Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?

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  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    Wow, I, myself, am guilty of this. I had no idea people had such strong feelings about it. I guess I'd better tell my girlfriend that she has met the "I love you" quota for the day.
    hahaha you never know! there are some girls that dig it.
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
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    My thoughts....this is not good. Warning sign. Huge red flag. I'm sure you're not crazy to feel discontent by all the affection. However, I don't feel that you're lucky to have somebody like that. If it were me, I'd end it, and the sooner the better. But then again, you didn't say how you feel toward him. You asked; turn-on or turn-off? HUGE turn-off. Nobody needs a clingon. Except maybe another clingon. Wishing you the best.

    Note: I do not mean to sound like I'm saying you're a clingon!! :wink:
  • ANeWcRe8N
    ANeWcRe8N Posts: 1,180 Member
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    I love a guy who is affectionate or sensitive, but most of the stuff you listed is just too much. Don't think I could handle it lol.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    I wouldn't get through 4 dates with someone like that. In fact I'm a little too extreme the other way.

    But seriously, that's too much. If you don't feel free to get out because his heart will shatter, that's not a very promising foundation for a relationship. Everybody likes people who don't like them back. Everybody has people like them whose feelings they don't reciprocate. He needs to realize that and get a genuine appreciation for someone who genuinely feels the same way he does.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    maybe he just has OCD?
    he does have to brush his teeth after every single meal/snack, but that's the only compulsive habit he has.
  • Cadenpet
    Cadenpet Posts: 79
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    No you are right to feel smothered. They are overly codependent. That mess rubs me the wrong way so bad. I have left partners for that very reason. I need my me time.
  • monocot
    monocot Posts: 475 Member
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    Mine isnt that bad but I've been with him for 8 years.
    Texts me constantly, Even though we live apart, he comes to my house every night after work @ 5am to sleep at my place and instists on touching me in some form when we're in the same room. I can't play on the computer without him sitting close by and having his hand on my knee or attempting to give me a foot massage. He even cuddles in his Sleep,if I move away when he's asleep,he feels my side til he feels me then rolls over so we;re touching again.
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Are you sure he's a guy?


    jk If you are uncomfortable something is wrong - listen to your instincts.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    No, no, nonono...it would drive me batty.
  • Justforgetthis
    Justforgetthis Posts: 6
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    I can't handle it whatsoever. If my boyfriend gets clingy I get rid of him ASAP.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    Yup and no good ... my daughter recently had a boyfriend who texted her 123 times in one night how much he loved her - she dropped him like an old pair of shoes shortly after that

    It is not healthy and you need to speak up as to how uncomfortable his behavior is making you feel - then be very careful.
  • jenlb99
    jenlb99 Posts: 213 Member
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    DEAR GOD NO!!

    Honestly, it's hard to respect. A boy might act like that, but I assure you, a MAN does not.

    I dated a man 3.5 years ago who started out normal, then progressed into that clingy, needy crap you speak of, and it annoyed me to no end. He would literally cry when I got angry at him -- and he was a 29 year old engineer, FFS!!! I got rid of him and then had to change my number and emails because he wouldn't leave me alone.

    I checked my old email 6 months ago, and guess what? He's STILL sending emails all the time -- and they're SCARY.

    Chances are, he will suffocate any love you have for him out of you if he doesn't stop. He needs his own life, his own friends, and you need the same. Good luck!
  • WanderingMe
    WanderingMe Posts: 216 Member
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    Youre not crazy at all. That sounds way overly serious for a short lived relationship...At this point in your relationship it should still all be puppies and rainbows, and if youre already feeling this way, I'd say its a definite warning sign.

    I wouldnt call it clingy, I'd call it codependent.
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
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    Turn off.

    I had a boy tell me he loved me after our very first date when I was 16. We didn't have another.

    However, my husband told me he loved me maybe 2 weeks into our relationship. I rolled my eyes at him and told him it was only puppy love. In 20 days we'll have been together 9 years and he still occasionally brings up that it's "only puppy love".

    If you're feeling suffocated it is time to have a chat. If you aren't down with the constant closeness and neediness, that is perfectly OK. I'm going to guess you are fairly young and I have to say, this is kinda how young couples are when they are "in love" for the first time. Not all but many. To be completely honest and blunt, it would drive me batsh!t.

    Just one thing - if he starts threatening to kill himself because he thinks you are rejecting him, tell someone; a parent or sibling, maybe his best friend. I had to deal with that sort of situation once. Sometimes it is just a form of manipulation but sometimes it isn't.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I could never date someone like that. I hang out by myself for hours on end and I couldn't spend all my time with just one person.
  • jillwaller10
    jillwaller10 Posts: 17 Member
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    From my experience, clingy usually means controlling. And it may seem "sweet" for a while, but it gets scary really fast. Not to mention annoying as hell. Take it from a girl whose ex planned their wedding less than 2 weeks into their relationship.
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 940 Member
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    Yup and no good ... my daughter recently had a boyfriend who texted her 123 times in one night how much he loved her - she dropped him like an old pair of shoes shortly after that

    It is not healthy and you need to speak up as to how uncomfortable his behavior is making you feel - then be very careful.

    I had a gf in college like this and it ended when she carved my name in her kitchen counter and threatened to kill herself when i left
  • 1Timothy4v8
    1Timothy4v8 Posts: 503 Member
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    I think that he is more in love with you then you are with him, when my hubby and I were in honey mood stage we were both this dicusting lol after a couple years of marrige it kinda goes to normal,

    He also my just be in love with the concept of being in love.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    My thoughts....this is not good. Warning sign. Huge red flag. I'm sure you're not crazy to feel discontent by all the affection. However, I don't feel that you're lucky to have somebody like that. If it were me, I'd end it, and the sooner the better. But then again, you didn't say how you feel toward him. You asked; turn-on or turn-off? HUGE turn-off. Nobody needs a clingon. Except maybe another clingon. Wishing you the best.

    Note: I do not mean to sound like I'm saying you're a clingon!! :wink:
    hahaha didn't think so, no worries :) I've gone through many boyfriends and have dumped them all. I'm very picky, and fell for this one fast. At first, I loved our relationship! I can admit I was a little clingy, but an average amount-nowhere near this! The last couple of weeks have been different. It's more annoying than cute. When I try to approach him about it, I get the waterworks. He's a terrific person, so there's a special place in my heart for this boy, but unless our relationship can escape the "puppy love" stage, there's no future for us. I will give him time, but I may end up leaving. It just pains me so much, he treats me so well and I do love him. It's tough.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    No way..gross. I find it a huge turn off.

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