIX our relationship and he wouldn't budge. No "growing up" needed. I did my growing up when I realized I was wasting away in a relationship he didn't even want to fix. And I had had enough. So get off your high horse and before you go off "attacking" someone on the net for a post they made, try to get the facts straight. Just saying!

And it wasn't a marriage. He was a live in boyfriend.

Slow down, White Bread! Sure, there will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. However, you ****ed up and you did it BIG. What's wrong with leaving the person you're unhappy with BEFORE you skank around with someone else?

Obviously you weren't trying to fix it when you didn't even have the decency to let homedude know you had given up as well. Now you're trying to validate that by saying you were unhappy. Boo hoo.

MUByM

Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.

I completely agree.

MissAlexxMarie

Whoa slow down Rocky. There will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. Whether or not you forgive a slip up, is your problem. And since you obviously have no idea WHY I would blatantly tell someone what I told my ex of that long, I'll let you know why. Because for two WHOLE years of that four year relationship, I was trying to FIX our relationship and he wouldn't budge. No "growing up" needed. I did my growing up when I realized I was wasting away in a relationship he didn't even want to fix. And I had had enough. So get off your high horse and before you go off "attacking" someone on the net for a post they made, try to get the facts straight. Just saying!

And it wasn't a marriage. He was a live in boyfriend.

Slow down, White Bread! Sure, there will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. However, you ****ed up and you did it BIG. What's wrong with leaving the person you're unhappy with BEFORE you skank around with someone else?

Obviously you weren't trying to fix it when you didn't even have the decency to let homedude know you had given up as well. Now you're trying to validate that by saying you were unhappy. Boo hoo.

Lmfao this is why you crack me up! I'm trying to tell her...leave lady why stomp something to pieces if it's already falling apart on its own...I will never understand! Well I guess we're happy with our men at least...hahah! I L O V E the fact that she said he was a live in boyfriend and not a husband so it's ok. Why even move in with somebody if that's not the person you wanted to marry? help me understand pleaseeee!!

christibam

What if I go to a strip club for my best friend's bachelor party and tell my wife we played SCRABBLE and drank grape juice? Is that cheating.

I will not get a lap dance, couch dance, or even a pole dance. All I get was glitter on my clothes.

I need a ruling here.

Not cheating but pretty dishonest. Here's what you do as your preemptive strike on her counter attack:

Step 1: Buy a stuffed bird.
Step 2: Buy a wig.
Step 3. Glue the two together.
Step R. Stick it to her head while she's asleep.
Step 4. Tell her what you did the moment she wakes up.
Step 5. Show her this picture.



Anything else she says after that point does not matter. Therefor, the one person that who's opinion matters in the ruling, is invalid.

Logic = infallible

AlayshaJ

I don't believe in the whole "If your spouse was there, yada, yada, yada." I just think that is BS. I wouldn't lightly flirt with a man in front of my husband, and he would lightly flirt with a woman in front of me, but we do flirt with other people when we aren't around each other. I wouldn't tell my male friend "Oh hey, you look really hot today!" in front of my husband, but I would if he wasn't there. He does the same things. If it goes past flirting - thats cheating. Saying "You look really sexy today, I love how I can see the curve of your *kitten* in that dress." Is VERY inappropriate and I would consider it cheating. If he in fact, said that to someone I would take it as him wanting to touch her. Thinking about sexually touching someone and expressing it to said person, is cheating IMO. Flirting it fine. Its just respectful not to do it in front of your partner.

*Edit

Someone was saying something about strip clubs. My husband told me I can't be a waitress at a strips club, work at hooters or any other establishment that the women are dressed in short shorts or have their stomachs showing. Which I think is ridiculous. So, in turn, he can not go to those places. I just think its wrong of him to say I can't work there and have men look at me, but he can go there and be a man that looks at those women... I am a bit of a feminist, so it offends me to have double standards like that.

It would be all fine and dandy if he had not said that, I was not even talking about working at a place like that. He just brought it up. I really could have cared less if he went to those places but if there is a double standard put on me, I will put one on you too.

/end rant.

Miss♥Ivi

I'd much rather a drunken one-night-stand than a long term affair for example.

This. I'm quicker to forgive a slip up like this than an ongoing emotional relationship. Because it's one thing to say he fell to temptation and another to say he fell in love.

I've cheated and been cheated on. When I found out I was being cheated on, I wasn't angry or hurt or anything. Loved him to pieces but people have the right to fall out of love with their SO's. It happens. Who am I to make them stay and work on something that no longer exists? So we broke up and he got with the other girl. Now they're happily married and have a 3 month old We weren't for each other. No sappy ending, no crying, no guilt.

When I cheated, I flat out told my ex of four and a half years, "Hey, you're not making the cut. We can either pretend I'm not cheating on you OR you can pack up your things and go. It's not working, hasn't been for years and I'm sick of trying. Now hurry up because I have a date in about 3 hours."

Life is too short to waste it with someone that isn't right for you. And that goes both ways.

What in the f**kin world?!! I would not forgive a slip up? Who teaches these women it's ok to cheat and it's ok to forgive! If you accept for someone to cheat on you with somebody that was "attractive" what kind of standards to you set for yourself? Why in the hell would you forgive them? why not find somebody that won't do it to you? And the fact that you would say that to someone you dated for so long is pathetic. Doesn't make you awesome-sauce! Just saying! Grow up!!

Whoa slow down Rocky. There will ALWAYS be different circumstances for different people. Whether or not you forgive a slip up, is your problem. And since you obviously have no idea WHY I would blatantly tell someone what I told my ex of that long, I'll let you know why. Because for two WHOLE years of that four year relationship, I was trying to FIX our relationship and he wouldn't budge. No "growing up" needed. I did my growing up when I realized I was wasting away in a relationship he didn't even want to fix. And I had had enough. So get off your high horse and before you go off "attacking" someone on the net for a post they made, try to get the facts straight. Just saying!

Whoa I don't care about your facts hun! I stated my opinion..and you just look like a horrible person! Just saying! Go cheat all you want but obviously you can't be too classy if you can't let the person go before cheating. Break up then do whatever you please! And ok you had enough so LEAVEEEEEEEE!!! Why cheat and make the person feel like crap? Yes, growing up needed Bye bye !

If you don't care about the "facts" which I wouldn't expect you to, then you obviously have no bases to judge. So I would expect you to keep your opinion to yourself because I, as an adult, wouldn't go off judging others by the very vague posts they've made on here. Surely, there are always many, many variables to a relationship. Those which you, in my particular case, aren't aware of. Like many other people on here, they posted what they had gone through in very little detail. I wouldn't expect them to throw out every bit of information. And because of that I am not going to assume the person is horrible because they cheated on their spouse. What if he was abusive? What if he was a drug addict? What if they tried to leave but couldn't? Did that ever cross your mind? I think you're the one that needs to do some growing up because clearly, you have this tunnel vision of how relationships work. I'm sorry if you feel offended by my post. But I do not regret posting it as I do not regret what happened.

NYCDutchess

It's quite obvious that the answer to this question is different to everyone.