Would you cheat?

alpha2omega

Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....

It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.

That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I agree with this.

Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.

Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....

Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.

Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?

grinch031

Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....

It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.

That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I agree with this.

Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.

Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....

Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.

Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?

Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.

alpha2omega

Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....

It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.

That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I agree with this.

Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.

Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....

Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.

Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?

Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.

Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.

chauncyrenayCHANGED

Nope.

runningdiva77

LOL!

grinch031

Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....

It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.

That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I agree with this.

Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.

Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....

Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.

Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?

Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.

Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.

You felt the need to demonstate a point that what I stated is just an opinion? I thought that was quite obvious.

ladytinkerbell99

Personally, I think the answer to this question changes based on demographics.
I personally think it is wrong to condemn someone for not thinking there is anything wrong with stepping outside the marriage and voicing that opinion.

In the same token, I think others should have the right to say that they are against cheating - if that is their opinion.

If you worked in the field, you would note:

1) That although many women on here are commenting on all the men that have cheated - as many women (if not more) cheat. This is a fact. Women just do not come out and tell others, but it still does happen.

Is that right or wrong? Is that really for us to decide?

And if someone admits that yes, they might "cheat"........is it up to the people on MFP now to become moral police??

alpha2omega

Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....

It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.

That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I agree with this.

Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.

Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....

Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.

Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?

Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.

Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.

You felt the need to demonstate a point that what I stated is just an opinion? I thought that was quite obvious.

Your statement came across condescending. Just wanted to bring clarity to your statement for the OP sake since not everyone feels they same way you do on the subject.

machinegunkate

Porn is not cheating. It is a release. A lot of men need their release (heck I know I do) almost daily/twice daily and a lot of women can't or don't want to keep up with this. Would you rather your man suffer and got frustrated (and so angry, harder to deal with) or dealt with it. Men don't look at the woman or what they are about in porn - its simply a body to to look at. Hence mens porn is just that - no real story, nothing. Just T&A and bea....

It's not that I can't keep up with him, it's the other way around. When he is solely watching porn and wanting nothing to do with me, that hurts.

That's a different issue, but that wasn't very clear earlier in the thread. You and him should really have a talk about that. Its never good when your spouse doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I agree with this.

Talk to your husband. I suspect that you guys have some serious communication issues if you are using the internet to find answers and he is all lost in porn. Put the baby down for a nap. Turn off all forms of media. Engage in a little intimacy with your husband. It can start as a conversation and who knows where it will lead... all the best to you.

Thanks, but this really isn't about me. My husband has sleep problems and is always tired, so that's why there's little to no sex. Or at least I'm hoping that's the only reason lol. I have talked to him about the porn, because I caught him watching it, after he had told me when we first got together he would give it up for me. He lied, and what's worse, hid it from me. I am not like most women...that does bug me. But I BELIEVE it's over with now....

Of course he told you that. That's what you wanted to hear because you had this irrational belief that porn is bad and he didn't want to be bothered about it.

Why is it irrational? Your opinion is just that an opinion. If I were to say people like you only watch porn because they lack the social skills and or physical attractiveness to meet and interact with an actual individual would I be correct simply by saying so?

Yeah its just my opinion. And I would say you're pretty ignorant if you actually believe the second part.

Thanks for clearing that up and no I don't believe that. It was just said to make a point. Point made.

You felt the need to demonstate a point that what I stated is just an opinion? I thought that was quite obvious.

Your statement came across condescending. Just wanted to bring clarity to your statement for the OP sake since not everyone feels they same way you do on the subject.

I'm just quoting to keep the over-quoting going.

>.<

Alexandrosrh9

I was cheated on, because of what I looked like (at least thats what she said to me). I like to think there was much more than that. I believe that women (those who cheat), do it for many reasons than just the physical aspect. As much as it hurt, I would not do it. It hurts way too much. I am the kind of person that would like to see her put in her best effort to improve herself -for her- not for me. Not just physically, but the whole package. There is not such thing as the perfect mate or significant other or whatever you wanna call it. Dont worry so much about making him happy via appearances. If thats the case, then you're in trouble but the solution is not cheating.

KarenLue

I was cheated on, because of what I looked like (at least thats what she said to me). I like to think there was much more than that. I believe that women (those who cheat), do it for many reasons than just the physical aspect. As much as it hurt, I would not do it. It hurts way too much. I am the kind of person that would like to see her put in her best effort to improve herself -for her- not for me. Not just physically, but the whole package. There is not such thing as the perfect mate or significant other or whatever you wanna call it. Dont worry so much about making him happy via appearances. If thats the case, then you're in trouble but the solution is not cheating.

Well said. Nice post.

dubw

Nobody knows exactly what might happen in a given situation, even when one is not looking to cheat. A mood, a whim, a chemical change in the brain. Cheating benefits nobody, unless it is a hooker strung out on drugs, thus taking her off the street for a few minutes. An affair is a train wreck and there are no survivors - only the mangled and walking dead. Anguish and guilt are the result.

After all, lust and love are just chemical processes based on animal instincts. Hopefully, we walk on two, not four feet.

ItsCasey

Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.

grinch031

Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.

The ACT of sex is not instinctive in humans? What?

50% of married couples can't keep their word and end up divorced. I have no reason to believe that people on MFP are any different than the people elsewhere. Seems like there are a lot of naive people here. Not to say everyone *would* cheat (I'm sure most wouldn't), but most people who are currently in a healthy relationship seem to be incapable of even understanding what its like being in an unhealthy relationship with their spouse.

BeautifulRedButterfly

As one person said in the previous comments :
"Never say never because you do not know what is going to be around the corner"

Yes, that is true...
But I know myself enough not to hurt my fiance like that!

AlbionLass

Boyfriend of 17 years is a slim, fit, Depp lookalike, I'd be a bit silly to throw that way...

nnylee

No way. I am so in love with my boyfriend it's not even funny. He has an amazing personality and he's hot, and fit. No wayyyy!

Wileyjoe

no

ItsCasey

Believe it or not, there are still people in the world who believe so strongly in keeping their word that they CAN definitively say they would never cheat. If you have taken a vow to be faithful to someone for the rest of your life, and you don't know for sure if you would cheat until faced with the choice, you are basically admitting that your word doesn't mean a whole lot. Facing temptation (and everyone will at some point) doesn't mean giving in to it. Yes, we have animal instincts. We also have cognitive abilities to control our behavior, which animals do not. The DESIRE to have sex is instinctive in all animals, including humans; the ACT of sex itself is not instinctive in humans. If it were, we'd all be banging every random, attractive person we saw.

The ACT of sex is not instinctive in humans? What?

50% of married couples can't keep their word and end up divorced. I have no reason to believe that people on MFP are any different than the people elsewhere. Seems like there are a lot of naive people here. Not to say everyone *would* cheat (I'm sure most wouldn't), but most people who are currently in a healthy relationship seem to be incapable of even understanding what its like being in an unhealthy relationship with their spouse.

If it were instinctive, you literally wouldn't be able to control yourself. That's what instinctive means. I'm guessing that if you went into your bedroom right now and saw a really attractive person of the opposite sex lying on your bed naked, you could stop yourself from having sex with that person.

As I said, your DESIRE to have sex is instinctive; there's nothing you can do about it. You CAN control whether or not you act on it.

And nobody is saying that it isn't difficult to be in an unhealthy relationship, especially a marriage. There are few, if any, people in the world who can honestly say they've never even thought about what it would be like to be with someone else, even if their relationship IS healthy. But this notion that we can't stop ourselves from having sex with someone because of chemicals in our brain is just not true. It is, in fact, our ability to stop ourselves (i.e. control our behavior) that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

BAMFMeredith

If you're willing to cheat on your partner for any reason, you need to reevaluate your relationship.