Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?

wittlelacey

Emphasis on CLINGY. I'm talking a boyfriend or girlfriend who:

Overplay the phrase "I love you"
Can't go an hour apart without letting you know that they miss you terribly.
Saying you'll be together forever after 2 months.
Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail.
HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second).
Want to hang out every day.
Cry (boys too!) whenever they think you're remotely upset.
Say "Do you not love me anymore? Are you going to dump me?" during every argument.
Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis.
Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form.
etc. etc.

Note: All of the above describe my boyfriend of 4 months. These were just the ones that came to the top of my head instantly, there's plenty more but this is the jist. I feel suffocated and I need to know-am I crazy for feeling discontent by all this affection or am I a lucky girl to have a boyfriend so sensitive and considerate? How do you guys handle this? Turn on or turn off?

cmriverside

As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

Yeah. Run.

wittlelacey

As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

Yeah. Run.

bahahaha oh goodness. I'm not sure if this lightened my mood, or made me even more in question! Regardless, interesting story but sorry you had to endure that haha

alyson820

Hell no. I need my space, my privacy, and my alone time.

hapoo100

As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

Yeah. Run.

^^this

toabetterlifestyle

I love that my boyfriend is clingy in a way and jealous, it shows he cares about me. but what you're describing is way over the top... The i love you thing is okay..ish..but the together forever thing is annoying as f**k. Little *kitten* kids do that and it pisses me off! Unless youve been best friends for years before, then don't even start that lol. boys crying so much is such a turn off. death, break up, in pain = okay to cry. anything is okay to cry about just dont over do it you know the girlfriend doesn't want to be more manly than the boyfriend..i don't want a boy being more feminine than me lol. that argument thing would annoy the crap out of me and one day i would snap and say yes, i am going to dump you if you keep asking. the wallposts are cute imo, because its showing hes not embarrassed to say it in a "public" place. but poems and stuff is kind of over the top..maybe like once a year for an anniversary but not on a daily basis. i love PDA, but sometimes you're right, we need our space.

kittycarson

As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

Yeah. Run.

^^^^^THIS!!! ^^^^^

Dilfster

nope.

SoDamnHungry

He sounds either controlling or unnecessarily needy. Either way, the situation will probably get worse.

dmalistar

No way in hell. I'm way too independent for that.
Makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Eww.

misssiri

Run!! It will only get worse.

alise_lmx

My husband was sort of like this when we first met. Definitely not as bad as your list, but he did a few of those things. It was a big turn off for me after a while, lol. But, he definitely grew out of that "puppy love" stage, that's for sure! haha I think it takes a few months. I think i remember that it was maybe close to a year that he really cut all that mushy crap out. We've been together 10 years now!

susannamarie

My God, does he join you in the bathroom when you're taking a wee or merely wait outside anxiously hoping you haven't left him through the window?

Okay, that was a bit facetious, but seriously! No, it's NOT attractive, it shows he's deeply insecure as well!

wittlelacey

I love that my boyfriend is clingy in a way and jealous, it shows he cares about me. but what you're describing is way over the top... The i love you thing is okay..ish..but the together forever thing is annoying as f**k. Little *kitten* kids do that and it pisses me off! Unless youve been best friends for years before, then don't even start that lol. boys crying so much is such a turn off. death, break up, in pain = okay to cry. anything is okay to cry about just dont over do it you know the girlfriend doesn't want to be more manly than the boyfriend..i don't want a boy being more feminine than me lol. that argument thing would annoy the crap out of me and one day i would snap and say yes, i am going to dump you if you keep asking. the wallposts are cute imo, because its showing hes not embarrassed to say it in a "public" place. but poems and stuff is kind of over the top..maybe like once a year for an anniversary but not on a daily basis. i love PDA, but sometimes you're right, we need our space.

this. is. how. i. feel.
i love him, but he doesn't understand the concept of space. i thought he would be less clingy by now, but no.
if i dump him, his heart will shatter.
i am so conflicted.

GabeRami

You aren't crazy. It's hard to be with someone clingy, especially when you aren't. I have to say, for me it is somewhat of a turn off. I like someone confident and independent that can stand next to me, not in front, or behind me, know what I mean? Someone who is clingy, will always be behind you...

AllanMisner

He has codependent behaviors. Not good. I agree with the others, run, run fast and far.

wittlelacey

My husband was sort of like this when we first met. Definitely not as bad as your list, but he did a few of those things. It was a big turn off for me after a while, lol. But, he definitely grew out of that "puppy love" stage, that's for sure! haha I think it takes a few months. I think i remember that it was maybe close to a year that he really cut all that mushy crap out. We've been together 10 years now!

This is reassuring

unmitigatedbadassery

Wow, I, myself, am guilty of this. I had no idea people had such strong feelings about it. I guess I'd better tell my girlfriend that she has met the "I love you" quota for the day.

neversettle

not at all.
i am a very independent woman and I NEED my space or it won't last.

Snow__White

maybe he just has OCD?

EBFNP

NO NO NO!!! I am an introvert to the core, and I hate when people try to smother me. That is why I am only compatible with other introverts because I need a lot of alone time, quietness and personal space. I seriously don't need to see my SO, family, or most people every day to function.

wittlelacey

Wow, I, myself, am guilty of this. I had no idea people had such strong feelings about it. I guess I'd better tell my girlfriend that she has met the "I love you" quota for the day.

hahaha you never know! there are some girls that dig it.

FlyByJuly

My thoughts....this is not good. Warning sign. Huge red flag. I'm sure you're not crazy to feel discontent by all the affection. However, I don't feel that you're lucky to have somebody like that. If it were me, I'd end it, and the sooner the better. But then again, you didn't say how you feel toward him. You asked; turn-on or turn-off? HUGE turn-off. Nobody needs a clingon. Except maybe another clingon. Wishing you the best.

Note: I do not mean to sound like I'm saying you're a clingon!!

ANeWcRe8N

I love a guy who is affectionate or sensitive, but most of the stuff you listed is just too much. Don't think I could handle it lol.

firesoforion

I wouldn't get through 4 dates with someone like that. In fact I'm a little too extreme the other way.

But seriously, that's too much. If you don't feel free to get out because his heart will shatter, that's not a very promising foundation for a relationship. Everybody likes people who don't like them back. Everybody has people like them whose feelings they don't reciprocate. He needs to realize that and get a genuine appreciation for someone who genuinely feels the same way he does.

wittlelacey

maybe he just has OCD?

he does have to brush his teeth after every single meal/snack, but that's the only compulsive habit he has.

Cadenpet

No you are right to feel smothered. They are overly codependent. That mess rubs me the wrong way so bad. I have left partners for that very reason. I need my me time.

monocot

Mine isnt that bad but I've been with him for 8 years.
Texts me constantly, Even though we live apart, he comes to my house every night after work @ 5am to sleep at my place and instists on touching me in some form when we're in the same room. I can't play on the computer without him sitting close by and having his hand on my knee or attempting to give me a foot massage. He even cuddles in his Sleep,if I move away when he's asleep,he feels my side til he feels me then rolls over so we;re touching again.

Sp1nGoddess

Are you sure he's a guy?


jk If you are uncomfortable something is wrong - listen to your instincts.

felice03

No, no, nonono...it would drive me batty.

Justforgetthis

I can't handle it whatsoever. If my boyfriend gets clingy I get rid of him ASAP.