Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?

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  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail. -Me and my boyfriend have been doing this most nights for 2 years


    HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second). - yup we do this everyday

    Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis. - not on a daily basis xD that is a bit much. But my boyfriend will send me these occasionally while i sleep

    Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form. - how we are a lot when we are together


    maybe it is different since we are in a long distance relationship though. I love that he is like that though.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    Space is so very important... I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum as my wife and I live 2500 miles apart, and I would love to have LESS space (until we live together and then I get NONE lol) It is very important not to feel smothered, and it's a delicate balance because he flies off the handle every time you try to talk to him about it and bawls like a 2 year old (THIS behavior is why the "red flags" are being mentioned here!!!) It's not because of the mushy gushy stuff... that stuff is kinda sweet... and I am even like that (and clingy and touchy feely as well) just not ALL the time. When it's time to sleep... roll over and sleep damn it! LOL

    If you can't talk to him about this... ever... you are eventually going to have to leave, and it's probably not going to be pretty. I wish you nothing but the best either way. :)
    lol yeah well I can't even get this one to nap. Sorry to hear about the dilemma between you and your wife! Here I am complaining about a little cling when you're dealing long distance. I can see the red flags, and I'm going to do what i can to prevent them from growing.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail. -Me and my boyfriend have been doing this most nights for 2 years


    HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second). - yup we do this everyday

    Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis. - not on a daily basis xD that is a bit much. But my boyfriend will send me these occasionally while i sleep

    Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form. - how we are a lot when we are together


    maybe it is different since we are in a long distance relationship though. I love that he is like that though.
    i think long distance is entirely different haha. and plus, some people love this. i loved it at one time.
  • ginnylee74
    ginnylee74 Posts: 398 Member
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    As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



    I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

    Yeah. Run.


    I have a friend who was in a relationship like this and after marriage she became an abused wife. Took a lot to get away. She ended up having to move to another state and start over. Think this over very carefully. See how he acts if you want to do a few things with friends without him or with your family. Also be careful if he throws in a few hurtful remarks when you have a disagreement or his touching gets a little rough. Sometimes that's how abuse starts.
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    Yea I was thinking so xD Long distance you really have to keep up the connection!


    I had a boyfriend that was just insanely clingly like that in high school though. Like I couldn't even have a girls night out without him wanting to come -.- when i first talked to him about a possible break up he cried and held me to the point my shirt was nasty.

    THAT was annoying though. Too much!!! He even got a tattoo after we broke up to try and win me back. since i told him i though rib tattoos were sexy. How long were we together? 4 months.... o.o
  • antonio823
    antonio823 Posts: 298 Member
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    The movie "Fatal Attraction" comes to mind... #justsaying
  • DietPep1978
    DietPep1978 Posts: 202
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    Emphasis on CLINGY. I'm talking a boyfriend or girlfriend who:

    Overplay the phrase "I love you"
    Can't go an hour apart without letting you know that they miss you terribly.
    Saying you'll be together forever after 2 months.
    Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail.
    HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second).
    Want to hang out every day.
    Cry (boys too!) whenever they think you're remotely upset.
    Say "Do you not love me anymore? Are you going to dump me?" during every argument.
    Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis.
    Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form.
    etc. etc.

    Note: All of the above describe my boyfriend of 4 months. These were just the ones that came to the top of my head instantly, there's plenty more but this is the jist. I feel suffocated and I need to know-am I crazy for feeling discontent by all this affection or am I a lucky girl to have a boyfriend so sensitive and considerate? How do you guys handle this? Turn on or turn off?

    Sounds like TROUBLE! I seen a previous poster had the advice to - RUN! I'd have to agree!
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    ...or maybe he just really loves you and doesn't realize he's coming across as overbearing... nah, that can't be it - he's a psycho fa sho!
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
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    Hell no. I need my space.
  • ericalynn104
    ericalynn104 Posts: 382 Member
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    After having my man be gone for two and a half years (Marine Corps) I would just love to have him here to have the option. But in the times we have spent together, I have figured out that we both still need space. There is a line between affectionate and clingy.
  • marie_2454
    marie_2454 Posts: 881 Member
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    Well, you've lasted 3 months and 29 days longer than I would have in a relationship like that. LMAO, but seriously...I'm really independent and have a pretty strong personality (I've been told I can be a bit intimidating and am really hard to read) and clingy just isn't going to work. That's not to say that relationships like that can't work. My younger sister and her bf of over a year are pretty attached to each other and do everything they can together. While I could never do that because I need to be alone sometimes or go out with just the girls, it totally works for them. To each their own I guess...
  • Kaylee_law_123
    Kaylee_law_123 Posts: 450 Member
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    NO!!!!!!
    That's just creepy!
  • jakeschafer
    jakeschafer Posts: 91
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    Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail. -Me and my boyfriend have been doing this most nights for 2 years


    HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second). - yup we do this everyday

    Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis. - not on a daily basis xD that is a bit much. But my boyfriend will send me these occasionally while i sleep

    Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form. - how we are a lot when we are together


    maybe it is different since we are in a long distance relationship though. I love that he is like that though.


    Yeah i agree that is what im doing too its more than reasonable with long distance imo for the sole fact im going through that. And for the op i would give him a chance i mean sure it may seem a bit bizarre but its like children they go through stages if you will, as time passes it'll dissipate im sure
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail. -Me and my boyfriend have been doing this most nights for 2 years


    HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second). - yup we do this everyday

    Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis. - not on a daily basis xD that is a bit much. But my boyfriend will send me these occasionally while i sleep

    Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form. - how we are a lot when we are together


    maybe it is different since we are in a long distance relationship though. I love that he is like that though.


    Yeah i agree that is what im doing too its more than reasonable with long distance imo for the sole fact im going through that. And for the op i would give him a chance i mean sure it may seem a bit bizarre but its like children they go through stages if you will, as time passes it'll dissipate im sure

    Very wise padawan - I concur.
  • onefourone
    onefourone Posts: 212
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    Run!! It will only get worse.

    this
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    DEVILS ADVOCATE:

    So ask yourself this, are you fueling this type of behavior? He actually might think you like it.
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    DEVILS ADVOCATE:

    So ask yourself this, are you fueling this type of behavior? He actually might think you like it.
    BOOM!
  • CoralConnor
    CoralConnor Posts: 42 Member
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    If you are happy with him in general, give him some more time and SET BOUNDARIES about how often you will talk/contact each other. If he cannot follow them, then get the heck outta dodge!!
  • tataliciousd89
    tataliciousd89 Posts: 465
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    Nope, can't deal with it personally, but I tend to be guilty of grabbing my mans junk constantly when I have one. Not when we're with other people, but just like when it's us kickin it around the house.
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    sounds like a teenage romance to me

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