Would you cheat?
Replies
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Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....
It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.
That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.
I agree with this.
Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.
Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....
Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.
Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?0 -
Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....
It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.
That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.
I agree with this.
Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.
Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....
Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.
Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?
Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.0 -
Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....
It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.
That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.
I agree with this.
Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.
Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....
Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.
Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?
Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.
Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.0 -
Nope.0
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LOL!0
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Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....
It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.
That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.
I agree with this.
Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.
Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....
Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.
Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?
Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.
Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.
You felt the need to demonstate a point that what I stated is just an opinion? I thought that was quite obvious.0 -
Personally, I think the answer to this question changes based on demographics.
I personally think it is wrong to condemn someone for not thinking there is anything wrong with stepping outside the marriage and voicing that opinion.
In the same token, I think others should have the right to say that they are against cheating - if that is their opinion.
If you worked in the field, you would note:
1) That although many women on here are commenting on all the men that have cheated - as many women (if not more) cheat. This is a fact. Women just do not come out and tell others, but it still does happen.
Is that right or wrong? Is that really for us to decide?
And if someone admits that yes, they might "cheat"........is it up to the people on MFP now to become moral police??0 -
Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....
It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.
That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.
I agree with this.
Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.
Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....
Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.
Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?
Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.
Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.
You felt the need to demonstate a point that what I stated is just an opinion? I thought that was quite obvious.
Your statement came across condescending. Just wanted to bring clarity to your statement for the OP sake since not everyone feels they same way you do on the subject.0 -
Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....
It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.
That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.
I agree with this.
Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.
Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....
Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.
Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?
Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.
Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.
You felt the need to demonstate a point that what I stated is just an opinion? I thought that was quite obvious.
Your statement came across condescending. Just wanted to bring clarity to your statement for the OP sake since not everyone feels they same way you do on the subject.
I'm just quoting to keep the over-quoting going.
>.<0 -
I was cheated on, because of what I looked like (at least thats what she said to me). I like to think there was much more than that. I believe that women (those who cheat), do it for many reasons than just the physical aspect. As much as it hurt, I would not do it. It hurts way too much. I am the kind of person that would like to see her put in her best effort to improve herself -for her- not for me. Not just physically, but the whole package. There is not such thing as the perfect mate or significant other or whatever you wanna call it. Dont worry so much about making him happy via appearances. If thats the case, then you're in trouble but the solution is not cheating.0
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Well said. Nice post.I was cheated on, because of what I looked like (at least thats what she said to me). I like to think there was much more than that. I believe that women (those who cheat), do it for many reasons than just the physical aspect. As much as it hurt, I would not do it. It hurts way too much. I am the kind of person that would like to see her put in her best effort to improve herself -for her- not for me. Not just physically, but the whole package. There is not such thing as the perfect mate or significant other or whatever you wanna call it. Dont worry so much about making him happy via appearances. If thats the case, then you're in trouble but the solution is not cheating.0 -
Nobody knows exactly what might happen in a given situation, even when one is not looking to cheat. A mood, a whim, a chemical change in the brain. Cheating benefits nobody, unless it is a hooker strung out on drugs, thus taking her off the street for a few minutes. An affair is a train wreck and there are no survivors - only the mangled and walking dead. Anguish and guilt are the result.
After all, lust and love are just chemical processes based on animal instincts. Hopefully, we walk on two, not four feet.0 -
Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.0
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Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.
The ACT of sex is not instinctive in humans? What?
50% of married couples can't keep their word and end up divorced. I have no reason to believe that people on MFP are any different than the people elsewhere. Seems like there are a lot of naive people here. Not to say everyone *would* cheat (I'm sure most wouldn't), but most people who are currently in a healthy relationship seem to be incapable of even understanding what its like being in an unhealthy relationship with their spouse.0 -
As one person said in the previous comments :
"Never say never because you do not know what is going to be around the corner"
Yes, that is true...
But I know myself enough not to hurt my fiance like that!0 -
Boyfriend of 17 years is a slim, fit, Depp lookalike, I'd be a bit silly to throw that way...0
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No way. I am so in love with my boyfriend it's not even funny. He has an amazing personality and he's hot, and fit. No wayyyy!0
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no0
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Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.
The ACT of sex is not instinctive in humans? What?
50% of married couples can't keep their word and end up divorced. I have no reason to believe that people on MFP are any different than the people elsewhere. Seems like there are a lot of naive people here. Not to say everyone *would* cheat (I'm sure most wouldn't), but most people who are currently in a healthy relationship seem to be incapable of even understanding what its like being in an unhealthy relationship with their spouse.
If it were instinctive, you literally wouldn't be able to control yourself. That's what instinctive means. I'm guessing that if you went into your bedroom right now and saw a really attractive person of the opposite sex lying on your bed naked, you could stop yourself from having sex with that person.
As I said, your DESIRE to have sex is instinctive; there's nothing you can do about it. You CAN control whether or not you act on it.
And nobody is saying that it isn't difficult to be in an unhealthy relationship, especially a marriage. There are few, if any, people in the world who can honestly say they've never even thought about what it would be like to be with someone else, even if their relationship IS healthy. But this notion that we can't stop ourselves from having sex with someone because of chemicals in our brain is just not true. It is, in fact, our ability to stop ourselves (i.e. control our behavior) that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.0 -
If you're willing to cheat on your partner for any reason, you need to reevaluate your relationship.0
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No, why ruin something emotional for something physical. You don't spend $100 for a chance to win $500
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Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.
The ACT of sex is not instinctive in humans? What?
50% of married couples can't keep their word and end up divorced. I have no reason to believe that people on MFP are any different than the people elsewhere. Seems like there are a lot of naive people here. Not to say everyone *would* cheat (I'm sure most wouldn't), but most people who are currently in a healthy relationship seem to be incapable of even understanding what its like being in an unhealthy relationship with their spouse.
If it were instinctive, you literally wouldn't be able to control yourself. That's what instinctive means. I'm guessing that if you went into your bedroom right now and saw a really attractive person of the opposite sex lying on your bed naked, you could stop yourself from having sex with that person.
As I said, your DESIRE to have sex is instinctive; there's nothing you can do about it. You CAN control whether or not you act on it.
And nobody is saying that it isn't difficult to be in an unhealthy relationship, especially a marriage. There are few, if any, people in the world who can honestly say they've never even thought about what it would be like to be with someone else, even if their relationship IS healthy. But this notion that we can't stop ourselves from having sex with someone because of chemicals in our brain is just not true. It is, in fact, our ability to stop ourselves (i.e. control our behavior) that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.
Well I disagree with your use of the word 'instinctive'. Maybe you are thinking 'impulsive'? You're going on a tangent that I really am not interested in discussing because its irrelevant to anything I'm saying.
Anyways I think most of the people who say "why cheat, just break up" are completely clueless. They can't fathom the idea of being in an un-fulfilling relationship and feeling stuck for a number of reasons. Probably because they are young and haven't had children, bought a house, worried about retirement and other finances, etc. Some people are literally tied to their spouse and separation will destroy them financially and even emotionally when the children get involved. Not to mention, they probably haven't had to deal with temptations from co-workers, etc. all while they are going through this. Now I'm sure people are thinking I'm in a bad marriage, but the truth is I'm not. However I know people who are and I am able to empathize with what they must be going through.
Bottom line, the Tiger Woods variety of cheating is not the only one out there.0 -
No, why ruin something emotional for something physical. You don't spend $100 for a chance to win $50
Very simply stated and right on target. Nice.
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Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.
The ACT of sex is not instinctive in humans? What?
50% of married couples can't keep their word and end up divorced. I have no reason to believe that people on MFP are any different than the people elsewhere. Seems like there are a lot of naive people here. Not to say everyone *would* cheat (I'm sure most wouldn't), but most people who are currently in a healthy relationship seem to be incapable of even understanding what its like being in an unhealthy relationship with their spouse.
If it were instinctive, you literally wouldn't be able to control yourself. That's what instinctive means. I'm guessing that if you went into your bedroom right now and saw a really attractive person of the opposite sex lying on your bed naked, you could stop yourself from having sex with that person.
As I said, your DESIRE to have sex is instinctive; there's nothing you can do about it. You CAN control whether or not you act on it.
And nobody is saying that it isn't difficult to be in an unhealthy relationship, especially a marriage. There are few, if any, people in the world who can honestly say they've never even thought about what it would be like to be with someone else, even if their relationship IS healthy. But this notion that we can't stop ourselves from having sex with someone because of chemicals in our brain is just not true. It is, in fact, our ability to stop ourselves (i.e. control our behavior) that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.
Well I disagree with your use of the word 'instinctive'. Maybe you are thinking 'impulsive'? You're going on a tangent that I really am not interested in discussing because its irrelevant to anything I'm saying.
Anyways I think most of the people who say "why cheat, just break up" are completely clueless. They can't fathom the idea of being in an un-fulfilling relationship and feeling stuck for a number of reasons. Probably because they are young and haven't had children, bought a house, worried about retirement and other finances, etc. Some people are literally tied to their spouse and separation will destroy them financially and even emotionally when the children get involved. Not to mention, they probably haven't had to deal with temptations from co-workers, etc. all while they are going through this. Now I'm sure people are thinking I'm in a bad marriage, but the truth is I'm not. However I know people who are and I am able to empathize with what they must be going through.
Bottom line, the Tiger Woods variety of cheating is not the only one out there.
I get this. I'm recently married for the first time and I'm 35. I can certainly see how marriage, house, kids really complicate things. I still maintain the "why cheat, break up" at this point... but I have no children, the house was mine before he arrived, etc. And I don't have the temptation of co-workers, as I work from home.
Someone who's been in the game for 15 yrs with kids... that can get sticky.0 -
wow just found this post and it hits home. i was with my ex wife for 6 years before we were married in 2009. I found out she had been cheating for over 6 months on me, could have been longer, she was very good at manipulating me. It was the final straw of our marriage. she had been in trouble with the law numerous times i had stood by her. I had suspected for about 2 months something was going on didnt know what for sure, but i finally found some things she could not lie her way out of. i confronted her and it was over according to her. I told her i could accept all the other things but cheating was not tolerable.
I think people forget how they make the other person feel when they do cheat espectially in a marriage. It makes the other person feel inferior, lost, and makes them question so much why they are such a terrible person, even though they are told not to do that. How a person that you told you loved everyday could knowingly cheat on you? When i took my vows of marriage i meant it. i was presented with situations and i resisted because i loved my ex wife. she obviously did not. They say cheating has nothing to do with love i disagree. I think if you dont love a person you can still care for them. I asked her the night of all this coming out if she cared for me, she said yes, i said why then did you not just tell me you didnt love me anymore before you went and found a new man? I did not get a response.
Ugh such a horrible thing to do to a person besides murder i cant imagine any other crime worse than adultry. You cant imagine the stupid things i felt through all of it, A person you loved completely and unconditionally 100% betrayed everything you felt. They take away your dreams of what matters in life a family, kids, grandkids, growing old with eachother and being there for the last breath your spouse takes.
Well since i have moved on gotten a divorce and am ready to start over with someone new lucky girl
and start all over(actually kinda excited)
Best advice to a person is, dont cheat, leave tell someone you dont love them anything but cheat. if you truly care anything for you bf/gf/wife/or husband dont ever ever do this no matter what they look like or how you feel.
thats my story and i'm sticking to it 0 -
If you're willing to cheat on your partner for any reason, you need to reevaluate your relationship.
Easier said that done. You can re-eval all you want.. but sometimes there is more at stake then just the marriage.
Obviously there is something wrong in your relationship if you can say "yes, I would cheat on my partner." That's what I'm getting at here.0 -
In all honesty it would depend who was offering...0
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If you're willing to cheat on your partner for any reason, you need to reevaluate your relationship.
Easier said that done. You can re-eval all you want.. but sometimes there is more at stake then just the marriage.
Obviously there is something wrong in your relationship if you can say "yes, I would cheat on my partner." That's what I'm getting at here.
I don't think its obvious that that is the case. But without knowing anything about this poster, I'd say he may be someone who understands that he's human and humans make mistakes in difficult situations. And relationships can be very difficult.0 -
wow just found this post and it hits home. i was with my ex wife for 6 years before we were married in 2009. I found out she had been cheating for over 6 months on me, could have been longer, she was very good at manipulating me. It was the final straw of our marriage. she had been in trouble with the law numerous times i had stood by her. I had suspected for about 2 months something was going on didnt know what for sure, but i finally found some things she could not lie her way out of. i confronted her and it was over according to her. I told her i could accept all the other things but cheating was not tolerable.
I think people forget how they make the other person feel when they do cheat espectially in a marriage. It makes the other person feel inferior, lost, and makes them question so much why they are such a terrible person, even though they are told not to do that. How a person that you told you loved everyday could knowingly cheat on you? When i took my vows of marriage i meant it. i was presented with situations and i resisted because i loved my ex wife. she obviously did not. They say cheating has nothing to do with love i disagree. I think if you dont love a person you can still care for them. I asked her the night of all this coming out if she cared for me, she said yes, i said why then did you not just tell me you didnt love me anymore before you went and found a new man? I did not get a response.
Ugh such a horrible thing to do to a person besides murder i cant imagine any other crime worse than adultry. You cant imagine the stupid things i felt through all of it, A person you loved completely and unconditionally 100% betrayed everything you felt. They take away your dreams of what matters in life a family, kids, grandkids, growing old with eachother and being there for the last breath your spouse takes.
Well since i have moved on gotten a divorce and am ready to start over with someone new lucky girl and start all over(actually kinda excited)
Best advice to a person is, dont cheat, leave tell someone you dont love them anything but cheat. if you truly care anything for you bf/gf/wife/or husband dont ever ever do this no matter what they look like or how you feel.
thats my story and i'm sticking to it
You have a different perspective than most. You are THROUGH it already. And you were the one trying to understand the WHY. Not how to avoid getting caught. You cant just tell someone not to. Like i said in an earlier post.. normally there is no logic or at least not much sound logic for some. Its not as simple as .. 'dont cheat' or 'I am Mr or Mrs perfect and wont ever cheat' I call bs. Until your faced with a situation that matches those who are speaking here who have been through it or did it.. well .. sorry but the opinion holds little weight.
I do love you guys and value each and everyone of you.
I dont know.. maybe I have a different perspective. Maybe I am the odd one.
I respect your opinion but truly disagree. you dont cheat period. i cant say the same for everyone here but it never ever enterd my mind while i was married. yes i did have opportunity several times i said no, but at the time, my marriage meant everything to me. i agree i wasnt always the best husband but when you take the vows of marriage you stick together through good times in bad thick and thin when times got tough and i was not there 24-7 i was cheated on.several times...and told the night before my grandma's funeral. you do not get married until the better a better person comes along its a life long commitment, if there are problems you work on them and if you cant then the marriage may end. you dont sleep with another 1st and admit it to them after the fact. there is not justification in cheating ever.0 -
I had pudding. <sigh>0
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